Come Out Awesome

It was an SMS conversation with a friend. But it was also a promise to myself.

There are several ways that things might turn out. One way or another. I'm gonna come out better, stronger, hotter, and awesomer. *flicks hair*

I rule.

Ancient Wisdom

I read somewhere that the ancient American Indians mastered the art of living for the moment and enjoying it.

In waiting, they savour the anticipation, and the emotion of waiting. While there is the anxiousness of a resolution and the eagerness of the end, they are aware of their feelings, and their surroundings, and they take pleasure in the emotion.

The end of the road is something to be treasured and it is true. But so is every step of the journey.

PS. Do not forget the REAL end of the road is death. That is the certainty. Now LIVE dammit!

Expectations In Relationships

Expectations in relationships. Why do we have them?
Do we really prize stability and the opportunity to stagnate so much?

As my uncle lie in hospital today, a particular point is forcefully brought home into my very thick skull.

Eventually, nothing in the world is sure. There are so many things that might happen that is out of our control.

Feelings, accidents, sickness, death. The future is one seething mass of potential and uncertainty. Anything can happen, and as Murphy's law will have it, shit happens 90% of the time. You just have to hope that the remaining 10% is worth it.

In an effort to preserve a semblance of stability and continuity, we force expectations onto our partners and attempt to fit the future we cannot control into a mould and and manifest it in a contract. Sometimes the contract is tacit, unwritten. Others, we put our names on it, and sign it with ink, as if the act will lend some kind of permanence against the enthropy and chaos of the future.

Don't get me wrong. If marriage is a manifestation of two people's deep and abiding desire and commitment to be together, I think we should celebrate it. As I get older, I find it harder and harder to find this thing called love, and to have two people truly commit the rest of their lives to something like that.

In fact, I think the probability is so small that one can only name such an improbable occurance fate and reinforce the possibility that there is a higher power which gives a shit. For those who have committed to each other, I admire you for doing something I cannot honestly say I can conceive, much less go through.


Then this brings me to the question of just what the hell do I want?

I want someone who is with me because she wants to be with me. Physically, mentally and emotionally.

Someone who talks to me because she enjoys talking to me and likes my company, who can listen and share her opinions without imposing, and I want to do the same for her.

While we care for the other's needs, we also indulge in our own desires.  We fuck, because we want to. Because we are hungry for each other or have needs to fulfill. It is not making love. It is satisfying a need. And we do it with each other because we prefer it. If it's tender and gentle, it is because we feel good doing it that way. If it is rough, hard, and dirty, it is also because that is how we like it.


Someone who accepts me for who I am. All the failings, mistakes and insecurities of the past, the idiosyncrasies of the present and the potential disappointments and celebrations of the future. Someone who is there with me, but does not force fit my path in life to hers, and vice versa.

Perhaps two people can be companions. Choosing to stay together because they want to. Not expecting more, because nobody knows what the future is. The insecurity of a non-traditional relationship without obligation then prevents the stagnation, because unfortunately for humans, it is only when the end is nigh, and obvious, do we really learn to treasure that which we have.

Then so be it. Let us enjoy the now, and never let us take each other for granted, or fit the other into an expectation of obligation. Just want, need, and the preferential satisfaction of being with each other at that instant.

After all, there is no future. There is only the ever present and moving now for us to savour.

Footnote: It was always a little disturbing to me when I was younger that this song does not neither mentions love, nor a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I am starting to understand that perhaps that which has limited
my understanding is my own boxed perceptions and flawed understanding of relationships.

No Regrets

Heard this song on Britain's got Talent sang by the plucky Janey Cutler. Came back, and found the lyrics after some searching. After all, it's not exactly a pop song. But what lyrics.



