Art

What is the difference between Science and Art?

Science we know, a system that is tested and proven, that gives the same results consistently over time. Or at least, you know exactly how many times you're gonna screw up and how.

Art, well, art is whatever it takes to get whatever needs to be done, DONE, and that's all there is to it.

To Love or To be Loved

It's a preference really, which is preferable of the two. Each is nice its own way, each is painful in its own way as well.

I think people are naturally inclined to a particular direction. Too often, folks are saying how wonderful it is to be loved. How nice it is to be the receipient of adoration, and it is true. We all crave to be significant. We want to be the centre of someone else's world. Of course, there is that safety, that warm glow that comes from being secure in the affection of someone else, and having a safe harbour to come back to.

And when you are in love, the emotional roller-coaster probably gives you the same kinda high as a real one. Maybe even more, since you're perpetually on it. At the start at least. Even if it's unrequited love, there is a special feeling in giving unreservedly to someone and bringing a smile to the face of that special someone.

I'm gonna seperate the two right now, cos it's all well and good when one is in a relationship when it's mutual. The skies open up, the sun is shining, there's a rainbow in the rain, and with every step the flowers open and sing, and all that. (Long term relationships take a lot more work. Those that are in it know, and it's the occasional moments of transcendant joy that makes all the crap worth it)

So, the S$10,251.30 question... the ideal situation aside, which would you rather be? To love? Or to BE loved?

Both have their wonderful side. To balance things off, there is also the emotional burdens that come with loving someone, or being loved.

When you love unrequitedly, the emotional roller-coaster is agonizing. The feeling of being strung up and not knowing where you're going. The pain of knowing it is unrequited, and all that jazz about "when you really love someone you won't care if the person returns that love to you".

Crap, of course you care. And because you love that person, you care infinitely more. And it's gonna affect you. Only question is, how much, and can you live on with it. And of course, that question of how long you would hang on, and will you get over it, if you're ever gonna.

And now, the little talked about downside of being loved. It's strange isn't it? There's no obligation to returning the affection, there's no need for you to. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. REALLY?

Not if you have half a heart, or actually have an iota of care for the other party. Knowing what the other party is going through, and knowing you cannot reciprocate, even when you really want to. Questioning yourself about why it is that you can't feel the same way for this person that is so nice to you. Isn't that what you always wanted? What do you really want... Well, probably every little gesture, every present and stuff is gonna be tinged with a little guilt.

If you have a God-complex, it's even worse. The agony is insidious, and the pain, whilst not direct, or outright, probably makes that which comes from unrequited love seem cathartic in comparison. Worse yet, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Gotta watch yourself as well, in case sensibilities get outraged, or encorage the other party. Ahh... the considerations and ramifications...

In short, even that feeling is NOT GOOD.

For me, at the end of the day, what's my decision? I choose to love. Maybe that's why I subconsciously supress my overwhelming attractiveness.

It's a Wonderful Life

I have personally never watched this movie. But hey, I know that the Yankees are damn proud of it, and it's become something of a Christmas tradition to watch it.

Anyways, here's Jimmy Steward talking about his experience on the set. Christmas may be over, but here's a good reminder, whether or not it is the season for giving presents and wearing red and white jumpers.

And what really constitutes a present? I was struck by the sypnosis of It's a Wonderful Life. How an angel shows a "Nobody" exactly what would happen in this world if that person did not exist. How all his actions affected the people and lives around him, one way or another.

Ah, if only someone can show that to us. How will that affect our perception of ourselves? Or of the world? How would that impact our actions in the future?

For those that are close to you, if there was a way by which they can KNOW how they have made an impact in your life, or in someone else's life, it'll be a present that is truly significant.

Try it, it's just some pieces of paper and a pen. Who knows what would happen.

Indian Movies

It's not fair I tell you. I have been watching Indian movies for a while now, and truth be told, I am struck by an enormous sense of injustice.

They can dance, they have cool clothes, and the men are good looking, the women absolutely stunning. I'm not gonna comment about the singing, but that's freaking enough to get miffed.

And this rather strange concept that they can kiss anywhere but the lips.

Not fair, not fair at all...

Television

I read somewhere that when one watches television, one uses up even less calories than if one is sleeping. I think I can believe that.

Over the last few weeks, I have watched more TV than the rest of the year combined. I gotta say, that it has been a lot of waste of time.

TV I reckon is kinda like sweets. The brain doesn't work, neither does the body. Taken in really really small quantities it might just be a good way to relax. Taken in larger doses, it really paralyzes the brain and the time just flies by.

I shall cut down on TV this new year. Now I'm glad Dad didn't order up cartoon network for cable. Or else, I'm gonna grow roots on the home couch.

Fairy Tales and Truth

Yes, I still watch cartoons all the time.

Cartoons are good wat. Well some are anyways, the old cartoons like Transformers, Mask and Visionaries absolutely ROCK. Some of the new ones like Cow and Chicken, Spongebob (I know some of you like it, I don't) sucks.

Well something was reinforced today in me when I was watching Batman (it's the new series, with the kid Batman. Still good, still good). We humans need dreams. We need fantasy and stories.

