The relentless pursuit of the definition of self. Acceptance.
Training is, through the use of my body, to understand myself, and to have the ability to call on honest and true expression of myself when I want it. To solidify determination, and move.
Constant questioning,
Constant curiosity,
Experience, integrate, grow.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Welcome Darkness My Dear Friend
The silence between the notes
The space between the seconds
The darkness between the stars
The stillness between one breath and the next
Mostly, in the night when everyone's gone to bed, or in the mornings where a restless mind awakes to find no respite.
Liquid oblivion tastes bitter on the tongue now. Even the good stuff.
So I throw myself into everything else.
I search
For absolution,
Perhaps manifestation of pain.
Perhaps intense self growth and breakthrough.
Fuck emo. Enough whining. Now to get on with life. The world awaits.
The space between the seconds
The darkness between the stars
The stillness between one breath and the next
Mostly, in the night when everyone's gone to bed, or in the mornings where a restless mind awakes to find no respite.
Liquid oblivion tastes bitter on the tongue now. Even the good stuff.
So I throw myself into everything else.
I search
For absolution,
Perhaps manifestation of pain.
Perhaps intense self growth and breakthrough.
Fuck emo. Enough whining. Now to get on with life. The world awaits.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Birthday Wishes
So another year gone, and another year is here. I've never been one to put much store by my birthdays truth be told. In the past, it's more often been an excuse to get my mates together, get drunk and party. Never been much on birthday resolutions, nor presents for that matter.
If there are presents, I have always held more store for the cards than the presents. The feelings invested into the written word are more precious to me than the presents.
This year's a little different. Things were a little tough this birthday, and I'm in the middle of a flux. Work wise, I've stagnated for a year or so, getting my feet back under me after trying to live the entrepreneur dream for a little more than half a decade. I've shelved that for now.
Relationships, I met someone I thought was about as close to a soulmate I'll ever likely to get. Funny how love springs at you in the most unexpected circumstance. Alas it was not to be, and somewhere along the way, I wussed out, lost my confidence and is slowly coming back to be alone and myself again.
Nevertheless, whatever does not kill me makes me stronger, yes?
I'm grateful for the experiences I had, and for the friends in my life. From each and everyone of you I have learnt something. I appreciate the care and love that you have shown, and my life is richer for your presence. Thank you Rachel, Christine, Siren and Lennie for making my birthday more amazing than I ever thought it could be.
Rachel thank you for the company.
Christine, thank you darling. One Altitude was fucking awesome. The sunset, spectacular.
Siren, thank you for dinner, and making one of my most ardent birthday wishes come true.
Lennie, thanks for the offer of drinks and the support.
I am thankful for my family, both immediate and extended. In your own way, you have shown your support and love for me, and as much as you piss me off at times, you have been role models to me.
To the ones I loved, you have made a huge impact on my life. Thank you for being with me. You will always be special to me, in your own way.
Over the last 6 years, I've kept a lot of my dreams in check. For the sake of business, many of my personal goals and aspirations have been set aside. This year, I'm determined to fulfil some of them.
1. Martial Arts - I've always loved martial arts, and I have neglected it for too long. Time to step up JKD a notch. Bruce Lee remains my idol.
2. Travelling - The last time I travelled purely for leisure is May 2002. I really miss backpacking and visiting my mates from all over. This time though, if I get mugged, someone else's ass will be well and truly kicked.
3. Riding - Ever since army, I've wanted to get back on the bike again. It's not a mode of transport. It is a lifestyle.
4. Inking - I'm working on the addition to my tatt. Work in progress.
5. Guitar - I've neglected my baby. I'm sorry. I will get my ass in gear and complete learning Hotel California.
6. Moving Out - Even if it's just a room.
A year gone, and another year laid out. Helllooo Edmund. There are stories to write, lessons to learn and so much of life to experience.
If there are presents, I have always held more store for the cards than the presents. The feelings invested into the written word are more precious to me than the presents.
