Sunday, February 11, 2007

My Secret Spot.

I have an anti-social side.

Right. Now that you stopped laughing your arses off, let me repeat that.

There is a part of me that craves being alone. Somebody told me once that the more extroverted someone is, the more withdrawn that person will be when he or she goes into isolation. That somebody was smack on the money.

Remember the old Enid Blyton novels, where the children will always have a private place they can call their own, where they'll run to whenever they need time out from the rest of the world?

Can't build treehouses in Singapore, and I very much doubt there are any secret caves or deserted buildings. The nearest one is rumoured to be haunted, and in the middle of a barren field. Definitely more Stephen King than Enid Blyton.

Still, I make do. When I was in secondary school, I'd go early to Judo training and I'll explore the school, to find a place where nobody would find me. My own private corner if you will, my bolt hole, where I can go to and not have to entertain anyone, to be alone with my thoughts. Found a couple that even the most amorous of teenage couples won't stumble across.

I found another spot in the JC I went to, and another when I was in the army.

In university, I was caught up with the social life, and I moved to Sengkang. Never really saw the need to have a quiet spot till today.

So I went exploring again. Alone. Still haven't found my spot yet, but I reckon I will. The neighbourhood is long overdue for exploration, and I have a feeling that I may be in need of another sanctuary before long.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

I still detest the notion that you're permitting ONE person, a person hardly capable to be deem worthy to put you in this state. Each time I allow that idea to even float through my head, I will admit I feel nothing but repungence and repulse towards you, and towards that single person. I cannot understand how it is that in this situation, that person is the one to wind up the least hurt, given that without that person's existence, life would have been better for the rest of the world that I knew existed.

Yes I still have plenty of anger inside me, and no, I don't foresee it going away soon.

Perhaps this is one of those cases wherein the utopia in BNW would function very nicely. Everybody belongs to everybody else. The absence of extreme emotions, the inability to feel joy, anger, hurt nor sadness. Now, wouldn't that be divine? Pop a soma, and all woes fade to fantasy.