Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Apple Pwns PC. Again

Think CF can empathize on this.

Birthday Wishes.

This is what I want for me birthday....

A Sherlock Holmes Pipe.

OR...

My old hat that I lost last year during my birthday. It's the one year anniversary, and I miss it!


yes, it's a pink dress. Now look at the CAP dammit!

Oh, and I want gratituous, torrid, mindblowing sex with with a really hot woman. I'll settle for 2 out of 3.

Monday, November 19, 2007

What I Learnt From KL

I now realize what they mean when they say that you learn something about yourself when you travel.

My first ever trip to KL taught me... that my friends and I are taboo to convertibles.

Friend's dad a huge collector of cars, so when we stayed over, we couldn't resist trying out all the various cars in his garage.

We first took the Ferarri out for a spin. That ended about 20 minutes later, cos the thermostat blew out and the engine stalled. At least it was a glam car we pushed. HEH.

that's the ferrari we whacked

Later that night, we took the BMW M3 out. The top was down, the wind in our hair, and that lasted till we hit Zouk KL. then, the engine died. Couldn't get it restarted.

The BMW M3. A classic. Till we got our hands on it.


Maybe God was saying, Do not drink and drive.

Looks like I'm staying with cars with tops for now.

Friday, November 16, 2007

We're Off to See the Wizard

Not exactly... but I'm heading down a long asphalt road to KL.

Any recommendations on food to eat, places to go, and people to harress?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Tagged

Tagged by Skye.

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog…

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself…
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs…
4. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Here goes.

1. I wore a sarong to my friend's pre wedding party in Norway because they wanted something to remind them of Singapore.

2. I keep a pet rock with lichen on my window sill, also from Norway.

3. When I was in university, my room-mate and I found a bat at our front door in the morning. We kept it as a pet and named it Bruce.

4. I get freaked out by people putting in and taking out their earrings.

5. It is my strong belief that the next Child's Play sequal will be called "Teletubbies, the Movie".

6. This is the first time I was ever tagged.

7. I have never been to KL in my life. Ever.

The next victims will be... Andy, Peanut Butter Wolf, Oceanic, Nicolekiss, Hostsara, Melbourne Babe, Rachael (since she doesn't have access yet, mommy will have to fill it in for her)

It is finished, and I see that it is good.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

To Those Who Have Gone Before

The best way to remember and honour the people we love who has passed on before us, is to live our own lives to the fullness that they can no longer do.


Cheers, Alvin and Brandon and Yi Shi. Catch ya'll later.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Gimme One Reason to Stay Here, Part II

or, How to get women to make the first move.

Following on from here.
It would be nice won't it? Getting women to do the work for once. Here's a few ways I think will work.

1. Extensive plastic surgery, and serious waxing. Because no matter how much women deny it and want to believe that looks do NOT matter, and they are not shallow, it's BS. Looks do matter, and women are shallow. Sometimes.

From this.... to this.

2. Have a million dollars to blow. Pick up the tab, take her shopping at places where you can't pronounce the name. You're likely to be teased, flirted with, and even possibly kissed.

Chances are, you'll also go back with nothing more than blue balls. Said balls are also likely to shrink when you get your credit card bill at the end of the month.

Why are cows angry all the time?

See how you'd feel if you get your tits worked all the time and not get any.

Now for those of us who are not related to the Sultan of Brunei in any way, we might just have to settle for the other ways stated below.

3. Dress well. Let's face it. Humans like looking at pretty things. If you're not convinced that women are as shallow as men, look at the way they drool over completely inane things like bags, shoes, jewellery, the artist known as Rain...

That means you pay SOME attention to your dressing. A clean shirt, pressed pants, brush your teeth, and comb your hair. Oh, and cut your fingernails. Neantherdal charm is overrated.

And since womenkind has a tendancy to read wayyyyy too much into things, take a page out of their playing books. A friend told me once, that the reason why he goes for manicures is because, "It looks good, gives me something to talk to the gals about, and it doesn't give them a nasty scratch when I finger them run my hands over their back."

4. Eye Contact. When talking to a woman, look at her eyes. NOT her tits. Paying attention is subtle flattery as well as not-so-common courtesy. It is a lot harder when there are more interesting bits of course. You can have your fill later.

If a REALLY hot chick walks past, you are allowed to glance. After which, it goes back to the woman you're talking to. Do what you want AFTER you excuse yourself to go to the gents.

The front gun of the Apache Attack Helicoptor is said to follow the eye movement of the pilot.

There is now a dress code in most US air bases.

5. Be confident. Even if you are not, pretend to be, but do not over-compensate. Money, fast cars, snappy dressing don't make a man confident. It enhances confidence. If you have it, you have it. If you don't, go get it.

