Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Obsession With Thin

Okay. This is getting out of hand. Who the FUCK decided that the ideal woman should be one that's so frigging skinny that we can lift her and tuck her under the arm and walk off, and not have curves?

And who the FUCK decided to infect the women of the world with this. damn. lie?

I find that person, and he/she/it will take precedence over Mr Murphey in the list of "targets for grievous bodily injury with a blunt spoon."

Let's get some facts out in the open right now.

Ladies, unless you are a "little person", having a weight that starts with a 5 is NORMAL. If you are 170 and above, it is FINE to be over 60kg. Yes, heels are included. And especially when you are born homo sapians, and not homo measurus tapus.

And unless you're related to Wolverine and have metal for a skeleton, or if you are related birds, there is no such thing as heavy-boned or light-boned.

Muscles weigh more than fat. It's FINE to put on weight when you go and exercise. Just. Look. Good.

Smaller waistline, smaller boobs is NOT a good deal.

If you squeeze your belly, thigh, arm, cheek and assorted other body parts, your fingers will close a centimeter apart AT THE VERY LEAST. That, dear biology students, is SKIN. Not fat.



Hourglass good. Normal ladies watches bad.

The woman's worst critics are, in this order: Themselves, Other women, mothers (maybe). Men really don't care all that much.


And all in all, we men appreciate that you ladies dress up for us, but we really prefer you all dressing DOWN. Literally. At the end of the day, the lights are off and we have to go by touch anyway.


And truth of the matter is, that our approach to models are the same as how you women approach Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, or Pierce Brosnan. Nice to have, but strictly optional. If we do end up with one, we probably won't know what to do anyway.


And no matter heavy you are, how much cellulite you have, or little crow's feet come out when you smile, it does not matter.


YOU are the ones we want.

And we will love you and accept you for all that you are, and all that you are not. So quit agonizing over what makes you hot, and focus on what makes you BEAUTIFUL. Like giving an absolutely amazing Blowjob, and swallowing. JUST JOKING!

So there.

14 comments:

eileen` said...

it was a brilliant entry until you had to spoil it with that last bit.

see lah!

Hillary said...

Ditto eileen, lol.

There was this person who said,
"you can't be too rich or too thin."

It's his fault.

jer said...

LOL. Sounds like u're talking about peeps like me? I'm my worst critic, i agree!

Great entry though.. :)

Ah Tiong said...

I hear ya Brudder!!

Vandalin said...

eileen: the last part was relevant too!

hillary: now time to find him, and kill him

jer: go easy on yourself aight?

ah tiong: ^5

Joanna Seow said...

so, i've definitely got a smart cousin. except for that last part :)

cake said...

I AM OVER 60 KG AND I AM BELOW 1.7

SO I AM FAT LA!!!!!

*runs away crying*

Vandalin said...

Joanna: about time you realized

Cakie: you have muscles. Now go and study!

The Horny Bitch said...

vanday, u hurt my sisteh!

SG Fairy said...

you do realise that you're one of the rare few guys who thinks that way, don't you?

The fact is, most guys don't take that view, and so as long as they're like that, society's gonna continue telling us that we're supposed to be thin, and women will continue making themselves puke to achieve that 'ideal' weight.

Excuse me while I go chew on a celery stick...

joanna... said...

no idea who that last person who posted was. but people who make themselves puke? sure, they've got their obsession with thin, but it's not just that - there's more to it. it's not always about achieving that ideal weight, there are tons of other things that can cause someone to purge..just kindda thought i'd say that-

Lucky Draw said...

nice share, thanks a lot

Anonymous said...

sigh. I think I have already shared my thoughts on that on plurk. So yes, a woman is automatically beautiful if she is confident.

Men smell confidence, not measure your waistline.

I can't fit into any of my jeans anymore.

So what? just dun wear lah??

but I must say... it does hurt if a boyfriend says you are fat... and look ugly in this or that because you are too fat. OFTEN. even in front of sales people.

insensitivity is a bane for some men...



what to do?

*shrugs*.


=p

cake said...

automatically beautiful because of confidence?

then steven lim must be fucking hot.

or does this only apply for women? xu chun mei is really confident too. would you call her beautiful?