Look At Yourself In The Mirror

Look everyone, I have had it up to HERE with all this crap about who's fault is what in the whole Gaza-Israel situation. And I want every single one of you, to be reflecting on your own posts, and actions. If you insist on being children about it, I will treat you as one, and lay it down as I see it. 

First up, anyone who shares any "Israel is evil", or "Palestine needs to die" posts. Just how do you think blaming and demonizing either side is going to help this entire situation? I frankly don't care what your excuses are. And how justified you think you are. Seriously. Take a good look at all your comments, and the posts you like, and the ones you shared. IT'S ALL HATE! It's all "you're wrong, I'm right. Neh neh neh neh nehhhh." 

How are you different from hatemongers? How are you different from racists, bigots or dare I say, Nazis of the past? You who pick up your electronic stone, and cast it, who spread hate and annihilation with every post, and then accuse another for the exact same thing that you do. 

HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU STAND FOR PEACE? Is this what peace is like for you? When people trample over people and killing starts? There are riots in cities because enough of you think like this, and suddenly killing and violence is justified. 

Look at the ones you demonize and then at yourselves. Do you see a reflection? 

Next, boycotters. I keep saying it. But obviously this isn't getting through. Well I'm gonna say it again. You hate it that innocent civilians get hurt and injured when countries try to prove a point? Or that people get caught in the cross fire? 

Well WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??

Boycotting companies for abhorrent practices work because they run on profits. Do it enough, and it'll be more profitable to take on a more responsible action. 

Boycotting countries? Never worked. Never. Ever. Name me ONE, just one UN sanction that actually worked. Go on. Try. Cuba? China? North Korea? Myanmar? In the last 100 years, economic sanctions have never worked. Why? 

Let me break it down for you. Eventually the people that suffer are the ones who are on the ground. Think! You think that you're proving a point. Good. You've proved it, at what expense? Innocent people on the ground lose their jobs, or are in hardship. Or are in pain. To who? The civilians, the innocents. If the people had the power to bring down the regime, do you think they wouldn't by NOW? What are you thinking about? By pushing all of them into a corner, by beating on them, what do you hope to accomplish? 

The people in power, stay in power. They are inconvenienced but they're not even close to being down. Are they going to change? Never did, never will. If they cared, you'd never have needed the boycotts in the first place. If they didn't, what makes you think that they'll care?

And in the end, what you do, is the economic equivalent of carpet bombing. Hurting and damaging property and people caught in the cross fire to prove your point. How does that help? 

And third. This is to each and every single one of you who do not verify your stuff before you post. For the love of all that is holy, things are bad enough on the ground and in media without false reports flying around and people throwing accusations over half truths and historical muck. 

Sure we can understand what things were like before, and I'm sure that for human beings who cannot even decide on whether a dish is good or not, in a new restaurant, history over the span of decades and centuries, taken from scraps, interviews and survivors, pieced together by human beings with preconceived notions and bias would be complete and irrevocably true right?

History is a series of data points. How you choose to interpret those data points determines the picture you draw. And even if the picture is accurate, then what? How does it help the current situation, except add more fuel to fire?

facing up or down? Also the blueprints of a bomb Shelter. You're welcome, Hamas

Fourth, it is so much easier to spread hate than peace isn't it? I have seen inflammatory pictures, videos and articles spread incredibly fast around Facebook. Every time one comes up accusing one side or another, thousands of shares in hours. And frankly, I don't see the difference in opinions any more. 

Taken from 2 separate posts. 

From my own Facebook, I see people so eager to take sides, but when it comes to peace? Hardly any likes or shares. Get with the program. I have been saying this for day one. Right and wrong are just points of view. Alive and dead, now that's way more relevant isn't it? And if you're really FOR peace, look for #ceasefireinGaza, Israel loves Palestine, Palestine loves Israel, and #jewsandarabsrefusetobeenemies.

And finally, Israel, wrong frigging tactics. Seriously. All this could have easily been avoided the second you guys decided to take the fight to the ground. Let this Chinese show you how it's done. 

1. Start air dropping aid, instead of depending on central bodies to distribute them. Too slow, and too easily misdirected. The people will know how to distribute to their own. If Hamas decides to take the aid for their own, well, ever seen a mama bear try to protect her cubs?

