Let me translate that, "I'm sorry if i said anything to upset you."
DAMN, I love Blackadder. And that's not only because he's got the same first name as moi.
For those of you who haven't watched it, you don't know what you're missing out on. Then again, it's for smart people only. You Yankee sitcom lover types... this may be a little too much for ya.
Friday, October 14, 2005
The Seinfeld Intelligence Test
I have found a very fast way of figuring out whether a person is relatively intelligent.
1. Ask if the person enjoys watching Seinfeld (especially the stand-up comedy bit).
2. If the fellow has never watched it, run one of the excerpts from his stand-up routine by him or her.
Don't like Seinfeld, can't be that smart. Works just about every time I tried it out really.
So, do YOU like Seinfeld?
1. Ask if the person enjoys watching Seinfeld (especially the stand-up comedy bit).
2. If the fellow has never watched it, run one of the excerpts from his stand-up routine by him or her.
Don't like Seinfeld, can't be that smart. Works just about every time I tried it out really.
So, do YOU like Seinfeld?
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Love or Money
Another eternally debated question.
Should I comment on it? Probably. If nothing else, simply because signs demand that I should. Glenn and the Flying Dutchman talked about it this morning, and when I went to blinkymummy's website I saw another post on it.
Personal feel, this is a question where either extreme of the answer is liable to be wrong. No money, both starve to death. Without love, the relationship is doomed to failure. The answer, rather lies in one's opinion in one of the infinite shade of grey between either extreme, and totally depend on one priority.
On one hand, the man is the traditional breadwinner in the Asian Family. On the other, I firmly believe every man wants his partner to see him for more than his wallet. Just like women want a man that can see past her tits.
And the bigger the wallet, or the tits, the harder it is to see past those trappings to the person behind.
That's why the man doesn't like it when the woman always talks about money. It demeans the man. Ladies, would you really want your guy to come up to you and say, hun, I love you, but you gotta get bigger tits. Right?
We all want the good life. Question is, how high is that on your list of priorities?
Question for the ladies, Love or money?
Question for the gents, Love or tits?
Maybe men and women aren't that different after all...
Should I comment on it? Probably. If nothing else, simply because signs demand that I should. Glenn and the Flying Dutchman talked about it this morning, and when I went to blinkymummy's website I saw another post on it.
Personal feel, this is a question where either extreme of the answer is liable to be wrong. No money, both starve to death. Without love, the relationship is doomed to failure. The answer, rather lies in one's opinion in one of the infinite shade of grey between either extreme, and totally depend on one priority.
On one hand, the man is the traditional breadwinner in the Asian Family. On the other, I firmly believe every man wants his partner to see him for more than his wallet. Just like women want a man that can see past her tits.
And the bigger the wallet, or the tits, the harder it is to see past those trappings to the person behind.
That's why the man doesn't like it when the woman always talks about money. It demeans the man. Ladies, would you really want your guy to come up to you and say, hun, I love you, but you gotta get bigger tits. Right?
We all want the good life. Question is, how high is that on your list of priorities?
Question for the ladies, Love or money?
Question for the gents, Love or tits?
Maybe men and women aren't that different after all...
Together Forever?
Walking back home one day with a friend that was gonna move to another church nearer to her new home, I commented,"Hey quite sad that you're leaving... it's only been a short time since you came and now you're going again."
She said,"Well, used to it already."
I was surprised... that's a pretty calloused thing to say.
She carried on by saying,"After all, people come in and out of your life all the time. Ever since you started going to school. People come and go, some stay longer than others... used to it already."
I was quiet for a long time after that. From that day on, I resolved to leave a mark in the lives of the people I meet. No matter how small, no matter how short a time.
---------------------
So,
To the people that come into my life, Thank You. All of you have made an impact in my life. I am what I am today, because of the things that happen in that time that we shared together.
You guys and gals have all done a pretty damn good job. Look at me now. Heh! Wipe that look of horror from your face. I know you love me.
----------------------
If I write down everything that shaped me, and each and every individual person that contributed, I'll be blogging for the rest of my life. Let the paperwork take care of itself. Or read my autobiography when I'm 83.
She said,"Well, used to it already."
I was surprised... that's a pretty calloused thing to say.
She carried on by saying,"After all, people come in and out of your life all the time. Ever since you started going to school. People come and go, some stay longer than others... used to it already."
I was quiet for a long time after that. From that day on, I resolved to leave a mark in the lives of the people I meet. No matter how small, no matter how short a time.
---------------------
So,
To the people that come into my life, Thank You. All of you have made an impact in my life. I am what I am today, because of the things that happen in that time that we shared together.
You guys and gals have all done a pretty damn good job. Look at me now. Heh! Wipe that look of horror from your face. I know you love me.
To these same people that touched my life, I hope I have made a contribution to yours too.
----------------------
If I write down everything that shaped me, and each and every individual person that contributed, I'll be blogging for the rest of my life. Let the paperwork take care of itself. Or read my autobiography when I'm 83.
California Fitness
No, I have not relented in my NO GYM policy... after all, like what my brother said, all one needs to do for upper body, is just handstand pushups to train the muscles that push, and pull ups... well to train the muscles that pull.
The rest of the body? Well, legs, just STOP TAKING LIFTS. and waist, nothing 200 crunches won't solve.
I went there primarily cos they have been bugging me. Make an appointment, go down... look at the inane, idiotic machines I know i'll never use.
Reason I went down is simply cos I wanted to meet Zan face to face. Zan is the sales guy that has been calling me up. EDMUND HAVE YOU TURNED GAY?? Shush! Shut your filthy mouth! Never will I give up my love for the fairer sex.
