Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Ang Moh VS Asians

I just watched this absolutely HILARIOUS short clip.

It does, however, point out certain truisms. Men, sit up, pay fucking attention because you WILL see this material again. (Thank you Richard Marcinko)

Gentlemen, Get this.

1. It's true, Asian men often have to contend with a certain mental stereotypes that gets in the way of our sex lives.

2. This is a GOOD thing. It's how we use it. (There's always a fucking silver lining. Mr Optimism at his very best)

3. Before you go on the offensive, understand the enemy. Asian men are percieved as virtually sexless creatures by the biggest PR and culture machine in the world today. Hollywood. In my memory right now, I can only remember 1 Asian who ALMOST had a screen kiss. Jet Li with Aaliyah. Then Aaliyah died in a plane crash. Maybe it's white elitists.

4. Asian men are seen to be the stable, settle-down type who aren't a lot of fun in bed. This of course, is bollocks. We are all perfectly capable of mind-blowing, gratuitous, hedonistic sex, with no thought about anything more than the next orgasm. Ladies, admit it. There are times, where an orgasm or ten without the attached strings or guilt is more than welcum.

5. Asian men are percieved to be tight-wads who are economically less accomplished compared to the Ang Moh. This of course, is bullshit. Ask any mummy at any KTV.

6. Part of the reason of that above is probably the average ang-moh has his own place, while the average Asian man stays with the family. Probably true, till you realize that the company pays for the hotel room/apartment/condo. Still the logistical concern is probably one of the few legitimate cock-blocks that I'd admit to.

7. The exotic factor. And hence the perception of Value. Maybe yes, Maybe no. Most women are not ALL that visually inclined. Exoticism may or may NOT be a good thing.

8. Ang-Mohs are of a higher social status. BOLLOCKS. They are just damn pushy. And they hold as much "class" as WE give them. Come to think of it, if we ourselve act like we're in a higher social status ourselves, will there come a point of time, where other people around us will actually BELIEVE it?

Here's the ULTIMATE What-If. What if whatever the case may be, regardless of however much money we have in our pockets, or where we stay, the colour of our skin, we become completely comfortable with ourselves?

So much so that we walk up to ANYBODY at the bar and just strike up a conversation. So much so that when we go to the dance floor, we can just cut loose, dance, and simply fuck care what everyone else says or thinks?

What if we stop being modest, and nice, and obliging and start being cocky, even arrogant? Stand our own ground and push for our way? After all gentlemen, we know this ONE thing about women that is almost a constant throughout the known universe. They unanimously, almost NEVER say what they want. What they SAY they want, is almost always a fallacy, to us, the men, possibly as well as to themselves.

Is there any wonder at all that for some time now, any time I hear a gal say,"All I want is a nice guy..." I snort to myself, and say,"Yeah, Right."

And frankly, when I demonstrate at the drop of a hat, that I don't CARE what the other person think of the average asian male, and that tell them where they can shove their their stupid, narrow-minded typical ideas, is it any wonder why life for myself is SO much easier and possibly more fun?

Extensions of this line of reasoning include the BASTARD theory, and the worst-foot forward theory. Of which I shall cover at another time.

Peace, Out.


sÞ¡ηηєє said...

i never like any pple who's darker skin than me, neither fairer skin than me.


gen4sure said...

hey..u SEEM to have lots against caucasions..or "ang-mohs".. *laughs*.. but hey.. every skin color got their pros and cons.doesn't mean that one black sheep will overturn the entire flock to mud... *laughs*

Vandalin said...

Spinnee, zia lat leh... :P not so bad if you're a guy, where generally people come in beige, brown, white, or red (when sunburnt).

When you are a gal, and you have 234 different variations to every colour? Siao leow.

Gen, you should know me better than that! My friends feature like a regular United Colours of Benetton ad! Nah, I'm just commenting on this interesting social phenomena. And perhaps educating the guys a little...;)

javaricho said...

Does Ang Mo mean only white male or can it be extended to other people as well? Excuse my ignorance but I have not heard the expression before.

Mind you Holloywodd is not a good arbiter of sexiness. After all they would have you believe tom Cruise is sexy. After hejumped on the chair it sort of wrecked the whole plot line!

Vandalin said...

Hey javaricho,

Ang Moh is a general term that refers to the whole caucasian race. In this context however, I am referring to the caucasian male.

This is the Singaporean Colloquial term. We are pretty equal here in Singapore. We have a nickname for everybody. Indian, Malay, Chinese, even the Eurasian.

javaricho said...

Thanks to improve my education can you give me the other nicknames please?

Vandalin said...


the Chinese is called Mun-Jen
The Indian is called Ma-Ma
The Malay the Mat (Mud with a T sound at the end)
And the Eurasian a Gra-go.

javaricho said...

Thanks Vandalin

Mark said...

great rant!

i disagree with #5 though. its just a culture difference that asians aren't expected to get the hell out of the house and let their parents retire in peace, once they finish university.

disagree with #8 too! but that's an entire new issue!

Mickell said...

What the Indian dude said is true. Asian guys don't get the chicks like the white guys do because they don't have as much coolness and confidence like the white dudes do.

Vandalin said...

Fighting words mickell, fighting words. Heh.