2. Armored convoys to evacuate all hospitals and schools. Feel free to shoot anyone who tries to stop the convoy. IDF will be perfectly justified then.

3. If any Palestinians want to leave the area, assist them by establishing a clear straight path out from the middle of all the build up areas in Gaza. This is when I'll actually advocate bulldozing the houses so a straight path is established. Compensation can come later. Lives first. Strip search for bombs. It might be humiliating, but at least you have blood and life to be embarrassed.

4. Pump florescent smoke into all the tunnels. Literally fill them with smoke. Anyone inside dies, and one just need to wait till nighttime to see where all the entrances are. If you want to be reallllyyy nice, use weed. Might as well help the drug enforcement agency get rid of their confiscated stash at the same time.

Casualties on both sides will be much MUCH less.

Oh, if you have the chance, go like the pages, Israel loves Palestine, Palestine loves Israel and #jewsandarabsrefusetobeenemies.

DAFAQ - A View of the Gaza-Israel conflict through the eyes on the ground.

Finally finished this little project. Take a peek and comment. And yes, I'm good at only stickmen...

Jpeg here

Of Saints and Demons

So recently, a few things brought my attention to the whole drama in the Middle East. Friends on Facebook have been vilifying one country and putting another up on a pedestal because of conflict. Harsh words exchanged and tempers flared. Passionate pleas on all sides. I was also asked to do a National Education Talk for one of my clients.

I know right, me. Doing an NE talk. The irony of it all.

Still, in the preparation for the NE talk, I decided to dig. First that came up, was Russell Peters response to Middle Easterners.

He raised some rather interesting points. Like, things in the Middle East are so messed up, that it often seems like they're fighting each other until someone else comes along to try to get them to play nice. In which case, they not very politely tell the person to fuck off. And then continue beating each other up.

Point, the second. I tried reading into the history of the region. And frankly, that's a whole jumble of grudges and ancient claims. Essentially, what THAT has become, is because you killed my father/brother/uncle/cousin and stole my goat, I'm gonna go whoop your ass and take 4 chickens. Multiply that about 24,391 times, and throw in land and other people sticking their noses in because of oil, and you have the current situation.

I do know a few things though. It is easy to demonize your enemy. And when your life is at stake, whatever is on the "other side" is evil. That's how wars start. Any war. Do you want to say that Hitler was evil? Fact is, that dig a little more, and the trade embargoes, taxes, war tributes imposed by the Allied nations against the ENTIRE Prussian State beggared the country to the point when there was nothing to live for anymore. When pushed into a corner, even a mouse will fight.

Does that mean I condone genocide of the Jews and the killing of 20 million people in the war? Nope. But what I'm saying is when you demonize something, or someone, you take that first step into a long, dark road that ends in the ultimate senselessness called WAR.

Three. when shit hits the fan, there's no more right ad wrong any more. Eventually, everything becomes personal. I had the privilege to speak with an Army Colonel in Cambodia who started fighting in wars from the time he was 10. He fought on the Khmer army against the Vietnamese, and then the Vietnamese against the Khmer Rouge. He was in the civil war as well. When I asked him about his experience, he said with sadness, "The people at the front is like a war machine, you know? Whoever is at the front of you, you kill not because of right, or wrong, but because you need to survive. You fight back because they shot at you. If you kill them, they'll come back tomorrow and kill you... The only time when anybody stops fighting is when everybody is dead. Or too tired to fight, or when there's nothing left to fight for."

Once the first bullet flies, there's no more right, or wrong. The only way to maintain sanity is for your side to maintain the moral high ground to yourself to justify the actions you have to do to survive. The only way to do that, is to demonize the other side. Down that road, is me and him, ours and them, mine and theirs.

Eventually, right and wrong are two sides of the same coin. But everything is arbitrary isn't it? It just depends on which side of the gun you stand on. The sentence "I'm right, and you're wrong" in all its forms has killed more people down the history of Mankind. The only way, to come together, is put that gun down, and hug the person in front of you.

Rumi said, "Out beyond the fields of right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there." Perhaps, if I may propose another point of view. If something promotes coming together, and peace, and openness and love. That's right. Or in the words of Bruce Lee, "under the skies, under the heavens, there is but one family. It just so happens that people are different."