Nope, I have not become deranged from whiskey deficency. Yet. It's cos I had a conversation with him on Monday night about what HE wanted to do. And about coming out and finding your own path in life.
Yes yes, it's the old speech about how you can live your dreams now... Why wait? And all that... He seems rather affected by it, so I reckon, hey, why not? See what this chap is all about.
On the plus side, maybe, he'll get shaken out of his repose and actually do something about the whole situation, then after that succeed and live happily ever after with his American gf. And as a reward for this good deed, I was given the opportunity to ogle at this TRULY hot chick.
Hmm... when I truly retire, I'll go work for Cali simply for eye candy.
That'll be AFTER I take my revenge on the French for making us pay shitloads of money for tiny lil bits of food they call gourmet. Wonder if another definition of gourmet is small crumbs of food on big plates. Or the french word for "idiot".
On the negative side... my car got shat on AGAIN by birds!!! Freaking asshole birdbrains that use cars for cannon fodder! Here's another thing to add to my list. Take a gun to Orchard and BLOW those fuckers outta their freaking nests.
No wonder most of the car parks are below ground. FUCK!
The rest of the body? Well, legs, just STOP TAKING LIFTS. and waist, nothing 200 crunches won't solve.
I went there primarily cos they have been bugging me. Make an appointment, go down... look at the inane, idiotic machines I know i'll never use.
Reason I went down is simply cos I wanted to meet Zan face to face. Zan is the sales guy that has been calling me up. EDMUND HAVE YOU TURNED GAY?? Shush! Shut your filthy mouth! Never will I give up my love for the fairer sex.
Nope, I have not become deranged from whiskey deficency. Yet. It's cos I had a conversation with him on Monday night about what HE wanted to do. And about coming out and finding your own path in life.
Yes yes, it's the old speech about how you can live your dreams now... Why wait? And all that... He seems rather affected by it, so I reckon, hey, why not? See what this chap is all about.
On the plus side, maybe, he'll get shaken out of his repose and actually do something about the whole situation, then after that succeed and live happily ever after with his American gf. And as a reward for this good deed, I was given the opportunity to ogle at this TRULY hot chick.
Hmm... when I truly retire, I'll go work for Cali simply for eye candy.
That'll be AFTER I take my revenge on the French for making us pay shitloads of money for tiny lil bits of food they call gourmet. Wonder if another definition of gourmet is small crumbs of food on big plates. Or the french word for "idiot".
On the negative side... my car got shat on AGAIN by birds!!! Freaking asshole birdbrains that use cars for cannon fodder! Here's another thing to add to my list. Take a gun to Orchard and BLOW those fuckers outta their freaking nests.
No wonder most of the car parks are below ground. FUCK!
The musings of an overworked, under rested mind...
Find this phrase familiar?
You might. Especially if you went to university with me. It is the title of that small blue notebook that the school bookshop gives out with all those textbooks that you bought.
It started because I was giving my friend Sandy ideas to go out on a date with her then bf. Then it occured to me. Edmund you bloody idiot. Always giving people ideas for dates. When it comes time for YOU to bring someone out, it's always movie and dinner. FUCK! I gotta go write all these ideas down!
And so it started. That blue book was on my table every time I studied. A lot of my mates (why is it that so many people hear "maids" recently?? I think I gotta throw an Ozzie accent in and see if it works better) started writing in it... it became a place to vent and write ANYTHING, instead of just ideas.
That phrase went onto the cover of that blue book somewhere along the way, as well as some other corny drawings.
I still have that book somewhere... I think I'll take it out and bring it around again. Wonder what other ideas the people I meet will have.
You might. Especially if you went to university with me. It is the title of that small blue notebook that the school bookshop gives out with all those textbooks that you bought.
It started because I was giving my friend Sandy ideas to go out on a date with her then bf. Then it occured to me. Edmund you bloody idiot. Always giving people ideas for dates. When it comes time for YOU to bring someone out, it's always movie and dinner. FUCK! I gotta go write all these ideas down!
And so it started. That blue book was on my table every time I studied. A lot of my mates (why is it that so many people hear "maids" recently?? I think I gotta throw an Ozzie accent in and see if it works better) started writing in it... it became a place to vent and write ANYTHING, instead of just ideas.
That phrase went onto the cover of that blue book somewhere along the way, as well as some other corny drawings.
I still have that book somewhere... I think I'll take it out and bring it around again. Wonder what other ideas the people I meet will have.
Origins
It just occured to me where the inspiration of my nickname comes from. 2 places I think.
1. Quantum Leap
Remember that show? Long long time ago, about a scientist who, because of an accident in a time travel device ends up jumping from person to person throughout the course of history?
I LOVED that show. I was hmm... what, an impressionable 10-year-old at the time? I guess it is partly because it's sci-fi, and well, the hero really makes an impact in someone's life... someone who later changes the course of history.
The bittersweet thing is, after that, he gets zapped off again, and he goes on and on and on...
A wanderer through time and space, impacting people's lives, and then moving on. Kinda like a wanderer don't ya think?
2. Old westerns
And other stories like that. Notably, The Gunslinger from The Black Tower series in Stephen King, and from David Gemmell, Waylander, and that cowboy from another one of his books. The title slips my mind, but the impact remains.
All reach out to touch the world in some way, and then, they move on. The lone wanderer riding into the sunset...
Kinda romantic, kinda bittersweet, and yet, something... desirable?
