New Year Resolutions

1. I shall not get hammered.

2. I shall keep the current phone I have right now, till the end of the year.

3. I shall cut down on swearing, except behind the wheel.

Baby steps, baby steps... Review every month end. Let's go!

Well Done Edmund

For NOT getting hammered yesterday night.

The guitar was a good shield against incoming drinks.

Note to self: Bring guitar for drinking sessions. Ask to be paid in cash, not kinds. Oh, and learn a few more songs.

Twas the Night Before Christmas...

Yes, folks. As I mentioned last year, it's CHRISTmas again.

And here's a random fact about me. I. Do. Not. Party. On. Christmas. Or the eve for that matter.


This is the one day of the year, I believe to spend with the people that are significant to me, rather than making out with a hot, random woman in a dark corner of a club.


That's not to say that I'll say no, if some hot, random woman wants to snog me when I walk past on the streets. But priorities go to my friends, and my family at this time.


Here's a shout out to thank those who made me who I am. I'm sure the world will forgive you, one day. I'll thank each one of your individually.



So this is the season for love. Go out and do some loving. But be safe doing it.

For the First Time...

the shouts of "Referee Kayu!" echoed across the basketball court at the Indoor Stadium.

Singapore Slingers just got a little more Singaporean. Heh heh heh.

My report of the match in a while... but in the mean time...

It's times like this that you know, that I am loved by the powers that be.

Cheer leaders with short skirts and beer. It was a good game.

ADV: Who Stole Me?

Now you know how much phone thieves like me... Now there's something to get back at them. It's not exactly a detonator in the phone, but it IS the next best thing.



Get that stolen gadget back!

With the advancement of technology, more and more gadgets are getting smaller packing much more information than before.

When a device like your mobile phone, pda phone, blackberry, iPod, digital camera, USB flash drive or your Mac laptop is stolen, it's not just the pain of never getting it BAK2u again but also the very real risk of losing all your invaluable data too.

Most importantly, why risk it all to identity theft? You do not know who now holds your device with all that information.
Act now not later.

Details: BestMobileSoftwares.com

Ads by BLOG2u.SG

Another Slingers Game

ONE. MORE. DAY.

Lemme loosen up my lungs.

"REFEREE KAYU!"

The Higher We Climb

I am afraid of heights.

There, I said it. Put me by the side of a building, and I get sweaty palms, my legs start to tremble and I have an overwhelming urge to run away from the vertigo. The same with toe socks and Teletubbies.

And that's the reason why I think I'm gonna go take up skydiving.

I am also terrified of climbing high in life, and then getting arrogant, getting snotty and walk around with a swagger that says that my balls are too big for my pants and my head so large that the DHL can use me for a balloon. Actually come to think of it, I'm not afraid of climbing, I am afraid of becoming arrogant.

So this is a thank you to all those people that keep my head firmly between my shoulders.

My mates that remind me that no matter how high I go, I still look shite in a pink dress.

My family who, in spite of everything that has happened to me so far, still think far better of me than I deserve. I will never be able to pay my dad back for raising me, my mom for making sure I will always have dinner if I want it, and my brother for volunteering to kick the ass of anyone who he hears slandering his big brother.

The people I meet no matter how briefly. I thank you because you teach me something, and that no matter how high I climb, there's always something more for me to learn, and therefore S² (Sit the f*** down and Shut the F*** up) and take notes.

"The higher you climb, the more humble you must be."

I'm A Superstar!

This is in memory of the library @ Orchard. The bookworm in me'll miss the place. No more place to sleep when I am between appointments.



Thank you Jean for involving me in the project. Thanks to Ridz, Alice, Tianhong, and Ridzuan's friend who I forgot the name of, for putting up with my endless chatter. The effects of sleep deprivation is insidious.

First New Year Resolution

In this new year, I shall NOT.GET.DRUNK.

Stop laughing dammit.

In Memory of Foxer

Looking back, I still think of my granny's dog. It's called Foxer and I like to think of it as a him.


Foxer's pretty responsible. Anyone that comes to the gate at my grandma's place, he'll rush out to bark his head off. When that someone puts a hand on the gate latch, he feels it has done his duty, and heads back to his usual place under this really big table in the front yard.



Foxer is generous. Unless we chase away the neighbourhood cats from his dinner, he'll lie under his table and wait for them to eat their fill before sauntering out to eat whatever's left. After a few years of chasing off those persistent cats, we just put 4 portions of food in the bowl.



Foxer is tolerant, he'd bear with all of us kids mucking about with him despite warnings from our parents about how dirty he is. I believe that half the dirt on him was contributed by us.



Foxer helped with our education. We used to pull the ticks and fleas off his skin, spray them individually with repellent to see if they die. They don't. We always wondered if they get shunned by the rest of their gang because of the BO.

Foxer was really old when my grandma moved and the new place didn't have a garden and didn't allowed big dogs. I heard he was put down, but I guess I was a little too young to fully understand what was going on.

When I drove past my grandma's old place today, the rambutan, mango and starfruit trees are not there anymore. The big plot of land is now seperated into 2 huge semi-Ds. Well, time may have past, but the memories remain.

I don't miss Foxer. I don't miss my childhood days. But they still are precious jewels in my memory that I take out sometimes to polish and smile over.

Take it easy, Foxer.

Bloody Zoukout!

Literally. I survived the night with abrasions down my right arm and cuts on my palms and leg. I just hope that I had enough fun to warrent all of that.

Thanks HB for getting my friends and I free tix into Zoukout. Lack of sleep and pre-party drinks do not mix well. As I keep telling myself, and I keep forgetting.

Hey Ecstacy, Damn good to finally meet you man. I'll collect my stuff from you, and get you a teh tarik in the process. (Note the lack of alcohol in that statement.)

Turns out drummer boy's lil sister is my junior in dance. It's a small world after all. What up Steph!

For the rest of the folks that I have met, and do not remember because there's wayyy too much booze in me, I apologize. Thank you ALL for taking care of me.

Now to find a replacement for that LCD screen that I broke... I am officially anathema to new phones as well.

Oh What A Night!

Thanks Andy for inviting me for the Slingers game on Sunday.

Now I haven't been to a basketball game since National schools in JC, and those of you who have seen me playing with balls that aren't my own know that I am hopeless at anything related to spheres of any sort.

In bowling, it's a miracle if it goes past to the realm of 3 digits. In pool, I make everyone else look good. Soccer, I get my face whacked by the ball so many times, I actually make a decent goal keeper. The last I stopped cos it was getting too expensive replacing spectacles.

But, what. an. experience.

First up, the corporate box. Fwah. Talk about getting up close and personal to the action.

And the fringe benefits, free beer. Nuff said.

Game's pretty exciting. You know, I think now, that everyone should go to a Slingers game, if you haven't been to one. There is something immensely satisfying about shouting and getting involved in a basketball game.

Maybe it's the air-crobatics that you see on NBA but you know you can never do.

Maybe it's the excitement and anticipation that comes with every pass, every rebound, every shot that when you blink you might miss a one-in-a-lifetime moment.

Maybe it's the cheerleaders. (It might be sacrilegous to say it but as much as I enjoyed thegame, I looked forward to the time-outs as well.)

Next time round, we're gonna educate the ang mohs about our Singaporean version of cheers, shouts and jeers. Starting with the infamous "REFEREE KAYU".

Can't wait.

Pictures, refer to these trigger-happy folks:
Sabrina
Precious
Andy (of course)
Sheylara
Jason
Claudia

Finally a big Thank YOU to Nic who got us the tix. Brilliant game, wish you were here.

