Friday, November 25, 2005

Be-Cough Of You

It is my belief that the most DISGUSTING disease in the world is the common flu. It is also the single most irritating, and most prevalent of all illnesses.

In fact, if we had a misery index of all the diseases in the world together, I believe that the flu virus will top the chart by a HUGE lead.

Let's list all the things that possibly happen to one in the event of the common flu.

1. The fever sucks, and throws your thermostat out of whack. Bury yourself in blankets and you're too hot. Take away one, and you feel like you're in the middle of the arctic.

2. The running nose and the sneezing. Someone told me that when one sneezes, the force generated by the sneeze is equal to a minor hurricane. I can believe it. Try sneezing at your work table with a stack of loose paper. Hurricane Katrina? Bah! The sore nose from the blowing, and the leaking when you're NOT, oh the agony.

3. The pimples. YES! What is the direct result of all that rubbing and sneezing of the nose? The blossoming of pimples. And don't even get me started on the pain of one unripe one right on the side of your nose.

4. The incessant cough. Now I am not sure if this happens to everyone. But my throat at least takes forever to recover from any flu. The constant coughing is terribly wearing. Can't sleep, can hardly eat, in fact, been nervous about driving as well because of the cough. Last thing you wanna be doing is to battle rush hour traffic with your body racked with a string of coughing.

4. The sore throat, and loss of voice. If you're an introvert, no issue. If you're someone who needs the voice to work, 'nuff said.

5. The gunk that comes out of every orfice of one's body. Green spit, green mucus... Almost feels like you're melting inside and stuff is coming out of every part of the body.

6. Loss of sleep due to all of the above.

7. The general feeling of crapiness.

And Last but definitely NOT least, is the sheer number of times it happens. It's absurd! And there's no known cure for the common cold. Oh... Ebola, you get it, you die, end of story. Chicken pox, get it once, and you're done for the rest of your life. But the flu... Oh! the FLU! It just keeps coming back!

Enough ranting. My eyes are getting cross eyed from all the coughing. Peace, Out.

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