Another Murphy's Best

I went for my friend's wedding a couple of weeks ago and I have come to the realization, that EVERY, SINGLE TIME the guests throw petals at somebody's wedding,

SOMEONE MUST WHACK THE PETALS INTO THE BRIDE'S FACE.

It's a universal constant, like cats not being able to cross the roads and Edmund's handphone number.

Speaking of which, does anyone know what you're listening for when you whack a melon at the supermarket? A good crisp C-Sharp?

Blessings

I've been worried for my friends in Myanmar over the last few days. Every time the news flash, my eyes search the crowd, half-dreading, half-hoping to see a familiar face.

My university internship was done in Yangon, at the then-Hotel Equitorial. I asked for a posting absolutely ANYWHERE in the world but Singapore, and I got it. Nobody knows about Myanmar then. It was a closed country. Nobody I know has been there, or even knows someone who's been to the place.

The 6 weeks I spent there humbled me. It made me grateful for the things I have here, in Singapore. At the same time, I learnt so much about sharing and about graciousness and about happiness.

The folks over there don't have a lot. Even now, if you have a $200 salary, you can raise a family, and stay in an apartment in town. They will cook little dishes, pack them into metal tiffins for lunch, AND THEY'LL ALWAYS COOK MORE. Not just one or two portions, but 4 or 5 portions, just so they can share it with friends.

I remember one lunch I had with the marketing department. 16 dishes going around, and everyone was so eager for me to try their cooking. The sheer generosity of that one gesture, as well as the overeating, floored me.

My colleauges had the perception that Singaporeans are really stuck up, and their noses were always up in the air, with a frown on the face. They asked why that's the case, since we have so much, and live in a country, where, compared to THEIR government, ours are frigging left wing liberals of the first degree.

I could not answer them. But I did come back to Singapore with the intention to grin at every person I meet stoically till they started smiling back.

The people in Myanmar are an innocent people. A lot of times they wear their hearts on their sleeves and are easy going to a fault. Maybe that's why the military junta can be in power for so long. Maybe that's why they get trampled on and they just bore with it.

Now, well... right now, I just pray that my friends over there are alright, and that they survive through whatever comes in their uncertain future.

6 Months I Tried...

But I still can't get it right.

Tonight though... Tonight.

How I'm Going To Pass My Next Driving Test

See, now, THIS is how you should be parallel parking.

Lessons from Sitcoms

From the Sitcom "How I Met Your Mother", when Patrick tries to excuse himself from setting Ted up with an "escort" that turns out to be really a Paralegal

"Look, you knew that Mary was a sure thing. If you were that confident with all the other women in your life, you'd get laid a lot more often!"

Or something like that.

True, how true.

Question of the Day

From the segment of "English as It Is Broken",

Reality is a opposite of Illusion.

And if dis-illusion is the getting rid of illusion, which has negative connotations, why is it then usually used in a negative context?

Does this point to the necessity of false notions in order for life as socially accepted humans?

Or the eagerness of people to take the moral high ground that they are without pretense, which in ITSELF is most probably illusion?

"The World according to Edmund" HAH!

On a side note, sod standard English. Meeting so many people from so many places in the world, I have come to the conclusion that a "Standard" is largely only understood by a small portion of the world's population.

Communication, not grammer correct-ness should be be order of the day.

Josh Blue

Embrace who you are and what you can be.



And the world embraces you.

PS. He won Last Comic Standing in 2006. Booya.

Do You Believe in Love?

No extravagant gestures.
No eternal promises.
No elaborate speech.

In sickness and in health, till death do us part.



*Sniff*

Go Watch 881

It's completely OTT, overly dramatic, and people are liable to break out into song every 5 minutes instead of talking properly.

In other words, a pretty good musical-movie.

Oh, the fact that there are 4 really good looking women, and a man with a big white cock in it shows how we are catering to ALL levels of enjoyment.

Stupidity

Define stupidity.