Nobody likes a wussy boy. You're a man. Act like one. If need be, rent and watch every. single. movie that Antonio Bandares starred in. Twice.

Take notes.

6. Learn to dance. The Vertical Expression of Horizontal Desire, Legalized by Music. No, Mambo moves at Zouk on a Friday night does not count.



7. If all else fail, there's something attractive about a man who's already taken. Maybe it's the lure of the forbidden fruit. Maybe the worth of the man is already proven, after all, another of the same species is willing to spend the rest of her life with him. Or maybe, it's...

Courtesy of this gentleman

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me

This year, my birthday celebrations, very possibly, are going to be overseas.

For the first time in my life I'll be headed to KL.

Overseas with evil friends. At least nobody's gonna bring a pink dress.

I may need to inspect their luggage before driving up.

Anyone up for heading north a week from now?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Welcome

A little ironic. A late post for someone who came early.

Hello my dear Rachael. Welcome to the world.



She's gonna have some attitude when she grows up. God help the boys 15 years from now.

Uncle Edmund is waiting to see what'll happen then.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Thought of The Day

"Good intentions are nothing. Action and results are everything."

- Bob Bly

Sounds cold blooded and mercenary? Maybe. But I've seen too many people talking and not enough people doing to think anything else.

Think I've wrote about this once.

On a curiosity spree, I once tried asking every person I come across if they ever wanted to be a boss. 80% of the people say they do.

When asked if they have don't anything about it, about 73% said no. Of that group, 99% cited MONEY to be the main issue.

My next question, was well, if I gave ya a million bucks right now, and told you to spend it, what would you do with it? Here's an excerpt from a conversation I had with a taxi driver.

"Uncle, what if I gave you $10 million right now, what would you do?" (it's not a typo.)

"Quit my job, travel the world, buy a new house, invest the rest"

"What about your idea? Aren't you gonna try it?"

"Don't think so lah"

"Why not?"

"Later lose the money that you gave me already then how?"

"But you can do that after you finish enjoying mah. You probably won't finish the money"

"Not so good lah. Better not. A bit paiseh about losing the money, and wasting it"

I shut up then, because my dad was next to me and telling me that I was rude. I'm thinking to myself, spending on travelling, and shopping and all that jazz is a BETTER use of money? WTF?

But remember the walls around are there to show how much you really want the things you want. It's there for the other people. Not you.

If you don't bother trying, or sod it after once or twice, then you are probably the "others" that the walls are keeping out.

Jack Lalane

Alright, for you self-improvement types. Check this guy out.

50 years ahead of his time, 90+ years old and still can do enough pull-ups to put an army boy to shame.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Give Me One Reason To Stay Here

Lucky Kenny. Got sponsor to get him to write about one of my favourite topics - the mating dance between the male and female Homo Sapiens.

Sometimes I wonder, how the FUCK we evolved so complicated a mating ritual. And how, in spite of that (or maybe because of it), we manage to procreate and populate the whole goddam earth. If this does not reek of divine intervention, nothing does.

Anyways, I was reading his series sponsored, incidentally by Hugo Boss, and he thinks that in the enlightened society that we all live in now, women should take the initiative to make the first move as well.

Fact is, that women probably CAN make the first move. But guys,

GIVE THE GAL A REASON TO!

Like it or not, the onus is back on us. There's a reason why women doll up for a night out.

They dress up nice, bathe, do their hair, do their nails, shave their legs, shave their armpits, get shoes, change shoes, go back change dress again, paint nails, realize fingernails don't match toenails, paint toenails, fuck up the manicure, do it again, spray perfume, realize the scent wrong, bathe again........



Finishing touches on 4 hours of work

It is, correct me if I'm wrong, to appear attractive to us! They give US a reason to hit on them.

And if you don't understand how uncomfortable make-up is, gentlemen, I urge you, think back on your army days. To the days of camo on the face, and parade-ready uniforms. On top of that, heels are fucking tough.
the man's version of make-up

Fact is, dudes, you probably won't hit on a gal at a club with unkempt hair, streaked make-up, and rumpled clothes, and probably sweating from over exertion on the dance floor. Likewise, you won't hit on a gal that can't keep up her end of the conversation and look at you like a deer- in-the-headlights. And I'm pretty certain you will NOT find it a turn on even if said gal is staring at your package.
Want her to hit on you?

So what makes you think that if you appear like that to a woman at the mating grounds (also called club), she's gonna find you irresistably attractive and throw herself at you? ESPECIALLY when there are 271 other men vying for her attention, AND of which 269 are actually making moves on her?

So yeah it's fine for women to make the first move. But men, for the love of progeny. Give them a reason to come over and ask for your number!

To Be Continued.