Letting Go, Moving On

Today is the day I really let you go.

I was holding on to the image of you. The idea, the tiniest little hope that a miracle will happen and things will dramatically take a turn like what we see in Hollywood movies. I know otherwise, of course. No million dollar budget, and no script will make the present any different from what is. This dissonance tears at me. Tore at me.

I held onto the idea that if I let you go, what we have becomes less special, and that incredible connection we found and forged in an instant starts to fade. I hold onto that piece of me desperately, like a man clutching at clutter in a room. Each a memory of an emotion. Each precious in its own way. With a emotional weight and momentum. Like the memory and yearning for childhood keeps one from growing.

I was safe in that agony. The stasis was a familiar ache and the devil I know. Holding on, though, made me stop in my tracks. The memory of all those perfect instants of our meeting stays in my mind, more than a picture. It's like a snippet of life, repeated over and over again. Beautiful, sublime. Yet I cannot live in those times.

But I can preserve them. Hold them as precious. Set them into the tapestry of my soul and make them part of that beautiful mural. Eventually, I must choose to grow. To move again.

Thank you, for coming into my life, and for the precious gems that you left. In the end, though, I need to find my own way, and the companion who'd walk that way with me.

A Twist To The Free Hugs Campaign

Okay, I'm gonna throw this out there and see what kind of response I get.

Anyone who tells me they need a hug, or know someone who needs one, let me know. Here, by email, text, FB, whatever. I'll go and deliver that hug in person within the next 1 month.

Limit to Singapore for now, okay? Need to get my passport back first...

Being Vulnerable

It's always the periods that we are the most down, that we learn the most isn't it? If so, there MUST be a lesson in reaching out, and getting the stuffing knocked out of me, losing my passport and wallet, stranded alone in another country. 

I realize, that at a fundamental level, I have been hiding. Hiding is easiest when it's done to yourself. Keeping feelings inside, and bottled up because I do not want to acknowledge them. I am lonely, sometimes more than others. I feel that I am not worthy and I limit myself. I am afraid. 

It's terrifying to confront the fact, that maybe this low-level superhero isn't so super. That he gets scared, or feels inadequate, or is lonely even though he's the friendliest person in the room and can connect with anyone and everyone. 

So I hide. I used to be able to dance without alcohol. To make the conscious decision to lower my walls and my inhibitions, and just dance and experience the music. But with booze, it's just so much easier isn't it? 3 drinks later, the walls are easily lowered, and stays down. And we think we can enjoy the music that much more. 

But we don't. 

We cannot numb the bad feelings, the awkwardness and the embarrassment without simultaneously dulling our connections to the music, and the pleasure of being present in the moment. Funny, by drinking, we are present in the moment, but also our senses are dulled and we cannot enjoy the moment fully. 

But it was the easier way out. So over time, the conscious decision to lower my guard becomes the conscious decision to get another pint, or three. It becomes almost a need to get some every time or else I can't really dance or enjoy the music. Is it an addiction? I don't know. But I recognize, and it got me a little appalled I gotta say. There are other distractions of course, for my feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. Booze just isn't gonna cut it for those.

It's a hard thing to put down and acknowledge to myself. I thought I got it sorted out, but I guess not yet. I guess it takes as long as it does.

And then I watch this video from Brene Brown on being vulnerable. And her Ted Talk addressing shame. They both hit me like a ton of bricks. It is hard to be open and vulnerable. It is hard because we have to live with uncertainty. It's hard to put yourself out there and love without walls and without certainty. It is hard to be real.

So we all hide. Behind walls, distractions, relationships, sex, work... just anything really, to keep ourselves from dealing with it. It's just TOO hard. Not to say those aren't legitimate things to enjoy, but when they're used to be distracted...

Now that that's out in the open, I going to experience them fully, so that they too can pass. When I can become truly comfortable in my own company, and know that I am truly awesome, maybe then I'll be ready for that person that comes into my life.  

And here's my commitment. To fully experience everything that life throws at me. To revel in the moment, whatever it be. Good or bad, now I will tell the story of who I am, with my whole heart. Flawed and small it might be. Life is my arena. Whether I fail or succeed in love, life or career, there's only one way to live, and that's to be real and vulnerable, and daring greatly.

