Tuesday, December 19, 2006

If I was Principal..

Yeah yeah, I know. It's the middle of the frigging school holidays. Bah, humbug.

In any case, here's an idea of what students should be taught in school in lieu of A-Maths, which you don't use, cos you have frigging excel anyway.

Principles of Complaining - Cutting through the red tape and getting your way with rude customer service types in 15 minutes or less.

Management management - Dealing with stupid bosses, and working with brain-dead corporate types.

Speed Reading (Basic/Intermediate/Advanced) - Sifting through half a ton of reporting dross for a grain of relevant information

Small Talk 101 - For all your socializing needs

Basic Flirting - Required syllabus, Small Talk 101. Going beyond lame pick-up lines

What Women Want - Or Unexplained Mysteries. Optional cirriculum. Degree in Advanced Metaphysics and/or PhD in Philosophy good to have.

What Men Want - Or, Alcohol, Sex and full contact sports. NC-16 for violence, explicit content and inappropriate language.

Any other courses or additional modules?


Nicole said...

I actually aced A-Maths. But anyway.

1. Sports - Shooting arrows, or how to avoid that javelin coming your way)

2. The importance of being evil. - Because niceness simply means you get stepped all over on.

Birkenstocker said...

talking abt pick up lines, wat's the cheesiest ones u've ever heard?

Vandalin said...

Ooh, I don't get picked up.

Why don't YOU tell me what's the cheesiest ones you've heard?