A Simple Lesson

I read a story with a simple message.

The hero is a wimpy kid who likes to cry.

When asked what he wants to do, he said this, "I can't change the world. It's too big. I only want to take care of the people I love, and the friends I know. But, everyone has people who are precious to them, right?

"And we all want the same thing, and just take care of the ones we hold dear. If just that one idea keeps going, eventually, the whole world would be saved right?"

Grief, and remember. But more hate and destruction will never bring back the people that have gone before us. The only thing we can do, is to live our lives fully, and love, so that their memory lives beautifully through us till the time we meet again.

That, we can do. Right?

The pain of the past does not justify the pain of the future. It serves to educate. To teach. To open our hearts, so that we can reach out, not to hit someone, but to hold them close. So that history will never ever have to repeat itself.

And this I learnt from LKY. Living for a cause. That's the hard part. Dying is easy. Living, so you have to make hard decisions day in and day out, get your ass out of bed, when you don't want to, and deal with all the million and one things so that we can continue? That's hard.

Enough Is Enough

I have had it up to HERE with people who cherry pick what I say, and just pick out whatever they want, and then afterwards pass judgement on me. You want to know exactly where I stand? Then read on. If not, here's a happy cat picture.

Why do I bloody condemn Hamas? 
Let me number it off for you,

1. If they're the government in Gaza, and they have received US$7.7 BILLION in fucking aid money, they can fucking do something about their fucking country since 2007 to make sure the lives of the people there don't fucking suck. JUST ONE FUCKING PERCENT of that money would have ensured that your people will have fucking bunkers. It's not fucking rocket science. It's a goddamn square hole in the fucking ground, with stairs, and concrete walls. Want me to draw the plans for you? Here. You're welcome. 
2. I have seen a ton of pictures and videos of all the BS that has been going on in Gaza. From both sides. I have one simple question. WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR CIVIL FUCKING DEFENCE? I have seen people helping people. I have seen civilians in grief and in pain. I see people dead. International doctors and aid workers working their fucking hands to the fucking bone just to make sure people survive. I have seen your glorious army fire fucking missiles, hijack fucking ambulances of aid organizations and use them for transport. I have NOT seen 1 fire truck, 1 uniformed Hamas/Palestinian personnel lift his fucking little finger to help ANYBODY hurt. Seriously. What the FUCK are your fucking priorities that you don't even set up a basic fire brigade, or a police force, or even just a basic ambulance service? What, you don't think you need it, is it? 
3. Let me try and see if I can put it into simple English for you. The role of the army, is to protect its people. Not use them as fucking human shields. You do NOT use children in your army. No, they're not for strapping bombs to and sending over the borders either. What are 12-year-olds suppose to do with 72 fucking virgins? Play catch? NO YOU DUMB FUCK! Civilian houses are not for storing your arsenal. Neither are fucking hospitals, or places of worship and if you say schools, I'll reach out and bitch-slap you. That goes double of firing rockets too. What is your logic? Seriously? If Israel fires at us, we can bitch at them to the international press, and if they don't, we can keep doing it? 
   
4. If there's one thing I can compliment you on, it is that your ceasefire terms seems mostly reasonable.
   Now, that said. Your people are fucking DYING here. And you're discussing fucking terms? Here's a thought. Why don't you, yes I'm talking about you, Khaled Mashal, and you, Ismail Haniyeh, do your discussions in the middle of GODDAMN GAZA? Then with the bombs going off around you, and the bullets flying, let's talk about terms shall we? 
5. And item the last. For the love of all that is holy. Seriously. Just quit screwing your own people over. Just to prove a point. There is right, or wrong so important that it needs to be scrawled in the blood of your own people. 

And now, Netanyahu.

1. Do you REALLY have to be that hard-assed? You guys have the Iron Dome, and tanks and shit. The Palestinians, not Hamas, the actual people who are trying to just scrape a living together. Cut them some fucking slack will ya? You are actually feeding the damn fire that Hamas started. So, seriously. Don't. Just don't. 
2. Don't be fucking arrogant, you asses. Half the shit I have to find, I have to do in Hebrew and then use Google translate. Don't just go, "Everybody hates us anyway" and just leave it at that. Nobody likes a smart-ass. So hire a better fucking PR person. Actually you know what, hire the fucker that runs Hamas's campaigns. 
   