The Beginning of Love is the End of Logic

This is for anyone who has ever been in love before. And yes, contrary to popular belief, there have been occasions where I have been completely stupid and starry-eyed.



Good to know that guys aren't the only people who have problems with blood rushing everywhere else but the brain when we meet the person we like.

Apple Pwns PC. Again

Think CF can empathize on this.

Birthday Wishes.

This is what I want for me birthday....

A Sherlock Holmes Pipe.

OR...

My old hat that I lost last year during my birthday. It's the one year anniversary, and I miss it!

yes, it's a pink dress. Now look at the CAP dammit!

Oh, and I want gratituous, torrid, mindblowing sex with with a really hot woman. I'll settle for 2 out of 3.

What I Learnt From KL

I now realize what they mean when they say that you learn something about yourself when you travel.

My first ever trip to KL taught me... that my friends and I are taboo to convertibles.

Friend's dad a huge collector of cars, so when we stayed over, we couldn't resist trying out all the various cars in his garage.

We first took the Ferarri out for a spin. That ended about 20 minutes later, cos the thermostat blew out and the engine stalled. At least it was a glam car we pushed. HEH.

that's the ferrari we whacked

Later that night, we took the BMW M3 out. The top was down, the wind in our hair, and that lasted till we hit Zouk KL. then, the engine died. Couldn't get it restarted.

The BMW M3. A classic. Till we got our hands on it.

Maybe God was saying, Do not drink and drive.

Looks like I'm staying with cars with tops for now.

We're Off to See the Wizard

Not exactly... but I'm heading down a long asphalt road to KL.

Any recommendations on food to eat, places to go, and people to harress?

Tagged

Tagged by Skye.

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog…

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself…
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs…
4. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Here goes.

1. I wore a sarong to my friend's pre wedding party in Norway because they wanted something to remind them of Singapore.

2. I keep a pet rock with lichen on my window sill, also from Norway.

3. When I was in university, my room-mate and I found a bat at our front door in the morning. We kept it as a pet and named it Bruce.

4. I get freaked out by people putting in and taking out their earrings.

5. It is my strong belief that the next Child's Play sequal will be called "Teletubbies, the Movie".

6. This is the first time I was ever tagged.

7. I have never been to KL in my life. Ever.

The next victims will be... Andy, Peanut Butter Wolf, Oceanic, Nicolekiss, Hostsara, Melbourne Babe, Rachael (since she doesn't have access yet, mommy will have to fill it in for her)

It is finished, and I see that it is good.

To Those Who Have Gone Before

The best way to remember and honour the people we love who has passed on before us, is to live our own lives to the fullness that they can no longer do.

"No Reserves, No Retreats, No Regrets"

Cheers, Alvin and Brandon and Yi Shi. Catch ya'll later.

Gimme One Reason to Stay Here, Part II

or, How to get women to make the first move.

Following on from here.

It would be nice won't it? Getting women to do the work for once. Here's a few ways I think will work.

1. Extensive plastic surgery, and serious waxing. Because no matter how much women deny it and want to believe that looks do NOT matter, and they are not shallow, it's BS. Looks do matter, and women are shallow. Sometimes.

From this.... to this.

2. Have a million dollars to blow. Pick up the tab, take her shopping at places where you can't pronounce the name. You're likely to be teased, flirted with, and even possibly kissed.

Chances are, you'll also go back with nothing more than blue balls. Said balls are also likely to shrink when you get your credit card bill at the end of the month.

Why are cows angry all the time?

See how you'd feel if you get your tits worked all the time and not get any.

Now for those of us who are not related to the Sultan of Brunei in any way, we might just have to settle for the other ways stated below.

3. Dress well. Let's face it. Humans like looking at pretty things. If you're not convinced that women are as shallow as men, look at the way they drool over completely inane things like bags, shoes, jewellery, the artist known as Rain...

That means you pay SOME attention to your dressing. A clean shirt, pressed pants, brush your teeth, and comb your hair. Oh, and cut your fingernails. Neantherdal charm is overrated.

And since womenkind has a tendancy to read wayyyyy too much into things, take a page out of their playing books. A friend told me once, that the reason why he goes for manicures is because, "It looks good, gives me something to talk to the gals about, and it doesn't give them a nasty scratch when I finger them run my hands over their back."

4. Eye Contact. When talking to a woman, look at her eyes. NOT her tits. Paying attention is subtle flattery as well as not-so-common courtesy. It is a lot harder when there are more interesting bits of course. You can have your fill later.

If a REALLY hot chick walks past, you are allowed to glance. After which, it goes back to the woman you're talking to. Do what you want AFTER you excuse yourself to go to the gents.

The front gun of the Apache Attack Helicoptor is said to follow the eye movement of the pilot.

There is now a dress code in most US air bases.

5. Be confident. Even if you are not, pretend to be, but do not over-compensate. Money, fast cars, snappy dressing don't make a man confident. It enhances confidence. If you have it, you have it. If you don't, go get it.

Nobody likes a wussy boy. You're a man. Act like one. If need be, rent and watch every. single. movie that Antonio Bandares starred in. Twice.

Take notes.

6. Learn to dance. The Vertical Expression of Horizontal Desire, Legalized by Music. No, Mambo moves at Zouk on a Friday night does not count.


7. If all else fail, there's something attractive about a man who's already taken. Maybe it's the lure of the forbidden fruit. Maybe the worth of the man is already proven, after all, another of the same species is willing to spend the rest of her life with him. Or maybe, it's...

Courtesy of this gentleman

Happy Birthday to Me

This year, my birthday celebrations, very possibly, are going to be overseas.

For the first time in my life I'll be headed to KL.

Overseas with evil friends. At least nobody's gonna bring a pink dress.

I may need to inspect their luggage before driving up.

Anyone up for heading north a week from now?

Welcome

A little ironic. A late post for someone who came early.

Hello my dear Rachael. Welcome to the world.



She's gonna have some attitude when she grows up. God help the boys 15 years from now.

Uncle Edmund is waiting to see what'll happen then.

Thought of The Day

"Good intentions are nothing. Action and results are everything."

- Bob Bly

Sounds cold blooded and mercenary? Maybe. But I've seen too many people talking and not enough people doing to think anything else.

Think I've wrote about this once.

On a curiosity spree, I once tried asking every person I come across if they ever wanted to be a boss. 80% of the people say they do.

When asked if they have don't anything about it, about 73% said no. Of that group, 99% cited MONEY to be the main issue.

My next question, was well, if I gave ya a million bucks right now, and told you to spend it, what would you do with it? Here's an excerpt from a conversation I had with a taxi driver.

"Uncle, what if I gave you $10 million right now, what would you do?" (it's not a typo.)

"Quit my job, travel the world, buy a new house, invest the rest"

"What about your idea? Aren't you gonna try it?"

"Don't think so lah"

"Why not?"

"Later lose the money that you gave me already then how?"

"But you can do that after you finish enjoying mah. You probably won't finish the money"

"Not so good lah. Better not. A bit paiseh about losing the money, and wasting it"

I shut up then, because my dad was next to me and telling me that I was rude. I'm thinking to myself, spending on travelling, and shopping and all that jazz is a BETTER use of money? WTF?

But remember the walls around are there to show how much you really want the things you want. It's there for the other people. Not you.

If you don't bother trying, or sod it after once or twice, then you are probably the "others" that the walls are keeping out.

