Today is a GOOD day.

Today, is a good day.

Today, Blogger decides to go back to normal. I therefore forgive the powers that be, and thank them for letting out of blogging purgatory.

Today is the first day after my reservist. I therefore thank THOSE powers that be, for letting me out of the jungle hell I was in, where I become reaquinted with why I hate cold and wet and why I strongly believe that all mosquitoes should be on the highly endangered animals list. (Can anyone find out if mosquitoes are good for virility?)

Today, I finally slept more than 2 hours. My bed misses me, and communion is sweet, wonderful and too short. I thank the powers that be, for the unconditional acceptance of my bloster, my pillow, and my blanket. Wilderness camping is over rated.

Today, I can tell the world, I have seen my first wild boar, and concluded that a Steve Irwin impression is enough to freak any animal out.

Today, I see a herd of chicken. I shit you not. It is a herd. There's no other word for a group of chicken walking along and grazing along the grass patch in all the slow regal-ness of the wilderbeasts of the serengeti. I give you... A herd of chicken.

Running on Fumes

Slept less than 3 hours every day since last Sunday.

Crunch time at work.

Learning the ropes at moderating for websites.

Packing for field camp.

Stupid overly-enthusiastic commanders who make excuses better than they actually command.

I am this close to snapping.

Lousy Timing

So I'm back in camp again. And it cannot come at a worse time. When I actually have legitimate work to do, and I actually LIKE doing it, it has to be that I have to go back and waste time pretending to be soldiers.

Biceps hurt, and I have to cross the WHOLE of Singapore to reach my camp.

And I still gotta do IPPT tomorrow.

Brilliant. Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant.

Gahhh... Blogspot malfunctioned again. Interface looks like shite, but at least I can still post a couple of Myanmar picture.

Taken from Sakura Towers.

Koh Win Kyar should be happy. He's famous now, he's on my blog.

The ladies are happy cos I was paying dinner. Heh.

And this is the Queen of the Universe, Norah-Anne. It's true.

I like my new camera phone even though this conclusively proves I look bad in pictures.

Because I was Told I can

Lifted this from my friend Jelin's blog.

"About 6 months ago, I joined a gym. Every morning, there is one personal trainer there that works out at the same time that my little group does our workout. He does his "routine" with such a quiet determination that he makes it all look very easy; although I know all too well how hard he is working. When I am tempted to whine and quit, I watch him push himself to his own limits, and I find myself motivated to work as hard and without complaint.

"A couple of weeks ago, I was watching him do chin ups. He made them look effortless. I broke away from my group and asked him if I could try a chin up. I had never tried before, but he just made it look so easy. He eagerly stepped aside and encouraged me to step up to the bar. I pulled myself up without thinking...once...then twice. That was all I had in me, I had no strength left. I told him that was all I had, so he stepped up behind me and pushed me up for a third and fourth "pull." It felt so good. I felt strong and I smiled from ear to ear.

"The next day when I was done my workout, I asked him to spot me again. Again, I did two. Again on day three and so on. I thought it was pathetic that I could only do two, but when I came to the gym at the end of the week, he was standing there just shaking his head. When I asked him what was up, he said he was impressed with my chin ups. He told me that when they are training firefighters, the men are required to do 5 chin ups, and women are required to do 1 or 2. He explained that most people can't do them at all, and that he was impressed that I could. He further told me that if I practiced every day, I would be doing 5 or 6 in no time. At this point I should probably add that I am 50 years old...and female.

"The moral of this story...because I didn't know any better, because he told me I could, I saw no reason to doubt. I just jumped in and gave it a try - and I did it! I didn't see it as a great accomplishment, because I didn't realize that it was difficult and it became my goal to get stronger. No one told me I couldn't do it, in fact, I was encouraged to try. Had he told me initially how difficult it was, I more than likely would not have tried at all. Or I might have tried, but given it only half an effort, because failure would have been the expectation. I applaud him for letting me believe that for me, it was not only a possibility, but that success was a realistic expectation.

"How many times have we decided not to try at all because we were told that we couldn't, that we shouldn't, that we had expectations that were too ambitious? How many times have we told our children, our friends and our co-workers that they couldn't do something; that their ideas were impossible or beyond reach? How many times have we told ourselves that we would fail before we even started?

"I started to ponder examples that I had witnessed and this came to mind...I recalled a conversation a friend of mine had with his daughter just prior to her heading off to university. He spoke to her (with good intentions) of how hard she would have to work in order to succeed. University wasn't like High School - this was the real world and now she would have to grow up. This child quit after two years. Another friend spoke to her daughter of the adventure she was embarking on and how proud she was. I remember how we laughed because the mother already had her outfit picked out for convocation day! This child just graduated with her degree in physiology. Looking back, neither daughter was more intelligent than the other. Was it the silent expectations (or lack thereof) that predicted the outcome?

"I have a new approach now. I have experienced first hand how good it feels to rush in so innocently. To believe that we CAN do it and go on to accomplish exactly what we set out to do, because no one told us we couldn't. I've learned how important it is to support others (and ourselves) in our endeavors and to let them know that we believe they can do it rather than telling them we think that they can't.

"I personally want to be like my trainer; standing there behind the people that I love, encouraging them, believing in them and being ready to catch them when they get tired. I will be the one that is there on the second and third day making sure they try again, because I know they CAN.

"What a powerful lesson this has been for me. I'll be doing "5" in no time at all. Because I was told I CAN.

- Jan Graham ^-^

Mingalabar

Wassup folks, just realized that Myanmar hasn't blocked Blogger. Yet.

Anyways, it's roasting here. and I'm probably gonna be back on Tuesday afternoon. Down one for me over the weekend, and your favourite alcoholic will be back real soon. Provided I don't get put in front of the firing squad for showing the people here how to access porn.

Later, y'all.

More Notes to Life

Waxing is addictive. Regrowth might be a bitch, but there's something to be said about baby smooth.

Unless of course you're hairy by nature. Then it's a clearing in the middle of a forest. Come to think of it, in a case like that, where does the wax start or end? Hmmm... things to ponder over a lunch of Char Kway Teow or a breakfast of Bee Hoon.

"God is with you. But just in case, have your pistol ready."
- Rgue Warrior: Holy Terror. Richard Marcinko

The Date Rape Song

And you wonder why they say that folks in the past have more meaning to their songs.

Cut to Real Life

Been feeling a tad emo for the week past.

Damn you, A.I! It's a bloody depressing movie.

Damn you Haley Joel Osmond! Don't look so cute, now that you're grown up eh? HAH!

Right, the rant is over. The moment of emo-ness has past.

An Environmental Note

Every little bit counts.

And for every plastic bag you do not use, it's one less that'll go into the landfill.

Just like straws.

Love? A Disease??

I don't know who does this kind of research, but for those of you who are considering the meaning of love.

Take a look at this.