3. Seriously, lay off the fuckin bombing now. Militia groups cannot be laid to rest with a frontal strike. Give Palestinians something to live for, and they'll tell Hamas to fuck off the next time they try to tell their people to die.
4. There's got to be a better way to weed out fucking terrorists. You're smart. Go fucking figure it out. If it's human shields you have to contend with, maybe the better way is to just offer any fucking person who needs a hot shower and a meal to head on over the border, get their asses into camp and then just keep them there. Depopulate Gaza, no more human shield. Tadahhhhh! If you're worried about fucking bombs, get H&M or something to open a store next to the crossing and stock up. Everybody gets free new clothes coming out, and burn their old ones. Win-win. Still cheaper than gas for an armed incursion.
5. Air drop fucking supplies over to the damn hospitals will you? If you can drop a fucking bomb, you can drop fucking supplies. People are fucking dying here. Give them a chance to live. Send an APC for the people in the hospitals. You have more than enough to spare don't you? And anyway, the more people you evac, again, less people for Operation Human Shield. 

And finally, to all the rest of you assholes out there who are bigots and racist and think that innocent people dying means you can play the blame game, and start shit up. Get. The. Fuck. Out. There is a fucking reason why I distinguish between Arabs, Muslims, Palestine, Hamas, Gaza and the West Bank, in case you fucking missed it, let me point it out for you. THEY. ARE. DIFFERENT. You don't? There's a special fucking place for people like you. There are bright happy colours, butterflies and nice people give you candy. 

There's also a difference between Jew, and Israeli, right wing warmongers, and left wing "everything about the government is fucked up". There is also a difference between the people who say, "kill all Palestinians!" and the 90% that say, "Why can't we fucking get along?" Oh, you don't? Well guess what, they have more space in that special place. I'll get them to set up more fucking chairs for you. 

The moral of the story is, that this is not about right or wrong, This is about human beings, and life. For 99% of the fucking world, you can't even fucking tell an Arab from a Jew. And if it was up to me, I'd fucking gas the entire region with weed till everyone is high and happy, and then make everyone hug and make out. We have enough fucking problems without people claiming the moral fucking high ground and enforce it with bullets and weapons. Here's one that SHOULD take precedence above all else. 

Peace. Salaam and Shalom. I look forward to your letters. 

DAFAQ - A View of the Gaza-Israel conflict through the eyes on the ground.

Finally finished this little project. Take a peek and comment. And yes, I'm good at only stickmen...

Jpeg here

Of Saints and Demons

So recently, a few things brought my attention to the whole drama in the Middle East. Friends on Facebook have been vilifying one country and putting another up on a pedestal because of conflict. Harsh words exchanged and tempers flared. Passionate pleas on all sides. I was also asked to do a National Education Talk for one of my clients.

I know right, me. Doing an NE talk. The irony of it all.

Still, in the preparation for the NE talk, I decided to dig. First that came up, was Russell Peters response to Middle Easterners.

He raised some rather interesting points. Like, things in the Middle East are so messed up, that it often seems like they're fighting each other until someone else comes along to try to get them to play nice. In which case, they not very politely tell the person to fuck off. And then continue beating each other up.

Point, the second. I tried reading into the history of the region. And frankly, that's a whole jumble of grudges and ancient claims. Essentially, what THAT has become, is because you killed my father/brother/uncle/cousin and stole my goat, I'm gonna go whoop your ass and take 4 chickens. Multiply that about 24,391 times, and throw in land and other people sticking their noses in because of oil, and you have the current situation.

I do know a few things though. It is easy to demonize your enemy. And when your life is at stake, whatever is on the "other side" is evil. That's how wars start. Any war. Do you want to say that Hitler was evil? Fact is, that dig a little more, and the trade embargoes, taxes, war tributes imposed by the Allied nations against the ENTIRE Prussian State beggared the country to the point when there was nothing to live for anymore. When pushed into a corner, even a mouse will fight.

Does that mean I condone genocide of the Jews and the killing of 20 million people in the war? Nope. But what I'm saying is when you demonize something, or someone, you take that first step into a long, dark road that ends in the ultimate senselessness called WAR.

