It's a hard thing to put down and acknowledge to myself. I thought I got it sorted out, but I guess not yet. I guess it takes as long as it does.
And then I watch this video from Brene Brown on being vulnerable. And her Ted Talk addressing shame. They both hit me like a ton of bricks. It is hard to be open and vulnerable. It is hard because we have to live with uncertainty. It's hard to put yourself out there and love without walls and without certainty. It is hard to be real.
So we all hide. Behind walls, distractions, relationships, sex, work... just anything really, to keep ourselves from dealing with it. It's just TOO hard. Not to say those aren't legitimate things to enjoy, but when they're used to be distracted...
So next projects, giving the best hugs in the world, and see if my instructor will take me for the Iron Palm training for the next 6 months. Oh, and see if I can get my tango legs back.