Hums Huang Shu Jun's The Epedemic of Love

The Burden of Money

How many of y'all have said, "If only I had a million bucks, I would be so happy." at least ONCE in your lives?

How many of you have said, I wish I can do what I want to do, when I want to.

Remember the old axiom, "Be careful what you wish for, cos you just might get it". And when you DO get it, you might end up realizing you don't want it.

So what ARE you going to do, when it's all said and done? Travel? Charity? And then what?

Loads of us want to get out of the rat race. Make enough money, retire young. Don't bother with the grind of every day life any more.

But retiring is a scary thought, because you are left with a void. After you retire, you are going to be faced with the BIG QUESTION.

What are you suppose to do with your life? What is your purpose, your calling?

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSE TO DO?

When faced with a question like that, let's see what happens.

Go to any old folks' home, and you'll see folks who have money, and the time, but don't know what to do with either. They are waiting to die.

Look at the spoilt rich kids who don't have to work for money. They get into sex, drugs and depression, even though they have nothing to be depressed about.

What about the people who strike lottery? Most of them self-destruct.

That is the burden that money gives to a person.

Money gives freedom. and freedom, comes at a price. The price is self-awareness, and purpose. Don't pay the price, and YOU will chain yourself down without anyone else going at it.

What would you do if someone gave you a million dollars, my friend? Would you take it, and face up to the really big questions?

Of the Past

Thanks Kamil for this quote, and for letting me get a new appreciation of this country that I live in.

Our past has a tendency to haunt us. Our choices can trap us or enable us to move on in life. Time plays tricks with our memories, sometimes making them better than they actually were. Ultimately, the only path is forward. Change is the only constant.

- Jeffrey Tan. Ballet Under the Stars

Sometimes it takes another from outside to tell you how blessed you are, and how much there is to give thanks for.

Another Song I Love

This is one from Beyond. 海阔天空.

Thanks baby, for getting me the lyrics and the pronunciation in Cantonese. No I haven't memorized EVERYTHING yet.

Where are the Damn Pink Elephants?

Don't think of pink elephants. In fact, do NOT imagine them dancing on a high rope, holding onto an umbrella, doing death-defying pirouettes on their tippy-tip toes.

Nearly impossible now, isn't it?

A moment ago, the thought didn't even occur to you, but now, it's sitting on your mind, as unshakable as about 2 tons of elephant.

This interesting little short circuit in the human mind is apparent in many aspects of life, and first introduced to me, when I was learning how to bike in the army.

The more I focused on NOT crashing and NOT hitting a particular orange traffic cone, the more I did it. I would stare at the pylon I'm trying not to hit, and tell myself move, move, move, and then the next thing I knew, I was flying through the air. Again. In fact, I did it so many times, I was nicknamed Jackie Chan.

It was those times, I truly appreciated six years of being a sandbag in Judo class.

Draw a parallel to other aspects of life. The more we try not to do something it seems, the more we end up getting tempted. You start your day stubbing your toe, knocking your head, and your whole day goes from bad to worse because you're trying to avoid things happening to you. Don't miss the bus... Missed it. Don't get scolded, got it. Don't rain... you guessed it.

The only time I finally managed to do SOMETHING right, was when I got distracted from trying not to do the wrong thing. I wrenched my attention from NOT doing something wrong, to doing something right. Over and over again.

Worked a lot better, and the army mechanics breathed a sigh of relief on not having to keep replacing banged-up rear-view mirrors, and busted fuel lines.

Now, I have realized that there is a seriously thin line between the world of reality and thought. If you try NOT to think of pink elephants often enough, you'll probably realize that a lot of 4-legged Proboscidea (ie. big-assed animels with huge teeth) have taken a rather delicate rose hue.

Instead, focus on other things. Green fairies, singing mice on the talented wildlife front. And on the every day life aspect, think about the things that you want happen, and be as clear defining those things as you would defining the things you don't want.

This little shift might just cause rather interesting things to happen.

Unlimited Bubble Wrap

Hands up all those who love popping bubble wrap.

Here is unlimited supply of the stuff. Courtesy of modern Technology.

Be grateful. Be very grateful.

A Footnote

"Because nothing makes love and life matter more than the knowledge that some day it must end"

- Drinking Midnight Wine, Simon R. Green

And they say that deadlines don't make people work better. Heh.

So Quoth I, On Men and Women...

Was helping a friend out, finding quotes for her presentation when I came across this.

"A man who will not lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings” - Olin Miller

“A man is given the choice between loving women and understanding them” - Ninon de Lenclos

So true... So true. But this one from Henry Kissinger takes the cake.

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.”

Maybe the only reason why men and women fight is so that they can make out *ahem* up.

Curing Pain With Light

Never liked any kind of painkillers, and so I have always been looking at alternative kinds of pain-relieving agents, or other methods of pain relief.

This might help those of you who are suffering from chronic pain, or don't want to be reliant on pain medicine. AND give you more reason to go down to the beach. Heh!

Relieving Pain with Sunlight.

The 100 Million-Year Old Virgin

There's probably a reason why they're so bad-tempered and ugly.

But what's the point of living so long? What they should REALLY evolve, is a set of genitals and get on the bandwagon.

To Whoever It Concerns

I remember hearing this once.

"I reject your reality and replace it with my own!"

Thank you, whoever you are, for gifting me with this battle-cry.

And now, I Present To you...

Love it when songs make the crossover from one isntrument to the next. Last time, it was Paganini's 5th.

Today, I have the pleasure of bringing you... Vivaldi's Summer.



And if you haven't noticed, the GUY, is using a pick. Not for everything, but still...

Be Nice. Why?

Now I got this from something I was reading, "The Power of Ethical Obligation", by Robert Ringer.

"In one study, researcher Dennis Regan had two individuals try to sell raffle tickets to unsuspecting workers. One individual made a conscientious effort to befriend the workers before attempting to sell any tickets.

The other individual made a point of being rude and obnoxious around the workers. While on a break, the individual who had previously been rude to his prospects bought them drinks before trying to get them to buy tickets.

The results of the study showed that the rude individual actually sold twice as many raffle tickets, even though the other had been so much nicer and more likable. "

Now WHY is this the case? Aren't we always taught to be nice to people? So WHY does the asshole perform better?

Remember the commercial where the hubby is really nice to his wife? The one where he said he puts his TV on record and lets her watch Anthony Bourdain, dances with her, and as a last straw, offer to do the dishes.

What happens?

Wife runs off to the mother and goes "Mommy, he's cheating on me!" One wonders why that's the case.

I mean, sure, us modern boys have always been taught to be nice to girls. The fairer sex, protect the women, we're told. But seriously, do women REALLY want good boys? Sure, many of my female friends say. But we all know that women rarely mean what they say, and they almost never say what they mean.

I seriously doubt they are about to start now.

Just You Try and Stop Me

Taking the words of the President's Address in the movie "Independence Day",

We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on!
We're going to survive!