Three. when shit hits the fan, there's no more right ad wrong any more. Eventually, everything becomes personal. I had the privilege to speak with an Army Colonel in Cambodia who started fighting in wars from the time he was 10. He fought on the Khmer army against the Vietnamese, and then the Vietnamese against the Khmer Rouge. He was in the civil war as well. When I asked him about his experience, he said with sadness, "The people at the front is like a war machine, you know? Whoever is at the front of you, you kill not because of right, or wrong, but because you need to survive. You fight back because they shot at you. If you kill them, they'll come back tomorrow and kill you... The only time when anybody stops fighting is when everybody is dead. Or too tired to fight, or when there's nothing left to fight for."

Once the first bullet flies, there's no more right, or wrong. The only way to maintain sanity is for your side to maintain the moral high ground to yourself to justify the actions you have to do to survive. The only way to do that, is to demonize the other side. Down that road, is me and him, ours and them, mine and theirs.

Eventually, right and wrong are two sides of the same coin. But everything is arbitrary isn't it? It just depends on which side of the gun you stand on. The sentence "I'm right, and you're wrong" in all its forms has killed more people down the history of Mankind. The only way, to come together, is put that gun down, and hug the person in front of you.

Rumi said, "Out beyond the fields of right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there." Perhaps, if I may propose another point of view. If something promotes coming together, and peace, and openness and love. That's right. Or in the words of Bruce Lee, "under the skies, under the heavens, there is but one family. It just so happens that people are different."

Being Vulnerable

It's always the periods that we are the most down, that we learn the most isn't it? If so, there MUST be a lesson in reaching out, and getting the stuffing knocked out of me, losing my passport and wallet, stranded alone in another country. 

I realize, that at a fundamental level, I have been hiding. Hiding is easiest when it's done to yourself. Keeping feelings inside, and bottled up because I do not want to acknowledge them. I am lonely, sometimes more than others. I feel that I am not worthy and I limit myself. I am afraid. 

It's terrifying to confront the fact, that maybe this low-level superhero isn't so super. That he gets scared, or feels inadequate, or is lonely even though he's the friendliest person in the room and can connect with anyone and everyone. 

So I hide. I used to be able to dance without alcohol. To make the conscious decision to lower my walls and my inhibitions, and just dance and experience the music. But with booze, it's just so much easier isn't it? 3 drinks later, the walls are easily lowered, and stays down. And we think we can enjoy the music that much more. 

But we don't. 

We cannot numb the bad feelings, the awkwardness and the embarrassment without simultaneously dulling our connections to the music, and the pleasure of being present in the moment. Funny, by drinking, we are present in the moment, but also our senses are dulled and we cannot enjoy the moment fully. 

But it was the easier way out. So over time, the conscious decision to lower my guard becomes the conscious decision to get another pint, or three. It becomes almost a need to get some every time or else I can't really dance or enjoy the music. Is it an addiction? I don't know. But I recognize, and it got me a little appalled I gotta say. There are other distractions of course, for my feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. Booze just isn't gonna cut it for those.

It's a hard thing to put down and acknowledge to myself. I thought I got it sorted out, but I guess not yet. I guess it takes as long as it does.

And then I watch this video from Brene Brown on being vulnerable. And her Ted Talk addressing shame. They both hit me like a ton of bricks. It is hard to be open and vulnerable. It is hard because we have to live with uncertainty. It's hard to put yourself out there and love without walls and without certainty. It is hard to be real.

So we all hide. Behind walls, distractions, relationships, sex, work... just anything really, to keep ourselves from dealing with it. It's just TOO hard. Not to say those aren't legitimate things to enjoy, but when they're used to be distracted...

Now that that's out in the open, I going to experience them fully, so that they too can pass. When I can become truly comfortable in my own company, and know that I am truly awesome, maybe then I'll be ready for that person that comes into my life.  

And here's my commitment. To fully experience everything that life throws at me. To revel in the moment, whatever it be. Good or bad, now I will tell the story of who I am, with my whole heart. Flawed and small it might be. Life is my arena. Whether I fail or succeed in love, life or career, there's only one way to live, and that's to be real and vulnerable, and daring greatly.

So next projects, giving the best hugs in the world, and see if my instructor will take me for the Iron Palm training for the next 6 months. Oh, and see if I can get my tango legs back.

A New Year's Desire.

In the new year, I do not wish you wealth or success. Instead, I wish you growth.

Physically, in health and energy.
Mentally, in knowlege and wisdom.
Emotionally, in joy, and gratitude.
Spiritually, in love and courage.

The wealth and success then becomes inevitable, doesn't it?

