Monday, March 24, 2008

(Mis)Adventures in KL

Got back to Singapore at 10am on Monday morning. 8 hours overdue. Sans bus tickets. and picked up a bump on my left temple and my partner a busted knee.

Anyways, this is what happened.

Was in KL for the investors and traders convention cos my partner wanted to check out the KL market and the potential over there.

It was a decent trip. And the dramatics started when we were coming back to Singapore.

Act 1, Scene 1 - The bus station at Pudu Raya, 9pm. Sunday Night.

My partner has bought 2 tickets on a delux coach back to Singapore from the Konsortium counter on Saturday afternooon. We wait, at Dock 12 for the bus to come. Among those waiting, are a few indians, a bunch of Secondary school students and a swedish couple.

Act 1, Scene 2 - The bus station at Pudu Raya, 9:15pm. Sunday Night.

A guy comes over and shouts, "Singapore" and a whole bunch of people stand up. Thinking our bus here, we follow the dude downstairs to the bus bay. Bus is not here, we wait for a bit. He then beckons us to follow him. I am completely uninitiated to KL.

My partner says that it's normal since sometimes the bus stops outside instead of coming in. We follow.

Act 1, Scene 3 - Outside the Bus Station, 930pm. Sunday Night.

The guy leads us for 10 minutes before sitting down and tells everyone to pass their tickets to him. He makes a show of checking, then puts everything in his bag. He then gets up and tells us to carry on walking.

Act 2, Scene 1 - Near the beat up bus, 9:30pm, Sunday Night.

We finally reach a shitty bus. A beat up 40 seater. He says that this is our bus that'll be going back to Singapore. My partner demands our tickets back. The guy attempts to walk away.

We chase after him, with all our luggage still in our arms, he threatens us with his walkie talkie, and walks again. We go after him and attempt to stop him. He swings his walkie talkie and my partner chokes him from the back. He takes another swing and I lock his arm.

We told him that we'll let him go if he gives us our tickets back. We let him go, and he takes a swipe at my partner, and breaks into a run. My partner kicks, misses, and falls. His luggage flies.

I run after him, pins him and takes a couple of swipes at him. "Give us our tickets back," he doesn't and whacks my head with his walkie talkie. Twice. I try to throw him to the ground and sit on him. He runs.

Contemplated running after him, but there are people around my partner, and I got worried. Went back and he busted his knee. I help him up and gathered all our luggage back.

Act 2, Scene 2. Near the beat up bus, 10:30pm, Sunday Night.

The bus driver refuses to move because apparently, dodgy muther-fucker was suppose to pay him, and he's not paying yet.

Another half hour, dodgy mutherfucker comes back with another load of people. They get up the bus, and there's still some space in the bus... but with me glaring at him, he must have decided that better get this group of people outta here.

He pays the bus driver and buggers off. Contemplated jumping off the bus to beat the fuck outta him before he heads off. Decides against it because dunno if I'll miss the bus after.

Act 3, Scene 1. 2 hours outside KL. Unknown Rest stop, 1am. Monday Morning

Dodgy bus breaks down, and can't start again. Everyone waits while the driver calls a replacement.

Act 3, Scene 2. 2 hours outside KL. Unknown Rest stop, 3am. Monday Morning.

We are still waiting. Some people have hitched rides on gas trailers and container trucks. We see an empty bus coming by, and Indian dudes approach to negotiate. I am in awe of his negotiation tactics. I take notes even though I am sleep deprived.

Act 3, Scene 3. In the hitched-a-ride bus. 4am. Monday Morning.

We finally get on our way. With us, are the 4 kids, one of the Indian dudes, and a whole bunch of other people, including this really young kid travelling on his own.

Act 4, Scene 1. Larkin Bus Interchange. 7am. Monday Morning.

Reached Larkin, courtesy of the Indian dude. Helped my partner down the steps and into a cab. We take the cab to a place where there's a Comfort cab waiting, in the basement carpark of Plaza Seni.

Apparently this taxi stand has Singapore cabs that can cross the border.

We pay an extra S$35. Worth it, because we were stuck one and a half hours on the Malaysia side of the Causeway, and another half hour on the Singapore side.

And the fare goes all the way to my partner's place. No idea which way the cab driver went, cos I pretty fucking much concussed on the cab.

Act 4, Scene 2. My partner's place. Singapore. 10am, Monday morning

Dropped my partner off, helped him up to his place before driving back. He will go to hospital later on in the day.

Headed home, bathed and went to work.