We need them like we need the occasional vacation. We need them like the security blanket that we kept from young, or the occasional sweet. We human beings need hope. We need an ideal to work towards, and that's what fairy tales are.

But then again, reality check. Chances are, we're never gonna have fairy tales come true. Or rather, we're not gonna have the whole thing come true for us. Some fragments, most probably, knight in shining armour, maybe. Happily ever after, most definitely not.

Even then, just like dreams, or sweets or the vacation, we can't live in them. They're a refuge, not a permanent residence. And one of the ironies of life is that the only way to get closer to that ideal is to wake up and actually live it.

Let's face it. Life is never gonna be perfect. But it is the lack of perfection that gives it... Character. The ideal is necessary cos we need something to work towards. The stories remind us that there is something to live for. Just try not to cross the line, and dream the life away.

If we live the dream, with all its imperfections in the real world. Perhaps we also get something a little more than that pot of fairy gold. We get to know that we have shite happen to us, and we can take that, and with a shovel, tamp it down for good compost.

Who knows, sometimes, life may just give us a big bunch of lovely smelling flowers as the perfect complement to the fragrance of blood, sweat and toil.

Your Kissing Purity Score: 31% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

How true... how true. Heh...

Filters

Remember the Bird in the Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy? No, you won't find it in the movie, only the book.

It's the one entity in the entire universe that has got absolutely no filters, and hence no limits to the what in can or cannot know, or do.

I reckon that all of us people have filters. It's what makes us human. We need filters to survive, or else we'll be completely overwhelmed. With great insight, requires great strength of mind, and of spirit. Why else do you think that the great thinkers always are somewhat off?

Beethoven was schizo, Handel was a hedonist, I can't quite remember what Edison was, Einstein had 3 wives and never heard of a comb, and Picasso had a taste for ears.

I reckon that most of them had less filters than the normal person. And unfortunately most of them find it hard to bear the kind of knowledge and insight they were given. It must be a heavy burden, and a lonely one at that.

That aside, what kinda filters do we have? As people, humans, the things that we know, do we really KNOW them for sure? Children have no idea what is possible and impossible, and as a result come up with the most fantastic ideas. As we grow up, we acquire more and more filters. More and more people and the world tell us what we can or cannot do, what are limits are, what the boundaries must be.

What if we can find out what we do not know? How are we gonna do that? What if we challenge what we "know for sure" each and every single day? Where will we be in a week, or a month, or a year?

The other question of course, is will we ever be ready for this kind of growth? Will we be ready to accept the kind of burden, power and responsibility that comes with this kind of growth? Maybe that's why it gets harder as we go along, because we'll need the journey to get us ready for the kind of weight that end will take us.

I reckon that's a small little bit of infinity in every single one of us. A speck of the universe. What can we truly truly achieve if we live every day to the fullness of our ability?

Wow.

Hope

What IS hope?

I have been intending to write about this for a while now, but never got around to it. And now, with me on leave, and dragged out of my bed in the morning to take care of recordings... it seem like a good time to write.

Now I have been hearing this word, false hope getting thrown around way too much.

WTF is false hope? Now I understand false expectations. Something that was promised but the person that does it has not even the INTENTION of fulfilling it.

But hope? Hope is something that was intangible in the first place. It is hope simply because there is no expectation, just a wish for something to happen. Maybe something even less tangible that even that. It is an idea, a wisp of something to look forward to. That is hope. A chance that something will happen, no matter how slim that chance is.

To paraphrase Prachett, that the one in a million chance that happens nine out of ten times.

So, if that is hope, there cannot be false hope right? An oxymoron if you ask me.

Even when hope is NOT fulfilled, it still is necessary. Why? Because humans always need something to look forward to. Something outside of themselves to live for. It's just us.

That everyone needs dreams. Everyone needs hope, even if nine out of ten times hope doesn't work. It is that one time, that makes all the 9 times worth it. It is that 1% of the time, that people strive for, and achieve that makes we look forward to happen. That 1 time, and all the effort and disappointment is given meaning.

After all, when all dreams are over, either when we stop hoping, or by the fulfilling of hope, it's time to die.

May YOU have all your dreams come true, but ONE.

The Responsible Flirt

Seems like an oxymoron doesn't it? Responsibility and flirting has probably not been mentioned in the same breath. Heck, probably not even in the same conversation, or even on the same planet.

Fact of the matter is, that they might not be as far apart as what one might think.

What is a flirt? Someone with charm, charisma, and flair, and is not afraid to use it to generate attraction in the opposite sex (or the same one, depends on which direction you're leaning towards. It's the 21st century after all).

Now my question, is WHY is flirting a bad thing? I mean, it's almost always given a bad reputation. But don't we all want to be attractive? To be able to hold a decent, stimulating conversation with another person, to make them smile and laugh, and after that, to be confident and interesting.