Forgetting Your Purpose

Originally, transport companies were privatized to make them more efficient. I remember when I was in school, I was taught that privatization was done because profit makes it an easy way for infrastructure services like power, water and transport to be motivated enough to streamline their offerings and push the companies to function better.

However, there is one assumption.

That the gah-men maintains control on these companies and they do not forget their purpose.

However, when these companies focus too hard on the bottomline, and forget what they were originally set up to do, we have a problem that looks strikingly like what we have now.

Actually, I don't even blame the transport companies. They are just the most recent ones to get flak for system-wide amnesia.

Telcos done it. Singtel, according to a lot of my friends have become so incredibly unresponsive, and complacent that in many places in Singapore, the reception and 3G internet speeds are pathetic. It's even scarier when you consider that Singtel is the one that maintains all the repeater stations in Singapore. The customer service in Singtel, has cause some to consider them Stink-tel.

They forget that they do not answer to the shareholders. They answer to the people of Singapore, whose taxes was used to create the company in the first place.

Comfort Delgro FINALLY realizes that they are having a problem retaining their taxi drivers and getting them to drive on rainy days. But they don't think that the reason for that, is because the draconian rules they impose or the ridiculous fare structures they insist on implementing.

They forget that they are at core a company that caters to the infrastructure of Singapore.

Politicians forget. That the reason why Singaporeans are so yielding is because when the nation of Singapore was formed, we submitted because of a social contract. One that is not explicitly written, but holds true nonetheless. That we give up the power to do exactly what we like, when we like, and in return the powers that be do what's the best for US, to the best of their ability. For that, we are a democracy run like a monarchy (I'd say dictatorship, but it's not passed from father to son).

Now, it's about being somebody, rather than doing something. No, you cannot fake "giving a damn". Eventually, you'll ALWAYS be found out. So much the faster when you stick your foot in your mouth on a regular basis.

NTUC has forgotten that it is the check and balance when it comes to representing the people that cannot be represented. For the little guy. It's forgotten because it's more profitable to run supermarkets, and it's been too long since it's been called to do anything related to its name, the National Trade Union Cooperative.

So, it just mouth the words that were given to it, and it's pretty much become a toothless tiger. When the Ministry of Manpower does nothing but facilitate business, the police enforce written law, without understanding the spirit of it, the National Wage Council (yes, there is such a thing) advice is so much smoke, who do the little people turn to when there is wrongdoing? Nobody.

The press has forgotten for a long time. There has not been independent reporting in this country for a long, long time. Words get twisted out of context, irrelevant news get blown out of proportion, and things that are of concern are sidelined.

Nowadays, Facebook's timeline give me a better view of the world than the Straits Times, and that's a sad, sad fact indeed.

Watchdog bodies have forgotten that their job is to ensure state run enterprises remember their purpose. A monopoly or an oligopoly is allowed because it is suppose to be more efficient under real world circumstances. But seriously, what is the fine of $100,000 when the daily takings of a transport company is in the millions? Not even a slap on the wrist. When watchdog bodies have no teeth, and their bark is worse than their bite, who remembers them?

Transport companies forgot that they are suppose to manage and maintain infrastructural efficiency in Singapore so we, the citizens and residents of Singapore can do our busy bee impression and work for Singapore, Incorporated. When transport prices keep going up, and there is absolutely no apparent increase in efficacy, we ask, exactly what are the transport companies doing? Are they suppose to manage the infrastructure, which is paid for by the taxes of the people in the first place, or are they suppose to just manage the profit? What's the company doing with the profits anyway, if not to reinvest into making Singapore's transport network that much better?

Now, transport companies raise prices, which the PTC almost automatically agrees to, and we, the citizens of Singapore, not only paid to create the infrastructure, also pays to maintain and upgrade it. Where does the  profits go to? Lord only knows, but I thought I saw this on an episode of Hustle once.

Has the authorities related to housing and development forgotten? I think so. When prices of flats are through the roof, that the idea of having a place to stay is so far out of your mind if you're under 40 years old right now, one must wonder, what is the purpose of flats that are constructed with the money of the people, and then sold back to them at a MASSIVE profit again? Perhaps it is to show the world bank that Singapore has the most number of millionaires in the world, and most of these millionaires are rich because of a lease. No, not ownership. A lease. Yes, people who live in HDB flats, HDB is still your landlord, just because it doesn't say so on paper doesn't make it any different.