Jack Lalane

Alright, for you self-improvement types. Check this guy out.

50 years ahead of his time, 90+ years old and still can do enough pull-ups to put an army boy to shame.

Give Me One Reason To Stay Here

Lucky Kenny. Got sponsor to get him to write about one of my favourite topics - the mating dance between the male and female Homo Sapiens.

Sometimes I wonder, how the FUCK we evolved so complicated a mating ritual. And how, in spite of that (or maybe because of it), we manage to procreate and populate the whole goddam earth. If this does not reek of divine intervention, nothing does.

Anyways, I was reading his series sponsored, incidentally by Hugo Boss, and he thinks that in the enlightened society that we all live in now, women should take the initiative to make the first move as well.

Fact is, that women probably CAN make the first move. But guys,

GIVE THE GAL A REASON TO!

Like it or not, the onus is back on us. There's a reason why women doll up for a night out.

They dress up nice, bathe, do their hair, do their nails, shave their legs, shave their armpits, get shoes, change shoes, go back change dress again, paint nails, realize fingernails don't match toenails, paint toenails, fuck up the manicure, do it again, spray perfume, realize the scent wrong, bathe again........

Finishing touches on 4 hours of work

It is, correct me if I'm wrong, to appear attractive to us! They give US a reason to hit on them.

And if you don't understand how uncomfortable make-up is, gentlemen, I urge you, think back on your army days. To the days of camo on the face, and parade-ready uniforms. On top of that, heels are fucking tough.

the man's version of make-up

Fact is, dudes, you probably won't hit on a gal at a club with unkempt hair, streaked make-up, and rumpled clothes, and probably sweating from over exertion on the dance floor. Likewise, you won't hit on a gal that can't keep up her end of the conversation and look at you like a deer- in-the-headlights. And I'm pretty certain you will NOT find it a turn on even if said gal is staring at your package.

Want her to hit on you?

So what makes you think that if you appear like that to a woman at the mating grounds (also called club), she's gonna find you irresistably attractive and throw herself at you? ESPECIALLY when there are 271 other men vying for her attention, AND of which 269 are actually making moves on her?

So yeah it's fine for women to make the first move. But men, for the love of progeny. Give them a reason to come over and ask for your number!

To Be Continued.

The Death Star Canteen

Threats do not work on the stupid.

Falling Sick

Whatever don't kill me will make me stronger...

Whatever don't kill me will make me stronger...

Whatever don't kill me will make me stronger...

Nabeh.

For All the New Mothers

Here you go, new mums, your complete glossery to everything you need to say.



Still all in all, we all love our moms. Yes? ;)

Test Everything

Ok this worked with Peel Fresh Guava Juice at 1:30am in the morning. Need about 1 more tray of ice and probably half a cup more salt in the mix.

Gonna try it with Ribena next. Anyone up for some sorbet? I'll make it, and you warm my fingers up after.

The Last Lecture

This is from a series of lectures titled "The Last Lecture" in universities across the United States, where professors are asked to deliver one lecture as if it was the last lecture that they'll ever deliver.

In this case, this guy, Professor Randy Pausch is really dying. He's got pancreatic cancer and probably will live a few more weeks.

"If I don't seem as depressed or morose as I should be," said Pausch, "Sorry to disappoint you."

Now THAT is an affirmation.

For those of you who have more time, come here, and watch the whole lecture. It's worth it.

Lost Phone AGAIN!

And this time I wasn't even drinking!!

May the pickpocket's hands shrivel up and never get off again. May his balls explode from pent up frustration and radiation and his ear rot from using the phone that he stole from me.

Can he not at least return my sim card!!?!!

Come to think of it, maybe if there was a "personal picture" of a really cute gal on my hp as a background, think there might be a possibility that the hp be returned?

In the meantime Friends, Romans and countrymen, I urge you, send me your phone numbers.

My Celeb Sighting

I MET KENNY SIA!!!

Whoot!

Me Edmund, Me Strong

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

Well looks like Mr. Murphy has deemed fit to give me a crash course in fitness. Right now, I can probably arm wrestle Superman and fucking win.

Nabeh.

Sian

Not from the stress at work, but from the fact I don't even have time to visit my dearest friend in hospital.

Thinking who I can delegate my work to right now. No one. And sometimes, when you're not there at. that. point, trying to make up just don't seem to cut it.

I'm sorry, sis. I really, really am.

Random Word of Wisdom

"The zit on your face is always biggest in your mirror."

- Edmund

Another Murphy's Best

I went for my friend's wedding a couple of weeks ago and I have come to the realization, that EVERY, SINGLE TIME the guests throw petals at somebody's wedding,

SOMEONE MUST WHACK THE PETALS INTO THE BRIDE'S FACE.

It's a universal constant, like cats not being able to cross the roads and Edmund's handphone number.

Speaking of which, does anyone know what you're listening for when you whack a melon at the supermarket? A good crisp C-Sharp?

Blessings

I've been worried for my friends in Myanmar over the last few days. Every time the news flash, my eyes search the crowd, half-dreading, half-hoping to see a familiar face.

My university internship was done in Yangon, at the then-Hotel Equitorial. I asked for a posting absolutely ANYWHERE in the world but Singapore, and I got it. Nobody knows about Myanmar then. It was a closed country. Nobody I know has been there, or even knows someone who's been to the place.

The 6 weeks I spent there humbled me. It made me grateful for the things I have here, in Singapore. At the same time, I learnt so much about sharing and about graciousness and about happiness.

The folks over there don't have a lot. Even now, if you have a $200 salary, you can raise a family, and stay in an apartment in town. They will cook little dishes, pack them into metal tiffins for lunch, AND THEY'LL ALWAYS COOK MORE. Not just one or two portions, but 4 or 5 portions, just so they can share it with friends.

I remember one lunch I had with the marketing department. 16 dishes going around, and everyone was so eager for me to try their cooking. The sheer generosity of that one gesture, as well as the overeating, floored me.

My colleauges had the perception that Singaporeans are really stuck up, and their noses were always up in the air, with a frown on the face. They asked why that's the case, since we have so much, and live in a country, where, compared to THEIR government, ours are frigging left wing liberals of the first degree.

I could not answer them. But I did come back to Singapore with the intention to grin at every person I meet stoically till they started smiling back.

The people in Myanmar are an innocent people. A lot of times they wear their hearts on their sleeves and are easy going to a fault. Maybe that's why the military junta can be in power for so long. Maybe that's why they get trampled on and they just bore with it.

Now, well... right now, I just pray that my friends over there are alright, and that they survive through whatever comes in their uncertain future.

6 Months I Tried...

But I still can't get it right.

Tonight though... Tonight.

How I'm Going To Pass My Next Driving Test

See, now, THIS is how you should be parallel parking.

Lessons from Sitcoms

From the Sitcom "How I Met Your Mother", when Patrick tries to excuse himself from setting Ted up with an "escort" that turns out to be really a Paralegal

"Look, you knew that Mary was a sure thing. If you were that confident with all the other women in your life, you'd get laid a lot more often!"

Or something like that.

True, how true.

Question of the Day

From the segment of "English as It Is Broken",

Reality is a opposite of Illusion.

And if dis-illusion is the getting rid of illusion, which has negative connotations, why is it then usually used in a negative context?

Does this point to the necessity of false notions in order for life as socially accepted humans?

Or the eagerness of people to take the moral high ground that they are without pretense, which in ITSELF is most probably illusion?

"The World according to Edmund" HAH!

