Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Lesson of The Day

So I've been told that when it comes to negotiations, that I have a tendancy to be condescending.

What's being condescending? It's hard to put an exact finger on it, but it's almost like you're "talking down" to somebody. Professional maybe, but the same way that counter officer at certain government agencies are professional. Cold, mildly degoratory, and basically just looking down your nose at somebody.

I never knew I was like that. Quite a shock really. But looking back I realized that I am. Mildly condescending. And having been on the receiving end, I must say, it is a good lesson learnt and a valuable mirror held up against myself.

And today, I read this in my email,

"When people are aware of the good or bad opinions other people have about them, they want to live up to those opinions. This is why we act out the roles assigned to us. If we receive praise, we want to be worthy of that praise.

"I heard of a police officer who always seemed to be able to get even the toughest criminals to open up and tell him everything. His technique was to tell the criminal, "I know you have a reputation for being the tough guy who's been in a lot of trouble, but everyone tells me the one thing that stands out about you is that you never lie. They tell me that whatever you say, it's always the truth, no matter what."

"Honestly assess how you think you make others feel when they're around you. Do you make them feel small and unimportant, or do you inspire them to achieve more? Your actions towards others will tell them how you feel or think about them, which will in turn determine their behavior!"

"The German writer and poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once stated, "Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be."

- Kurt W. Mortensen

What a wake up call.

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