We, the people, have forgotten. Haven't we? Governments should fear the people, not the other way around. We have forgotten we can do something about this. We believe the press when it said that the President is a ceremonial role, and not the most powerful person in the land because he is the one that holds the veto vote in any parliamentary decision. We forget that the one that holds the purse strings very often holds the power to force government ministries to remember and act for the good of the people. We forget that the President holds the power to change key gahmen figures, and they are appointed by his approval, yes, including the Prime Minister.

The President of Singapore is suppose to represent the people, and when the people forget, apparently, so does the one that represents them.

The powers of the Singapore President, as it is written on Wikipedia, includes appointing the Prime Minister without consultation with ANYONE. 

So right now, where I stand, the land where I was born and raised, is one that I live in. Not because of any great love for the land, because it has forgotten itself, but because it is expedient, and because I hold on desperately to  hope, that one day, it might remember.

Love Is Like A BBQ...

No, seriously. I've been giving it some thought now, and you know, I'm seeing a lot of similarity.

The Beginning - The Fire

The start of any relationship is often the most exciting. The fire burns incredibly bright, the couple can't get enough of each other, and seem stuck together like glue. They shout to the world that they're in LOVE, and since once is never enough, they do it over and over again.

The beginning the any good BBQ fire, you know, is fire. Burning high and bright, this is the visually the most exciting part of the whole evening. Not particularly useful when it comes to cooking, but it sure looks damn good.

Keep the fire at this level, and you realize that your charcoal burns out quickly, your food gets charred, and you'll end up hungry. Starting to see a similarity?

The Middle - The Heat

Anybody who has stood next to a BBQ pit will tell you that when the fire dies down, and the coals are red hot, that's when the pit is ready for the good stuff. Just because the fire is gone, don't mean the heat is. In fact, if anything, the grill is now even hotter than before.

This heat cooks everything, and a with a little patience, you can get incredible results. Perfectly done steak, vegetables slightly charred on the outside, but sweet and juicy on the inside, even clams and stingray, if you have aluminium foil.

Oh you get the occasional spurt of fire, especially if the grease drips off and into the flame, but hey, it just serves to add flavour and colour.

Keeping the grill hot at this point is not difficult. Conscientiously adding some charcoal now and then, and a few quick strokes of the fan, you can keep the grill going the entire night.

When it comes to the relationship between two people, well, the similarity is quite obvious isn't it? After the initial adrenaline rush, and mind-blowing excitement, the relationship matures to a slow, but intense burn.

Two people start finding out more about each other, intimacy deepens (no, not just the sex. Get your mind out of the gutter!), and they accept each other for who they really are, and in the words of my dear beloved sister, they would even start to grow together.

Sure there are flare-ups and arguments on occasion, but it just serves to spice up the relationship, and yes, do NOT get complacent. Be grateful, enjoy, keep the fire stoked and it will last a long time.

The End - Walking Away

At the end of the BBQ, we usually just let the fire burn down. Sure you can quench the coals, but that often leaves a bigger mess. When the charcoal is neglected, it dies. Slowly, the fuel burns to ash, and without anything new being added, it fades off, becomes a memory, and dispersed by the wind.

When two people stop working on the relationship, and leave it be, the relationship begins to cool off and fade. After some time, without a little care and concern, complacency kills the relationship and the end is nigh.

I do not think that there is ever, the ONE, at least not for me. Just like there is no one perfect BBQ. There is however, times where it comes pretty close, and sometimes, even after the meal ends, the tastes and the memories remain.

Still, that just makes for an even better meal next time, yes?

Want Racial Harmony, Build Hawker Centres

There has been a lot of talk about race and stuff recently with all the frigging debacles around. I have only one thing to say.

If I was the CEO of NTUC, I'd have fired her too. Not for racist sentiments. Oh no. I'd fire her, because she just proven that her IQ is comparable to her shoe size, and for being a complete fuckwit. I don't know and don't care what your inclinations are, but to put it up on Facebook? Find me a soft wall so I can hit my head gently against it.

But let's consider the bigger picture. Racism in Singapore. Are we going to be like the States? And we become so incredibly sensitive about race, and make such a big deal about avoiding it? Is there no better model?

One already exists. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Singapore Hawker Centre.

I have, in times past, told many of my overseas friends that the hawker centre is the sign of a truly integrated society where regardless of race, language or religion, good food is good food, and everybody drinks Tiger.

