Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Dance Of Love

The music sets the tempo. Fast, slow. Happy, sad. Sultry, serious. Playful, grave. The dancers build on that music, and give shape to sound, and make the intangible tangible.

In a dance, one leads, another follows. Each role is as important as the other. The dance needs both to be involved, and for a span of time, they are committed.

The man takes the lead, and he takes upon himself the power that the woman willingly offers. He also takes on himself the responsibility of taking care of her for the length of the dance. He guides without hesitation, is clear without being pushy, and she follows. He adjusts to her nuances and shows her off, makes her look good. Looks out for her on the dance floor, keeps her safe. His job, is to make sure he communicates what he wants her to do. Clearly, without ambiguity. All without a single word said. He watches the room, watches her, the world fades. His attention is on the room. His attention is on her.

The woman follows, but she is not inferior or lower in status. She follows the lead because it is her choice, gives the power to the man, so she has more space to fully express herself. She lets herself be led, but in following the signals, throws in her own interpretation. She is free to throw herself into the dance, and express herself fully. She has the attention of everyone in the room, but her eyes are on one.

I was told by my first salsa instructor three important things in dance.

1. The job of the guy is to make her feel good, and look good.
2. Channel Antonio Bandares's confidence.
3. Men spend three times more time practicing than women.

I add a couple more rules.
4. Follow the music and be focused on the woman, and you'll naturally look good. 
5. Lead well.

The moves we learn in class is just more vocabulary. And this is the advice paraphrased from Bruce Lee. Ultimately, it is the expression of oneself through movement. It is the expression of oneself, totally and completely. That way, it is the process of continuing growth. Train, so that when you want it, it is there. The advice works, both for dance, as well as martial arts.

Everyone will cock up in dance. There are a million and one things that might happen. But screw it. The important thing, is to live for the moment. Enjoy the dance, laugh it off, and continue. There's always another song, another beat, and at the end of the day, what matters are not the moves, or how flawless or complex the moves are, but the way you make each other feel. 

Dance and relationships. It's not that different from each other, is it?


airworm said...

There's always another song, another beat, and at the end of the day, ...another dance partner?

Vandalin said...

Always my friend. The end of one dance is the start of another.

Our personal dance ends on the day we believe we are dead.

Vandalin said...

PS make sure the dance ends first before getting another partner though. you don't ever want to walk before the song is over

hildahan said...

I need a LIKE button for your recent entries, dear...

Vandalin said...

hilda, you need to tell me how things are with you. I have not seen or heard from you since got married!

hildahan said...

I know! it's been too long... I've been good, same old same old... Still married with the addition of 2 little tyrants and at the same company. And you? Did u lose your hp along with my number again? ;)

Vandalin said...

Apparently so! And quite obviously my contact number on your phone is outdated. Heh...

send me your number via email and let's catch up!