On a side note, sod standard English. Meeting so many people from so many places in the world, I have come to the conclusion that a "Standard" is largely only understood by a small portion of the world's population.

Communication, not grammer correct-ness should be be order of the day.

Josh Blue

Embrace who you are and what you can be.



And the world embraces you.

PS. He won Last Comic Standing in 2006. Booya.

Do You Believe in Love?

No extravagant gestures.
No eternal promises.
No elaborate speech.

In sickness and in health, till death do us part.



*Sniff*

Go Watch 881

It's completely OTT, overly dramatic, and people are liable to break out into song every 5 minutes instead of talking properly.

In other words, a pretty good musical-movie.

Oh, the fact that there are 4 really good looking women, and a man with a big white cock in it shows how we are catering to ALL levels of enjoyment.

Stupidity

Define stupidity.

Is ignorance stupidity? No. That's just the lack of knowledge.

What about the refusal to see or understand facts? Shaky. That's just being obstinate. For that matter, what ARE facts?

Then if someone has got a brain, but is refusing to use it. Is that stupid? Lazy, complacent. Or maybe just plain arrogant.

Not making sense. Well, most of the really brilliant people don't make sense to us anyway. Then are they considered stupid, at least, to us?

Not being logical. Sod it, most of us aren't anyway. If you can explain exactly WHY you like a colour more than another, or a particular kind of look, or a handphone model, or a man, woman or animal, tell me. If you want to function in this world, you're probably 95% illogical.

If you watched MTV, or Youtube, or any one of the dozen means by which completely excessive, pointless acts of physical, mental and property destruction are perpetuated and very possibly imitated and propogated, you start to think that these people are geniuses.

People who have reached the point of non-sense, and then gone out the other side. Nobody gets that inane without inborn talent followed by years of practice, enormous amounts of planning, and very possibly too many hours of completely destructive use of time.

So what the HELL is stupidity? Are most of us then stupid? Do we even qualify?

And isn't it completely stupid for you to be reading a post on stupidity? Or me for writing it?

Stupid people of the world, UNITE!

Missed Calls

I HATE ANONYMOUS CALLS.

One missed call when I'm sleeping without caller-ID. Fine. 3 missed calls. That's a little much.

Then I go to the toilet. Past the point of no return, one more time.

In the middle of an overseas call, AGAIN. I switch over, and the person puts the fucking phone down.

I take a shower, and the phone rings. Guess who, yup. Phantom caller. Nearly kill myself getting out of the shower, and miss the call again. 3 FUCKING seconds the person can't hold on.

And to add insult to injury, now the phone stares back at me, not. a. peep.

Nabeh.

Perils in Nude Modelling

This is FANTASTIC.

Catch the twist at the end.

Just realized that the embedded player doesn't work. So click here.

This is HILARIOUS

"President Bush recently had some polyps removed from his colon. Sometimes polyps can turn cancerous, but I doubt his are. After all, President Bush hasn’t had much luck finding weapons of ass destruction."

- The Dilbert Blog

HA HA HA!

Celebrity Look Alike

I've gotten so many comments that I look like the bad guy from the 7pm TCS 8 show that I think I am condemned by the majority of the auntie population in Singapore.

Siggh...

On the plus side, I will NEVER, EVER wear pink on a daily basis. My last birthday doesn't count.

FINALLY ONE.

Finally. Someone took a good picture of me. YES!!!! Thanks HB! See what I mean by leaving the job to the experts?

I'm shiny... heh heh heh...

Only time I look human is when I have no hair.

The Bits Romance Authors Miss

"If you want your Prince Charming to ride in on a horse, expect him to smell like one too."

- ME. In a conversation with a friend about men and women.

Lost My Phone. Again.

Nabeh. I swear. I will find a detonator, fix it in my next hand phone, and fucking blow the hand off the bastard who steals it. Time for some Old Testament justice for fuckers who steal handphones.

Oh, if ya'll reading this, MSN, email, call, and gimme your phone number again. Aight?

Age VS Maturity

"Age has NOTHING on maturity. It just means that the person's got more practice being a kid."

- ME. In a conversation with a friend at 3:30am.

Transformers

Now THAT'S a proper Transformer's episode with some backbone.

Oh and NC-16 language.

One Day

I hope that...

I am Asian by descent, Singaporean by birth, International in outlook.

I am proud of my roots, so much so I can meet people and appreciate their difference.

I am confident enough to acknowledge my inadequacies, and learn from everyone that I meet.

I am loud enough to get an echo from another person's soul.

I listen to the space between words, and hear what someone is trying to say, not the words he is speaking.

I am attractive, not handsome.

I am wealthy, AND rich.

I have knowledge, and wisdom enough to use it.

Oh and I reckon I'll get married by 75. If I believe I am mature enough for marriage.

Look Mom, No Hair

Conclusions after I have done the Hair for Hope Charity Drive for the Children's Cancer Foundation?

I have absolutely NO ability at cam whoring.

HB, Jan, and all you other photo types. HELP!

On a side note, why in the world did they wash my hair before taking it all off? And now that it's off. Soap, like the rest of the body, or shampoo, even without hair?

Another One Bites the Dust

One phone call was all it took.

Fuck. Didn't know what to say.

He wasn't close. I know him, knew him as my junior in dance. Seen him around at MoS once.

Never really talked, never really communicated. Still, it was someone I know. Knew.

Don't know why he didn't confide in the friends he had. Maybe he wants to put up a front, the jester. I know that mask all too well.

A lil late now.

I don't miss him, but when they played RnB on Saturday night at China One, it's too close for comfort, and though I liked the song, I can't dance. Not then.

I reckon, as long as we remember, they're never really gone.

To the people we know and lost. Cheers. May we never forget life.

It's NOT the tools

It is the person wielding them.

The MONA LISA, using Paint. Yes, the dingy program that comes with your new computer, with your operating system.

Mac users, no, it's not Photoshop.

I Give Up

This sums up the eternal mystery that is woman. Thank you sis.

"Women don't know what they want. But they know when what they want is missing."

Any way you look at it, gentlemen, we're screwed over 15 different ways to the moon.

Forget about understanding your woman/men. Just enjoy them.

The Pursuit of Happyness?

"If there was a girl you like, would you pursue?"
"Within limits yes"
"Don't be a Singaporean, of COURSE it's within limits. But the question is would you pursue?"
"Yeah well, what the point of going so far out of the way during pursuit? Once you get the girl, how long can you sustain being at that level?"
"Ah, then it's about communication, it's about compromise, it's about the relationship."

And then I remember Hitch, "YOU are a very fluid concept right now."

Maybe, just maybe it is not the would or would not. But rather it is the "pursue" that needs a new definition. Oh, and the communication after of course.

PS. If you have not watched Hitch, watch it. If you have, watch it again. And take notes this time.

I Need a Hair Cut.

How do you reckon this will look?

The Secret of Dancing

Here are the truly important things when it comes to dancing.

"The first thing I'm going to teach you," said Siggy,"is the most important thing. I'm going to teach you how to ask someone to dance."

"Listen," she said. "Let's get something straight from the very beginning. When you ask someone to dance, you are NOT asking them to make love to you... You aren't asking them to marry you... Or go steady, or anything of the sort... It's communication, Nathaniel. It's a way to know someone."

"I'll tell you another secret," she said. "You can look right into someone's face without being embaressed... It takes some time, but you can look at someone without invading their space, without intruding; and without being intruded upon..."

~ Maggie Thomas, Broken Time

Steps? The steps are just the means to an end, and the right steps are really a rather subjective phenomenon. And frankly, steps aren't all that important after you get those other bits right.