1. Quantum Leap
Remember that show? Long long time ago, about a scientist who, because of an accident in a time travel device ends up jumping from person to person throughout the course of history?
I LOVED that show. I was hmm... what, an impressionable 10-year-old at the time? I guess it is partly because it's sci-fi, and well, the hero really makes an impact in someone's life... someone who later changes the course of history.
The bittersweet thing is, after that, he gets zapped off again, and he goes on and on and on...
A wanderer through time and space, impacting people's lives, and then moving on. Kinda like a wanderer don't ya think?
2. Old westerns
And other stories like that. Notably, The Gunslinger from The Black Tower series in Stephen King, and from David Gemmell, Waylander, and that cowboy from another one of his books. The title slips my mind, but the impact remains.
All reach out to touch the world in some way, and then, they move on. The lone wanderer riding into the sunset...
Kinda romantic, kinda bittersweet, and yet, something... desirable?
Monday, October 10, 2005
Racism
Let's talk about race. Sensitive topic? Yeah, but hey I like steak, let's kill sacred cows.
Now those of you who know me, when it comes to women, I am an absolute Singaporean. The guy that added the phrase,"Regardless of Race, Language or Religion..." is a man after my own heart, or any other body part you might, or might not, want to name.
I believe that the line between racism and preference is thin and often crossed. Let me give you an example.
I have a malay friend that absolutely adores chinese chicks. I have Chinese friends that wouldn't touch Indian gals with a meter rule. Is that racism? Or preference?
I detest raw onions on my burgers, and I will NEVER eat canned fish. Am I then, an onionist and a canned-fishist?
Now CLEAR examples of racism, I get. People who immediately attribute certain qualities to people simply because of colour. I believe THAT is racism. Positive OR negative traits. Avoidable? Yes, but only with a lot of exposure and understanding.
When is racism eradicated? When one can JOKE about someone else's skin colour COMFORTABLY and everyone takes it as it is... a joke.
Are we ever gonna get there? Well in this lifetime, unfortunately not... too many prudes around. Maybe when India and China takes over the whole world and everyone's a nice mocha colour with a slight yellowish base.
Well that's something to look forward to yeah?
Now those of you who know me, when it comes to women, I am an absolute Singaporean. The guy that added the phrase,"Regardless of Race, Language or Religion..." is a man after my own heart, or any other body part you might, or might not, want to name.
I believe that the line between racism and preference is thin and often crossed. Let me give you an example.
I have a malay friend that absolutely adores chinese chicks. I have Chinese friends that wouldn't touch Indian gals with a meter rule. Is that racism? Or preference?
I detest raw onions on my burgers, and I will NEVER eat canned fish. Am I then, an onionist and a canned-fishist?
Now CLEAR examples of racism, I get. People who immediately attribute certain qualities to people simply because of colour. I believe THAT is racism. Positive OR negative traits. Avoidable? Yes, but only with a lot of exposure and understanding.
When is racism eradicated? When one can JOKE about someone else's skin colour COMFORTABLY and everyone takes it as it is... a joke.
Are we ever gonna get there? Well in this lifetime, unfortunately not... too many prudes around. Maybe when India and China takes over the whole world and everyone's a nice mocha colour with a slight yellowish base.
Well that's something to look forward to yeah?
10 grand US
Did a calculation of exactly how much money I missed since the 2P course.
US$11,000. FUCK!
I be getting my margin together and getting my ass down to Ong First right NOW.
Watch out world... I'm gonna be kicking a lot of ass now babes...
Enough is Enough.
US$11,000. FUCK!
I be getting my margin together and getting my ass down to Ong First right NOW.
Watch out world... I'm gonna be kicking a lot of ass now babes...
Enough is Enough.
Bombing Iraq
I know a lot of you have heard this before. It is something I truly believe.
I believe that Iraq should be bombed. With barrels upon barrels of Fosters and Budweisers.
If this was done, and the US army "invaded" with dispensers, they would have had the war over in 10 days, and be hailed as heroes.
Simple military tactics right?
In the land of the unopened barrels, the man with the one tap dispenser is king.
WORLD PEACE!
I believe that Iraq should be bombed. With barrels upon barrels of Fosters and Budweisers.
If this was done, and the US army "invaded" with dispensers, they would have had the war over in 10 days, and be hailed as heroes.
Simple military tactics right?
In the land of the unopened barrels, the man with the one tap dispenser is king.
WORLD PEACE!
Money
Occured to me that many say that MONEY is the ROOT to all Evil.
I beg to differ.
MONEY is neutral. The evil is already in the person, and money only allows that evil to manifest.
Do people change after getting a ton of money? I don't think so. It only allows ALL aspects of that person to come out. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Now that the bad is not bound by the fetters of an empty wallet, there need be other ways to keep in under control. That is the TRULY scary bit about money.
Think about it.
I beg to differ.
MONEY is neutral. The evil is already in the person, and money only allows that evil to manifest.
Do people change after getting a ton of money? I don't think so. It only allows ALL aspects of that person to come out. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Now that the bad is not bound by the fetters of an empty wallet, there need be other ways to keep in under control. That is the TRULY scary bit about money.
Think about it.
Power
Loads of different kinds of power in the world.
Most think, physical, politics. The kind that Uncle Lee has, well... That's pretty close to Godhood ain't it?
There are other kinds. Beauty, the ability to persuade, Money. Whilst money is a force by itself. The ability to buy whatever one's heart desires is a kind of power. Technology. In fact, anything with an ability to affect someone else's world is power. The difference? Magnitude.
