Monday and Tuesday

Decided to group this together cos I reckon that I should probably cut a long story short.

Spent the whole of Monday deliberating whether I should sms Shal, but sending only one in the end. Asked her if I can meet her in the evening, after her dance class. She said no but I went anyway. Got the works. present, flowers, and chocs, all side stuff... wanted to get her just to start talking to me...

finally got the story out of her. Too embaressing for too many people to blog, ask me if you wanna know, and I don't think I should say it here. Ask if you wanna know and I'll tell in private.

Anyway, I really want her to forgive me, and everything. Knowing that it's not possible to do it, I want to really prove to her that I can be the kinda guy she can put her faith in... she kept saying it's too late... damn that hurts...

Tuesday was kinda gloomy as well... there was a Thai delegation coming in the evening from the brewery there, but frankly I was too sian to be of much help.

Anyways, met Kelvin and firmed up the deal some. So as much as I wanna stay in APB, I'm not sure if I can. Considering all that's happened, I think I should put some distance between me and temptation. Till I can truly be self-actualized, I shall not drink more than 2 mugs on any night, whatever the cost.

Wednesday

Still feeling shitty about Sat... and understanding how much I let Shal down and thrashing her trust... I'll have to build things up again... bit by bit... and to win her heart back, as well as her trust. Tall order isn't it? I don't know how I'll do it... but I know I will and I'm hanging on like a doggie on its favourite chew toy...