What other lessons can we draw to other aspects of life? I'll just leave that to you. To get what I learnt out, you gotta pay. Prata, teh tarik, or a glass of whiskey.

Where no (Asian) Man has Gone before

To me, there are only 2, yes, 2 reasons why you should be watching Pirates of the Carribean, At World's End. None of which relate to Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly OR Johnny Depp.

1. FINALLY, Singapore's acknowledged in Hollywood. "Welcome to Singapore," Chow Yunn Fatt says. What remains of the patriot in me swells with pride when I heard that booming in the cinema.

I'll go talk to my mate in STB to make him the new mascot of the tourism trade here.

2. The other, is truly groundbreaking. Decades of film tradition in Hollywood. Overturned in 3 sec. An ASIAN man FINALLY kisses a girl. On screen. Properly.

Think back on ONE movie where that has happened. And the answer is, NONE.

The fact that he was trying to rape her, is completely beside the point.

Making a Statement

Damn good song.

"Hor, she damn ballsy right?"
"Ballsy = Singaporean singing it"

How's about a concert at Hong Lim park. Anyone?

Death by Talking

Of all the ways I thought I would die, I never thought I'd get talked to death.

I mean, it's ME. It's like trying to drown a fish in water.

And still, against all odds, I was this close to dying in a deluge of meaningless words, or reaching through the phone and causing massive bodily injury.

Shows. When you think you have reached your limit, you reach beyond and surprise yourself.

*pat pat pat* Well done, Edmund.

Thank you.

Rooting for not-so-Local Enterprise

Ok, for those of you who have been putting up adsense. Hear this.



Nuffnang is the local version of it, and what I really like is that it's a whole community concept, instead of just a purely business enterprise.



And hey, I'm all up for supporting local enterprise, even if it did start in Malaysia. So go check it out and show some lurve aight?

Finally... an end to all those frigging irrelevant ads about repentance, and Alcoholics Anonymous.

Proving a Point

Alright. This whole fitness craze has gone out the window.

When my friend tells me that she's taking pills just so she can be trim again by July, I decided that something's gotta be done.

Now I have always been an advocate of NOT going to the gym, and that the gym serves no purpose. So now I'm just gonna have to put my money where my mouth is.

For those of ya who have been hanging out with me, know that months of slacking off has ensured that some of my wardrobe's way too tight, and the sword is now a broadsword. So I am going to put this down.

1st July. 6 packs.

Sans Gym
Sans Crazy Ass Diet
Sans Fucked-up, Ridiculous body builder regimes.
Sans Expensive, Kill-me-to-look-good pills.

Oh, under 30 minutes of exercise in total, a day.

Place your bets right now. And make the counter-offer very attractive.

An Apple a Day

That's passe.

Now this is why keeping fit so much fun.

I wonder what would happen if the folks at the National Sports council took this into consideration when they design an upgrade to the Great Singapore Workout.

THE video that I have been searching for.

Fuck yeah, now THIS is the video that inspired me to like the song.

Strange and Wonderful World

Interesting happenings recently -

Waterspouts in Singapore. Tornadoes are for when they're on land. Wonder if anyone ended up in Oz...

A hummingbird decided to use the pot of flowers at the window as home base. SWEET. Wonder if I can teach it to eat out of my hand...

Wonder what will happen next week when I head over to Myanmar again... Somehow interesting things always happen behind my back. Don't any of you decide to get married, or elope, or grow horns while I'm gone. Aight?!

Condoms in a Can

Nowadays everything comes in a can. Wonder if Trojans come in XL sized cans.

Now my only question is... how the FUCK are you suppose to keep one in your pocket!

Today is a GOOD day.

Today, is a good day.

Today, Blogger decides to go back to normal. I therefore forgive the powers that be, and thank them for letting out of blogging purgatory.

Today is the first day after my reservist. I therefore thank THOSE powers that be, for letting me out of the jungle hell I was in, where I become reaquinted with why I hate cold and wet and why I strongly believe that all mosquitoes should be on the highly endangered animals list. (Can anyone find out if mosquitoes are good for virility?)

Today, I finally slept more than 2 hours. My bed misses me, and communion is sweet, wonderful and too short. I thank the powers that be, for the unconditional acceptance of my bloster, my pillow, and my blanket. Wilderness camping is over rated.

Today, I can tell the world, I have seen my first wild boar, and concluded that a Steve Irwin impression is enough to freak any animal out.

Today, I see a herd of chicken. I shit you not. It is a herd. There's no other word for a group of chicken walking along and grazing along the grass patch in all the slow regal-ness of the wilderbeasts of the serengeti. I give you... A herd of chicken.

Running on Fumes

Slept less than 3 hours every day since last Sunday.

Crunch time at work.

Learning the ropes at moderating for websites.

Packing for field camp.

Stupid overly-enthusiastic commanders who make excuses better than they actually command.

I am this close to snapping.

Lousy Timing

So I'm back in camp again. And it cannot come at a worse time. When I actually have legitimate work to do, and I actually LIKE doing it, it has to be that I have to go back and waste time pretending to be soldiers.

Biceps hurt, and I have to cross the WHOLE of Singapore to reach my camp.

And I still gotta do IPPT tomorrow.

Brilliant. Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant.

Gahhh... Blogspot malfunctioned again. Interface looks like shite, but at least I can still post a couple of Myanmar picture.

Taken from Sakura Towers.

Koh Win Kyar should be happy. He's famous now, he's on my blog.

The ladies are happy cos I was paying dinner. Heh.

And this is the Queen of the Universe, Norah-Anne. It's true.

I like my new camera phone even though this conclusively proves I look bad in pictures.

Because I was Told I can

Lifted this from my friend Jelin's blog.

"About 6 months ago, I joined a gym. Every morning, there is one personal trainer there that works out at the same time that my little group does our workout. He does his "routine" with such a quiet determination that he makes it all look very easy; although I know all too well how hard he is working. When I am tempted to whine and quit, I watch him push himself to his own limits, and I find myself motivated to work as hard and without complaint.

"A couple of weeks ago, I was watching him do chin ups. He made them look effortless. I broke away from my group and asked him if I could try a chin up. I had never tried before, but he just made it look so easy. He eagerly stepped aside and encouraged me to step up to the bar. I pulled myself up without thinking...once...then twice. That was all I had in me, I had no strength left. I told him that was all I had, so he stepped up behind me and pushed me up for a third and fourth "pull." It felt so good. I felt strong and I smiled from ear to ear.

"The next day when I was done my workout, I asked him to spot me again. Again, I did two. Again on day three and so on. I thought it was pathetic that I could only do two, but when I came to the gym at the end of the week, he was standing there just shaking his head. When I asked him what was up, he said he was impressed with my chin ups. He told me that when they are training firefighters, the men are required to do 5 chin ups, and women are required to do 1 or 2. He explained that most people can't do them at all, and that he was impressed that I could. He further told me that if I practiced every day, I would be doing 5 or 6 in no time. At this point I should probably add that I am 50 years old...and female.

"The moral of this story...because I didn't know any better, because he told me I could, I saw no reason to doubt. I just jumped in and gave it a try - and I did it! I didn't see it as a great accomplishment, because I didn't realize that it was difficult and it became my goal to get stronger. No one told me I couldn't do it, in fact, I was encouraged to try. Had he told me initially how difficult it was, I more than likely would not have tried at all. Or I might have tried, but given it only half an effort, because failure would have been the expectation. I applaud him for letting me believe that for me, it was not only a possibility, but that success was a realistic expectation.