As far as flirting is concerned, hey, Freud said that everything we humans do have a certain amount of sexual connotation. Now, I personally think that he might be taking it LEETLE too far, and believe that he's probably had WAY too much thinking, too little sex and possibly OD'ed on what passes for porn during those times (from what I heard, they got off on ankles. I personally can't imagine a centerfold that's fully clothed, with, GASP, naked calves)

That being said, I think he's onto something. A little sexual connotation, a little twist on language, a little teasing is a good thing. A little. Like the verbal and physical equivalent of salt and pepper. Why not? I mean, how bland is a dish without any salt and pepper, without stimulation? Given that sometimes natural tastes are desirable as well, a little seasoning can take something that's already great and make it better.

Ok, let's be fair. Without substance and content, no amount of verbal bantering is gonna help. But hey, for the sake of argument, and to avoid myopia, we shall assume this to be already settled aye?

Moving on, just like seasoning, one cannot apply flirting without care to the recipient. Some people can take it, others can't. Some can take more, some less, and some none at all. Some might even get completely overwhelmed by it and then take it completely out of context.

So the person who has the charm, the charisma, the ability for attraction need to apply this with care. Context and the person on the recieving end of such a communication is vital. The ability to manage this application, is RESPONSIBILITY.

And as such, what is a responsible flirt? An attractive person with wit, charm, and is not afraid to use it appropriately. A "chef" of communication that uses the tools at his disposal ethically. It is also someone who loves a good conversation, draws the lines clearly, toes it but never oversteps.

That person is one that knows the importance of emotions, holds them dear, and before things get out of hand, pulls back and makes sure that nobody and no feelings is hurt, even if it's in the name of fun. ESPECIALLY in the name of fun.

That dear friends, is a responsible flirt.

Quote from an Indian Movie

I LOVE INDIAN MOVIES!

The dance is fantastic, the story line is interesting, and the women are absolutely stunning. Damn, it's not fair that they have the looks, and they have the moves as well...

Anyway, here's a really interesting quote for all you die hard romantics out there.

"Love is like life. It is not always easy, and it does not always bring happiness. But as we carry on living, why should we not carry on loving?"

Simple, yet true.

"The Parafaith War"- An Excerpt

I reread the entire book again. This is one of the things that really affected my view on power. It talks about violence, but power comes with the ability to create this violence. To me, it talks about the responsibility that comes with the wielding of power.

"Can violence and the use of force to effect change upon the universe be left to the young? Do they see what was, what is, and what might yet be? Have they suffered, watched evil fall upon the good, or good upon the evil?

"Or should the burden of violence be left to those who can bear it most lightly - upon those who have closed their minds or their feelings? How then can they understand the suffering that they must inflict?

"Should the burden of force be laid upon the short-lived, who will not see the consequences of their actions? How can they dispense force with compassion if they can escape the knowledge of what they do?

"The greater the force brought to bear, the older and wiser must the entity who wields it. Wisdom allows sorrow. Age allows experience, and knowledge reinforces wisdom and experience.

"Those who would bear the burden of force must be those who are strong and do not seek it, for those who seek force would misuse it, and those who are weak would shy from what they must do."

Hence the paradox of power and force.

Reminder

Finally, after 3 days, internet came back. Now, some things to write about...

• Holiday taking and my broker exams
• Hope
• The Parafaith War
• The Responsible Flirt
  

Looks like it's gonna be a pretty busy weekend eh?

Bastard-ology

The Bastard. The one creature that has been the topic of more relationship conversations than probably any other person in the world.

What IS a bastard? The general idea in the world is that the bastard is any male that breaks a gal's heart. Over the last few conversations with my female friends, who talked about it in their blogs (here and here) I kinda figured that it's about time the MAN comes in and take a stand on the case.

First and foremost, has anyone actually ever DEFINED a bastard? A female friend says it's a guy that does things that he KNOWS will break the gal's heart but does it anyway.

I'd like to take it a little further. According to EDMUND's Dictionary of relationship terms,

"Bastard noun A person that uses emotions and relationships to get what he or she wants, be it money, sex, or emotional validation"

Now balking tradition, I included females in the definition of a bastard. This is the 21st century after all. Women want equality, well you got it.

Another difference that I thought added to the definition of a bastard. Emotional validation. Well we are all familiar with bastards that get into a relationship for money, or sex. What's this emotional validation thing? Well, the simpler term for this is "safety net". Heard of it?

This class of bastards are a little more insidious. They don't go for the money, they don't go for the sex, but what they do go for is keep someone on the side as back up, a spare tyre. This is all well and good for the bastard of course, but absolutely agonizing for the person on the side, to be used and discarded at will.

Money you can earn back, after the sex, one gets on with life (of course, I am of the firm belief that there's a special section of hell reserved for bastards who take virgins. Heck I'll personally work the bellows). But for a person dangling on a yo-yo?

I have come to the conclusion that the biggest bastards have at one time been the nicest guys. And since the assholes are the ones who are more challenging, and therefore more "exciting" and desirable, the nice guys are the nice stable types who at the end of the day, gets thrown to one side or are prime candidates for safety nets.

When cynicism and disappointment sets in, these same "nice guys" become bastards. End of story. Perhaps the reason why there aren't that many nice guys anymore is cos the ladies kill them off themselves.