So next projects, giving the best hugs in the world, and see if my instructor will take me for the Iron Palm training for the next 6 months. Oh, and see if I can get my tango legs back.

Of Fear

It's been 35 years since I've walked on this earth, and there are a good number of things I have learnt about this emotion they call fear. It is a useful emotion, like pain. But like pain, it should never be indulged. Here are a few of those lessons.

1. Fear is as real as you allow it to be. Don't ever diss a person's fear. It is real as far as he or she is concerned. 
2. Logic does not banish fear. Logic, brain. Fear, emotion. Wrong body part. 
3. Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the willingness to take action in spite of fear. 
4. Bungee jumping does not cure one's fear of heights. Believe me, I tried. 
5. No decision made in fear will ever be the right one. It might not be wrong. But it'll never be right. 
6. I believe that fear, like problems cannot be overcome at the same level of emotional maturity that created it. 
7. Fear is a habit. As such, anything that can be used to change habit can be used to overcome fear. 

I am still afraid nowadays. It seems like the more I care about something, the more fear I have. The answer of course, is not to NOT care. But to do something, anything in spite of being absolutely terrified. And very often, the closer you get to facing that which you fear, you realize, that it starts to go away. 

And after a while, you come out the other side, buzzed on adrenaline, and thirsty for a beer. 

A New Year's Desire.

In the new year, I do not wish you wealth or success. Instead, I wish you growth.

Physically, in health and energy.
Mentally, in knowlege and wisdom.
Emotionally, in joy, and gratitude.
Spiritually, in love and courage.

The wealth and success then becomes inevitable, doesn't it?

In Memory Of A Good Man

Ladies and gents, there is something I feel quite strongly about. Many of us know that President Ong was not given a state funeral. 

Still, there's no reason why we should not give this amazing statesman his due recognition, and hold him up as a shining example of a man of principle who knows what it means to be the President of Singapore. 

In that light, with no expectation or obligation, I'd be wearing an orchid on the 8th of February. Anyone who is open to it, is welcome to join me. Feel free to spread the word.

Was in Thailand but found a florist with a sprig of orchids. RIP Mr Ong. 

The 3 Golden Rules

The older I get, the more I notice the similarity between dancing and life. It seems like the dance holds a mirror to life. Or is it the other way around?

In any case, there are 3 rules that I was taught when I first started out salsa. It seems to hold true for both dance and life. The rules are for men, so listen up. 

Rule Number 1: Make your girl LOOK good. 

Rule Number 2: Make your girl FEEL good. 

Rule Number 3: Refer to rule number 1 and 2. 

Dance with this in mind, and believe me. You'll be an amazing dancer, and a pretty good MAN. 

Thus endeth the lesson for today. 

So What's So Special About A City?

What makes a city special? If you cut to the chase, it's just buildings, and vehicles, and people concentrated into one tiny area. Between Bangkok, KL, Singapore, or hundreds of other places in the world, there's not much difference, is there? 

For me, it's the people and the memories of shared experience that we try to immortalize through pictures, or sometimes video. Scenery, architecture, art... even camwhoring or food pics. And when we are looking at the pictures afterwards, to me, it's not how nice we look, I am remembering that special moment in time, and the story that the picture tells. What the city is, is the backdrop for story. The stage where we, the actors play on. 

It's not Hong Kong, it's 3 people going shop to shop, buying one bowl of wanton noodles at every one, to share so we can figure out which is the nicest one on the block. 

It's not Yangon, it's crazy buses with living, breathing street directories, and that story about the butterfly tattoo.

It's not Penang, it's competing to see who gets the better flower picture, and an amazing scooter trip. 

It's not Bangkok, it's the most amazing stewed pork, crazy dancing, conversations, and incredible connections in the most unlikely place. 

The list goes on. 

So thank you, you who made the cities that I have been to special. Cities are special because you made them so, and I am grateful for all the stories. 

Freedom

I'm do not understand people who say that they need to get away, and take a trip. How does one escape from one's mind?

To explore, have new experiences, to meet people and have a jolly good time, sure. To change the environment so as to get an epiphany, absolutely. Go travel.

