Why is it that in society, we are so starved to have someone listen to us, that we actually have to pay someone hundreds of dollars to sit and listen? Is it really that hard?
I am reminded that one of the best compliment that someone can pay another is to really listen. Suspend your thoughts and preconceptions, look into the person's eyes, and open your heart and mind to what the other person is attempting to communicate. No interruptions but for clarifying, validating and encouraging.
When was the last time anyone actually did something like that for you? When was the last time you did that for someone?
In this age of instant communication, a lot of information gets communicated very quickly, and trees of meaning are too often hidden in the forest of words. I forget also that very often the most effective communicators are the ones that also listen the best.
Showing posts with label Growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Growth. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Welcome Darkness My Dear Friend
The silence between the notes
The space between the seconds
The darkness between the stars
The stillness between one breath and the next
Mostly, in the night when everyone's gone to bed, or in the mornings where a restless mind awakes to find no respite.
Liquid oblivion tastes bitter on the tongue now. Even the good stuff.
So I throw myself into everything else.
I search
For absolution,
Perhaps manifestation of pain.
Perhaps intense self growth and breakthrough.
Fuck emo. Enough whining. Now to get on with life. The world awaits.
The space between the seconds
The darkness between the stars
The stillness between one breath and the next
Mostly, in the night when everyone's gone to bed, or in the mornings where a restless mind awakes to find no respite.
Liquid oblivion tastes bitter on the tongue now. Even the good stuff.
So I throw myself into everything else.
I search
For absolution,
Perhaps manifestation of pain.
Perhaps intense self growth and breakthrough.
Fuck emo. Enough whining. Now to get on with life. The world awaits.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Of Channeling and Growing
Today, I had a conversation with my brother, a cop. He was telling me that the number of suicides and attempted suicides over the years have been on the rise.
The trend just serves to remind me, that every person needs an outlet. And if you keep it all repressed inside, at some time, some where, some how, it's gonna come out. And if you don't find some way to channel that to a constructive use, simply put, you're gonna explode, one way or another.
In a lot of the ways, the social media is mine. One huge ass aspect of me is an absolute extrovert, and sometimes, the real life (and my wallet) cannot keep up with my need to socialize. So I turn to the internet. Mentally, it takes up a lot of creative energy, sops up the excess time, and gives me an outlet for a lot of feelings and expression.
Parties, hanging out, boozing and doing stupid stuff are I guess part of my coping mechanism. A means by which I try to feel better, or at least keep things buried so while my body exhausts itself, my subconscious work out the issues at hand.
But at times, my closet introvert takes over. In the worst times in my life, I have taken to hiding and being alone with my thoughts. It's been a long time since I have had me time.
Recently however, another activity has come up. Exercise.
I don't gym, and I seriously hate swimming. Cold and wet, no like. Warm and wet, hmmmm.......... but I digress. Pushups, crunches, and from last Sunday, runs.
Pushing the edge of the envelop in physical self development is slowly becoming another avenue of channeling inner pain. After all, if it's gonna come out somewhere, might as well make it somewhere useful, right?
Time to get back the fitness of when I was doing martial arts, and dance.
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Since we're on that particular topic, it's strange also that too many of our own lessons in life come only when we are dealing with pain. It seems like to we humans, pain is soul food.
When we're kept nicely insulated, it'll seem like all we're doing is stagnating.
So, now that I'm alone again, and with so much emotion to work through, the time for muscle ache and growth. If I sometimes seem morose and pensive (I just rediscovered this word today), I apologize in advance, construction in progress. Heh.
The trend just serves to remind me, that every person needs an outlet. And if you keep it all repressed inside, at some time, some where, some how, it's gonna come out. And if you don't find some way to channel that to a constructive use, simply put, you're gonna explode, one way or another.
In a lot of the ways, the social media is mine. One huge ass aspect of me is an absolute extrovert, and sometimes, the real life (and my wallet) cannot keep up with my need to socialize. So I turn to the internet. Mentally, it takes up a lot of creative energy, sops up the excess time, and gives me an outlet for a lot of feelings and expression.
Parties, hanging out, boozing and doing stupid stuff are I guess part of my coping mechanism. A means by which I try to feel better, or at least keep things buried so while my body exhausts itself, my subconscious work out the issues at hand.
But at times, my closet introvert takes over. In the worst times in my life, I have taken to hiding and being alone with my thoughts. It's been a long time since I have had me time.
Recently however, another activity has come up. Exercise.
I don't gym, and I seriously hate swimming. Cold and wet, no like. Warm and wet, hmmmm.......... but I digress. Pushups, crunches, and from last Sunday, runs.
Pushing the edge of the envelop in physical self development is slowly becoming another avenue of channeling inner pain. After all, if it's gonna come out somewhere, might as well make it somewhere useful, right?
