And being the eternal optimist and chief prank master of life, I have decided that it is the perfect time to get some good out of the bad.
Here is a list of common CNY questions that I know we all don't like. Here, my fellow Singaporeans, are the suggested answers. Feel free to contribute.
"So where's your girlfriend?"
- "You know, it's interesting you asked. I don't think it's time to show John to the rest of the family yet" (I'm a guy. Adapt for the female context)
- "John's spending time with his family as well."
- "Which girlfriend are you talking about?"
- "Oh, your daughter didn't tell you? (Pause) I shouldn't have said that, should I?"
- "She's in the hospital, the doctor's worried that the baby will be born prematurely"
- (for the gals) (look down at your belly.... stroke)"I'm not sure. But the baby is innocent, isn't he?"
- "Didn't your daughter discuss our plans with you? We have to do it before the pregnancy gets too obvious"
- "Why? Are you saving up for the ang pow?"
- "We were thinking Ah Yat Coffeeshop but it's booked up for next Wednesday."
- "John and I think that it'll be better once the law gets a little more relaxed"
- "On my holiday next month to Europe. I heard that over there, it's ok for 3 people to be in the marriage at the same time. Sam and I think that it'll be perfect. John's complaining about the cost though"
- "After the baby is born. She can't fit into her wedding dress now."
"When are you going to have kids?"
- "Have you seen the donation jar for my diaper fund?"
- "We're thinking of adopting from the orphan program in India"
- "When the condom leaks"
"When are we going to hear the pitter patter of little feet?"
- "You know, I hear that too at night sometimes..."
- "Where's PICNIC?!!" (for QY only)
Lemme go think of more over the holidays. In the meantime, feel free to contribute.