"CRAB" Service

Now generally, I have no complaints about service in Singapore. Seriously. I'm an easygoing kinda guy, and if I happen to go a few more times to a place, I end up knowing more of the staff by name anyway. Nevertheless, last Friday was like a textbook case of things NOT to do. And so, consider this my public service as a corporate trainer, on a cautionary tale of bad service.

It was a typical muggy night in Singapore. My three friends and I were looking for a place for dinner, and we figured to head to town. Eventually, after some deliberation, we decided on Standing Sushi near Singapore Art Museum. The evening starts off normal. We were shown our seats, our orders taken, and our drinks served.

And here is where things started going downhill. But let's have some positive lessons anyway.


Lesson 1: If the staff forgets an order, let the customer know.

We can all understand that when it comes to busy periods, things get left out. But honestly, if a zi char uncle at a kopitiam can remember table number, special orders, and a million other nitty gritty details, a restaurant that charges 10% service and 7% GST, has an order form, and only 4 tables to serve for the evening should be able to get the orders right the first time.

Nevertheless, if a server has really forgotten orders, basic service recovery dictates service staff to apologize, reassure the customer that the ticket has gone in RIGHT NOW, and how long it will take for the order to be processed. Do not leave a customer hanging. It irritates the hell out of the person, especially if he or she is hungry.

If a customer has to ask three times for the same item, seriously BAD idea, and "coming, coming" is only acceptable in a hawker centre. 

I once remember eating at Pierside Kitchen and Bar where the chef sent complimentary crabcakes because the appetizers would be delayed by ten minutes. That was served to my table 10 minutes after the orders went in. It was at least 4 years ago, but I remember it to this day.

Lesson 2: If the missing dish is not served by the END of the meal, it's too late to serve it by then.

Of course it takes some time for the kitchen to prepare any dish, especially when the order is missed out at the start. But if you have already cleared the table of everyone else at the table, it is generally way too late to serve the dish.

Ask your customer if he or she would still like it served. If not, suck it up. The fault was yours in the first place. And never EVER make it sound like you are doing your customer a favour when you tell them you're not charging them for the dish.

Lesson 3: Even if the fault was not yours, say "I'm Sorry."

And if the fault is yours, all the more, apologize. And whatever the customer demands, do not come across condescending and never EVER use the phrase, "if you want to complain, never mind one, go ahead."

Seriously, the hole is deep enough, you really do not have to dig it any deeper.

Lesson 4: It is NEVER about the money.

It is never about not getting charged for an item not served, nor is it about the $20 for soft shelled crab. It is about making sure that your customers know that you value them. And the higher one charges, the more customers expect. And yes, one massively pissed off customer can do worlds of damage to a restaurant's reputation.

Lesson 5: Arguing with your customer is ALWAYS a bad idea. 

The absolute WORST idea in the entire book, is actually arguing with your customer.

Telling your customer, "You ordered at 8:45 and the time now is 9pm, and your friends have finished for some time, that's not half an hour." then after that going into the kitchen, taking out only ONE ticket for the missing item, waving it in the face of the customer, and smugly going, "see the ticket says 845" is not only calling your customer a liar in his face, being completely biased, and all in all, a really really stupid move.

Even if it was the customer's fault for being demanding, and expecting his food served in five or ten minutes, that is the customer's prerogative. To be arguing about timing after taking orders, serving everyone else at the table, have everyone finish eating both appetizers AND main course, and clearing the table with a hungry customer who's obviously peeved because he is unable to have dinner WITH his friends and would have to eat all by himself if he chose to accept the order, is nothing short of suicidal.

So at the end of the evening, does it really matter then who's right, and who's wrong, or even if they waived the charges for the rice or for anything else. The fact of the matter is that the evening was spoilt by $20, and there is a good chance I shall never, ever eat there again. On top of that, good chance, neither are any of my friends.

And that, my friends is a story of bad service, and the lessons we can take away.

Current Speculations

Outside of work, here are the thoughts that are currently running through my head.

1. You know how it is that success coaches like asking this question, "if you do not have any limit on money and time, what would you do?" How would you change if you removes the limit on youth and time, if you can live forever.

2. To what extent is one willing to go to prolong life before morality kicks in?

3. Do women feel the need to dumb down when they are with guys? Do men feel the need to "macho up" in the presence of attractive women? How are these actions, if there were any, actually perceived by the other parties? 

No thought killer application to shut them down leh...

Tis Is The Day

Game Face On
Today, 2011 truly begins.

Some dreams are shelved for now.
Some emotions put on hold.
Some energies redirected.

There is work to do, trash to take out and butts to kick.
Welcome to the first day of the next 5 years.
Welcome to another milestone in life.

In the words of my old platoon commander before a full pack fast march at dawn, "This is gonna be fun."

What Is Love?