Is ignorance stupidity? No. That's just the lack of knowledge.

What about the refusal to see or understand facts? Shaky. That's just being obstinate. For that matter, what ARE facts?

Then if someone has got a brain, but is refusing to use it. Is that stupid? Lazy, complacent. Or maybe just plain arrogant.

Not making sense. Well, most of the really brilliant people don't make sense to us anyway. Then are they considered stupid, at least, to us?

Not being logical. Sod it, most of us aren't anyway. If you can explain exactly WHY you like a colour more than another, or a particular kind of look, or a handphone model, or a man, woman or animal, tell me. If you want to function in this world, you're probably 95% illogical.

If you watched MTV, or Youtube, or any one of the dozen means by which completely excessive, pointless acts of physical, mental and property destruction are perpetuated and very possibly imitated and propogated, you start to think that these people are geniuses.

People who have reached the point of non-sense, and then gone out the other side. Nobody gets that inane without inborn talent followed by years of practice, enormous amounts of planning, and very possibly too many hours of completely destructive use of time.

So what the HELL is stupidity? Are most of us then stupid? Do we even qualify?

And isn't it completely stupid for you to be reading a post on stupidity? Or me for writing it?

Stupid people of the world, UNITE!

Missed Calls

I HATE ANONYMOUS CALLS.

One missed call when I'm sleeping without caller-ID. Fine. 3 missed calls. That's a little much.

Then I go to the toilet. Past the point of no return, one more time.

In the middle of an overseas call, AGAIN. I switch over, and the person puts the fucking phone down.

I take a shower, and the phone rings. Guess who, yup. Phantom caller. Nearly kill myself getting out of the shower, and miss the call again. 3 FUCKING seconds the person can't hold on.

And to add insult to injury, now the phone stares back at me, not. a. peep.

Nabeh.

Perils in Nude Modelling

This is FANTASTIC.

Catch the twist at the end.

Just realized that the embedded player doesn't work. So click here.

This is HILARIOUS

"President Bush recently had some polyps removed from his colon. Sometimes polyps can turn cancerous, but I doubt his are. After all, President Bush hasn’t had much luck finding weapons of ass destruction."

- The Dilbert Blog

HA HA HA!

Celebrity Look Alike

I've gotten so many comments that I look like the bad guy from the 7pm TCS 8 show that I think I am condemned by the majority of the auntie population in Singapore.

Siggh...

On the plus side, I will NEVER, EVER wear pink on a daily basis. My last birthday doesn't count.

FINALLY ONE.

Finally. Someone took a good picture of me. YES!!!! Thanks HB! See what I mean by leaving the job to the experts?

I'm shiny... heh heh heh...

Only time I look human is when I have no hair.

The Bits Romance Authors Miss

"If you want your Prince Charming to ride in on a horse, expect him to smell like one too."

- ME. In a conversation with a friend about men and women.

Lost My Phone. Again.

Nabeh. I swear. I will find a detonator, fix it in my next hand phone, and fucking blow the hand off the bastard who steals it. Time for some Old Testament justice for fuckers who steal handphones.

Oh, if ya'll reading this, MSN, email, call, and gimme your phone number again. Aight?

Age VS Maturity

"Age has NOTHING on maturity. It just means that the person's got more practice being a kid."

- ME. In a conversation with a friend at 3:30am.

Transformers

Now THAT'S a proper Transformer's episode with some backbone.

Oh and NC-16 language.

One Day

I hope that...

I am Asian by descent, Singaporean by birth, International in outlook.

I am proud of my roots, so much so I can meet people and appreciate their difference.

I am confident enough to acknowledge my inadequacies, and learn from everyone that I meet.

I am loud enough to get an echo from another person's soul.

I listen to the space between words, and hear what someone is trying to say, not the words he is speaking.

I am attractive, not handsome.

I am wealthy, AND rich.

I have knowledge, and wisdom enough to use it.

Oh and I reckon I'll get married by 75. If I believe I am mature enough for marriage.