This year's a little different. Things were a little tough this birthday, and I'm in the middle of a flux. Work wise, I've stagnated for a year or so, getting my feet back under me after trying to live the entrepreneur dream for a little more than half a decade. I've shelved that for now.
Relationships, I met someone I thought was about as close to a soulmate I'll ever likely to get. Funny how love springs at you in the most unexpected circumstance. Alas it was not to be, and somewhere along the way, I wussed out, lost my confidence and is slowly coming back to be alone and myself again.
Nevertheless, whatever does not kill me makes me stronger, yes?
I'm grateful for the experiences I had, and for the friends in my life. From each and everyone of you I have learnt something. I appreciate the care and love that you have shown, and my life is richer for your presence. Thank you Rachel, Christine, Siren and Lennie for making my birthday more amazing than I ever thought it could be.
Rachel thank you for the company.
Christine, thank you darling. One Altitude was fucking awesome. The sunset, spectacular.
Siren, thank you for dinner, and making one of my most ardent birthday wishes come true.
Lennie, thanks for the offer of drinks and the support.
I am thankful for my family, both immediate and extended. In your own way, you have shown your support and love for me, and as much as you piss me off at times, you have been role models to me.
To the ones I loved, you have made a huge impact on my life. Thank you for being with me. You will always be special to me, in your own way.
Over the last 6 years, I've kept a lot of my dreams in check. For the sake of business, many of my personal goals and aspirations have been set aside. This year, I'm determined to fulfil some of them.
1. Martial Arts - I've always loved martial arts, and I have neglected it for too long. Time to step up JKD a notch. Bruce Lee remains my idol.
2. Travelling - The last time I travelled purely for leisure is May 2002. I really miss backpacking and visiting my mates from all over. This time though, if I get mugged, someone else's ass will be well and truly kicked.
3. Riding - Ever since army, I've wanted to get back on the bike again. It's not a mode of transport. It is a lifestyle.
4. Inking - I'm working on the addition to my tatt. Work in progress.
5. Guitar - I've neglected my baby. I'm sorry. I will get my ass in gear and complete learning Hotel California.
6. Moving Out - Even if it's just a room.
A year gone, and another year laid out. Helllooo Edmund. There are stories to write, lessons to learn and so much of life to experience.
Monday, November 08, 2010
Quotes From Troy
How is it that normal people become heroes? What defines a legend? Sometimes it is just a man, woman or child trapped in extraordinary circumstance, and acting according to his or her own beliefs.
I liked Gemmell's retellings of old legends because they make the heroes human. People who are no different from any other, who just happen to be trapped in rather strange circumstances. The hero, in these cases, do not have farts that smell of roses nor do flowers bloom where they walk.
Sometimes, it is the ordinary that inspire legends.
"Love is a mystery. We embrace it where we can. Mostly we do not choose whom we love. It just happens. A voice speaks to us, in ways the ear cannot hear. We recognize a beauty that the eye does not see. We experience a change in our hearts that no voice can describe. There is no evil in love, Kalliope"
"'You said storytellers fashion truth from lies? How can that be?' she asked him.
"'A question I have long pondered,' He pointed at Bias. 'I once told a tale about a winged demon who attacked the Penelope. I said that Bias, the greatest spear thrower in the world, hurled a javelin so powerfully that it tore through the demon's wings and saved the ship from destruction. Bias was so taken with the story that he practised and practised with the javelin, and finally won a great prize at a King's Games. You see? He had become the greatest, because I lied about it. And therefore it was no longer a lie.'
"'I understand,' said Piria. 'And how can the truth be made into a lie?'
"'Ah, lass, that is something none of us can avoid.' Bending down, he scooped up the small clay plate...
"' My point is that truth is a mass of complexities, made up of many parts. What is truth to you?... Truth or lies? Both? It depends upon perception, understanding, belief. So, to return to your original question, it is not hard to make the truth a lie. We do it all the time, and mostly we don't even know it.'"
"She looked up at him. 'Are you in love with me?'...