What is love, that makes it the simplest, and the most complicated emotion in the world to understand?
What is love, that makes someone go through hell and high water, and be willing to try again?
What is love, that brings two people together and keeps them together even though logic dictates otherwise?
What is love, that make strangers friends, and friends become lovers, while others falter?
What is love, that makes someone choose a football club, a country, a discipline or a sport, or a person over all others?

What is love, that makes a person try, and keep trying, even though his efforts are doomed from the start?
What is love, that it never, ever matters the circumstances where it starts, or who it is, as long the end IS love?
What is love, that makes one dream more significant than all the others, and we burn our lives chasing it and count it well spent?
What is love, that makes us find beauty in ordinary things, and the holding of two hands the most intimate of human contact?
What is love, that pushes two people to dedicate their lives into a commitment to each other?
What is love, that makes it the root of the most painful and most pleasurable feelings in the human vocabulary and experience?
What is love, that makes all the analysis of a relationship, all the articles and research written on it, redundant?

What is love, that for all the qualities one can name for another that you like, none of them are the reason why you love them?
What is love, that for all the restlessness and need in the human soul, one can finally put down his burden and go, "I am home", even if for a moment?

What is love, that for all the rules in the world that one sets for oneself, eventually there is only one. The heart wants what the heart wants. End of story.

All I know now, after 32 years, is that I have no answers.
All I know, is that it is exceedingly rare, heart-stoppingly beautiful and precious.
All I know, is that love has no reason, and that as long as it exists, no matter how torn and battered it might be, give it every single opportunity to thrive and grow. And if it is already dead, then nothing one can do can bring it back to life.

For those of you who have a special someone, I envy you. I read a quote once, that the only time in life when you have problems is when you're dead. Such is love. The day you have no more trouble from love, is the day that love is dead.

I would take all the issues, baggage, fights, quarrels, pain, anger and tribulation, for that one chance to love and be loved. And if you have it or a chance at it, dear reader. Treasure it. Guard it with your life. Don't let pride, anger, history, self doubt, jealousy, or the mundaneness of everyday life kill it. At the same time, if it is not there, let go. But after you have tried every. single. thing.

And if ever you or your significant other forget, refer him or her to me. I'll set ya'll straight in a jiffy.

Alone Again, Naturally.

I am happy for the both of you. It is easier to be angry, to rant, and to jump and walk away. Anger is a much simpler solution. But I cannot. It feels right, even to me. The conviction, the openness, I would have given anything and everything for it to be for me. But hey, Good Luck Ed eh?

I envy those with a special someone. I read somewhere that the only time when you have no more trouble in your life, is when you die. Well, guess what, same thing with relationships. And I'll trade every quarrel, every fight, every irritation and rant to have that special someone in my life. So those of you who do, appreciate him or her. If your significant other doesn't appreciate you, send them my way.

Humour is my shield. It's just easier on everyone, and the devil-may-care sometimes funny extroverted clown is a familiar role. Because really, how many people care enough to listen, and understand?

As for opening my heart, well... heh. I don't think I have ever loved someone quite as much. Or saw so much of myself in someone. I don't think I will, for a long, long time to come.

It's time to go back to being alone again. Oh I'll be fine. I'll feel sorry for myself and be lonely on my own time rather than burden those around me with it. Permit me one night to grief. One night to let it all hang loose and be sad and sorry for myself. One night where I wrap my loneliness around me and cry my heart out.

I wish you both the best from the bottom of my heart. Really and truly. I know everything will work out for the both of you. Now wish me back, as empty as it would sound to me right now, that maybe there really is someone out there for me and that I'll find her before long.

Bullseye

I don't subscribe to most personality tests, but this one hits pretty close to the mark. Do your own test here.

You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an environment where you would be able to forge a close bond with a person who can offer full emotional fulfilment.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.

Compromise is the name of the game at this time and it is the only way you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve -so soften up a little, be flexible.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.

You really would like to be completely uninhibited - to let your hair down - but you are held back by your sense of logic and rationalilty, since you realise that by simple stupidity you could lose everything - whatever that may be.

On The Road Again

I remember when I was in Sec 4, I wrote an essay about a backpacker who wandered around the world by himself and while interacting with people, walks off in the sunset by himself. Scored the highest I ever did for an English essay in my life. It was not hard. Three and a half pages writing about myself in an hour flat.

I'm usually seen as an extrovert. Thing is, since young. I had to be extroverted. I think I had a slightly more unsettled time growing up than most. Being friendly and likable was a survival trait. The ability to make small talk a necessary skill.

In university I straddled various cliques. I was closer to certain individuals, but never had a group I could really call my own. Sure it got lonely at times, but it was a price I was willing to pay because I felt it kept me from stagnating, becoming complacent and a box from forming around my mind.