Here are the lyrics

No, no regrets
No, we will have no regrets
As you leave, I can say
Love was king, but for only a day

No, no regrets
No, let there be no regrets
Why explain
Why delay
Don't go away
Simply call it a day

Pleading moments we knew
I will set them apart
Ev'ry word, ev'ry sign
Will be burned in my heart
But no tears will be shed
There'll be no one to blame
Let it always be said
We attempted what came

No, no regrets
No, we will have no regrets
As you leave, I can say
Love was king, but for only a day

Life still goes on
Yes, even though love has gone
One last kiss
Shrug and sigh
No Regrets even though it's goodbye

Post Script: Apparently Janey Cutler didn't win. But my goodness, what an amazing way to celebrate a woman who lives the song that shot her to fame!

Now Where Is That Other Shoe?

A friend once told me, that relationships survive and thrive on two pillars, love and respect. Perhaps that is what appeals to both sides of the human equation. The logical and the emotional parts.

Most sales people would tell you that decisions are emotional. And logic exists to justify the emotion. In a relationship, that's particularly true. Why does one choose a particular person over another? Why him, or her and not another? It's this emotion, love. Inexplicable, illogical and honestly quite simple.

The traits that you admire about that person gives you logical reasons for you to find the person attractive. But to decide at the end of the day why? It's love. If that is gone, well, nothing you can say or do, can keep a person by your side.

The other pillar, respect. Once the decision is made, it's a matter of respect and understanding. Who that person is, what his character is like, and crafting a relationship that is more than the sum of its parts. In the words of my darling sis, "accepting the person for who he or she is, and then growing together." That's respect.

Lose one or the other, and you don't have a relationship. Me? There have been twice in my life the emotional component went away, and quite frankly I live with a background concern that it might happen again. But till then, even if it might be inevitable, one can only hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.

Regardless of Race, Language or Religion

I was headed for JKD today when I bumped into a friend of mine who told me about a run in with two Ang Mohs on the MRT that were drinking beer and smoking. Yup, IN the MRT.

They were rude, and when a lady told them to stub out the ciggies, they essentially told her to piss off cos they paid so much money to smoke in Singapore. Eventually, they got shoved off at the next stop.

My friend then told me how much she hated Ang Mohs then.

A few questions then come to mind.


Is bad behaviour limited to ang mohs in Singapore? We are not exactly pillars of grace and culture either, even in our own country are we? If there is one thing that transcends time, space and skin colour, it's asshole behaviour and arrogance. especially when drunk.

Is this how the people in other countries view the ungracious Singaporean? Especially when we flash our money ard and act all superior.

Are we guilty of racism as well?

And finally, on the topic of employment, no, I do not despise or condemn the "foreign talent" that come to Singapore to work, getting an expat package and all.

Nope, if there's anyone to blame, i blame 1. the companies that believe it necessary, 2. the circumstance that cause the companies that believe so, and 3. our own people that did not step up to the plate.

Because let's face it. a good number of us just aren't that good at communicting, nor are we gonna step out of our comfort zone to get better. And communication, is more than half the game in a business environment.

So when it comes to our pledge, if we wanna bitch at being prejudiced against, isn't it about time we did something about it ourselves rather than have the gahmen intervene?

Thoughts At 4am

Maybe,just maybe. Convenience is also a kind of fate.

picture from here.

Some Of the Best Words of Philosophy I Have Seen So Far

Some of the best bits in the entire interview:

That all knowledge is self knowledge in the end.

That martial arts is the honest expression of oneself through movement.

That ultimately we are human beings. And are all one family under the sky, and people are just different.

Aspirations

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

A Long Way To Go

Now a great meal is one that evokes emotion. And I gotta say, the invite from TK to the Tiffin Club evoked several.

Envy - I have no idea how in the world chef Iskandar came up with his menu. But I gotta say, it was inspired. I wish I had the same inspiration.

Demoralized - The road is LONNNGGG for me to even think about going professional. He set the bar ridiculously high.

Motivated - The hope that SOME DAY I'll be able to cook at that level, if not with the same style.

For an actual review of the food, check out my food blog. But then again, it's no foodie page. It's just my own little space to mess around with food, and concentrate all my food related stuff.

Nevertheless, thank you, TK for the opportunity to try the food and open my eyes to the ONLY fusion food that I actually ever liked. Thank you siren and ting for the lovely company, and thank you chef Iskandar, for a meal that stretched the imagination of what is possible with food.