Faith and hope is easy when there is nothing standing in your way, and life's just plain sailing. Actually in those times, you don't really need faith and hope, do you? About as much use as a solar-powered torch.

Nope, it's only it times of trial, in times where everyone around you gives you shit, and tell you it cannot be done, that you're just not good enough, or not smart enough, or why bother. When the people you love try to "protect" you from being hurt, or disappointed, or feel uncomfortable. Times like this, keep the hope burning, keep the faith alive, and hold your dream close to your heart.

Don't expect the people around you to understand, because after all, this is your life, your hope, your dream, your faith. Maybe you'd end up not reaching your dream. Maybe. Maybe you will.

I read somewhere that in a fight, you're going to get hurt.

That is a given.

So instead of cringing, and being afraid of when you're going to get hurt, accept it. When you are relieved of that fear of getting hurt, can you actually advance. Tuck your chin in, take the shot, and then use the pain to drive you onward and forward, and then to win. Chances are, you are gonna get hurt a lot less than when you are cringing in the first place.

On the flip side, it could be that you're just too stupid to know when to give up. Hey, that's not bad too. Ever wondered why the people who actually change the world aren't the really smart ones?

PS. I realized the fun in table-banging in negotiations. I might be back in Singapore now, but if those FOOLS are going to screw up my deals with their dirty lil money grubbing paws and short-sighted greed, I will personally go up north, with all my tact and gentle bed-side manner, ream them ALL a new arsehole. Or 2.

Observations

Back in Singapore and swamped with work. Strangely, I feel good, to be busy again. Damn right, 3 hour sleeps and hardly any free time. Shiok.

It is official, I am masochistic.

A frivolous post.

Ever experienced a sunrise on a plane before? It's kinda strange. Look out the window on one side, and it's a field of pure liquid gold. The other, 3 shades of cool blue. I wonder what the pilot sees, and if there ever is a boundary between the two. It's kinda strange, to be in a plane, balanced between night, and day.

Why is it that we get life vests in a plane? Wouldn't it make more sense to get parachutes instead? When was the last time you actually saw a plane crash into the sea and survive? I read somewhere that hitting water at more than 100 feet, is the same as hitting concrete. Maybe we'll bounce if we all sit on the life raft and jump out with it.

One last thing. Why must the window shades be up? I mean they're just fine down aren't they? Do we really need to stare out at the ground coming at us at 100 meters per minute? Show us our possibly impending doom so that we'll be extra nice to the pilots for doing their jobs?

If the plane doesn't land properly, you'd know it. Not that there's anything you can do about it. OK, maybe an extra minute of prayer time.

If the plane does land properly, then why the FUCK do you have to disturb my sleep and not let me get back to sleep, for the sun glaring into my eyes?

Thank God I didn't pass my SQ interviews.

Interlude

I cannot frigging believe this.

Right now I am in Bangkok, doing another pseudo Amazing Race back to Singapore.

What. The. Fuck.

Flights to fucking everywhere in the world to every part of fucking Asia and the rest of the world, and not one, to Singapore. Not ONE! The last one left at 8 from Tiger Airways, and now I have a lovely 8 hours to perfect my impression of a homeless person.

It is official. The Thais hate us.

That being said, the new airport terminal looks almost exactly like terminal 2. Loads of glass and steel and no concrete. Guess we're not the only ones short of construction material. :P

Pictures when I finally touch down and take a shower.

Goodbye Yangon. Hello Amazing Race Asia 2!

PS. There are some truly good looking women here. Guess Thai curry isn't the only thing that's hot in this country. Let's go see if yours truly can go spread some love around and improve international relations. ;)

Last Words

A quick one, before I head off to Myanmar again. It is unfinished, and when I come back I will polish this further.

I didn't really want to go to church today. Maybe it's cos I am tired from going on Friday and Saturday, or maybe I just wanted some time alone with my thoughts before I headed off. Whatever the case may be, I went anyway.

At the end of the sermon, I was actually glad I went. Nope, no sudden flash of faith, or rapture, or spiritual enlightenment. More an affirmation, a lesson rammed home.

That sometimes, we may have an overwhelming desire for something, or we have a dream we keep close to our hearts. It might be strange, far-out and honestly given the current circumstance, well-nigh impossible.

So?

Take that first step, be brave and don't procrastinate. Others may give you a thousand and one really good reasons why it cannot be done. People around you who care for you, don't want you to be disappointed, or to face the pain of failure. They want you comfortable, protected from all the stress, strain, pain and disappointments that might happen to you.

They are not wrong. But at the same time that you are insulated from life, you end up not living.
It is in the same strain, pain and tribulation, and in the RISK of failure that we do our best work. It's in uncertainty and trials that we truly shine.

Perhaps, the power and value of dreams and hope lie not in the eventual fulfilment, but rather in the way it influences our journey to that goal.

What Would People Say?

This I got from an article by Robert Ringer. It is the self-eulogy of a man called Harry Browne, an author and a TV talkshow host.

Setting Your Sights

As I look back over my life, I can see so many ways in which I could have done things better than I did, and I certainly wish I'd learned a lot of things sooner than I did.

And yet I have enjoyed a wonderful life. I'm married to the ideal woman. I have had the good fortune to be associated in business with highly competent, honest, compatible people. I've had a book that was #1 on the best-seller list, and others that sold well above average. I've had first-class friends in many different areas of my life. I've been able to live in three countries and enjoy the best the world has to offer. I was honored to be the Presidential candidate of the Libertarian Party.

To have made so many mistakes, and yet to have had so much. It proves that you don't have to be perfect to succeed.

When I die (if ever), I'd like the epitaph on my tombstone to read:

"I didn't do everything I wanted to do,I didn't become everything I wanted to be,But because I aimed for the stars,I reached the top of the world."

I don't advise being careless or sloppy. I do advise that you hold fast to your beliefs and act in the best way you know how--but then forgive yourself whenever you fail to measure up to your standards.

You will never be perfect. But you can be free and happy.

I hope you make it.

~Harry Browne

So what's your life gonna be like, and how will it be reflected in your funeral?

New Spin on an Old Story

Talk about consensual sex. I wonder what kinda world it'll be if everything was this clear. Be careful what you wish for when you ask for more clarity eh?



And that, endeth today's class on safe sex.

Hello Me

In a little under 3 hours, I'll be headed to the airport and bugging out for a week to a place where there is no internet, and my handphone will not work.

Cut off from the outside world, and all forms of communication, it's just me, myself and I. This should get pretty interesting, and I am looking forward to reaquint myself with the man in the mirror, and behind the eyelids.

Here's my thought of the day. When you're off from the things like your work, your interests, your significant other, the people around you, your culture and your worldly possessions, do you still know yourself?

At night, when the eyes close, and you're alone with yourself without distraction and form, who do you see? And more importantly, how do you feel about that person?

This promises to be a very interesting week.

WTF!