Over the last year, I was in a relationship. It was not a conventional one, but nevertheless the timing of everything seemed like a godsend. The way she fitted against my shoulder amazes me every single time. I thought, here is someone that understands. It was as if I found a twin of my soul that I never knew I had. Lay aside your travels, here is an end of your search. The wanderer has found a companion in his travels.

Alas, it's not to be.

So I guess it's time to move on. Exit stage right, the solitary walk into the sunset or the dark night. Either way, the back is turned, and fades from view, savouring the companion chill of the December rain and denying the comfort of the cloak of self sufficiency and solitude for the moment because it has been a long time since he felt for anyone with this much intensity. 

Thank you for being there when I needed you.
Thank you for a year where ordinary things become beautiful.
Thank you for a million and one things.
Thank you for the pain of leaving, because it reminds me that I can feel again.
And thank you, for making it such that we can still be friends in time to come when I can finally find strength again.

Who knows, maybe paths might one day cross again and different roads may again intertwine.

Just Do It

“Knowing is not enough, you must apply; willing is not enough, you must do.” - Bruce Lee

Listen!

Why is it that in society, we are so starved to have someone listen to us, that we actually have to pay someone hundreds of dollars to sit and listen? Is it really that hard?

I am reminded that one of the best compliment that someone can pay another is to really listen. Suspend your thoughts and preconceptions, look into the person's eyes, and open your heart and mind to what the other person is attempting to communicate. No interruptions but for clarifying, validating and encouraging.

When was the last time anyone actually did something like that for you? When was the last time you did that for someone?

In this age of instant communication, a lot of information gets communicated very quickly, and trees of meaning are too often hidden in the forest of words. I forget also that very often the most effective communicators are the ones that also listen the best.

Compliments

Over the last two weeks, two people have told me that they follow what I write.

Wow.

I didn't know that anyone outside of a few close friends and family even know that the blog exists. After all, I'm not a hot chick, a quotable quote generator, neither do I write all that often. This is cos it takes some time to process experiences and convert thoughts into text and express it coherently.

Thank you for the compliment of reading. I am both glad and humbled. That goes out to every single one of you who take the time to read my ramblings. This started off as a place to put my thoughts on display, invite critique and maybe spur a little controversy. I hope it will always remain so.

Happy Anniversary

They're not expressive people, but in living history, dad has never ever forgot an anniversary, and there'll always be a bunch of flowers in the morning.

Happy Anniverysary dad and mom. And thank you for 32 years of lessons of what it means to be in a relationship and in love.

How Do You Dance Without Being Able To Hear The Music?

Like this. I love Marlee Matlin

Thought Of You

Always liked collaborations between two different artforms. This is pretty amazing. And reflective.


Thought of You from Ryan Woodward on Vimeo.

The Most Intimate Contact Between Two People

is not sex, not kisses, not hugs.

The most intimate contact between lovers, is when they're holding hands.

Kisses you can give to strangers
Hugs to acquintances
Sex can be a commodity, bought and sold between willing parties.

But you can tell how comfortable a couple with each other by the way they hold hands.

Homeward Bound

In the quiet misty morning when the moon has gone to bed,
When the sparrows stop their singing and the sky is clear and red.
When the summer's ceased its gleaming,
When the corn is past its prime,
When adventure's lost its meaning,
I'll be homeward bound in time.

If you find it's me you're missing,
if you're hoping I'll return.
To your thoughts I'll soon be list'ning,
and in the road I'll stop and turn.
Then the wind will set me racing
as my journey nears its end.
And the path I'll be retracing
when I'm homeward bound again.

Bind me not to the pasture,
Chain me not to the plow.
Set me free to find my calling
and I'll return to you somehow.

Martial Philosophy

The relentless pursuit of the definition of self. Acceptance.

Training is, through the use of my body, to understand myself, and to have the ability to call on honest and true expression of myself when I want it. To solidify determination, and move.

Constant questioning,
Constant curiosity,
Experience, integrate, grow.

Welcome Darkness My Dear Friend

The silence between the notes
The space between the seconds
The darkness between the stars
The stillness between one breath and the next

Mostly, in the night when everyone's gone to bed, or in the mornings where a restless mind awakes to find no respite.

Liquid oblivion tastes bitter on the tongue now. Even the good stuff.

So I throw myself into everything else.

I search
For absolution,
Perhaps manifestation of pain.
Perhaps intense self growth and breakthrough.

Fuck emo. Enough whining. Now to get on with life. The world awaits.

Birthday Wishes

So another year gone, and another year is here. I've never been one to put much store by my birthdays truth be told. In the past, it's more often been an excuse to get my mates together, get drunk and party. Never been much on birthday resolutions, nor presents for that matter.

If there are presents, I have always held more store for the cards than the presents. The feelings invested into the written word are more precious to me than the presents.

