Bullseye

I don't subscribe to most personality tests, but this one hits pretty close to the mark. Do your own test here.

You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an environment where you would be able to forge a close bond with a person who can offer full emotional fulfilment.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.

Compromise is the name of the game at this time and it is the only way you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve -so soften up a little, be flexible.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.

You really would like to be completely uninhibited - to let your hair down - but you are held back by your sense of logic and rationalilty, since you realise that by simple stupidity you could lose everything - whatever that may be.

On The Road Again

I remember when I was in Sec 4, I wrote an essay about a backpacker who wandered around the world by himself and while interacting with people, walks off in the sunset by himself. Scored the highest I ever did for an English essay in my life. It was not hard. Three and a half pages writing about myself in an hour flat.

I'm usually seen as an extrovert. Thing is, since young. I had to be extroverted. I think I had a slightly more unsettled time growing up than most. Being friendly and likable was a survival trait. The ability to make small talk a necessary skill.

In university I straddled various cliques. I was closer to certain individuals, but never had a group I could really call my own. Sure it got lonely at times, but it was a price I was willing to pay because I felt it kept me from stagnating, becoming complacent and a box from forming around my mind.

Over the last year, I was in a relationship. It was not a conventional one, but nevertheless the timing of everything seemed like a godsend. The way she fitted against my shoulder amazes me every single time. I thought, here is someone that understands. It was as if I found a twin of my soul that I never knew I had. Lay aside your travels, here is an end of your search. The wanderer has found a companion in his travels.

Alas, it's not to be.

So I guess it's time to move on. Exit stage right, the solitary walk into the sunset or the dark night. Either way, the back is turned, and fades from view, savouring the companion chill of the December rain and denying the comfort of the cloak of self sufficiency and solitude for the moment because it has been a long time since he felt for anyone with this much intensity. 

Thank you for being there when I needed you.
Thank you for a year where ordinary things become beautiful.
Thank you for a million and one things.
Thank you for the pain of leaving, because it reminds me that I can feel again.
And thank you, for making it such that we can still be friends in time to come when I can finally find strength again.

Who knows, maybe paths might one day cross again and different roads may again intertwine.

Just Do It

“Knowing is not enough, you must apply; willing is not enough, you must do.” - Bruce Lee

Listen!

Why is it that in society, we are so starved to have someone listen to us, that we actually have to pay someone hundreds of dollars to sit and listen? Is it really that hard?

I am reminded that one of the best compliment that someone can pay another is to really listen. Suspend your thoughts and preconceptions, look into the person's eyes, and open your heart and mind to what the other person is attempting to communicate. No interruptions but for clarifying, validating and encouraging.

When was the last time anyone actually did something like that for you? When was the last time you did that for someone?

In this age of instant communication, a lot of information gets communicated very quickly, and trees of meaning are too often hidden in the forest of words. I forget also that very often the most effective communicators are the ones that also listen the best.

Compliments

Over the last two weeks, two people have told me that they follow what I write.

Wow.

I didn't know that anyone outside of a few close friends and family even know that the blog exists. After all, I'm not a hot chick, a quotable quote generator, neither do I write all that often. This is cos it takes some time to process experiences and convert thoughts into text and express it coherently.

Thank you for the compliment of reading. I am both glad and humbled. That goes out to every single one of you who take the time to read my ramblings. This started off as a place to put my thoughts on display, invite critique and maybe spur a little controversy. I hope it will always remain so.

Happy Anniversary

They're not expressive people, but in living history, dad has never ever forgot an anniversary, and there'll always be a bunch of flowers in the morning.

Happy Anniverysary dad and mom. And thank you for 32 years of lessons of what it means to be in a relationship and in love.

How Do You Dance Without Being Able To Hear The Music?

Like this. I love Marlee Matlin

Thought Of You

Always liked collaborations between two different artforms. This is pretty amazing. And reflective.


Thought of You from Ryan Woodward on Vimeo.

The Most Intimate Contact Between Two People

is not sex, not kisses, not hugs.

The most intimate contact between lovers, is when they're holding hands.

Kisses you can give to strangers
Hugs to acquintances
Sex can be a commodity, bought and sold between willing parties.

But you can tell how comfortable a couple with each other by the way they hold hands.

Homeward Bound

In the quiet misty morning when the moon has gone to bed,
When the sparrows stop their singing and the sky is clear and red.
When the summer's ceased its gleaming,
When the corn is past its prime,
When adventure's lost its meaning,
I'll be homeward bound in time.

If you find it's me you're missing,
if you're hoping I'll return.
To your thoughts I'll soon be list'ning,
and in the road I'll stop and turn.
Then the wind will set me racing
as my journey nears its end.
And the path I'll be retracing
when I'm homeward bound again.

Bind me not to the pasture,
Chain me not to the plow.
Set me free to find my calling
and I'll return to you somehow.