Why is the post that I put in THIS MORNING not on my blog yet?!!!?! 5 FUCKING HOURS!

I want my old blogger back! WAHHHHH!!!

And now, back to your regularly scheduled, moderately intellectual program.

The 4 Kinds of People

From a book by Timothy Zahn,

There are 4 types of people in the world.

He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not.
He is a fool. Shun him

He who knows not, and knows that he knows not.
He is simple. Teach him.

He who knows, and knows not that he knows.
He is asleep. Wake him.

He who knows, and knows that he knows.
He is wise. Follow him.

So which are you?

The God Complex

First things first. Thanks Bev, for introducing me to this concept. Ever since that fateful day in my office, over MSN, I have been using the term incessantly.

First up, What IS the God Complex?

The sum of all human knowledge, Wikipedia, puts it thus,

"A god complex is a colloquial term used to portray a perceived character flaw as if it were a 'psychological complex'. The person who is said to have a 'god complex' can act so arrogantly that he might as well believe he is a god or appointed to act by a god. It is also often called the Messianic complex."

Being practical, I just diagnose the the symptoms: -

a. An overwhelming desire to shoulder all one perceives to be wrong with the world, and thus thinking that it is that person's own responsibility.

b. Thinking that one has the ability to take all that responsibility upon himself (it's the non gender-specific him I'm using. You're not off the hook, ladies.)

c. Feeling damn guilty when the perceived responsibility is not fulfilled.

Sounds familiar?

In the course of 4 years of work, I have come to the conclusion that you can only do something for the someone, IF the other person wants it.

In my books, three time's the charm. I offer once, twice, thrice, if there's no response? I let it be.

Oh, that's not to say I cut myself off. The help's available, but now it's passive. You need, you come to me. If not, well you're on your own.

Do I feel guilty? No. I might feel sorry for you if it was something that can be salvaged with the information I had, but I sure as hell ain't gonna stick my nose where it's not wanted, or cram my help down somebody's throat.

On the flip side, I still have remnants of ego in me. It's still hard for me to open my mouth and ask for help, but I have learnt through MUCH pain, that pride is a fucking expensive commodity to have, and ultimately worthless.

Buying dinners and teh tariks are much, MUCH cheaper. And strangely, in getting my ass kicked and learning, self-awareness and clarity really are kinda liberating.

Photo Quirks

Every year, my family gets together and takes a picture that goes onto the wall of my grandmother's place.

Every single year, I ask the same 2 questions.

Really, guys. These are digital cameras. Why do we need 6 cameras for just ONE shot? I mean, really. Last time, when the cameras used film and Kodak owned half the world,I can understand. If everyone wants a copy, EMAIL dammit!

And the other question is, does it REALLY matter which camera you're looking at first? I seriously seriously doubt when you look at the photo, eyeball deflections of 0.23125 degrees will be noticed. You know what, just for the heck of it, I'll look at the camera on the left, while the one on the right goes off. That'll REALLY screw with the picture. HAH!

That aside, it's pretty good to see the rest of the family. That, and oh the food, the food!

What's Love Gotta Do With It

Welcome to the season of hearts, flowers and everything pink and fluffy.

Bah humbug.

Truth be told, Valentine's has never been easy for me.

When I have somebody, it's the stress of getting a Valentine's day present, and then stressing on dinner reservations, and then wondering if I'm actually gonna be able to survive the rest of the month after splurging.

When I don't, it's one of the rare times in a year that I actually feel lonely.

Anyways, here are some things that I wonder about this whole Valentine's Day thing:

1. Why are GUYS the ones that have to do everything?
Here, ladies. You try planning everything and have the entire retail industry gang up on ya while you're trying to make your man smile, and let's see how YOU like it.

2. However much the gal says "there's no need for flowers", she's not gonna say no to them.
Know how boys have pissing competitions? This might be the one time a year, where the ladies go "mine's bigger than yours. HA!"

3. Now exactly HOW many good ideas do you have?
Think about it. How often do you have to come up with something unique? Birthdays, Christmas, yearly anniversaries, monthly anniversaries, Valentine's, A random pampering out of the blue... Presents, flowers, food places, activities.

Unless he or she's a professional party planner, how long before any normal man, woman or child runs out of good ideas? (David Tuttera is gay btw, and he's got an entire team to back him up. Ask the executive director of HIS show if he ever misses his boyfriend's birthday.

4. Escalating expectations
Let's face it. Men are not only easily satisfied, the majority of us take the BBQ mentality to a relationship. In other words, it's a big ass burn at the start, settling into a slow, consistent grill.

Women, on the other hand, take the forest-fire mentality. Start with a spark, and then it gradually develops over time, bigger and bigger till the entire forest's consumed. Give in to her every whim and pleasure, and chances are, it won't be long before you have to pull a Bruce Almighty, and actually bring the moon down from the sky.

5. Too much of a good thing.
The Chinese have a saying, "Shark's fin every day, and you'll get bored." Let's face it. Humans are a forgetful, ungrateful lot. Never changed from the time of the pharoahs and Isrealites, not gonna change now. Men AND women often don't learn the value of something until it's gone.

Remember and celebrate all the holidays and sooner or later, you're gonna get bored of it. In my words to a friend, it's called "spoiling your own market". Go figure.

-------------------

And yet, in spite of all this, we men, the dumber of the species, would do virtually anything, just to see the one we love, gasp in surprise and smile, if only for an instant. Yeah, we're clueless, silly and often unimaginative.

Our one redeeming quality? That we love you, and I reckon that makes up for a lot of it, eh? So forget the trappings, forget the things that we do or don't, the times we piss each other off, the stupid, dorky presents or the lack thereof, and just focus on that, eh?

Happy Valentine's everyone.

Sometimes We Cry

Long time ago, I heard the title of this song in a bar in Myanmmar, in the company of one local, 5 other interns and a Singaporean archeologist whose greatest joy was shocking other Singaporeans.

I took to it immediately.

First, cos Tom Jones sang it, and Sexbomb was damn hot at the time. I am shallow, so sue me.

And second, cos the song title was meant something to me at the time. Still does.

I made a note on my notebook (the paper kind, Myanmmar bans anybody from bringing handphones and laptops into the country) and when I came back to Singapore, I hunted for it. Took damn long, but when I heard the song in its entirety, it was worth it.

So friends, here it is. Not a chart topper, but one of my favourite songs of all time. Enjoy.

Cybersex

Now you can make that EXTRA connection with your loved ones online. The Sinulator is a vibrator that plugs into your USB port.

I wonder when Nokia is gonna come incorporate this lil baby into its mobile phones, and give you TRUE 3G interaction.

My Secret Spot.

I have an anti-social side.

Right. Now that you stopped laughing your arses off, let me repeat that.

There is a part of me that craves being alone. Somebody told me once that the more extroverted someone is, the more withdrawn that person will be when he or she goes into isolation. That somebody was smack on the money.