Let's Not Get Personal

Right, so the YOG has started and personally I echo Seinfeld's sentiment that any sport that brings nations together is a good thing.

Let's again make this clear. I am FOR having the YOG organized in Singapore and for all the inconvenience that it brings us for the 2 weeks, I'm actually pretty alright about everything. Then again, I usually take the MRT so I have not actually seen the YOG buses with their mobile "get-the fuck-outta-the-way" cams.

In a strange way, I'm even okay that we blew our budget and overshot by 3 times. It's fine. This is the first ever Youth Olympic Games and frankly if that is what it takes to put up a good show, I say go for it.

Now the ONE thing I have a bone to pick, is the ORGANIZATION of the event.
First up, I don't know when the preparation for the YOG started, but it sure as hell sounds like a lot of things are only done last minute.

Sure, there were a fair amount of hype a couple of years ago when we first got the YOG hosting. The committee asked for volunteers, got some things in place, then everything tapered off and it was all quiet for a couple of years.

What we see now, seems to be a hodge-podge of last minute efforts by people who's trying not to fuck up too badly under scrutiny.

Sure, it's the first ever Youth Olympics, and Mr. Murphy is always at play. But still, some things just should not happen. Really.

• The food is ridiculous.
• The athlete's village look like a concentration camp and is all the way over in NTU because somebody decided to comandeer the halls of residence.
• Last minute raises in budgets. Come on folks. If you have been planning and putting consistent effort into the whole organization, you'd see a consistently increase in the budget, not a last minute spike like this.
• The YOG cheer song by JJ Lin. I don't blame him actually. I blame the tone deaf midget who approved it.
• The whole marketing effort is slipshod and last minute, and frankly, simply BS.

I am concerned, that the best story that come out of the entire gig, was Low Wei Jie. If the National Sports Council had half a mind. Enlist this boy to be a national runner dammit! 15km in the rain, carrying a camera, in slippers, UNDER 2.5 hours? FUCK!
Now I'm proud of our boys and gals who are competing in the sports, whether they win the medals or not. I am proud that they trained, and lived the dream. Even for a while. I am proud of each and everyone who put in blood, sweat and tears who in one way or another contributed to the spirit of the Olympics.

What I am NOT proud of, is the way we screwed up the organization of such a historic event, the politics, the red tape, the bureaucracy and all the BS that led up to it.

PS. You think we can install the "get the fuck outta the way" cams onto ambulances, police cars and fire trucks once the YOG buses are done with them? It irritates the hell out of me that there are stupid drivers who would block the way of the REALLY important vehicles.

It's Not Me, It's You.

Let me make something clear.

This is not a rant about the state of the public transport system in Singapore. In fact, over Tao Huay with my buddy Ridz I actually defended the quality of the Singapore public transport.

For the record, I think the bus and MRT network in Singapore is pretty good. Not great. Not flawless, but pretty good all in all.No. This is a rant about the arrogance of the powers that be, and the way they talk down to the rest of us like we're either stupid, blind, ignorant, resigned or all of the above.

On a separate note, let me again state for the record, that I understand the necessity of privatization and a good working relationship between government watchdog bodies and privatized monopolies in Singapore. I do not condone the cronyism but that's another story for another time.Now why do I think the powers that be are arrogant bastards who, after lifetime of sitting on the laurels of that our forefathers have worked their asses off to put our country on the map, have become complacent, snobby and pretty much treat the rest of us as lambs for the fleecing? Let's review.

1. Over the last few months, we have been loaded with just how wonderful the new distance-based fare system is.

Suddenly, inconsistencies start surfacing. Expected really. Nobody implements a nation-wide public transport plan without glitches. In fact, the fact, that they can roll it out with so FEW is a feather they can put on their hats.

But COME ON GUYS, SMRT boasts that it moves 2 million people a day. You'd think someone would notice by now after about 80 million commuter trips that there's SOME discrepancy between actual price paid, and the ads that inundate us at every turn yes?

So when problems with pricing are brought up, ADDRESS IT. Don't shoot yourself in the foot and give bullshit reasons.