And with magnitude, comes responsibility. Bruce Almighty was an amazing movie. Funny, of course, Jim Carrey is always funny. But there was an enormous thought that laid under that slapstick humour, that I reckon most of the movie go-ers missed.
If you asked for power, are you ready to take on the responsibility of that same power?
There is always a cost. Always a flipside to everything. Welcome to the real world. Many desire beauty. Or tons of cash. Goodness knows enough people have died to put someone else on a fancy gilded chair (I say, just go Ikea. I'm sure you can DIY a throne, somewhere). Too often, we see the glamour, or the fun, and not the dark side of power, the COST.
Most people want to be beautiful. The flip side? An alienation from the "common masses". It must suck to have half the people one meets reduced to gibbering bags of hormones. Can't get a decent conversation going to save your life. End up attracting 101 sleaze bags, or jerks. It takes a lot of effort to be centre of attention, doesn't it?
Too much money? Too much political power? Simple. Who are your real friends?
Often, people who have power tend to lonliness, or hang with the rest who are similar. In a certain paradox, the person who can best wield power, is also the one who rejects it, and it becomes a necessary burden. Those of you who doubt, consider reading the Parafaith War by L.E. Modesitt Jr.
Overwhelming intelligence? Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card. Real life examples? Da Vinci, Picasso, Einstein even. When one cannot balance the enormous burden of power, one tends towards eccentricity.
My thoughts are that there are 2 ways one can deal with power. Find your balance. Internal or external. Understand that there are concepts bigger than even the enormous burden you are given, and use that power the way one might use a gift. Pray hard for wisdom and for strength to use it. Consider this, that the strongest, greatest, biggest, most POWERFUL creations in nature, are also almost always the most gentle. The blue whale, the elephant... even the most poisonous of snakes are reclusive and would only strike in extreme self defense.
The other? Go mad. Much easier to have an unhinged mind, really. Retreat from reality. Run. Examples you say? Picasso is a classic one.
The next time you ask for a gift, consider. Have you the ability to use it? Can you handle the added responsibility? Heard of the phrase, be careful what you wish for, cos you just might get it? You might.
If you have already been given one (it is my firm belief that everyone is AT LEAST given one, sorry, no useless lives consuming oxygen and food on this Earth as far as I'm concerned) , well, pray for strength, pray for humility, pray for wisdom, and pray for the simple joy that you might derive from using that gift well.
Most think, physical, politics. The kind that Uncle Lee has, well... That's pretty close to Godhood ain't it?
There are other kinds. Beauty, the ability to persuade, Money. Whilst money is a force by itself. The ability to buy whatever one's heart desires is a kind of power. Technology. In fact, anything with an ability to affect someone else's world is power. The difference? Magnitude.
And with magnitude, comes responsibility. Bruce Almighty was an amazing movie. Funny, of course, Jim Carrey is always funny. But there was an enormous thought that laid under that slapstick humour, that I reckon most of the movie go-ers missed.
If you asked for power, are you ready to take on the responsibility of that same power?
There is always a cost. Always a flipside to everything. Welcome to the real world. Many desire beauty. Or tons of cash. Goodness knows enough people have died to put someone else on a fancy gilded chair (I say, just go Ikea. I'm sure you can DIY a throne, somewhere). Too often, we see the glamour, or the fun, and not the dark side of power, the COST.
Most people want to be beautiful. The flip side? An alienation from the "common masses". It must suck to have half the people one meets reduced to gibbering bags of hormones. Can't get a decent conversation going to save your life. End up attracting 101 sleaze bags, or jerks. It takes a lot of effort to be centre of attention, doesn't it?
Too much money? Too much political power? Simple. Who are your real friends?
Often, people who have power tend to lonliness, or hang with the rest who are similar. In a certain paradox, the person who can best wield power, is also the one who rejects it, and it becomes a necessary burden. Those of you who doubt, consider reading the Parafaith War by L.E. Modesitt Jr.
Overwhelming intelligence? Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card. Real life examples? Da Vinci, Picasso, Einstein even. When one cannot balance the enormous burden of power, one tends towards eccentricity.
My thoughts are that there are 2 ways one can deal with power. Find your balance. Internal or external. Understand that there are concepts bigger than even the enormous burden you are given, and use that power the way one might use a gift. Pray hard for wisdom and for strength to use it. Consider this, that the strongest, greatest, biggest, most POWERFUL creations in nature, are also almost always the most gentle. The blue whale, the elephant... even the most poisonous of snakes are reclusive and would only strike in extreme self defense.
The other? Go mad. Much easier to have an unhinged mind, really. Retreat from reality. Run. Examples you say? Picasso is a classic one.
The next time you ask for a gift, consider. Have you the ability to use it? Can you handle the added responsibility? Heard of the phrase, be careful what you wish for, cos you just might get it? You might.
If you have already been given one (it is my firm belief that everyone is AT LEAST given one, sorry, no useless lives consuming oxygen and food on this Earth as far as I'm concerned) , well, pray for strength, pray for humility, pray for wisdom, and pray for the simple joy that you might derive from using that gift well.
Thoughts on Love
Was browsing through some other folks' blogs today, and read something on love on this blog,
www.moblog.com.sg/blog/HostSara.
It occurs to me that most folks love getting swept off their feet. They want the romance in story books, and the "happily ever after".
Hard fact of life: NOT GONNA HAPPEN. EVER.
Sorry folks. Like life, there's probably never gonna be a story of happy-ever-after.
Happy-6-months - 90% of the time. Why? Consider this, for "sweeping off the feet" to occur, there can only be 2 situations.