Remember the old Enid Blyton novels, where the children will always have a private place they can call their own, where they'll run to whenever they need time out from the rest of the world?

Can't build treehouses in Singapore, and I very much doubt there are any secret caves or deserted buildings. The nearest one is rumoured to be haunted, and in the middle of a barren field. Definitely more Stephen King than Enid Blyton.

Still, I make do. When I was in secondary school, I'd go early to Judo training and I'll explore the school, to find a place where nobody would find me. My own private corner if you will, my bolt hole, where I can go to and not have to entertain anyone, to be alone with my thoughts. Found a couple that even the most amorous of teenage couples won't stumble across.

I found another spot in the JC I went to, and another when I was in the army.

In university, I was caught up with the social life, and I moved to Sengkang. Never really saw the need to have a quiet spot till today.

So I went exploring again. Alone. Still haven't found my spot yet, but I reckon I will. The neighbourhood is long overdue for exploration, and I have a feeling that I may be in need of another sanctuary before long.

In This Corner...

@#$#%&$%$^$%^!!!

I don't wanna change to the new Blogger edition!!!!

I want it my old Blogger back!

WAHHH!!!!!!!

And now that this moment of juvenile tantrum throwing is over, how the hell do I work these damn widgets...

The Origins of Golf

Now THAT'S what golf is all aboot

Epiphany

And NOW we all know why the Internet is invented.

The Definition of Faith

Now faith is the SUBSTANCE of things hoped for, the EVIDENCE of things not seen.

That's all we really need to know about it, really.

Reckon when we were kids, we had an enormous storehouse of faith. Anything's possible, partly cos we don't know better, and partly cos there was so many new and wonderful things.

Question, who's to say that we were wrong when we were children, and that we are more right now, even though we KNOW so much more now?

Magnetic Ribbons

Now Mr. Bush, would you please take a look at this and stop the FUCKING, idiotic war?

The Funky Way to Self-Defence

The new breakthrough in Personal Defense - the i-Taser.

I was gonna say that I was looking forward to the day where it plays MP3s and takes videos as well.

Then I realized that the good folks at Taser International have already anticipated this. Introducing, the Taser-Cam.

The folks at You-Tube are gonna have a field day.

The Lost Art of Conversation

Just for laughs, I decided to run a test on mIRC. Yes, THAT archaic chat program.

Here's the test. I'll go in with a female nickname and let's see what happens to females on the net. The results are not exactly unexpected.

Total private messages in 5 min - 29

Hi and MAYBE an a/s/l - 18
Long, descriptive propsal of the sex acts he likes - 1
Hi, and the equivalent of "wanna fuck?" - 7
Asking for paid sex - 2
Something vaguely resembling the start of a conversation - 1

And immediately this begs the question. Have we forgotten how to talk to people we do not know yet?

I remember when I was a kid, I could go into a playground and even if I didn't talk to somebody, somebody would come and talk to me and 10 minutes later, we're all best buds?

What was it that we did that allowed us to connect so quickly?

Can't be an abundance of conversational topics, all we knew were sweets and toys. Can't be interpersonal skill, only thing I knew about people dynamics at the time was how to ellicit a scream from a girl in 25 seconds or less.

My guess, is a complete lack of self-consciousness and self-preservation, and not caring what the other person thought of me. That, and a lack of pre-conceptions of what the other person is.

Maybe, through knowing too much is getting in the way of converstaion and rapport. Maybe, just maybe, to find the lost art of conversation, we gotta forget what we "think" we know, and just be children again.

The Mine-Mine Mentality

There are some instincts in life we do not grow out of.

Remember when you got yourself a new toy, and you spent all your time playing with it.

Remember how when you spend the most amount of time and energy with the newest toy, and the old ones lie forgotten in the cupboard.

UNTIL, your neighbour pops over to your house one day, and picks up a toy you haven't touch for years. And suddenly, THAT toy, the same one you have not touched or played with for years, become your most TREASURED possession.

"Mine, mine!" you cry. "You can't have it!"

"But you're not playing with it anymore, you don't even like it,"says your neighbour.

"Yeah I do, it's MINE! And you can't have it!" you scream.

Fast forward a few decades and whilst the toys have changed, and the reactions may have grown more subtle, but the essence is still there isn't it?

In relationships, in work, in life even, we seek something, not because we want it, but to deprive others of the chance to have it. The OWNERSHIP of the item becomes more valuable than the item itself.

Don't make sense? Well, that's humans for ya, eh?

And the Verdict Is

Went for my second Brazilian.

Conclusion: Regrowth's a bitch.

The Congruence of Music

This duel from Crossroads (NOT the one with Britney Spears in it) is the one, that apparently spawned an entire generation of guitar players.

Mortals beware.



The surprising thing, is that it's actually inspired from a CLASSICAL violin piece. Paganini's Caprice No. 5. Who says rock is shallow?

To Live or Not To Live

The year started with the death of someone, while not exactly a close friend, but someone I am used to seeing.

I don't know him all that well, don't know his family, his dreams and aspirations, even if he has a girlfriend or his favourite food or type of whiskey.

Even then, the suddenness of his departure hit me bad.

Friday night, I wasn't suppose to club, and for once I kept my promise. But an sms of over indulgence brought me to the old hangout. Banter, banter, jokes, and 5 minutes of bullshit. Leave.

Saturday night, after my cousin's wedding. I was exhausted. "But you gotta come! I'll be leaving Singapore for 2 weeks straight and I won't be clubbing. You MUST!" Fine, fine. I promised myself a hi, bye and then it's off to bed. That's not to be.

It's just as well that none of the party people turned up. The bouncer downstairs broke the news to me. I thought he was shitting me. The cashier confirmed it. Sat there, talking to the 2 of them, while waiting for one more person I relayed the news to.

Bike accident, hit-and-run. Died instantly, and the body flown back in the afternoon.

Shock.

Just as well that nobody else who wanted to party came, cos all the mood's gone.

Funerals are for the living, I always believed. We all remember him in our own ways I reckon. It's good that so many people are affected by his passing, I guess. A testimony that his life touched many of us.

One more person that I have known, and left suddenly. It's not that I knew him well, but he left suddenly. And the emptiness needs time to be filled.

And a reminder that the best way to honour the dead, is to live, and to live well.

May all your dreams be fulfilled but one.

Hacking a 9-V battery

Another inane piece of information that has a one-in-4.5 billion chance of using in every day life.

Incidentally, I do carry around a spare 9V battery.

Remember the Name

I'm not big on Fort Minor, but THIS, shall be my theme song for 2007.



This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

I Hate X'Mas

Don't get me wrong. The season of giving, joy and goodwill is way up on my list of favourite days of the year. It is, in fact, SPECIAL to me. It is the ONE day in the year, Edmund, the chronic alcohol and loud music addict staunchly refuses to club.

No, I don't hate Christmas. I hate X'mas.