"How many times have we decided not to try at all because we were told that we couldn't, that we shouldn't, that we had expectations that were too ambitious? How many times have we told our children, our friends and our co-workers that they couldn't do something; that their ideas were impossible or beyond reach? How many times have we told ourselves that we would fail before we even started?

"I started to ponder examples that I had witnessed and this came to mind...I recalled a conversation a friend of mine had with his daughter just prior to her heading off to university. He spoke to her (with good intentions) of how hard she would have to work in order to succeed. University wasn't like High School - this was the real world and now she would have to grow up. This child quit after two years. Another friend spoke to her daughter of the adventure she was embarking on and how proud she was. I remember how we laughed because the mother already had her outfit picked out for convocation day! This child just graduated with her degree in physiology. Looking back, neither daughter was more intelligent than the other. Was it the silent expectations (or lack thereof) that predicted the outcome?

"I have a new approach now. I have experienced first hand how good it feels to rush in so innocently. To believe that we CAN do it and go on to accomplish exactly what we set out to do, because no one told us we couldn't. I've learned how important it is to support others (and ourselves) in our endeavors and to let them know that we believe they can do it rather than telling them we think that they can't.

"I personally want to be like my trainer; standing there behind the people that I love, encouraging them, believing in them and being ready to catch them when they get tired. I will be the one that is there on the second and third day making sure they try again, because I know they CAN.

"What a powerful lesson this has been for me. I'll be doing "5" in no time at all. Because I was told I CAN.

- Jan Graham ^-^

Mingalabar

Wassup folks, just realized that Myanmar hasn't blocked Blogger. Yet.

Anyways, it's roasting here. and I'm probably gonna be back on Tuesday afternoon. Down one for me over the weekend, and your favourite alcoholic will be back real soon. Provided I don't get put in front of the firing squad for showing the people here how to access porn.

Later, y'all.

More Notes to Life

Waxing is addictive. Regrowth might be a bitch, but there's something to be said about baby smooth.

Unless of course you're hairy by nature. Then it's a clearing in the middle of a forest. Come to think of it, in a case like that, where does the wax start or end? Hmmm... things to ponder over a lunch of Char Kway Teow or a breakfast of Bee Hoon.

"God is with you. But just in case, have your pistol ready."
- Rgue Warrior: Holy Terror. Richard Marcinko

The Date Rape Song

And you wonder why they say that folks in the past have more meaning to their songs.

Cut to Real Life

Been feeling a tad emo for the week past.

Damn you, A.I! It's a bloody depressing movie.

Damn you Haley Joel Osmond! Don't look so cute, now that you're grown up eh? HAH!

Right, the rant is over. The moment of emo-ness has past.

An Environmental Note

Every little bit counts.

And for every plastic bag you do not use, it's one less that'll go into the landfill.

Just like straws.

Love? A Disease??

I don't know who does this kind of research, but for those of you who are considering the meaning of love.

Take a look at this.

Hums Huang Shu Jun's The Epedemic of Love

The Burden of Money

How many of y'all have said, "If only I had a million bucks, I would be so happy." at least ONCE in your lives?

How many of you have said, I wish I can do what I want to do, when I want to.

Remember the old axiom, "Be careful what you wish for, cos you just might get it". And when you DO get it, you might end up realizing you don't want it.

So what ARE you going to do, when it's all said and done? Travel? Charity? And then what?

Loads of us want to get out of the rat race. Make enough money, retire young. Don't bother with the grind of every day life any more.

But retiring is a scary thought, because you are left with a void. After you retire, you are going to be faced with the BIG QUESTION.

What are you suppose to do with your life? What is your purpose, your calling?

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSE TO DO?

When faced with a question like that, let's see what happens.

Go to any old folks' home, and you'll see folks who have money, and the time, but don't know what to do with either. They are waiting to die.

Look at the spoilt rich kids who don't have to work for money. They get into sex, drugs and depression, even though they have nothing to be depressed about.

What about the people who strike lottery? Most of them self-destruct.

That is the burden that money gives to a person.

Money gives freedom. and freedom, comes at a price. The price is self-awareness, and purpose. Don't pay the price, and YOU will chain yourself down without anyone else going at it.

What would you do if someone gave you a million dollars, my friend? Would you take it, and face up to the really big questions?

Of the Past

Thanks Kamil for this quote, and for letting me get a new appreciation of this country that I live in.

Our past has a tendency to haunt us. Our choices can trap us or enable us to move on in life. Time plays tricks with our memories, sometimes making them better than they actually were. Ultimately, the only path is forward. Change is the only constant.

- Jeffrey Tan. Ballet Under the Stars

Sometimes it takes another from outside to tell you how blessed you are, and how much there is to give thanks for.

Another Song I Love

This is one from Beyond. 海阔天空.

Thanks baby, for getting me the lyrics and the pronunciation in Cantonese. No I haven't memorized EVERYTHING yet.

Where are the Damn Pink Elephants?

Don't think of pink elephants. In fact, do NOT imagine them dancing on a high rope, holding onto an umbrella, doing death-defying pirouettes on their tippy-tip toes.

Nearly impossible now, isn't it?

A moment ago, the thought didn't even occur to you, but now, it's sitting on your mind, as unshakable as about 2 tons of elephant.

This interesting little short circuit in the human mind is apparent in many aspects of life, and first introduced to me, when I was learning how to bike in the army.

The more I focused on NOT crashing and NOT hitting a particular orange traffic cone, the more I did it. I would stare at the pylon I'm trying not to hit, and tell myself move, move, move, and then the next thing I knew, I was flying through the air. Again. In fact, I did it so many times, I was nicknamed Jackie Chan.

It was those times, I truly appreciated six years of being a sandbag in Judo class.

Draw a parallel to other aspects of life. The more we try not to do something it seems, the more we end up getting tempted. You start your day stubbing your toe, knocking your head, and your whole day goes from bad to worse because you're trying to avoid things happening to you. Don't miss the bus... Missed it. Don't get scolded, got it. Don't rain... you guessed it.

The only time I finally managed to do SOMETHING right, was when I got distracted from trying not to do the wrong thing. I wrenched my attention from NOT doing something wrong, to doing something right. Over and over again.

Worked a lot better, and the army mechanics breathed a sigh of relief on not having to keep replacing banged-up rear-view mirrors, and busted fuel lines.

Now, I have realized that there is a seriously thin line between the world of reality and thought. If you try NOT to think of pink elephants often enough, you'll probably realize that a lot of 4-legged Proboscidea (ie. big-assed animels with huge teeth) have taken a rather delicate rose hue.

Instead, focus on other things. Green fairies, singing mice on the talented wildlife front. And on the every day life aspect, think about the things that you want happen, and be as clear defining those things as you would defining the things you don't want.

This little shift might just cause rather interesting things to happen.

Unlimited Bubble Wrap

Hands up all those who love popping bubble wrap.

Here is unlimited supply of the stuff. Courtesy of modern Technology.

Be grateful. Be very grateful.

A Footnote

"Because nothing makes love and life matter more than the knowledge that some day it must end"

- Drinking Midnight Wine, Simon R. Green

And they say that deadlines don't make people work better. Heh.

So Quoth I, On Men and Women...

Was helping a friend out, finding quotes for her presentation when I came across this.

"A man who will not lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings” - Olin Miller

“A man is given the choice between loving women and understanding them” - Ninon de Lenclos

So true... So true. But this one from Henry Kissinger takes the cake.