1. Meet your partner in Judo class. I was... I get swept off my feet about 50 times a week. During grading, I get swept off my feet 50 times a DAY.
2. EVERYTHING is perfect. That means, for one side or the other, it's best-foot-forward time.
Problem is, "Best foot forward" is ALWAYS followed by "other foot catching up". 6 months is about as long as a typical person can tahan doing splits. There is a natural state for most people, best-foot-forward, is NOT natural.
Another thing, and this is absolutely human. After a really short time, even sharks' fin and bird's nest taste like crap. What do I mean? Singing under the block, endless chocs, flowers, talking on the phone till 6am in the morning... They get real old real fast don't they?
We humans hate shite, but it is the 70% shite in life and relationship that allows us to truly appreciate the 30% of the time the flowers bloom. And it be that short time, that makes all that mucking, raking and hard work worth it.
That being said, one's gotta know when to ditch the dead bush out to burn.
I guess my dear sista, Lyd, said it best,"You gotta accept your partner for who he or she is. All of it. The good and the bad, both. That's who that person IS. After that, the 2 of ya have to grow together." Simple isn't it? As with most simple things in life, overlooked and so hard to do. Bound to be some truth in that. She's got married last Sat.
Gotta add to your msg sis... Learnt this from a speaker at the National Achiever's Congress. The partner is there to balance you as well. Growth is uncomfortable and often painful. The partner is there to sooth the aches and encourage when you're down, and kick the ass when one's too comfortable.
Think about it.
www.moblog.com.sg/blog/HostSara.
It occurs to me that most folks love getting swept off their feet. They want the romance in story books, and the "happily ever after".
Hard fact of life: NOT GONNA HAPPEN. EVER.
Sorry folks. Like life, there's probably never gonna be a story of happy-ever-after.
Happy-6-months - 90% of the time. Why? Consider this, for "sweeping off the feet" to occur, there can only be 2 situations.
1. Meet your partner in Judo class. I was... I get swept off my feet about 50 times a week. During grading, I get swept off my feet 50 times a DAY.
2. EVERYTHING is perfect. That means, for one side or the other, it's best-foot-forward time.
Problem is, "Best foot forward" is ALWAYS followed by "other foot catching up". 6 months is about as long as a typical person can tahan doing splits. There is a natural state for most people, best-foot-forward, is NOT natural.
Another thing, and this is absolutely human. After a really short time, even sharks' fin and bird's nest taste like crap. What do I mean? Singing under the block, endless chocs, flowers, talking on the phone till 6am in the morning... They get real old real fast don't they?
We humans hate shite, but it is the 70% shite in life and relationship that allows us to truly appreciate the 30% of the time the flowers bloom. And it be that short time, that makes all that mucking, raking and hard work worth it.
That being said, one's gotta know when to ditch the dead bush out to burn.
I guess my dear sista, Lyd, said it best,"You gotta accept your partner for who he or she is. All of it. The good and the bad, both. That's who that person IS. After that, the 2 of ya have to grow together." Simple isn't it? As with most simple things in life, overlooked and so hard to do. Bound to be some truth in that. She's got married last Sat.
Gotta add to your msg sis... Learnt this from a speaker at the National Achiever's Congress. The partner is there to balance you as well. Growth is uncomfortable and often painful. The partner is there to sooth the aches and encourage when you're down, and kick the ass when one's too comfortable.
Think about it.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Looking back
I just realized read through again some of the things that I wrote...
Man, it was THAT long ago since I wrote?
I can still remember that crazy night.
As you probably know, I drink a LOT less now. I don't usually drink when I'm depressed... It's weird. I'm one of those types that actually over drink when I'm happy. Caught up in the moment, and the like.
Anyways, right about now, I have a freaking toothache, and no time to visit the dentist.
Procrastinating about doing the write ups. Sheesh... writing IS draining in someways... liberating in others... I haven't decided which yet.
Man, it was THAT long ago since I wrote?
I can still remember that crazy night.
As you probably know, I drink a LOT less now. I don't usually drink when I'm depressed... It's weird. I'm one of those types that actually over drink when I'm happy. Caught up in the moment, and the like.
Anyways, right about now, I have a freaking toothache, and no time to visit the dentist.
Procrastinating about doing the write ups. Sheesh... writing IS draining in someways... liberating in others... I haven't decided which yet.
A year on
I have recently took to being a voyeur.
Fuck no dude! I don't mean I am running around with a pair of night vision goggles and peeping at couples in compromising positions.
I recently acquired the habit of reading other people blogs and peeping into their lives.
What is this newfound facination? I don't know, but looking at other people's experiences does give me more input, though I'm stuck at the office for extended periods of time. Kinda like a window into other people's lives where I live their experiences vicariously.
Now that got me to post again.
Yeah, I haven't done it for the longest time, but since I'm sitting in front of the computer, in the office, completely dry of inspiration and attempting to squeeze something out, I thought, hell why not... Let the words flow for a while and let's see if we can come up with something proper later.
A couple of things I realized. People are often lamenting about change. Prices changing, going up. People and places that moved beyond recognition after just a couple of years. And I thought... WTF?? What's the gripe about change, really?
I posted this comment in another blog, one from blinkymummy... I guess quite a lot of things led to me writing this, but hey, can't be plagerism if I was the same person that wrote this right?
"Hey what's wrong with change? Everything in the world evolves, right? That's what makes the world we live in so interesting isn't it?
Sure certain things we want to treasure and keep close to us. That is why we have our memory.
On the other hand, growing up does not mean growing cynical, or jaded. It means to grow through the shite. In fact, fertilizer is shit too, but in a different context right?