"He looked into her eyes, and she felt the power of his grey gaze. 'My feelings are my own,' he said at last. 'All I know is that you are sailing for Troy to be with someone you love. If you will allow me I will see you safely there.'
"'I could never love a man in the way that he would desire. You understand that?'
"'Have I asked you to love me?' he countered.
"'No.'
"'Then the problem does not arise.'"
"'There is a darkness in you. In all of us, probably. Beasts we keep chained. Orginary men have to keep the chains strong, for if we let the beast loose then society will turn upon us with a fiery vengeance. Kings though... well, who is there to turn upon them? So the chains are made of straw. It is the curse of kings, Helikaon, that they can become monsters.' He sighed. 'And they invariably do.'"
There is a reason I read fiction. Because often stories describe abstract ideas better that the writings of scholars.
I liked Gemmell's retellings of old legends because they make the heroes human. People who are no different from any other, who just happen to be trapped in rather strange circumstances. The hero, in these cases, do not have farts that smell of roses nor do flowers bloom where they walk.
Sometimes, it is the ordinary that inspire legends.
"Love is a mystery. We embrace it where we can. Mostly we do not choose whom we love. It just happens. A voice speaks to us, in ways the ear cannot hear. We recognize a beauty that the eye does not see. We experience a change in our hearts that no voice can describe. There is no evil in love, Kalliope"
"'You said storytellers fashion truth from lies? How can that be?' she asked him.
"'A question I have long pondered,' He pointed at Bias. 'I once told a tale about a winged demon who attacked the Penelope. I said that Bias, the greatest spear thrower in the world, hurled a javelin so powerfully that it tore through the demon's wings and saved the ship from destruction. Bias was so taken with the story that he practised and practised with the javelin, and finally won a great prize at a King's Games. You see? He had become the greatest, because I lied about it. And therefore it was no longer a lie.'
"'I understand,' said Piria. 'And how can the truth be made into a lie?'
"'Ah, lass, that is something none of us can avoid.' Bending down, he scooped up the small clay plate...
"' My point is that truth is a mass of complexities, made up of many parts. What is truth to you?... Truth or lies? Both? It depends upon perception, understanding, belief. So, to return to your original question, it is not hard to make the truth a lie. We do it all the time, and mostly we don't even know it.'"
"She looked up at him. 'Are you in love with me?'...
"He looked into her eyes, and she felt the power of his grey gaze. 'My feelings are my own,' he said at last. 'All I know is that you are sailing for Troy to be with someone you love. If you will allow me I will see you safely there.'
"'I could never love a man in the way that he would desire. You understand that?'
"'Have I asked you to love me?' he countered.
"'No.'
"'Then the problem does not arise.'"
"'There is a darkness in you. In all of us, probably. Beasts we keep chained. Orginary men have to keep the chains strong, for if we let the beast loose then society will turn upon us with a fiery vengeance. Kings though... well, who is there to turn upon them? So the chains are made of straw. It is the curse of kings, Helikaon, that they can become monsters.' He sighed. 'And they invariably do.'"
Good Advice
“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” - Bob Marley
I think it applies to both women AND men don't you?
I think it applies to both women AND men don't you?
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Random Potshots At Strangers
Omegle is a program that connects you to random strangers. Siren introduced this to me cos I was in a bit of a rut.
Now that the beast is released, he's only just gaining momentum. Random potshots at people, AWAY!
Here are a couple of gems from my first 15 minutes online.
Now that the beast is released, he's only just gaining momentum. Random potshots at people, AWAY!
Here are a couple of gems from my first 15 minutes online.
Stranger: heey:)
You: question, what do you feel about seinfeld?
Stranger: umm i dont know why?
You: because i use it for a test for intelligence and general knowledge
You: you passed with flying colours. and for that, i give you... FREEDOM
You have disconnected.
Stranger: I WIN\
You: and as a prize i'll give you the gift of giving. please wire $1,000 to the following bank account Stranger: FU\
Come on, share your best lines with me!
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