But if you can't escape your mind, it doesn't matter where you go. A new country, another city, it's all the same. The greatest escape is right there between your ears, as is the strongest of prisons.

That's why the prisoner in the tower watches the flight the birds.

When your soul is unfettered, nobody and nothing can tie you down, and the rest is just, fiddly bits.

Love Is Like A BBQ...

No, seriously. I've been giving it some thought now, and you know, I'm seeing a lot of similarity.

The Beginning - The Fire

The start of any relationship is often the most exciting. The fire burns incredibly bright, the couple can't get enough of each other, and seem stuck together like glue. They shout to the world that they're in LOVE, and since once is never enough, they do it over and over again.

The beginning the any good BBQ fire, you know, is fire. Burning high and bright, this is the visually the most exciting part of the whole evening. Not particularly useful when it comes to cooking, but it sure looks damn good.

Keep the fire at this level, and you realize that your charcoal burns out quickly, your food gets charred, and you'll end up hungry. Starting to see a similarity?

The Middle - The Heat

Anybody who has stood next to a BBQ pit will tell you that when the fire dies down, and the coals are red hot, that's when the pit is ready for the good stuff. Just because the fire is gone, don't mean the heat is. In fact, if anything, the grill is now even hotter than before.

This heat cooks everything, and a with a little patience, you can get incredible results. Perfectly done steak, vegetables slightly charred on the outside, but sweet and juicy on the inside, even clams and stingray, if you have aluminium foil.

Oh you get the occasional spurt of fire, especially if the grease drips off and into the flame, but hey, it just serves to add flavour and colour.

Keeping the grill hot at this point is not difficult. Conscientiously adding some charcoal now and then, and a few quick strokes of the fan, you can keep the grill going the entire night.

When it comes to the relationship between two people, well, the similarity is quite obvious isn't it? After the initial adrenaline rush, and mind-blowing excitement, the relationship matures to a slow, but intense burn.

Two people start finding out more about each other, intimacy deepens (no, not just the sex. Get your mind out of the gutter!), and they accept each other for who they really are, and in the words of my dear beloved sister, they would even start to grow together.

Sure there are flare-ups and arguments on occasion, but it just serves to spice up the relationship, and yes, do NOT get complacent. Be grateful, enjoy, keep the fire stoked and it will last a long time.

The End - Walking Away

At the end of the BBQ, we usually just let the fire burn down. Sure you can quench the coals, but that often leaves a bigger mess. When the charcoal is neglected, it dies. Slowly, the fuel burns to ash, and without anything new being added, it fades off, becomes a memory, and dispersed by the wind.

When two people stop working on the relationship, and leave it be, the relationship begins to cool off and fade. After some time, without a little care and concern, complacency kills the relationship and the end is nigh.

I do not think that there is ever, the ONE, at least not for me. Just like there is no one perfect BBQ. There is however, times where it comes pretty close, and sometimes, even after the meal ends, the tastes and the memories remain.

Still, that just makes for an even better meal next time, yes?

Women Are To Be Loved...

Not understood. This is my new mantra. Oscar Wilde is a smart man.

Boys, certain things work. Don't ask why. Just know that they do, and use it. Kinda like driving a car from Point A to Point B. You don't have to figure out the physics and chemistry that go into making the engine, like Nike says, Just Do It.

1. Chocolates almost always work. Have an emergency stash of her favourites around at all times.
2. She will shop. Always. Bring a Book.
3. She. Comes. First. The only exceptions are when she says so. This is non-negotiable.
4. When she rants, listen. Offer sayang before you offer solutions.
5. Make her look good on the dance floor, and every man will look at her. Every woman, would look at YOU.

Once I find out other things, I'll put it up.

Ambiguous Question

I have a problem with the "Have you had casual sex in the last 6 months?" question on the blood donation card. I am ALWAYS serious about sex.

Taking A Stand

I voted.

For the first time in 33 years, after bearing arms for the nation, kopi tiam discussions, rants, raves and opinions, bitching and not-an-insignificant amount of apathy, I was up at 8am, and I voted.

It was a simple 3 minute process, and it seems almost... anti-climatic honestly. Nevertheless, the sense of me doing something for myself, and deciding my own fate stayed with me even after I dropped the white slip of paper into the box.