I actually get peeved when people use Xmas instead of Christmas. Call me a traditionalist, but I believe that there are some things that should not be sacrificed to the god of expediency and modern efficiency.

Nope, some things are inviolate in my book. Christmas will remain Christmas and the only mixers good whiskey should have, is a dash of warm water or a couple of cubes of ice.

Thus endeth the sermon.

PS. Oh, and Merry Christmas everyone.

PPS. Take time off and remember your loved ones, do something meaningful. Even if it is just before drinking yourself silly.

PPS. The free hugs campaign is GO. City Hall if wet weather, Orchard if not. If you are not sure where I am, CALL ME.

If I was Principal..

Yeah yeah, I know. It's the middle of the frigging school holidays. Bah, humbug.

In any case, here's an idea of what students should be taught in school in lieu of A-Maths, which you don't use, cos you have frigging excel anyway.

Principles of Complaining - Cutting through the red tape and getting your way with rude customer service types in 15 minutes or less.

Management management - Dealing with stupid bosses, and working with brain-dead corporate types.

Speed Reading (Basic/Intermediate/Advanced) - Sifting through half a ton of reporting dross for a grain of relevant information

Small Talk 101 - For all your socializing needs

Basic Flirting - Required syllabus, Small Talk 101. Going beyond lame pick-up lines

What Women Want - Or Unexplained Mysteries. Optional cirriculum. Degree in Advanced Metaphysics and/or PhD in Philosophy good to have.

What Men Want - Or, Alcohol, Sex and full contact sports. NC-16 for violence, explicit content and inappropriate language.

Any other courses or additional modules?

Scent of a Woman

And THIS, gentlemen, is how it is done. Oh, and the dance is pretty good too.

It's My Party - Let 'er Rip, Part Tres!

Not as much as Chin in the auction, but I DID get tips.

Not exactly my good side, and Pink isn't exactly my colour.

Getting into the spirit of things.

Party ON!

All in all a brilliant party, and thank you, ALL of you who made it possible. The people that helped organized it, Funky-T for kicking farking ASS on the decks, and each and every one of you that came.

And for those of you that did NOT make it, you have no excuses next year!

PS. the REALLY interesting pictures (and the NC-18 ones), send $$ to me and I'll think about releasing it.

PPS. Here are the Other Parts to the post.

• The Prelude
• Let 'er Rip, Part I
• Let 'er Rip, Part II

It's my Party - Let 'er Rip, Part Dos!

Borat was at my party. Actually these folks I just met at New Asia the night before.

A Rose, by any other name...

The requisite cake-blowing

What do you mean my speech sucked? You try talking coherently after 15 shots.

And then they decided to auction Chin off.

Jacking up the price.

Bringing the price through the roof

Somehow, it didn't work as well for me.

It's My Party - Let 'er Rip Part Uno!

And then, the guests arrived.

Taking photos with beautiful women - Shirley, Jasmine, Cat, Angela and yours Truly

The price of taking photos with beautiful women

Chin's friends

Puker up, Joyce!

Now how many times must I tell you all, WHISKEY shots. NOT Tequila. Get with the program.

I have grown another head, this one much prettier than my usual one.

When it comes to getting the Party Started. Free flow is ALWAYS good

Jarrod and his lady, Crazy white dude, and his chica.

It's My Party I - Prelude

Well, not exactly, but here are some of the pictures from the crazy ass Fuschia party that marked both Chinfee, and my birthday.

Barf bags ready... Here goes nothing.

Funky-T, Jasmine, Andrew and me (sober)

Chin's friends

Now what EXACTLY is Angela doing to Cat???

Mah Nigga checking out da Decks and da sound.

The Calm before the storm

And then, all of high heaven, hell and everything in between broke loose...

Simple Rules to Live By

I have had this told to me, or overheard in the long hiatus that I have been away from blogging.

Simple truths, but I'm right now at a stage where keeping it simple is probably the best way to go, and the hardest things to do.

1. While you still have the energy, work. And give value to the people around you.
2. In everything that you do, do YOUR best, regardless of the circumstances.
3. Overheard. "I know I can survive anywhere and do anything. Because whatever I do, and I know I can do an EXCELLENT job."
4. Be Yourself.

Simple rules aren't they? I'm sure they fit in between rule #1 and #2347. Now to find where they fit.

In retrospect, after my birthday, I have found that I have changed somewhat over the last year or so. I think I'll have to go back and re-evaluate who I am again. Time for a year-end review?

Patience

The pictures for my birthday will be out soon enough, ladies and gentlemen.

You will see me in a pink dress. There will be pictures of me getting buzzed and happy. Bear with me, while the owner of this blog finds means by which to upload more terrifying moments of that truly memorable night...

Simple rules to live by.

Rule No. 1 to living a happy life : Breathe in.

Rule No. 2: Breathe Out.

Rule No. 2347: Never refuse a mint. Ever.

For The Truly Inane

This is a super time waster.

Warning: Senseless violence and carnage galore

You're INVITED

Right, folks.

This is an open invite. If you have something on Saturday night, CANCEL IT.

My birthday is over, but who cares. I survived another year, and you're alive, and because you're reading my blog, it shows you got brilliant taste.

So, to celebrate that, get you, your kampong and your kampong's kampong down to Cocco Latte, this saturday after the sun goes down. Mark it down, and make it happen!

Date: 25th November 2006
Time: 9pm - LATE
Place: Cocco Latte
Theme: Fuschia

There's free flow, and there's TONS of good stuff happening. My "good" friends have dared me to wear a pink dress. With friends like that, who needs enemies? So, just leave your email address in the comments column, and I'll send that invite to ya in 2 shakes of a lamb's tail.

See ya Sat!

It's a Big Ad

Cutting to the chase. Happy Birthday to ME!

Car X-Games

What. The. Fuck. Impossible, but it's done now.

More Ego Trips

Yours Truly is now the world expert on taking care of wasted folks. Google says so.

The Fun Way to Longevity

Finally, scientists have confirmed what I have known for ages.

I Hate Settling Down

Do you have any idea how many times I heard the phrase settling down over the last month or so? Heck if I had a dollar for every time I hear that, I think that will actually be a viable source of alternative income.

As I approach the big Three-O, various people at various times have asked me to "settle down". Frankly, I think settling down SUCKS.

Rocks and sedimentary deposit settle down. Sea anemone settle down. But if you are not a shell fish, or a mineral, why should you settle down?

Now, here's what I don't think is "settling down". Doing something you love for money is not settling down. Falling in love, marrying that person and making a commitment to spend the rest of your life together is not settling down.

But that's often not the case. Nope, people work cos they need the money, not cos it is something that they love. They're not happy, they're not utterly depressed, they're... OK.

Kinda like when you have a mosquito in the room at night, and instead of waking up, switching on the lights and killing it once and for all, you have it buzzing around you the WHOLE FRIGGING NIGHT and you wake up every day, grumpy and sleepy and bitching about it the rest of the day.