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.”

Maybe the only reason why men and women fight is so that they can make out *ahem* up.

Curing Pain With Light

Never liked any kind of painkillers, and so I have always been looking at alternative kinds of pain-relieving agents, or other methods of pain relief.

This might help those of you who are suffering from chronic pain, or don't want to be reliant on pain medicine. AND give you more reason to go down to the beach. Heh!

Relieving Pain with Sunlight.

The 100 Million-Year Old Virgin

There's probably a reason why they're so bad-tempered and ugly.

But what's the point of living so long? What they should REALLY evolve, is a set of genitals and get on the bandwagon.

To Whoever It Concerns

I remember hearing this once.

"I reject your reality and replace it with my own!"

Thank you, whoever you are, for gifting me with this battle-cry.

And now, I Present To you...

Love it when songs make the crossover from one isntrument to the next. Last time, it was Paganini's 5th.

Today, I have the pleasure of bringing you... Vivaldi's Summer.



And if you haven't noticed, the GUY, is using a pick. Not for everything, but still...

Be Nice. Why?

Now I got this from something I was reading, "The Power of Ethical Obligation", by Robert Ringer.

"In one study, researcher Dennis Regan had two individuals try to sell raffle tickets to unsuspecting workers. One individual made a conscientious effort to befriend the workers before attempting to sell any tickets.

The other individual made a point of being rude and obnoxious around the workers. While on a break, the individual who had previously been rude to his prospects bought them drinks before trying to get them to buy tickets.

The results of the study showed that the rude individual actually sold twice as many raffle tickets, even though the other had been so much nicer and more likable. "

Now WHY is this the case? Aren't we always taught to be nice to people? So WHY does the asshole perform better?

Remember the commercial where the hubby is really nice to his wife? The one where he said he puts his TV on record and lets her watch Anthony Bourdain, dances with her, and as a last straw, offer to do the dishes.

What happens?

Wife runs off to the mother and goes "Mommy, he's cheating on me!" One wonders why that's the case.

I mean, sure, us modern boys have always been taught to be nice to girls. The fairer sex, protect the women, we're told. But seriously, do women REALLY want good boys? Sure, many of my female friends say. But we all know that women rarely mean what they say, and they almost never say what they mean.

I seriously doubt they are about to start now.

Just You Try and Stop Me

Taking the words of the President's Address in the movie "Independence Day",

We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on!
We're going to survive!

Faith and hope is easy when there is nothing standing in your way, and life's just plain sailing. Actually in those times, you don't really need faith and hope, do you? About as much use as a solar-powered torch.

Nope, it's only it times of trial, in times where everyone around you gives you shit, and tell you it cannot be done, that you're just not good enough, or not smart enough, or why bother. When the people you love try to "protect" you from being hurt, or disappointed, or feel uncomfortable. Times like this, keep the hope burning, keep the faith alive, and hold your dream close to your heart.

Don't expect the people around you to understand, because after all, this is your life, your hope, your dream, your faith. Maybe you'd end up not reaching your dream. Maybe. Maybe you will.

I read somewhere that in a fight, you're going to get hurt.

That is a given.

So instead of cringing, and being afraid of when you're going to get hurt, accept it. When you are relieved of that fear of getting hurt, can you actually advance. Tuck your chin in, take the shot, and then use the pain to drive you onward and forward, and then to win. Chances are, you are gonna get hurt a lot less than when you are cringing in the first place.

On the flip side, it could be that you're just too stupid to know when to give up. Hey, that's not bad too. Ever wondered why the people who actually change the world aren't the really smart ones?

PS. I realized the fun in table-banging in negotiations. I might be back in Singapore now, but if those FOOLS are going to screw up my deals with their dirty lil money grubbing paws and short-sighted greed, I will personally go up north, with all my tact and gentle bed-side manner, ream them ALL a new arsehole. Or 2.

Observations

Back in Singapore and swamped with work. Strangely, I feel good, to be busy again. Damn right, 3 hour sleeps and hardly any free time. Shiok.

It is official, I am masochistic.

A frivolous post.

Ever experienced a sunrise on a plane before? It's kinda strange. Look out the window on one side, and it's a field of pure liquid gold. The other, 3 shades of cool blue. I wonder what the pilot sees, and if there ever is a boundary between the two. It's kinda strange, to be in a plane, balanced between night, and day.

Why is it that we get life vests in a plane? Wouldn't it make more sense to get parachutes instead? When was the last time you actually saw a plane crash into the sea and survive? I read somewhere that hitting water at more than 100 feet, is the same as hitting concrete. Maybe we'll bounce if we all sit on the life raft and jump out with it.

One last thing. Why must the window shades be up? I mean they're just fine down aren't they? Do we really need to stare out at the ground coming at us at 100 meters per minute? Show us our possibly impending doom so that we'll be extra nice to the pilots for doing their jobs?

If the plane doesn't land properly, you'd know it. Not that there's anything you can do about it. OK, maybe an extra minute of prayer time.

If the plane does land properly, then why the FUCK do you have to disturb my sleep and not let me get back to sleep, for the sun glaring into my eyes?

Thank God I didn't pass my SQ interviews.

Interlude

I cannot frigging believe this.

Right now I am in Bangkok, doing another pseudo Amazing Race back to Singapore.

What. The. Fuck.

Flights to fucking everywhere in the world to every part of fucking Asia and the rest of the world, and not one, to Singapore. Not ONE! The last one left at 8 from Tiger Airways, and now I have a lovely 8 hours to perfect my impression of a homeless person.

It is official. The Thais hate us.

That being said, the new airport terminal looks almost exactly like terminal 2. Loads of glass and steel and no concrete. Guess we're not the only ones short of construction material. :P

Pictures when I finally touch down and take a shower.

Goodbye Yangon. Hello Amazing Race Asia 2!

PS. There are some truly good looking women here. Guess Thai curry isn't the only thing that's hot in this country. Let's go see if yours truly can go spread some love around and improve international relations. ;)

Last Words

A quick one, before I head off to Myanmar again. It is unfinished, and when I come back I will polish this further.

I didn't really want to go to church today. Maybe it's cos I am tired from going on Friday and Saturday, or maybe I just wanted some time alone with my thoughts before I headed off. Whatever the case may be, I went anyway.

At the end of the sermon, I was actually glad I went. Nope, no sudden flash of faith, or rapture, or spiritual enlightenment. More an affirmation, a lesson rammed home.

That sometimes, we may have an overwhelming desire for something, or we have a dream we keep close to our hearts. It might be strange, far-out and honestly given the current circumstance, well-nigh impossible.

So?

Take that first step, be brave and don't procrastinate. Others may give you a thousand and one really good reasons why it cannot be done. People around you who care for you, don't want you to be disappointed, or to face the pain of failure. They want you comfortable, protected from all the stress, strain, pain and disappointments that might happen to you.

They are not wrong. But at the same time that you are insulated from life, you end up not living.
It is in the same strain, pain and tribulation, and in the RISK of failure that we do our best work. It's in uncertainty and trials that we truly shine.

Perhaps, the power and value of dreams and hope lie not in the eventual fulfilment, but rather in the way it influences our journey to that goal.

What Would People Say?

This I got from an article by Robert Ringer. It is the self-eulogy of a man called Harry Browne, an author and a TV talkshow host.

Setting Your Sights

As I look back over my life, I can see so many ways in which I could have done things better than I did, and I certainly wish I'd learned a lot of things sooner than I did.

