Monday, December 05, 2005


The Bastard. The one creature that has been the topic of more relationship conversations than probably any other person in the world.

What IS a bastard? The general idea in the world is that the bastard is any male that breaks a gal's heart. Over the last few conversations with my female friends, who talked about it in their blogs (here and here) I kinda figured that it's about time the MAN comes in and take a stand on the case.

First and foremost, has anyone actually ever DEFINED a bastard? A female friend says it's a guy that does things that he KNOWS will break the gal's heart but does it anyway.

I'd like to take it a little further. According to EDMUND's Dictionary of relationship terms,

"Bastard noun A person that uses emotions and relationships to get what he or she wants, be it money, sex, or emotional validation"

Now balking tradition, I included females in the definition of a bastard. This is the 21st century after all. Women want equality, well you got it.

Another difference that I thought added to the definition of a bastard. Emotional validation. Well we are all familiar with bastards that get into a relationship for money, or sex. What's this emotional validation thing? Well, the simpler term for this is "safety net". Heard of it?

This class of bastards are a little more insidious. They don't go for the money, they don't go for the sex, but what they do go for is keep someone on the side as back up, a spare tyre. This is all well and good for the bastard of course, but absolutely agonizing for the person on the side, to be used and discarded at will.

Money you can earn back, after the sex, one gets on with life (of course, I am of the firm belief that there's a special section of hell reserved for bastards who take virgins. Heck I'll personally work the bellows). But for a person dangling on a yo-yo?

I have come to the conclusion that the biggest bastards have at one time been the nicest guys. And since the assholes are the ones who are more challenging, and therefore more "exciting" and desirable, the nice guys are the nice stable types who at the end of the day, gets thrown to one side or are prime candidates for safety nets.

When cynicism and disappointment sets in, these same "nice guys" become bastards. End of story. Perhaps the reason why there aren't that many nice guys anymore is cos the ladies kill them off themselves.


Anonymous said...

the way you put it on and offline... you seem to consider becoming one yourself... personally on a parallel i do find that bad guys get the last laugh. very tempting to turn to the dark side. however i'm too inept to be bad. it takes a certain intellect to be the bad guy and sustain. perhaps you can.

Kismet said...

Tell me why do I get a guy that everyone says "he was very nice, very kuai"..note the WAS. Why do I have to kena AFTER they transform????? I agree..some of the biggest bastards are those that have been the nicest. So don't blame the women if it's the same. Don't blame me if I have fun with you (not Ed per se pls!!) and walk out. There are bitches as well as bastards..equality exists..because without bitches, how to get bastards that come break our hearts? Sometimes I think if one is able to be a bitch, it may well far be easier to deal with a straughtforward bastard than one you can't really slap. At least, everyone knows how to manage themselves and no one gets hurt.

Vandalin said...

Not sure if I can, but hey, I don't think I am a bad boy, just someone who's rather more... self centred.

I still hold emotions sacred.

Fuck around with anything, but leave the emotions out of it.

Kismet, bit of a vicious cycle isn't it? and there's probably a reason why you only meet them after they change. Most of the time, the nice guys don't get noticed, and remains in the background. Sad isn't it?