I Was Ear Raped!

In the words of my colleagues, my phone number is slutted out to the whole of Singapore, primarily cos I'm the point man for most of the businesses that we have.

But this one, this one. I went behind the wheel of my car and set a new world record for longest continuous stream of expletives in 4 languages.

"Hi, this is Edmund."

"Hi, do you have any cars for rent?"

"Sure, when do you need it?"

"Maybe today?"

"Hmm... there are a couple of cars that I have. What's your price range?"

"Well... don't matter as long as I'm comfortable... how old are you? You sound really young..."

"Thanks"

"I like young men..."

"Err ok..."

"I wanna make friend with you... Would you like that?"

He then carried on a little on what he likes about young men.

"Sorry, I don't quite swing that way. Thanks for asking anyway. BYE."

Let it not be said that my customer service is lacking in any manner. There are many things I'm willing to take for my team. Giving up my ass virginity is not one of them.

Missed Calls

I HATE ANONYMOUS CALLS.

One missed call when I'm sleeping without caller-ID. Fine. 3 missed calls. That's a little much.

Then I go to the toilet. Past the point of no return, one more time.

In the middle of an overseas call, AGAIN. I switch over, and the person puts the fucking phone down.

I take a shower, and the phone rings. Guess who, yup. Phantom caller. Nearly kill myself getting out of the shower, and miss the call again. 3 FUCKING seconds the person can't hold on.

And to add insult to injury, now the phone stares back at me, not. a. peep.

Nabeh.