I mean seriously. If I, a Chinese boy, decides to buy nasi lemak, does anyone bat an eyelid? No. If my Malay friends decides to get some vegetarian zi-char, nobody cares except, "nice or not?" and seriously, EVERYONE EATS PRATA! And all of this happens under one roof!

The Chinese stalls are next to Indian stalls, which is next to the sarabat stall, and nobody says ANYTHING for the longest time! Why are we being all sensitive now? We are colourblind when it comes to food, why should it be different for anything else in the world?

And honestly, Malay, Chinese, Indian, who cares? When it comes to food, good is good. When it comes to people, same thing. Simple, no?

The Job Of A Trainer

Is to see things for what they are, and people for who they are. Then have the belief that they can be better. And THEN hopefully the tools for the job.

The Inscurity Blanket

Insecurity. So prevalent, it is almost a pre-requisite for being human. We all have a little of it, and the way it influences ou actions and thoughts often impacts how we live our lives and treat the people around us.

Recently I noticed that we like to wrap this insecurity about us. Like the oppsite of Linus' security blanket, or the direct opposite of rose tinted glasses. And strangely enough, just like the opposite of rose tinted glasses, we often turn this view inwards.

Why is insecurity so comforting that we would rather wrap ourselves up in it than shed it aside and see things for what they really are? Why does a strong man want to think of himself weak? Or a beautiful woman ugly, a rich person poor, or a powerful one, impotent?

I have it as well. My little shred of an insecurity blanket. I was asked in two days, by two different people why it is that I'm lounging. And maybe, just maybe I'm slacking because I have tried to aim for the stars at one time, fell badly, and now instead of standing at the precipice, ready to take another plunge, I am scared to even approach the edge, and am just comfortable where it's safe.

Perhaps it is the idea of with great power comes great responsibility. That if we acknowledge ourselves to be capable, we then become duty bound to exercise our gifts. And in that exercise, we have to acknowledge that we might possibly have a responsibility to ethics.

I have always held Marianne Williamson's quote from "A Return to Love" close to my heart, and I realize now that it might not be a poem for all of us, even though it was written that way. It is for the people who are finally willing to shed their insecurity blankets and live it up. For the ones who are kicking ass and taking names.

I am reminded again, that before we become, it must first be real inside our heads. Once it is real inside, reality will catch up. That, is the simplest, and the hardest lesson of all.

From Marianne Williamson's "A Return To Love"

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Being Christian

Folks that know me now often find it hard to believe I'm Christian. A good number think it hard to believe I actually have a heart. Or a brain. But we'll leave those discussions for another day.

Right now, it's just certain realizations about my ideas on Christianity that I had over the years. It might be sacrilegious to some. But fuck it. These are my views and I'm sticking by them.

1. There are only two commandments in the New Testament. Three if you count the Great Commission. To love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul, and to love your neighbour as yourself. Everything else is just good advice.

2. It's a personal relationship between God and me. It's not your business, really. If you tell me I shouldn't be doing this or should be doing that, I ask, "Your opinion or God's?" We can agree to disagree on a lot of things. It's not personal. I am not going to go bitch to God and go, "Don't let him into Heaven just cos he's doing this and that". I'd appreciate you to do the same. Even if you do, I'm going to smile politely, nod, and let you finish then I'll tell you I don't answer to you.

3.  God is not your personal bitch. You can ask for a lot of things. But in the end, the masochistic, hard headed streak in all of us means that a lot of lessons need to be hammered in. And depending on the thickness of our skulls, the size of the hammer varies. We learn our best lessons when they are delivered through the pain in our lives.

4.  That said, there are infinite blessings out there for you if only you are willing to believe that God is more than happy to give you everything you want, including contentment and happiness. But also understand with great blessings come great responsibility. Learn to be thankful.

5. "I'm a Christian, Unless You're Gay"  echoes something that I've been telling my friends for years now. One time, there was a sermon I heard in church. It's about love. And how love is not romantic like the kinds you find in romance novels. It's dirty, grimy, stinky. It gets you hurt. It takes a ton of work. It is frustrating and painful. It's not pretty or glamorous. That's what real love is like. And anybody who's been a caregiver, parent or a friend in need knows this. Jesus was among the outcast, the lepers, the crippled, the worn out and the ones that sinned. If you don't use that as your example, then exactly who ARE you using?

