Monday, October 26, 2009

The Paradox Of Being There

I've been told that a boxer in a match probably would suffer less damage overall if he was to get hit by a knockout punch than if he was to go through ten rounds of the meat grinder.

And I started thinking about all the relationships that I have seen come and gone, especially the ones where the relationship was abusive, or just bullshit, and I have always stood by my friends.

Now, I'm wondering if I got it wrong. Whether because of the support, I've extended their pain and in the overall scheme of things, caused them more hurt than did any good for them. They come to me and rant and moan and bitch, and I make them feel better about themselves, and about their situation, and they go back and get themselves hurt worse.

And I ask myself what if I withdrew that support? What if, I walked away and let it all go to hell in a handbasket, then be there to pick up the pieces? Would it be better for the person in question then?

Right now, I'm not sure. Solutions to emotional problems are emotional in nature. It takes something dramatic for the person to want to change. If not, then the person will never change. If he lies, he'd do it again, and again, and again.

The next question is, would me walking away create the emotional impact deliver the knock out punch?

Questions to think about.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Believe in Little Lies

Sometimes lying is necessary.

: Humans need fantasy to *be* human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.
Susan: With tooth fairies? Hogfathers?
Death: Yes. As practice, you have to start out learning to believe the little lies.
Susan: So we can believe the big ones?
Death: Yes. Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing.
Susan: They're not the same at all.
Death: You think so? Then take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder, and sieve it through the finest sieve, and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet, you try to act as if there is some ideal order in the world. As if there is some, some rightness in the universe, by which it may be judged.
Susan: But people have got to believe that, or what's the point?
Death: You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become?

Sunday, October 04, 2009