My Friend Chek just smsed me.
An ex-colleague just passed away this morning of a heart attack.
Fuck. This is sudden. A hole in my heart opens up suddenly.
No, I wasn't close to Brandon, neither did we work very closely together in the 5 months I was in APB. Still, he was a likeable fellow, and I had a couple of interesting conversations with him.
He was suppose to leave APB to further his studies in Oz. Brisbane I believe. I cannot remember what it is that he was suppose to be studying. He was interested in trading. I know because we discussed it a couple of times when I popped back to the party bus, and another one of the soccer events, we talked about it.
He was gonna get out, and get going. In a certain sense, I guess he did.
Puts everything in perspective doesn't it? The death of someone that you know. Especially something as sudden as this. What would you do, if you really knew you had 24 hours left to live? Would you make the same decisions that you did?
What would really change?
I guess that's why we go to funerals. The dead is already gone, they don't care anymore. The funeral is solace for the living. A way of tying up loose ends, to do SOMETHING for the person who left so suddenly. To the living, it is also a mirror. It questions us on our own lives, the things we have done, and the decisions we made.
If we were the person that is lying right now, in the coffin, how would we ourselves look at our own lives? Would the things we spend so much time doing still be important to us? Or would some things that we too often overlook suddenly seem absolutely vital?
I go for the wake tonight. In part, for the loved ones of a colleague I never had the chance to know well. In part, for myself, a manner for self-reflection.
Cheers Brandon. This beer is for you.