6. No I can't make sense of speaking in tongue. But I'm not gonna diss you if you do. If you ask me, we'll engage in a discussion. You worship your own way. I do it mine. Whatever is acceptable, it's not either of our call, is it? God saw fit to only judge at the end of days. What gives you the right to do otherwise?

7. Being a Christian is simple, not easy. Kinda like lifting a car engine. Let's not complicate matters and make it more difficult than it already is, yeah?

8. No, it does not answer all the questions in the world. At least for me, just the important ones. The rest are just "fiddly bits". If we differ on faith, that's your decision. We can have a discussion on differences. But in the end, I realize that I'm never gonna convince you to convert, neither are you going to do that to me.

9. The Great Commission is to spread the word. Not ram it down people's throats. Conversion is not your job. Don't make it yours.

10. I believe in Creation, even if I am still trying to figure out the timeline. Yes, evolution is ALSO based on faith.

There... here are my 10 realizations through the years. In the words of Craig Ferguson, "I look forward to your emails."

There Was A Time...

There was a time when the leaders of Singapore were clear about what their job was, and the words of the pledge meant something to them.

There was a time, when from the people, by the people, for the people means that the elected leaders also have the responsibility that comes with the power of leadership, and it was a burden as much as it was a privilege.

There was a time, when the words being a leader means someone who stands up for the people he is a leader for. He leads by example, and in return, the people gave loyalty, and privileges to he or she who is the leader. The pirate chief gets double share, the CEO gets a bigger salary package and even the person who fronts the team in class gets extra points for additional responsibility.

The sword of leadership cuts both ways.

Many times, people have said, "Actions speak louder than words." And after the words being spoken during the election, the actions are sadly less than forthcoming.

Public transport in Singapore has been the talk of town for a while now. But frankly, it's just the most recent of a symptom of a worrying trend that has been going on for a while.

I have never asked for much from any government. I ask nothing from it, neither do I give it much credence. Unlike many of my peers who expect the powers that be to coddle and pamper me, and then fault them for everything including the mysterious losing of one sock in the washing machine, all I ask for is simple. Maintain stability and just make sure that the economic playing field is flat.

But that's not happening is it? Because right now, actions seem to be saying, "we're in change. Now suck it up because you have to."

Current Speculations

Outside of work, here are the thoughts that are currently running through my head.

1. You know how it is that success coaches like asking this question, "if you do not have any limit on money and time, what would you do?" How would you change if you removes the limit on youth and time, if you can live forever.

2. To what extent is one willing to go to prolong life before morality kicks in?

3. Do women feel the need to dumb down when they are with guys? Do men feel the need to "macho up" in the presence of attractive women? How are these actions, if there were any, actually perceived by the other parties? 

No thought killer application to shut them down leh...

What Is Love?

What is love, that makes it the simplest, and the most complicated emotion in the world to understand?
What is love, that makes someone go through hell and high water, and be willing to try again?
What is love, that brings two people together and keeps them together even though logic dictates otherwise?
What is love, that make strangers friends, and friends become lovers, while others falter?
What is love, that makes someone choose a football club, a country, a discipline or a sport, or a person over all others?

What is love, that makes a person try, and keep trying, even though his efforts are doomed from the start?
What is love, that it never, ever matters the circumstances where it starts, or who it is, as long the end IS love?
What is love, that makes one dream more significant than all the others, and we burn our lives chasing it and count it well spent?
What is love, that makes us find beauty in ordinary things, and the holding of two hands the most intimate of human contact?
What is love, that pushes two people to dedicate their lives into a commitment to each other?
What is love, that makes it the root of the most painful and most pleasurable feelings in the human vocabulary and experience?
What is love, that makes all the analysis of a relationship, all the articles and research written on it, redundant?

What is love, that for all the qualities one can name for another that you like, none of them are the reason why you love them?
What is love, that for all the restlessness and need in the human soul, one can finally put down his burden and go, "I am home", even if for a moment?

What is love, that for all the rules in the world that one sets for oneself, eventually there is only one. The heart wants what the heart wants. End of story.

All I know now, after 32 years, is that I have no answers.
All I know, is that it is exceedingly rare, heart-stoppingly beautiful and precious.
All I know, is that love has no reason, and that as long as it exists, no matter how torn and battered it might be, give it every single opportunity to thrive and grow. And if it is already dead, then nothing one can do can bring it back to life.

For those of you who have a special someone, I envy you. I read a quote once, that the only time in life when you have problems is when you're dead. Such is love. The day you have no more trouble from love, is the day that love is dead.

