Thursday, February 14, 2008

Improving Valentine's Day

Last year, I moaned and bitched about Valentine's. It's my right. I is single.

And this year, THAT, at least has not changed. I still is single.

Everything else? Well. Let's just take a little more proactive and positive approach to the whole day, shall we? After all, I already have tai sui on my case, let's not add more negativity to that. (Apparently according to the Chinese Zodiac, this year, I zhuang tai sui. Personally it's not my fault that he's a snivelling whiner)

So, how to improve Valentine's?

1. Have another day where the WOMEN are obligated to do something for the men. Every year. Commercialize it.

This time, we men will get little presents for the gals. They now have their chance to wine and dine us, and then submit to our every whim. We on the other hand, will just clam up and expect them to know and do everything, giving them "the eye" at anything that goes awry.

2. Run away to somewhere else where you don't have to face up to hoards to flower sellers.

The Sahara is nice this time of year. So's Mexico. Or the Artic.

3. Pretend to be insurance agents and sell life insurance to every person that comes over and asks you about flowers. Pretend to be GENERAL insurance agents and sell break-up insurance to all the couples.

If you're already with any of the Life insurance firms, don't need to pretend. This is your peak period! Thanks Fairy for this suggestion.

4. Get buried in work.

Because you KNOW that you'll be rewarded eventually.

5. Go out, party, get wild torrid sex and TRY to wake up the next morning in your own bed. Alone.

It's about as obvious as it gets. The only difference if you're attached, is just make sure that your parents don't walk in on ya, and oh. Safety first.

Welll that's about all there is to it. I'm hungry. Dinner time. Ciao!

5 comments:

kaye said...

come to korea or go to jpn then!! vday is for the girls to do the work... white day on march 14 is for the guys! heh

nadnut said...

steak and blow job day is on march 14th. ;)

Liquid Ecstasy said...

Bro its good not to go out on vday actually. Everywhere is PACKED to hell. Next year I'm going to celebrate it 1 day after.

Vandalin said...

kaye - now that's a thought.

nadnut - ahhh.... everything important in life.

LE - dunno. was in office till about 1030pm.

The Horny Bitch said...

Runaway to Cebu. No 1 sells flowers.. heh