Monday, October 25, 2010

A Reminder

I am reminded of my sense of self yesterday. Today, I wake up to my favourite weather. Must be doing something right.

I am also reminded that obsession to the point of losing oneself is not good. That anything and everything that causes you to lose that which make you, you is not good. This does not mean that the thing is innately bad. Bad things and tragedy causes loss of self. Sometimes good things too. Awesome sex, the sense of belonging to a group so much so that your sense of self is subsumed (read Fight Club), relationships that start good, but later become overboard one way or another. That the world right now, is a precarious place for balance with so many place for distraction. It just means that one needs a stronger and deeper innate belief and identity.

I am reminded that a true relationship, is one where two individuals come together, and keep building each other up. And the relationship might be stronger than the sum of its parts, but it is still subjected to the limitations of the weakest link. And growth means constant exposure to the elements outside the relationship and change which is the only constant. And the two people who made the decision to commit choosing daily to stay together and support each other. And if one finds someone that he or she can say, "I commit to you." hold that person close. Because finding someone in a world where there are 6 billion, is a rare and beautiful thing.

On the subject of exposure to the outside elements, I believe that every couple needs time off from each other to do their own thing. It is a sure sign of dependence when you cannot find your own me-time anymore, and neediness when you don't even want your me-time. To that end, I propose a "break-up week" every once in a while. I shall elaborate further later.

It is easy to have one party with a strong personality not care and be selfish and maintain his sense of self, and the other going along and "going along with the flow" to the point whereby the latter's sense of self and self worth is defined by the former. For the strong one, there's no loss to him, and one more support crew that he doesn't really care about, is nice to have. For the weaker party, there is an addiction in the giving up of power and letting the other party control his/her decisions. With that loss of power, it also means that anything that goes wrong is the other party's fault. This sense of powerlessness and responsibility on one's own life, can actually be an escape. Escapes are good. Escapes that become addiction, bad.

It is much harder when two individual characters come together, and complement, support each other yet never lose their sense of self. It's like a couple dance. If you have seen June and Jackson dance together, you'll know what I mean. I looked through my blog and I realize, I never wrote about it! My goodness. What have I been doing? Article akan datang.

I apologize for the hiatus from myself and my self. I'm back. And I. Am. Awesome. *flicks hair* And yes, I suit up for the right occasion.

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