And yet I have enjoyed a wonderful life. I'm married to the ideal woman. I have had the good fortune to be associated in business with highly competent, honest, compatible people. I've had a book that was #1 on the best-seller list, and others that sold well above average. I've had first-class friends in many different areas of my life. I've been able to live in three countries and enjoy the best the world has to offer. I was honored to be the Presidential candidate of the Libertarian Party.

To have made so many mistakes, and yet to have had so much. It proves that you don't have to be perfect to succeed.

When I die (if ever), I'd like the epitaph on my tombstone to read:

"I didn't do everything I wanted to do,I didn't become everything I wanted to be,But because I aimed for the stars,I reached the top of the world."

I don't advise being careless or sloppy. I do advise that you hold fast to your beliefs and act in the best way you know how--but then forgive yourself whenever you fail to measure up to your standards.

You will never be perfect. But you can be free and happy.

I hope you make it.

~Harry Browne

So what's your life gonna be like, and how will it be reflected in your funeral?

New Spin on an Old Story

Talk about consensual sex. I wonder what kinda world it'll be if everything was this clear. Be careful what you wish for when you ask for more clarity eh?



And that, endeth today's class on safe sex.

Hello Me

In a little under 3 hours, I'll be headed to the airport and bugging out for a week to a place where there is no internet, and my handphone will not work.

Cut off from the outside world, and all forms of communication, it's just me, myself and I. This should get pretty interesting, and I am looking forward to reaquint myself with the man in the mirror, and behind the eyelids.

Here's my thought of the day. When you're off from the things like your work, your interests, your significant other, the people around you, your culture and your worldly possessions, do you still know yourself?

At night, when the eyes close, and you're alone with yourself without distraction and form, who do you see? And more importantly, how do you feel about that person?

This promises to be a very interesting week.

WTF!

Why is the post that I put in THIS MORNING not on my blog yet?!!!?! 5 FUCKING HOURS!

I want my old blogger back! WAHHHHH!!!

And now, back to your regularly scheduled, moderately intellectual program.

The 4 Kinds of People

From a book by Timothy Zahn,

There are 4 types of people in the world.

He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not.
He is a fool. Shun him

He who knows not, and knows that he knows not.
He is simple. Teach him.

He who knows, and knows not that he knows.
He is asleep. Wake him.

He who knows, and knows that he knows.
He is wise. Follow him.

So which are you?

The God Complex

First things first. Thanks Bev, for introducing me to this concept. Ever since that fateful day in my office, over MSN, I have been using the term incessantly.

First up, What IS the God Complex?

The sum of all human knowledge, Wikipedia, puts it thus,

"A god complex is a colloquial term used to portray a perceived character flaw as if it were a 'psychological complex'. The person who is said to have a 'god complex' can act so arrogantly that he might as well believe he is a god or appointed to act by a god. It is also often called the Messianic complex."

Being practical, I just diagnose the the symptoms: -

a. An overwhelming desire to shoulder all one perceives to be wrong with the world, and thus thinking that it is that person's own responsibility.

b. Thinking that one has the ability to take all that responsibility upon himself (it's the non gender-specific him I'm using. You're not off the hook, ladies.)

c. Feeling damn guilty when the perceived responsibility is not fulfilled.

Sounds familiar?

In the course of 4 years of work, I have come to the conclusion that you can only do something for the someone, IF the other person wants it.

In my books, three time's the charm. I offer once, twice, thrice, if there's no response? I let it be.

Oh, that's not to say I cut myself off. The help's available, but now it's passive. You need, you come to me. If not, well you're on your own.

Do I feel guilty? No. I might feel sorry for you if it was something that can be salvaged with the information I had, but I sure as hell ain't gonna stick my nose where it's not wanted, or cram my help down somebody's throat.

On the flip side, I still have remnants of ego in me. It's still hard for me to open my mouth and ask for help, but I have learnt through MUCH pain, that pride is a fucking expensive commodity to have, and ultimately worthless.

Buying dinners and teh tariks are much, MUCH cheaper. And strangely, in getting my ass kicked and learning, self-awareness and clarity really are kinda liberating.

Photo Quirks

Every year, my family gets together and takes a picture that goes onto the wall of my grandmother's place.

Every single year, I ask the same 2 questions.

Really, guys. These are digital cameras. Why do we need 6 cameras for just ONE shot? I mean, really. Last time, when the cameras used film and Kodak owned half the world,I can understand. If everyone wants a copy, EMAIL dammit!

And the other question is, does it REALLY matter which camera you're looking at first? I seriously seriously doubt when you look at the photo, eyeball deflections of 0.23125 degrees will be noticed. You know what, just for the heck of it, I'll look at the camera on the left, while the one on the right goes off. That'll REALLY screw with the picture. HAH!

That aside, it's pretty good to see the rest of the family. That, and oh the food, the food!

What's Love Gotta Do With It

Welcome to the season of hearts, flowers and everything pink and fluffy.

Bah humbug.

Truth be told, Valentine's has never been easy for me.

When I have somebody, it's the stress of getting a Valentine's day present, and then stressing on dinner reservations, and then wondering if I'm actually gonna be able to survive the rest of the month after splurging.

When I don't, it's one of the rare times in a year that I actually feel lonely.

Anyways, here are some things that I wonder about this whole Valentine's Day thing:

1. Why are GUYS the ones that have to do everything?
Here, ladies. You try planning everything and have the entire retail industry gang up on ya while you're trying to make your man smile, and let's see how YOU like it.

2. However much the gal says "there's no need for flowers", she's not gonna say no to them.
Know how boys have pissing competitions? This might be the one time a year, where the ladies go "mine's bigger than yours. HA!"

3. Now exactly HOW many good ideas do you have?
Think about it. How often do you have to come up with something unique? Birthdays, Christmas, yearly anniversaries, monthly anniversaries, Valentine's, A random pampering out of the blue... Presents, flowers, food places, activities.

Unless he or she's a professional party planner, how long before any normal man, woman or child runs out of good ideas? (David Tuttera is gay btw, and he's got an entire team to back him up. Ask the executive director of HIS show if he ever misses his boyfriend's birthday.

4. Escalating expectations
Let's face it. Men are not only easily satisfied, the majority of us take the BBQ mentality to a relationship. In other words, it's a big ass burn at the start, settling into a slow, consistent grill.

Women, on the other hand, take the forest-fire mentality. Start with a spark, and then it gradually develops over time, bigger and bigger till the entire forest's consumed. Give in to her every whim and pleasure, and chances are, it won't be long before you have to pull a Bruce Almighty, and actually bring the moon down from the sky.

5. Too much of a good thing.
The Chinese have a saying, "Shark's fin every day, and you'll get bored." Let's face it. Humans are a forgetful, ungrateful lot. Never changed from the time of the pharoahs and Isrealites, not gonna change now. Men AND women often don't learn the value of something until it's gone.

Remember and celebrate all the holidays and sooner or later, you're gonna get bored of it. In my words to a friend, it's called "spoiling your own market". Go figure.

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And yet, in spite of all this, we men, the dumber of the species, would do virtually anything, just to see the one we love, gasp in surprise and smile, if only for an instant. Yeah, we're clueless, silly and often unimaginative.

Our one redeeming quality? That we love you, and I reckon that makes up for a lot of it, eh? So forget the trappings, forget the things that we do or don't, the times we piss each other off, the stupid, dorky presents or the lack thereof, and just focus on that, eh?

Happy Valentine's everyone.