Interesting Times

Yesterday the trip to MoS was... Interesting.

Only reason why I headed down to MoS was simply cos my boy, T told me that the resident RnB DJ was sharing sets with Koflow. Not something an RnB enthusiast can miss.

Anyway, T and I ran right SMACK into 1 for 1. What's two thirsty dudes to do? 2 jugs of brandy dry, coming right up.

And then the first incident of the night. We put our jugs down and were enjoying the music, which incidentally was AWESOME. Next thing we knew, someone STOLE one of our jugs. Yes, I shit you not. There was someone sitting on the chair next to us, this guy with his mohawk hair gelled into spikes (no, I don't think you can miss anyone like this), and he disappeared along with our jug. That ASSHOLE. No I can't prove anything, but T was pissed, my fuse was burning but... well, I'll live.

Fast forward a couple of hours of bouncing, and calling Koflow the Pied Piper of Hamlin, cos every time I go for one of his gigs there's always a TON of kids. Either I'm old, or it was paedo heaven. And then, for the first time in 7 years of clubbing, yours truly, Mr Make Love, Not War got into a fight.

T met up with a couple of friends and we were dancing on the dance floor, when 2 obviously Pumped-Up Bengs started sqeezing their way next to us.

Now, it was a crowded dance floor. It's a normal thing to squeeze around. In fact, tunnelling around the mass of humans, kinda like an earthworm through the dirt is about the only way to get around. But I digress.

These 2 PUBs were pretty agressive in getting their space. Now that does not sit well with me, and so I turned my head, and addressed them as such,"Hey dude, not much space here on the dance floor, take it easy aight?" Now I can SENSE the mood change behind me even as I finished speaking. But innocently thinking that it'll fade after some time, I carried on my merry way.

For the next fifteen minutes or so, there was increased shoving from the before mentioned PUBs. When one finally jabbed an elbow into my rib, I turned around and "excuse me" to which the response was a hard shove, and one PUB letting loose a string of expletives and telling me rather strongly to go away.

And then, PUB 3 and PUB 4 decided to join in the fray. I stood my ground, and tried rationalizing. Ladies and gentlemen, case in point, when facing down PUBs and other enraged wildlife, the RATIONAL thing to do, is to find the nearest whip and chair. In my head, I was thinking, if I start pounding said PUBs, I might get barred from MoS. I do not like MoS all that much (in fract, I much prefer Zouk) but I hate getting my choices curtailed.

Now in the span of this musing, a hand shot out to grab me by the neck and tried doing the "movie-one-hand-lift". Now not a smart thing to do. Now folks, if you are ever in a brawl, NEVER Attempt doing something like that. It might look like a perfect pose to intimidate, BUT, 1. You're not Terminator. 2. Unless you do 50kg dumbbell curls, it can't be done. 3. If you're attempting to lift a nasty lil bastard like me, doing that puts me in perfect position to solve any further need for Durex but introducing your family jewels to my foot at 80 km/h, or instant rhinoplasty with my fist.

Again, the possible loss of access to shiny retro floor, pink security guards, and overpriced booze flashes across my head. As such, to the regret of mankind, I did none of those things. Oh, don't mistake me, I am SPOILING for a fight. I. HATE. BULLIES. I hate bullies even more when they come in an entire gang, and I have spent much of my time as a kid planning and plotting on how to take them down. On rare occasions, I have actually had the privilege of executing those plans.

So I only forcefully removed his fingers from my throat. T tried to intervene, wherein, one of the herd pulled his shirt and tore his bling off his neck. It was at that point in time, that the security came in (thanks Gabriel). We moved away and after some time to cool off, carried on dancing.

Good things that came out of this,
1. It gives me an opening to talk to otherwise untouchable security.
(I directed said security to the PUBs after a while, and let them get to work. I am going to MoS maybe Friday, and see if justice has prevailed.)

2. The adrenalin resulted in more energy to carry on dance.

3. Well... There's no 3.

T and I left MoS before the PUBs, grabbed a drink at the 7-11 before heading back. Hopefully his bling can be fixed. If not, I reckon I'll get him another one. On a side note, a perverse side of me looks forward to the day that I will meet those PUBs again. This time, in a place I don't MIND getting banned from.