Someone real smart once said that life is 70% shite. Unfortunately, we humans are made such that we cannot grow without pain. The periods that gets us down are also the periods that we learn and grow the most.
So now I welcome pain, I welcome growth and new experiences. I welcome stepping out of my comfort zone and the awkwardness of learning things all over again. I hope I can do that till the day I die."
I seriously hope that this is true. I have learnt a LOT over the last year, since that fateful day I left APB. There still more to learn, other areas to explore, and hey, shit comes, shit goes... hopefully the lesson will remain.
Fuck no dude! I don't mean I am running around with a pair of night vision goggles and peeping at couples in compromising positions.
I recently acquired the habit of reading other people blogs and peeping into their lives.
What is this newfound facination? I don't know, but looking at other people's experiences does give me more input, though I'm stuck at the office for extended periods of time. Kinda like a window into other people's lives where I live their experiences vicariously.
Now that got me to post again.
Yeah, I haven't done it for the longest time, but since I'm sitting in front of the computer, in the office, completely dry of inspiration and attempting to squeeze something out, I thought, hell why not... Let the words flow for a while and let's see if we can come up with something proper later.
A couple of things I realized. People are often lamenting about change. Prices changing, going up. People and places that moved beyond recognition after just a couple of years. And I thought... WTF?? What's the gripe about change, really?
I posted this comment in another blog, one from blinkymummy... I guess quite a lot of things led to me writing this, but hey, can't be plagerism if I was the same person that wrote this right?
"Hey what's wrong with change? Everything in the world evolves, right? That's what makes the world we live in so interesting isn't it?
Sure certain things we want to treasure and keep close to us. That is why we have our memory.
On the other hand, growing up does not mean growing cynical, or jaded. It means to grow through the shite. In fact, fertilizer is shit too, but in a different context right?
Someone real smart once said that life is 70% shite. Unfortunately, we humans are made such that we cannot grow without pain. The periods that gets us down are also the periods that we learn and grow the most.
So now I welcome pain, I welcome growth and new experiences. I welcome stepping out of my comfort zone and the awkwardness of learning things all over again. I hope I can do that till the day I die."
I seriously hope that this is true. I have learnt a LOT over the last year, since that fateful day I left APB. There still more to learn, other areas to explore, and hey, shit comes, shit goes... hopefully the lesson will remain.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Monday and Tuesday
Decided to group this together cos I reckon that I should probably cut a long story short.
Spent the whole of Monday deliberating whether I should sms Shal, but sending only one in the end. Asked her if I can meet her in the evening, after her dance class. She said no but I went anyway. Got the works. present, flowers, and chocs, all side stuff... wanted to get her just to start talking to me...
finally got the story out of her. Too embaressing for too many people to blog, ask me if you wanna know, and I don't think I should say it here. Ask if you wanna know and I'll tell in private.
Anyway, I really want her to forgive me, and everything. Knowing that it's not possible to do it, I want to really prove to her that I can be the kinda guy she can put her faith in... she kept saying it's too late... damn that hurts...
Tuesday was kinda gloomy as well... there was a Thai delegation coming in the evening from the brewery there, but frankly I was too sian to be of much help.
Anyways, met Kelvin and firmed up the deal some. So as much as I wanna stay in APB, I'm not sure if I can. Considering all that's happened, I think I should put some distance between me and temptation. Till I can truly be self-actualized, I shall not drink more than 2 mugs on any night, whatever the cost.
Wednesday
Still feeling shitty about Sat... and understanding how much I let Shal down and thrashing her trust... I'll have to build things up again... bit by bit... and to win her heart back, as well as her trust. Tall order isn't it? I don't know how I'll do it... but I know I will and I'm hanging on like a doggie on its favourite chew toy...
Spent the whole of Monday deliberating whether I should sms Shal, but sending only one in the end. Asked her if I can meet her in the evening, after her dance class. She said no but I went anyway. Got the works. present, flowers, and chocs, all side stuff... wanted to get her just to start talking to me...
finally got the story out of her. Too embaressing for too many people to blog, ask me if you wanna know, and I don't think I should say it here. Ask if you wanna know and I'll tell in private.
Anyway, I really want her to forgive me, and everything. Knowing that it's not possible to do it, I want to really prove to her that I can be the kinda guy she can put her faith in... she kept saying it's too late... damn that hurts...
Tuesday was kinda gloomy as well... there was a Thai delegation coming in the evening from the brewery there, but frankly I was too sian to be of much help.
Anyways, met Kelvin and firmed up the deal some. So as much as I wanna stay in APB, I'm not sure if I can. Considering all that's happened, I think I should put some distance between me and temptation. Till I can truly be self-actualized, I shall not drink more than 2 mugs on any night, whatever the cost.
Wednesday
Still feeling shitty about Sat... and understanding how much I let Shal down and thrashing her trust... I'll have to build things up again... bit by bit... and to win her heart back, as well as her trust. Tall order isn't it? I don't know how I'll do it... but I know I will and I'm hanging on like a doggie on its favourite chew toy...
Sunday
Sunday
When I woke up in a suite in the morning... it came as some kind of shock to me. Where the hell am I and what I am doing here comes to mind. Next question was where was shal? Is she alright? Oh no, she must be late for her ceremony.
Then I take up my handphone, and sees that she's so angry at me, that she wants to breakup and I'm like what the hell happened yesterday night?!