Likewise with love. Marry the person that's alright, that you've been dating for a while. Pressure from the parents, and from society that tells you that you have to get married. Mom wants to hear the patter of little feet, and all that jazz. So you buckle, you settle down with the most convenient person you can live with at that time.

And you wonder why it is that there's so many divorce/adultery cases.

Settling down, to me, is simply death by mediocrasy. But, to each their own. There will be some who are happy just to be content. There will be others who will leave the mosquito alive in the room and grumble about it.

Me? I hate mosquitoes. Period.

Senselessly Making The World a Better Place

My clever, newly-adopted daughter has suggested that we do this during Christmas eve. Clever girl, isn't she?

Now who wanna join me?! Sign up in the comments. Bring your own signs!

(yes yes, I have posted this before, but fuck this is too good to pass up!)

When the Imps Come Out to Play - The Aftermath

And the inevitable happened. Courtesy of One Latin American called Mr. Bacardi.

Proving that I can sleep any time, anywhere. Kwong, being an insomniac is suffering from Sour grapes.

I was resting my eyes... REALLY!

Kwong, the kind man that he is, making sure I have mineral water so as not to wake up with a hangover. The fact that the brand is called Tiger, shows the minerals inside are really good for you.

And that, dear folks, is a wrap. Till next year! Adios Muchachoes!

When the Imps Come Out To Play

And this is what happens when I FINALLY dress up for Halloween's.

Thank you ALL for an outstanding time, even though I can't really remember half the night.

Stephanie and friends first accosted me at Zouk.

Self Portrait, courtesy of Min and friends.

Min and Apple and Friends. Err... is the butcher a guy or a gal ah?

Then it was the bachelor pad of the 3 Amigoes for drinks.

Getting my marching orders from Hell

The Lovely Ladies that accompanied me. Cat on the right has a riding Crop. Any volunteers?

The (not-quite) Adams Family

Insane fun and unholy merry-making at Attica and MoS.

Car Wars

Remember that fiasco between Macs and KFC a few years back? Guess what, it spilled over. Thanks Nicole!

1. BMW started a newspaper ad-campaign

2. Audi replied.

3. The Japanese have a comment in place too.

4. The CEO of Bentley looked at the chicken fight and puts his opinion straight!

Illustrating Sound Waves

Would have loved my physics teacher to illustrate sound waves this way. Nothing like fire to catch a boy's attention.

Look Into My Eyes

When was the last time you looked into someone's eyes?

I mean REALLY looked. Not just a glance, or around the face, but deep into the person's eyes.

Over the last couple of weekends, I am reminded that there is POWER in catching and holding someone's gaze, and the things this one simple act conveyed was tons more than whatever you are attempting to say. So why's nobody doing it?

I reckon, being all new agey, and philosophical, is cos the eyes are the windows to the person's soul. In taking a peep into the other person's inner self, you also offer up a piece of yourself for scrutiny.

There is an intimacy there, that goes beyond just words and normal action. In fact, an intimacy and openness that most folks will probably think that this guy must be really confident to catch my eye and not look away.

That's the metaphysical bit. Most of the time, people just brush it off by saying it's rude to stare and that they're kinda shy about it.

Still, because so many people are NOT doing it or can't bring themselves to do it, it makes someone who can pull it off without looking dodgy different, and maybe a little intriguing. Really useful too, especially in a club with loud music blasting like crazy, and the people on the dance floor's probably not really interested in discussing philosophy and doing 20 questions.

After all, body language is 70% of communication right?

So, excuse me, while I go right now, to grab some lunch, and stare some people in the eye.

Ramblings IV - On Fun and Growth

The last of the ramblings series, at least for now.

Why have we stopped growing?

Why is it that somewhere along the line of growing up, we actually start to fear change and run away from it, instead of embracing change?

Remember when we were younger, we actually craved growth?

Pain is not a factor, and we were not afraid of trying and and trying and trying until we succeed. In fact, the challenge of being frustrated many times before succeeding adds to the desirability of our goals, and whatever was challenging, was somehow, fun.

The euphoria of grasshopper- catching (the bigger and harder the grasshopper, the better. Remember the ones we call the tiger grasshoppers and the locusts?), the sheer joy of outrunning your friends in catching, the pleasure of strange creations made with lego bricks....

Yet right now, a lot of us fear change. It is almost as if we have lost that sense of fun that comes with growth and change, and we end up being complacent. We spend more and more energy ensuring things do NOT change rather than adapting to the changes themselves. We SETTLE down.

We start to value stability and status quo, and when things start to be different from what it is now, we start getting uncomfortable. We do so, to the extent, that only with great amounts of PAIN do we start changing, and every time it

Why is that?

When did change become tedious and scary instead of entertaining and desired?

More importantly, is there a way by which we can get back that sense of fun that comes with change, and is it possible for us to actually enjoy growth?

A conversation with a dear friend came up with this thought. What does it mean to grow old, really? Does it mean that we become more jaded, more tired and more rigid?

Or does growing old mean to be wiser, more accepting of both yourself and the people and world around you, AND have more enthusiasm than ever, simply you have sampled the wealth that life has to offer, and there's so much more to go?

Since change is the only constant in the world, might as well learn to enjoy the ride. After all, what's life without surprises and a generous helping of challenges? Some of it may not be fun, but hey, at least it's not boring.



Personal note: More physically damaging acts of senseless stupidity are done when a person is bored than at any other time under any other circumstance.

The Best Things in Life

from Linda Chia's Blog...

You ask, what can you do? Well... here's a thought.



Changing the world, one hug at a time.

The Perfect World

This thought persistently dominated my waking and sober moments for the past week.

If I could change the world, what would my perfect world be like?

There will scenes of wonder and great beauty. Because it renews the human soul, and we need wonder in our lives.

There will be places of peace, solitude and rest. Because we all need to be alone with our thoughts, and put our burdens aside, if only for a moment.

There will be music. Because that is the language of the soul.

Emotions would be as important as logic, and both can find expression in the world.

There will be understanding, and empathy. And nobody attempts to force their opinion onto others.

Each person is reponsible for themselves and their own actions, and they actually understand that.

There will be occasions of challenge and pain, and trial. Because without these, the human spirit stagnates and dies. And because hope, love and faith grows best, when seeded in these.

Opportunity will abound for those who look hard enough, and those opportunities will blossom, for those who dare to take them, and have the heart to follow through.

There will be much more bad times than good. Only then will we learn to appreciate the good and while learning and growing because of the bad. Actually, they're all good, just a question of definition isn't it?

Nobody can tell the future, and everyone will just have to live each day that way. Because if we do know everything that'll happen, we just get bored, and boredem is paramount to death.

There will also be a WAYYY more sex, and whiskey, and contraceptives will be just a question of mutual agreement, rather than foil wrapped rubber.

Hmm... come to think of it, there really isn't very much I will change about the world as it is right now is there?