A milestone in nation building? Definitely. It feels like we, as a nation has come to a crossroad. Stay safe, or venture out into the unknown? Now we can truly say, we decide.

We, the citizens of Singapore
Pledge ourselves to be ONE UNITED PEOPLE
REGARDLESS of race, language or religion. 
To build a DEMOCRATIC society.
Based on JUSTICE, and EQUALITY, 
So as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress
FOR OUR NATION.

"CRAB" Service

Now generally, I have no complaints about service in Singapore. Seriously. I'm an easygoing kinda guy, and if I happen to go a few more times to a place, I end up knowing more of the staff by name anyway. Nevertheless, last Friday was like a textbook case of things NOT to do. And so, consider this my public service as a corporate trainer, on a cautionary tale of bad service.

It was a typical muggy night in Singapore. My three friends and I were looking for a place for dinner, and we figured to head to town. Eventually, after some deliberation, we decided on Standing Sushi near Singapore Art Museum. The evening starts off normal. We were shown our seats, our orders taken, and our drinks served.

And here is where things started going downhill. But let's have some positive lessons anyway.


Lesson 1: If the staff forgets an order, let the customer know.

We can all understand that when it comes to busy periods, things get left out. But honestly, if a zi char uncle at a kopitiam can remember table number, special orders, and a million other nitty gritty details, a restaurant that charges 10% service and 7% GST, has an order form, and only 4 tables to serve for the evening should be able to get the orders right the first time.

Nevertheless, if a server has really forgotten orders, basic service recovery dictates service staff to apologize, reassure the customer that the ticket has gone in RIGHT NOW, and how long it will take for the order to be processed. Do not leave a customer hanging. It irritates the hell out of the person, especially if he or she is hungry.

If a customer has to ask three times for the same item, seriously BAD idea, and "coming, coming" is only acceptable in a hawker centre. 

I once remember eating at Pierside Kitchen and Bar where the chef sent complimentary crabcakes because the appetizers would be delayed by ten minutes. That was served to my table 10 minutes after the orders went in. It was at least 4 years ago, but I remember it to this day.

Lesson 2: If the missing dish is not served by the END of the meal, it's too late to serve it by then.

Of course it takes some time for the kitchen to prepare any dish, especially when the order is missed out at the start. But if you have already cleared the table of everyone else at the table, it is generally way too late to serve the dish.

Ask your customer if he or she would still like it served. If not, suck it up. The fault was yours in the first place. And never EVER make it sound like you are doing your customer a favour when you tell them you're not charging them for the dish.

Lesson 3: Even if the fault was not yours, say "I'm Sorry."

And if the fault is yours, all the more, apologize. And whatever the customer demands, do not come across condescending and never EVER use the phrase, "if you want to complain, never mind one, go ahead."

Seriously, the hole is deep enough, you really do not have to dig it any deeper.

Lesson 4: It is NEVER about the money.

It is never about not getting charged for an item not served, nor is it about the $20 for soft shelled crab. It is about making sure that your customers know that you value them. And the higher one charges, the more customers expect. And yes, one massively pissed off customer can do worlds of damage to a restaurant's reputation.

Lesson 5: Arguing with your customer is ALWAYS a bad idea. 

The absolute WORST idea in the entire book, is actually arguing with your customer.

Telling your customer, "You ordered at 8:45 and the time now is 9pm, and your friends have finished for some time, that's not half an hour." then after that going into the kitchen, taking out only ONE ticket for the missing item, waving it in the face of the customer, and smugly going, "see the ticket says 845" is not only calling your customer a liar in his face, being completely biased, and all in all, a really really stupid move.

Even if it was the customer's fault for being demanding, and expecting his food served in five or ten minutes, that is the customer's prerogative. To be arguing about timing after taking orders, serving everyone else at the table, have everyone finish eating both appetizers AND main course, and clearing the table with a hungry customer who's obviously peeved because he is unable to have dinner WITH his friends and would have to eat all by himself if he chose to accept the order, is nothing short of suicidal.

So at the end of the evening, does it really matter then who's right, and who's wrong, or even if they waived the charges for the rice or for anything else. The fact of the matter is that the evening was spoilt by $20, and there is a good chance I shall never, ever eat there again. On top of that, good chance, neither are any of my friends.