Lessons Learnt:
1. Only give the bloody ticket to the bloody conductor, AFTER you get on the bus and are seated. (Thanks Jean!)

2. Don't let the dodgy motherfucker go. Beat the SHIT outta him. Then take the money and the tix from him. He rips us off. We mug him. Turnabout's a bitch.

3. It's always good to be on the SAME side as an Indian in negotiation. If you are not, make sure you are.

4. Keep fit. You never know when you have to beat the shit outta somebody.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Age IS an Issue

Nowadays when someone tells me, "You're 30 and you're still hitting the clubs and dancing?"

I tell them yeah. "you young uns got a lot of catching up to do."

And I can still whoop your ass on the dance floor. Booya.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Singapore Boleh!

Another couple of up and coming designer/entrepreneurs.

When is the men's line coming out chuwen! I can do with at least ONE other shirt in my wardrobe that's not something I have worn 26452 times.

Style Damsel
Style Damsel is by chuwen and dzigna and all the designs are their own. Not bad guys, not bad at all. Now where's the man's line???

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Magicians of Basketball

Now some of the younger ones may not have heard this name before. But the Harlem Globetrotters are so good, that they have taken basketball to an art.

Don't believe me? Take a look.

A bit of trivia. On February 27, 2006, the Globetrotters extended their overall record to exactly 22,000 wins.

Their most recent loss came on March 31, 2006 when they went down 87–83 to the NABC College All-Stars to bring their loss tally to just 345—still a winning percentage of 98.4%.

Maybe the Slingers will get someone from that team in next season? Oh and Jean, wanna try out some of the stunts there?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

For Those Of You Who Hate Tele Marketers...

Alice, think about getting one of these.

got this from my Junior's website

For those of you who do not know. You can find out more about the switchblade-wielding, tele marketer-hating, rabbit here.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Changing The World, One Compliment At A Time

I was on the bus the other day, and saw an act of kindness.

The bus driver stopped gently, opened the doors and walked to an old man in the bus.

He then leaned closed and told the gentleman that it's his stop, and proceeded to help him down the bus, taking his time to guide the shaky old man with a walking stick down the steps and into the bus stop before driving off.

It got me thinking. We all know that positive reinforcement works better than negative right?

So why is it that we so are so slow to praise, quick to condemn and expect change fast? Come to think of it, when it comes to trying to get someone to change for the better, we almost NEVER praise.

So in this, I think I'll try a social experiment. I'll encourage things that I'd like to see more of, rather than condemn things I'd like to see less of.

I'll compliment and give praise to what I think is good, rather than hang, draw and quarter what I think is bad.

Let's see what changes. Thank you, driver of SBS 2674 T, for a timely reminder at 1pm on the 6th of March 2008 at the bus stop outside the church at Queen Street.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Kudoes to Another Singaporean Entrepreneur

Congrats XT, on starting your online clothing store!

She carries a really nice line for ladies. Nothing for the men, but hey, she's ALMOST SOLD OUT and it's only the second day. Gives you an idea of how nice her stuff is ya?

No, Edmund will NOT model anything from the store. Yes, even if it's his birthday. We're helping XT, remember guys?

A lot of people talk about starting their own business, but hardly any actually take that step forward. So here's what little I can do, to make your store a success.

So cheers XT, make it happen and congratulations on taking a huge step forward.

PS. Apparently if you quote my blog, you gals can get 10% off. Hey, take the remainder and buy me teh tarik. I don't mind.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

The Male Sixth Sense

It is often complained by the fairer sex that we men are insensitive. That we have the intuition of a large rock, and just about as much fashion sense.

And let's be fair. It's true, most of the time.

However, there's one tiny, little known "sixth sense" in the human male that gets conditionally triggered. This sex sense makes the male hyper sensitive to non-verbal cues.

This, what is coined by yours truly to be, the "someone's-pissing-in-my-territory" instinct, is present in all human beings and particularly apparent in the male because of the lack of sensitivity in nearly all other areas.

We men KNOW when another guy/gal/living thing is interested in our significant other. And when we do, the horns come out, the teeth are bared, and suddenly testosterone fills the air and we're ready to "defend our territory".
And like in women, there are men whose sixth sense is hyper-sensitive. The general rule is, the more insecure the man, the more sensitive that sixth sense. In certain cases, this is so extreme that anything male within a 50m radius triggers territorial instincts.

Wanna see the sex sense in action? Try going to a club any Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, and you can see it in action. Field trip anyone? Heh heh heh