Time to get back the fitness of when I was doing martial arts, and dance.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Since we're on that particular topic, it's strange also that too many of our own lessons in life come only when we are dealing with pain. It seems like to we humans, pain is soul food.
When we're kept nicely insulated, it'll seem like all we're doing is stagnating.
So, now that I'm alone again, and with so much emotion to work through, the time for muscle ache and growth. If I sometimes seem morose and pensive (I just rediscovered this word today), I apologize in advance, construction in progress. Heh.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Hello Me
In a little under 3 hours, I'll be headed to the airport and bugging out for a week to a place where there is no internet, and my handphone will not work.
Cut off from the outside world, and all forms of communication, it's just me, myself and I. This should get pretty interesting, and I am looking forward to reaquint myself with the man in the mirror, and behind the eyelids.
Here's my thought of the day. When you're off from the things like your work, your interests, your significant other, the people around you, your culture and your worldly possessions, do you still know yourself?
At night, when the eyes close, and you're alone with yourself without distraction and form, who do you see? And more importantly, how do you feel about that person?
This promises to be a very interesting week.
Cut off from the outside world, and all forms of communication, it's just me, myself and I. This should get pretty interesting, and I am looking forward to reaquint myself with the man in the mirror, and behind the eyelids.
Here's my thought of the day. When you're off from the things like your work, your interests, your significant other, the people around you, your culture and your worldly possessions, do you still know yourself?
At night, when the eyes close, and you're alone with yourself without distraction and form, who do you see? And more importantly, how do you feel about that person?
This promises to be a very interesting week.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The God Complex
First things first. Thanks Bev, for introducing me to this concept. Ever since that fateful day in my office, over MSN, I have been using the term incessantly.
First up, What IS the God Complex?
The sum of all human knowledge, Wikipedia, puts it thus,
"A god complex is a colloquial term used to portray a perceived character flaw as if it were a 'psychological complex'. The person who is said to have a 'god complex' can act so arrogantly that he might as well believe he is a god or appointed to act by a god. It is also often called the Messianic complex."
Being practical, I just diagnose the the symptoms: -
a. An overwhelming desire to shoulder all one perceives to be wrong with the world, and thus thinking that it is that person's own responsibility.
b. Thinking that one has the ability to take all that responsibility upon himself (it's the non gender-specific him I'm using. You're not off the hook, ladies.)
c. Feeling damn guilty when the perceived responsibility is not fulfilled.
Sounds familiar?
In the course of 4 years of work, I have come to the conclusion that you can only do something for the someone, IF the other person wants it.
In my books, three time's the charm. I offer once, twice, thrice, if there's no response? I let it be.
Oh, that's not to say I cut myself off. The help's available, but now it's passive. You need, you come to me. If not, well you're on your own.
Do I feel guilty? No. I might feel sorry for you if it was something that can be salvaged with the information I had, but I sure as hell ain't gonna stick my nose where it's not wanted, or cram my help down somebody's throat.
On the flip side, I still have remnants of ego in me. It's still hard for me to open my mouth and ask for help, but I have learnt through MUCH pain, that pride is a fucking expensive commodity to have, and ultimately worthless.
Buying dinners and teh tariks are much, MUCH cheaper. And strangely, in getting my ass kicked and learning, self-awareness and clarity really are kinda liberating.
First up, What IS the God Complex?
The sum of all human knowledge, Wikipedia, puts it thus,
"A god complex is a colloquial term used to portray a perceived character flaw as if it were a 'psychological complex'. The person who is said to have a 'god complex' can act so arrogantly that he might as well believe he is a god or appointed to act by a god. It is also often called the Messianic complex."
Being practical, I just diagnose the the symptoms: -
a. An overwhelming desire to shoulder all one perceives to be wrong with the world, and thus thinking that it is that person's own responsibility.
b. Thinking that one has the ability to take all that responsibility upon himself (it's the non gender-specific him I'm using. You're not off the hook, ladies.)
c. Feeling damn guilty when the perceived responsibility is not fulfilled.
Sounds familiar?
In the course of 4 years of work, I have come to the conclusion that you can only do something for the someone, IF the other person wants it.
In my books, three time's the charm. I offer once, twice, thrice, if there's no response? I let it be.
Oh, that's not to say I cut myself off. The help's available, but now it's passive. You need, you come to me. If not, well you're on your own.
Do I feel guilty? No. I might feel sorry for you if it was something that can be salvaged with the information I had, but I sure as hell ain't gonna stick my nose where it's not wanted, or cram my help down somebody's throat.
On the flip side, I still have remnants of ego in me. It's still hard for me to open my mouth and ask for help, but I have learnt through MUCH pain, that pride is a fucking expensive commodity to have, and ultimately worthless.
Buying dinners and teh tariks are much, MUCH cheaper. And strangely, in getting my ass kicked and learning, self-awareness and clarity really are kinda liberating.
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