And that, my friends is a story of bad service, and the lessons we can take away.

Current Speculations

Outside of work, here are the thoughts that are currently running through my head.

1. You know how it is that success coaches like asking this question, "if you do not have any limit on money and time, what would you do?" How would you change if you removes the limit on youth and time, if you can live forever.

2. To what extent is one willing to go to prolong life before morality kicks in?

3. Do women feel the need to dumb down when they are with guys? Do men feel the need to "macho up" in the presence of attractive women? How are these actions, if there were any, actually perceived by the other parties? 

No thought killer application to shut them down leh...

What Is Love?

What is love, that makes it the simplest, and the most complicated emotion in the world to understand?
What is love, that makes someone go through hell and high water, and be willing to try again?
What is love, that brings two people together and keeps them together even though logic dictates otherwise?
What is love, that make strangers friends, and friends become lovers, while others falter?
What is love, that makes someone choose a football club, a country, a discipline or a sport, or a person over all others?

What is love, that makes a person try, and keep trying, even though his efforts are doomed from the start?
What is love, that it never, ever matters the circumstances where it starts, or who it is, as long the end IS love?
What is love, that makes one dream more significant than all the others, and we burn our lives chasing it and count it well spent?
What is love, that makes us find beauty in ordinary things, and the holding of two hands the most intimate of human contact?
What is love, that pushes two people to dedicate their lives into a commitment to each other?
What is love, that makes it the root of the most painful and most pleasurable feelings in the human vocabulary and experience?
What is love, that makes all the analysis of a relationship, all the articles and research written on it, redundant?

What is love, that for all the qualities one can name for another that you like, none of them are the reason why you love them?
What is love, that for all the restlessness and need in the human soul, one can finally put down his burden and go, "I am home", even if for a moment?

What is love, that for all the rules in the world that one sets for oneself, eventually there is only one. The heart wants what the heart wants. End of story.

All I know now, after 32 years, is that I have no answers.
All I know, is that it is exceedingly rare, heart-stoppingly beautiful and precious.
All I know, is that love has no reason, and that as long as it exists, no matter how torn and battered it might be, give it every single opportunity to thrive and grow. And if it is already dead, then nothing one can do can bring it back to life.

For those of you who have a special someone, I envy you. I read a quote once, that the only time in life when you have problems is when you're dead. Such is love. The day you have no more trouble from love, is the day that love is dead.

I would take all the issues, baggage, fights, quarrels, pain, anger and tribulation, for that one chance to love and be loved. And if you have it or a chance at it, dear reader. Treasure it. Guard it with your life. Don't let pride, anger, history, self doubt, jealousy, or the mundaneness of everyday life kill it. At the same time, if it is not there, let go. But after you have tried every. single. thing.

And if ever you or your significant other forget, refer him or her to me. I'll set ya'll straight in a jiffy.

Alone Again, Naturally.

I am happy for the both of you. It is easier to be angry, to rant, and to jump and walk away. Anger is a much simpler solution. But I cannot. It feels right, even to me. The conviction, the openness, I would have given anything and everything for it to be for me. But hey, Good Luck Ed eh?

I envy those with a special someone. I read somewhere that the only time when you have no more trouble in your life, is when you die. Well, guess what, same thing with relationships. And I'll trade every quarrel, every fight, every irritation and rant to have that special someone in my life. So those of you who do, appreciate him or her. If your significant other doesn't appreciate you, send them my way.

Humour is my shield. It's just easier on everyone, and the devil-may-care sometimes funny extroverted clown is a familiar role. Because really, how many people care enough to listen, and understand?

As for opening my heart, well... heh. I don't think I have ever loved someone quite as much. Or saw so much of myself in someone. I don't think I will, for a long, long time to come.

It's time to go back to being alone again. Oh I'll be fine. I'll feel sorry for myself and be lonely on my own time rather than burden those around me with it. Permit me one night to grief. One night to let it all hang loose and be sad and sorry for myself. One night where I wrap my loneliness around me and cry my heart out.

I wish you both the best from the bottom of my heart. Really and truly. I know everything will work out for the both of you. Now wish me back, as empty as it would sound to me right now, that maybe there really is someone out there for me and that I'll find her before long.