Panic, excused myself earliest opportunity possible and ran out. Feels terrible... but not having the foggiest about what happened the night before... SMS Shal, and she didn't reply, call her no answer. Took a cab to the Indoor Stadium cos I thought that's where she said the ceremony will be held. Not there.
Next location, Shal's place. nobody at home. Double Panic. Now starting to take stock of my situation. Decided to head home to change, and shower. I look horrible and reckon that I'll probably not make a good impression with her friends.
Decided on a systematic approach to searching. Few possible locations, of which I'll check all. Checked her house first, still nobody, then it was City Hall, nope. There's a chocolate shop though, so got some for her. Then Dance class at Tanjong Pagar. Nada. Probably still at the ceremony.
Then I realized that I have her mum's phone. So called, and got a reply. Said they were heading back to Loyang, and that's where I went. Chocolate starting to melt... not good...
Reached Loyang. Talked to Shal's mum, Shal was sleeping. When she woke she wouldn't talk to me, and said it's too late, and it's all over. Didn't know what to say, really... Brain blanked out. Followed her around, apologize, but she won't say anything. Went to her dance practice and sent her home, without getting anything more than a peep from her. At this point of time, of course, I was both confused, scared of losing her, and 1001 things going through my mind.
Got nothing out of her except she don't wanna talk to me, don't wanna even look at me... so ended up going home, even more confused and panicked and in pain.
When I woke up in a suite in the morning... it came as some kind of shock to me. Where the hell am I and what I am doing here comes to mind. Next question was where was shal? Is she alright? Oh no, she must be late for her ceremony.
Then I take up my handphone, and sees that she's so angry at me, that she wants to breakup and I'm like what the hell happened yesterday night?!
Panic, excused myself earliest opportunity possible and ran out. Feels terrible... but not having the foggiest about what happened the night before... SMS Shal, and she didn't reply, call her no answer. Took a cab to the Indoor Stadium cos I thought that's where she said the ceremony will be held. Not there.
Next location, Shal's place. nobody at home. Double Panic. Now starting to take stock of my situation. Decided to head home to change, and shower. I look horrible and reckon that I'll probably not make a good impression with her friends.
Decided on a systematic approach to searching. Few possible locations, of which I'll check all. Checked her house first, still nobody, then it was City Hall, nope. There's a chocolate shop though, so got some for her. Then Dance class at Tanjong Pagar. Nada. Probably still at the ceremony.
Then I realized that I have her mum's phone. So called, and got a reply. Said they were heading back to Loyang, and that's where I went. Chocolate starting to melt... not good...
Reached Loyang. Talked to Shal's mum, Shal was sleeping. When she woke she wouldn't talk to me, and said it's too late, and it's all over. Didn't know what to say, really... Brain blanked out. Followed her around, apologize, but she won't say anything. Went to her dance practice and sent her home, without getting anything more than a peep from her. At this point of time, of course, I was both confused, scared of losing her, and 1001 things going through my mind.
Got nothing out of her except she don't wanna talk to me, don't wanna even look at me... so ended up going home, even more confused and panicked and in pain.
Part III The saga continues
Saturday
Now Sat is a damn eventful day. Tzao Shen's wedding was in the evening... quite excited about that, but got into a dilemma of what to wear. Called up a few people, and tried to get their ideas. Samantha from Heineken was sick, Jon's gf Hazel was wearing a sundress... Called Kat, the life saver in the end and she had wonderful plans! suggested a sarong, and went to pick it up from her before I went for Tzao's wedding.
In case you're wondering, Shal's the one wearing the sarong, not me.... I was thinking of wearing one though, yes I have one, from Myanmmar. But since Kat approved my beige pants, i went with that. Got to the party at 8pm, just after the entrance of Tzao and Tori. Was looking out for Hazel, but can't see her... Anyway, the wedding's fantastic, the food's great, and the place was rocking.
Shal came, and I passed her the sarong. Went back to the party, realized that shorts were pretty cool as well, and got changed again. Hey, whatever's comfortable... I was probably the only guy without sleeves... watched an outstanding 10 year old couple dance the cha cha, and remembered that Tori did mention her aunt was Gladys, of Shawn and Gladys fame at Joseph Yeong's wedding. Anyways, everything was pretty good till this point.
Then things started going downhill. They started the dancing of course, next to the DJ console.... some pretty funky RnB. That's good. And Darryl and David Ho somehow managed to get a whole bottle of vodka to themselves. Now I haven't drank vodka for a while, but after months in APB, I'm pretty familiar with my alcohol limit. Took one sip from the bottle, and then some beer to wash it down. Things were OK at this point of time.
Dance some more, and talked to this chap called Kenny. Anyways, lemme just go into recall mode here. I remember drinking one more shot from the vodka bottle, but knowing full well I'm drinking below my limit at this point, and then washed it down with some vodka redbull. Now here comes the whammy. After I took that, I remember only 2 things. Dancing a little in the circle, and dancing with Adam. After that, I don't remember ANYTHING. Is it the vodka? or is it me sleeping only at 5am the night before, I don't know. All I know is I lost all memory of what I am doing from that point.
For you chaps who don't know me, I am not a hardcore drinker. Yes, I have gotten drunk quite a few times since I started in APB, but I am usually a fair judge of alcohol, and when I am close I'll begin to discreetly excuse myself. Things like "checking market share" and "need to go to the loo" or finding a really interesting neighbour to talk to at length about nothing becomes no. 1 priority. The whole time I was in APB, I only KO once without memory, and that was the first time I drank Guinness with the old uncles at the coffeeshop. Never after that. I may have been drunk, but never completely without any recollection of the previous evening.