I would take all the issues, baggage, fights, quarrels, pain, anger and tribulation, for that one chance to love and be loved. And if you have it or a chance at it, dear reader. Treasure it. Guard it with your life. Don't let pride, anger, history, self doubt, jealousy, or the mundaneness of everyday life kill it. At the same time, if it is not there, let go. But after you have tried every. single. thing.

And if ever you or your significant other forget, refer him or her to me. I'll set ya'll straight in a jiffy.

Just Do It

“Knowing is not enough, you must apply; willing is not enough, you must do.” - Bruce Lee

Listen!

Why is it that in society, we are so starved to have someone listen to us, that we actually have to pay someone hundreds of dollars to sit and listen? Is it really that hard?

I am reminded that one of the best compliment that someone can pay another is to really listen. Suspend your thoughts and preconceptions, look into the person's eyes, and open your heart and mind to what the other person is attempting to communicate. No interruptions but for clarifying, validating and encouraging.

When was the last time anyone actually did something like that for you? When was the last time you did that for someone?

In this age of instant communication, a lot of information gets communicated very quickly, and trees of meaning are too often hidden in the forest of words. I forget also that very often the most effective communicators are the ones that also listen the best.

Compliments

Over the last two weeks, two people have told me that they follow what I write.

Wow.

I didn't know that anyone outside of a few close friends and family even know that the blog exists. After all, I'm not a hot chick, a quotable quote generator, neither do I write all that often. This is cos it takes some time to process experiences and convert thoughts into text and express it coherently.

Thank you for the compliment of reading. I am both glad and humbled. That goes out to every single one of you who take the time to read my ramblings. This started off as a place to put my thoughts on display, invite critique and maybe spur a little controversy. I hope it will always remain so.

Quotes From Troy

How is it that normal people become heroes? What defines a legend? Sometimes it is just a man, woman or child trapped in extraordinary circumstance, and acting according to his or her own beliefs.

I liked Gemmell's retellings of old legends because they make the heroes human. People who are no different from any other, who just happen to be trapped in rather strange circumstances. The hero, in these cases, do not have farts that smell of roses nor do flowers bloom where they walk.

Sometimes, it is the ordinary that inspire legends.

"Love is a mystery. We embrace it where we can. Mostly we do not choose whom we love. It just happens. A voice speaks to us, in ways the ear cannot hear. We recognize a beauty that the eye does not see. We experience a change in our hearts that no voice can describe. There is no evil in love, Kalliope" 


"'You said storytellers fashion truth from lies? How can that be?' she asked him. 
"'A question I have long pondered,' He pointed at Bias. 'I once told a tale about a winged demon who attacked the Penelope. I said that Bias, the greatest spear thrower in the world, hurled a javelin so powerfully that it tore through the demon's wings and saved the ship from destruction. Bias was so taken with the story that he practised and practised with the javelin, and finally won a great prize at a King's Games. You see? He had become the greatest, because I lied about it. And therefore it was no longer a lie.'
"'I understand,' said Piria. 'And how can the truth be made into a lie?'
"'Ah, lass, that is something none of us can avoid.' Bending down, he scooped up the small clay plate...
"' My point is that truth is a mass of complexities, made up of many parts. What is truth to you?... Truth or lies? Both? It depends upon perception, understanding, belief. So, to return to your original question, it is not hard to make the truth a lie. We do it all the time, and mostly we don't even know it.'"

"She looked up at him. 'Are you in love with me?'...
"He looked into her eyes, and she felt the power of his grey gaze. 'My feelings are my own,' he said at last. 'All I know is that you are sailing for Troy to be with someone you love. If you will allow me I will see you safely there.' 
"'I could never love a man in the way that he would desire. You understand that?' 
"'Have I asked you to love me?' he countered.
"'No.'
"'Then the problem does not arise.'"

"'There is a darkness in you. In all of us, probably. Beasts we keep chained. Orginary men have to keep the chains strong, for if we let the beast loose then society will turn upon us with a fiery vengeance. Kings though... well, who is there to turn upon them? So the chains are made of straw. It is the curse of kings, Helikaon, that they can become monsters.' He sighed. 'And they invariably do.'" 

There is a reason I read fiction. Because often stories describe abstract ideas better that the writings of scholars.

Good Advice

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” - Bob Marley

I think it applies to both women AND men don't you?