This year's a little different. Things were a little tough this birthday, and I'm in the middle of a flux. Work wise, I've stagnated for a year or so, getting my feet back under me after trying to live the entrepreneur dream for a little more than half a decade. I've shelved that for now.

Relationships, I met someone I thought was about as close to a soulmate I'll ever likely to get. Funny how love springs at you in the most unexpected circumstance. Alas it was not to be, and somewhere along the way, I wussed out, lost my confidence and is slowly coming back to be alone and myself again.

Nevertheless, whatever does not kill me makes me stronger, yes?

I'm grateful for the experiences I had, and for the friends in my life. From each and everyone of you I have learnt something. I appreciate the care and love that you have shown, and my life is richer for your presence. Thank you Rachel, Christine, Siren and Lennie for making my birthday more amazing than I ever thought it could be.

Rachel thank you for the company.
Christine, thank you darling. One Altitude was fucking awesome. The sunset, spectacular.
Siren, thank you for dinner, and making one of my most ardent birthday wishes come true.
Lennie, thanks for the offer of drinks and the support.

I am thankful for my family, both immediate and extended. In your own way, you have shown your support and love for me, and as much as you piss me off at times, you have been role models to me.

To the ones I loved, you have made a huge impact on my life. Thank you for being with me. You will always be special to me, in your own way.

Over the last 6 years, I've kept a lot of my dreams in check. For the sake of business, many of my personal goals and aspirations have been set aside. This year, I'm determined to fulfil some of them.

1. Martial Arts - I've always loved martial arts, and I have neglected it for too long. Time to step up JKD a notch. Bruce Lee remains my idol.

2. Travelling - The last time I travelled purely for leisure is May 2002. I really miss backpacking and visiting my mates from all over. This time though, if I get mugged, someone else's ass will be well and truly kicked.

3. Riding - Ever since army, I've wanted to get back on the bike again. It's not a mode of transport. It is a lifestyle.

4. Inking - I'm working on the addition to my tatt. Work in progress.

5. Guitar - I've neglected my baby. I'm sorry. I will get my ass in gear and complete learning Hotel California.

6. Moving Out - Even if it's just a room.

A year gone, and another year laid out. Helllooo Edmund. There are stories to write, lessons to learn and so much of life to experience.

Quotes From Troy

How is it that normal people become heroes? What defines a legend? Sometimes it is just a man, woman or child trapped in extraordinary circumstance, and acting according to his or her own beliefs.

I liked Gemmell's retellings of old legends because they make the heroes human. People who are no different from any other, who just happen to be trapped in rather strange circumstances. The hero, in these cases, do not have farts that smell of roses nor do flowers bloom where they walk.

Sometimes, it is the ordinary that inspire legends.

"Love is a mystery. We embrace it where we can. Mostly we do not choose whom we love. It just happens. A voice speaks to us, in ways the ear cannot hear. We recognize a beauty that the eye does not see. We experience a change in our hearts that no voice can describe. There is no evil in love, Kalliope" 


"'You said storytellers fashion truth from lies? How can that be?' she asked him. 
"'A question I have long pondered,' He pointed at Bias. 'I once told a tale about a winged demon who attacked the Penelope. I said that Bias, the greatest spear thrower in the world, hurled a javelin so powerfully that it tore through the demon's wings and saved the ship from destruction. Bias was so taken with the story that he practised and practised with the javelin, and finally won a great prize at a King's Games. You see? He had become the greatest, because I lied about it. And therefore it was no longer a lie.'
"'I understand,' said Piria. 'And how can the truth be made into a lie?'
"'Ah, lass, that is something none of us can avoid.' Bending down, he scooped up the small clay plate...
"' My point is that truth is a mass of complexities, made up of many parts. What is truth to you?... Truth or lies? Both? It depends upon perception, understanding, belief. So, to return to your original question, it is not hard to make the truth a lie. We do it all the time, and mostly we don't even know it.'"

"She looked up at him. 'Are you in love with me?'...
"He looked into her eyes, and she felt the power of his grey gaze. 'My feelings are my own,' he said at last. 'All I know is that you are sailing for Troy to be with someone you love. If you will allow me I will see you safely there.' 
"'I could never love a man in the way that he would desire. You understand that?' 
"'Have I asked you to love me?' he countered.
"'No.'
"'Then the problem does not arise.'"

"'There is a darkness in you. In all of us, probably. Beasts we keep chained. Orginary men have to keep the chains strong, for if we let the beast loose then society will turn upon us with a fiery vengeance. Kings though... well, who is there to turn upon them? So the chains are made of straw. It is the curse of kings, Helikaon, that they can become monsters.' He sighed. 'And they invariably do.'" 

There is a reason I read fiction. Because often stories describe abstract ideas better that the writings of scholars.

Good Advice

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” - Bob Marley

I think it applies to both women AND men don't you?