Now Sat is a damn eventful day. Tzao Shen's wedding was in the evening... quite excited about that, but got into a dilemma of what to wear. Called up a few people, and tried to get their ideas. Samantha from Heineken was sick, Jon's gf Hazel was wearing a sundress... Called Kat, the life saver in the end and she had wonderful plans! suggested a sarong, and went to pick it up from her before I went for Tzao's wedding.
In case you're wondering, Shal's the one wearing the sarong, not me.... I was thinking of wearing one though, yes I have one, from Myanmmar. But since Kat approved my beige pants, i went with that. Got to the party at 8pm, just after the entrance of Tzao and Tori. Was looking out for Hazel, but can't see her... Anyway, the wedding's fantastic, the food's great, and the place was rocking.
Shal came, and I passed her the sarong. Went back to the party, realized that shorts were pretty cool as well, and got changed again. Hey, whatever's comfortable... I was probably the only guy without sleeves... watched an outstanding 10 year old couple dance the cha cha, and remembered that Tori did mention her aunt was Gladys, of Shawn and Gladys fame at Joseph Yeong's wedding. Anyways, everything was pretty good till this point.
Then things started going downhill. They started the dancing of course, next to the DJ console.... some pretty funky RnB. That's good. And Darryl and David Ho somehow managed to get a whole bottle of vodka to themselves. Now I haven't drank vodka for a while, but after months in APB, I'm pretty familiar with my alcohol limit. Took one sip from the bottle, and then some beer to wash it down. Things were OK at this point of time.
Dance some more, and talked to this chap called Kenny. Anyways, lemme just go into recall mode here. I remember drinking one more shot from the vodka bottle, but knowing full well I'm drinking below my limit at this point, and then washed it down with some vodka redbull. Now here comes the whammy. After I took that, I remember only 2 things. Dancing a little in the circle, and dancing with Adam. After that, I don't remember ANYTHING. Is it the vodka? or is it me sleeping only at 5am the night before, I don't know. All I know is I lost all memory of what I am doing from that point.
For you chaps who don't know me, I am not a hardcore drinker. Yes, I have gotten drunk quite a few times since I started in APB, but I am usually a fair judge of alcohol, and when I am close I'll begin to discreetly excuse myself. Things like "checking market share" and "need to go to the loo" or finding a really interesting neighbour to talk to at length about nothing becomes no. 1 priority. The whole time I was in APB, I only KO once without memory, and that was the first time I drank Guinness with the old uncles at the coffeeshop. Never after that. I may have been drunk, but never completely without any recollection of the previous evening.
My week 10-16th June Cont.
Friday
pretty mundane actually, still hyped up about how the opportunity opened up for me in my life. Shared with Kat, and decided to try to motivate her out of her unhapppiness... think I may have achieved slight success... Went home and got the quotation from the Japanese Association... at $450 that's pretty full on... but still Shal said that we should probably go through the Association and make them think it's their idea, then we'll get a huge discount... damn smart my gf, I tell you.
And she also said she went to tell Patrick that she's teaching a class, that's why she can't go for friday's dance class... Damn! I don't know if I would dare to do something like that... Watched Prisoner of Askaban, which, incidentally rocked... went home to attempt to get my proposal for Kelvin out... tat lasted till hmmm about 5am before I gave up...
pretty mundane actually, still hyped up about how the opportunity opened up for me in my life. Shared with Kat, and decided to try to motivate her out of her unhapppiness... think I may have achieved slight success... Went home and got the quotation from the Japanese Association... at $450 that's pretty full on... but still Shal said that we should probably go through the Association and make them think it's their idea, then we'll get a huge discount... damn smart my gf, I tell you.
And she also said she went to tell Patrick that she's teaching a class, that's why she can't go for friday's dance class... Damn! I don't know if I would dare to do something like that... Watched Prisoner of Askaban, which, incidentally rocked... went home to attempt to get my proposal for Kelvin out... tat lasted till hmmm about 5am before I gave up...
Step no. 2
Yes yes, I know it's been a whole week since I posted online. But it's been a pretty intense week for me... full of moderate highs, and pretty intense lows.
I'm thinking of how to chronicle the saga of the past week, and I'm left with 2 options. One, a record of all my highs, and then a record of all my lows... and the other, to do it in chronological order.
As messy as I am with time, I reckon I'll do the chronology.
Thursday
After the first step, it's been a pretty good Thursday for me... and a Friday, as well. Was it a Thursday, that I was talking to Kelvin, the boy genius of an investor. Initially I was suppose to be scolding him, after all he's late in payments again to Shal. But then I thought.. hey... let's give this lesson that I just learnt a go. And after talking to him, I realized that I am in a position to add value to his company! This is great!
I strongly recommend this method of thinking to anyone. Instead of going over and slaughtering anyone who crosses you, think about how best I can help that person get his job done better.
I'm thinking of how to chronicle the saga of the past week, and I'm left with 2 options. One, a record of all my highs, and then a record of all my lows... and the other, to do it in chronological order.
As messy as I am with time, I reckon I'll do the chronology.
Thursday
After the first step, it's been a pretty good Thursday for me... and a Friday, as well. Was it a Thursday, that I was talking to Kelvin, the boy genius of an investor. Initially I was suppose to be scolding him, after all he's late in payments again to Shal. But then I thought.. hey... let's give this lesson that I just learnt a go. And after talking to him, I realized that I am in a position to add value to his company! This is great!
I strongly recommend this method of thinking to anyone. Instead of going over and slaughtering anyone who crosses you, think about how best I can help that person get his job done better.
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