2. Just to add onto the questions abt public transport, why is it that if you get onto the same numbered bus right after getting off, it's immediately considered a new trip?

3. An informal poll among friends tell me that the 30 odd percent of people who pay more have their fares increased by at least ten cents. The maximum trip on buses have been raised from $1.30 to $1.90.

The ones whose fares are reduced dropped by five cents or under.

No change in cost. Simple math shows, (Ms Loi would be proud of me) Profit maintained or increased. The implications? Go figure.

But then again SBS, SMRT and TIBS are privatised organizations whose bottom line needs to be maintained.

4. In July, SMRT mentions that trains are already pushing optimal limits when the trains are running between 2 to 3 minutes.

Suddenly, during YOG, the optimal limits get revised, and we have 300 extra trips a day.

Makes one wonder just how much extra capacity SMRT actually has.
5. Weren't our bus and MRT fares revised upwards last year or the year before because oil prices rose? Somebody help me with this. Now that it's down by half, any difference in the fare price?

6. Originally, the intention of EZ link cards when it was first launched in 2002 WAS distance based fares. or rather that was what I remembered. The distance based fares took 8 years to implement. Well done.
Eventually, when it comes down to the crunch, Singaporeans will have to suck it up won't we? And the cost of every other option is way more expensive. So what can we do? Walk?

Still, all in all. There is a cost for living in Singapore, and this is it. As is always been my policy when it comes to all the BS that comes out of government or government related organizations. Live and let live.

If I want to stay here, there's nothing I can do, nor am I willing to go the distance to attempt to change the SYSTEM in Singapore. I don't expect the powers that be to do me any favours, neither am I gonna do them any. But seriously, you think it's possible for SMRT to at least consider using a tad of that $306 million profit to hire a new PR agency?

Inspiration To Cook

After watching "Julie and Julia", I'm inspired towards themed cooking.

Maybe something a little easier to start, and then carry on from there, and then blog all my progress...

So now the thoughts in my head.

1. Pick up a cookbook and cook my way through aka Julie and Julia.

2. Start something with a theme and then find recipes to fit: I'm thinking all the recipes that are easy but look impressive, and good for men who don't really know their way around the kitchen. "Foolproof Recipes for the Single Male on date night"

3. Find all the recipes that might be lost through time, learn them and write them down. Let's start with my mom's recipes, and then let it spread to all the others.

So which should I start with first, and which one sounds better?

Inspiration from Rocky Balboa

He gave us more than boxing, and the song "Eye of the Tiger"

Honour And Reputation

"I wouldn't have called it a lecture. Just a useful distinction, to clarify thought." He spread his hand, palm up, in a gesture of balance. "Reputation is what other people know about you. Honour is what you know about yourself."

"Hm"

"The friction tends to araise when the two are not the same..."

"... There is no more hollow feeling than to stand with your honour shattered at your feet while soaring public reputation wraps you in rewards. That's soul-destroying. The other way around is merely very, very irritating."

..."But if you're really asking for advice from my accumulated experience, I'm saying, Guard your honour. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards"

- A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold

Who says you don't learn anything useful from Sci Fi?

I May Never Cross At A Traffic Light Again...

Being the second oldest guy at a Parkour workshop simply means that I'll just have to push a little harder than the rest of the boys.

It also means that I need to push my sadly out of shape body a little more.

Is the pain worth it? TOTALLY.


What have I learnt from 2 hours of learning how to vault, roll and jump from slightly insane positions and circumstances?

I might not be able to jump exactly like these bunch of jokers...



But I sure as HELL can fall damn prettily.

Now for the my next trick, actually surviving the urban freestyle run. ONWARDD!!

For those of you who are interested to find out more about parkour, look here.

And for those who are interested in the run, sign up here!

Epiphany of the Day

If everybody ate desserts for breakfast, the world would be healthier, and people will actually be HAPPY to wake up in the morning.

Consent

this is classic.

And This One Is Absolutely Classic

From the best Robin Hood movie ever made: Men in Tights

Classic. Fucking Classic