Perhaps it's the people, and not the circumstances in the world that makes the world perfect.

And maybe, just maybe, the perfect world is just a thought away. With the exception of the whiskey and the sex of course... heh.

Dolphins are the only other creatures in the world that fuck for fun.

The Latent Superpower Test

Link: The Latent Super Power Test

Size Control You're powers are 77% Mental, 83% Emotional, and 86% Physical!

You can control the size of yourself and have limited control on other things? You can shrink down to teh size of an ant and infiltrate almost anywhere, or grow as large as a building and wrestle with giant monsters. It's not an easy power to have, but there's a lot you can do with it. You can compliment just about any team, being both the tank and the infiltrator; just not at the same time. If you want someone more submissive, try any of these for sidekicks: Elasticity, your own sense of spatial distortion will help them understand their powers. Invulnerability, your abilities will help them understand when it's simply not about shrugging off attacks. If you want someone your equal, try any of these for partners: Laser Eyes, you'd be a team of precise abilities, both offensively and utility. Time Control, seriously, what's better than control over time and space? If you want someone more dominant, try any of these for mentors: Elemental Control, their control over existing matter will help you know how to manipulate the same matter to maximum effect. Gravity Control, their control over weight will help you understand how your control of mass might work best. Avoid Illusions, their alteration of the perception of reality only contests your alteration of reality itself.

Now I wonder if I can do individual body parts... ;)

The Nice Guy Paradox

I was in conversation with a good male friend as he sent me back today and I came upon the crux of the nice guy paradox.

Being the nice guy straight from the start, ESPECIALLY going out of your way to BE nice, imposes an UNSAID, IMPLICIT obligation on the gal to be nice back in return.

And ladies, correct me if I'm wrong, but last I checked, NOBODY likes getting an obligation shoved into their faces, especially if you don't feel like returning it, or have no attraction to the guy right?

Strange, flies at everything that has been told to us by our mothers, and our female friends. But makes a lot of things fall into place, doesn't it?

And quite frankly, as much as attention and actions ARE flattering when taken in small doses, but if there is no "chemistry" or attraction, all this nice guy thing is just plain irritating to the receipient, right?

Ramblings III - On Attraction and Love

Or, Why do I not feel for the one that is good for me?

Strange, but true isn't it? When it comes to relationships, we humans have this absolutely amazing ability to find the ONE person amongst so many, that is completely BAD for us, and then ignoring all else, fall for him or her.

Over the last few months, I have done a fair amount of studying on the subject of attraction.

Here are some of the things that I have realized.

1. Attraction is a gut-level thing. There is NO logic. There will be no explanations and no reasoning out. The brain will get short-circuited and all impulses will be routed directly to the rest of the body.

2. Attraction and love are completely different things. But since attraction is an emotional response in most of us, that makes it as real as any logic, but about 147 times more exciting.

3. Men and women have different attraction triggers. It's obvious what men are attracted to. And women, 9 in 10 women won't tell you what they are attracted to. The remaining 10%probably don't know what their buttons are.

4. I have come to realized that since women are often not physically attracted, much of their attraction lies in the emotion. It is thus impossible to be attractive without creating some kind of emotional response. As such, I'm reviewing my policy of going as far as possible without emotions.

I reckon, attraction, is mostly a cocktail of helpless anticipation, heart-thumping desire, inane curiosity, laced with a generous helping of lust, and garnished with a big-ass dollop of mindfuck.

Then what's this crazy lil thing called love then?

Frankly if ya ask me, I can't put it down in words. We describe love the way it affects us, or by the things that we'll do for the people or things we love. But what is it that makes one person commit the rest of his life on earth to another?

Still, when you do see it, you know it. It's one of those things where pinning it down with words just makes it smaller, and kinda like the blind men with the elephant.

I'll tell you what it is NOT.

1. With love, it won't be happily ever after. It will not mean an end to the shit that happens in your life, or with each other. It just means that you're willing to put up with shit and shovel. Together.

2. Love is almost NEVER about the attributes. The question, "Why you love me ah?" is completely redundant. I mean, seriously, you can tell someone what things you like or don't like about him or her. But if there was someone else RIGHT NOW, with exactly the same attributes, standing in front of you, you reckon you'll change the target of your affections?

3. Leopards don't change their spots. You reckon just cos the person is in a relationship, he'll change? Nope. Not. On. Your. Frigging. Life. Nope... maybe, just MAYBE some minor bad habits might change, but that would be tantamount to a minor miracle. Don't count on it.

As my darling sis once said, it's about accepting that person for who he is, then growing together. Oh, and commitment, cos that's gonna take ya through the tough times. But the reason FOR that commitment, is well... love.

All in all, I reckon for any relationship to really work out, there's gotta be a huge amount of love. A big ass dollop of attraction would really help too.

Out tro *A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down... *

Interlude 2 - Stroke my Ego Baby

Ladies and gents...

I have been plugged and I am now discussed in Hollywood.

About time the rest of the world caught up with me. Heh.

Now, where are my movie offers and book deals?

It is only right that the world recognizes my genius. Better late than never. HAH!

Ramblings Part II - On the Balance of Logic and Emotions

There is a rather prevalent belief out there, that emotions are bad, and logic is good.

Here's what I think.

Bollocks.

Emotions at the end of the day, tell you what is really important to you. Decisions are mostly made according to what is important to us. Why are these things important? They just are.

Someone I really respected said that the beginning of love and hate is the end of logic. True. There is no good reason why we love something, or someone, and not another. Why we are attracted to someone, or something.

Emotions, and feelings in essence, give us DIRECTION, priorities, and meaning.

Logic is a wonderful thing. The way that human logic works, is to justify the things that you have already decided on.

The world as we see it is a reflection of what we "know" to be true. Points of reference that we believe to be "a sure thing". Logic just finds a way to connect those points into a picture, so that at the end of the day, we can comfort ourselves and go, "See? It all makes sense now. It's so LOGICAL I don't understand why you just don't see it."

All in all, there's got to be a balance, as with most things in life.

Where is that fine line where you draw? I don't know. You have to decide yourself. Me? According to an in-depth character analysis, I am 51% feeling, 49% logic. A balance you say?

Possibly. That just means, that instead of having at least one half of the world agree with me, I manage to piss off both halves.

Brilliant I say, abso-fucking-lutely brilliant. Won't have it any other way. Heh

Interlude - 3 Questions

Oh how women lament that all the good men are either taken, gay or dead.

I now ask 3 simple questions. Here ladies, try it yourself, and see why it is that I take a lot of what you actually say out of your mouth with a pinch of salt, and try to figure out what you're REALLY trying to communicate.

Question 1 - What are the 3 MOST IMPORTANT things that you're looking for in a man?

Write it down so you won't cheat.

Question 2 - What are the 3 things you find the MOST ATTRACTIVE in a man?

Write that down too.

Question 3 - Why are these 2 damn lists different ah?

And you ask why you can't find the man you want.