Art

What is the difference between Science and Art?

Science we know, a system that is tested and proven, that gives the same results consistently over time. Or at least, you know exactly how many times you're gonna screw up and how.

Art, well, art is whatever it takes to get whatever needs to be done, DONE, and that's all there is to it.

To Love or To be Loved

It's a preference really, which is preferable of the two. Each is nice its own way, each is painful in its own way as well.

I think people are naturally inclined to a particular direction. Too often, folks are saying how wonderful it is to be loved. How nice it is to be the receipient of adoration, and it is true. We all crave to be significant. We want to be the centre of someone else's world. Of course, there is that safety, that warm glow that comes from being secure in the affection of someone else, and having a safe harbour to come back to.

And when you are in love, the emotional roller-coaster probably gives you the same kinda high as a real one. Maybe even more, since you're perpetually on it. At the start at least. Even if it's unrequited love, there is a special feeling in giving unreservedly to someone and bringing a smile to the face of that special someone.

I'm gonna seperate the two right now, cos it's all well and good when one is in a relationship when it's mutual. The skies open up, the sun is shining, there's a rainbow in the rain, and with every step the flowers open and sing, and all that. (Long term relationships take a lot more work. Those that are in it know, and it's the occasional moments of transcendant joy that makes all the crap worth it)

So, the S$10,251.30 question... the ideal situation aside, which would you rather be? To love? Or to BE loved?

Both have their wonderful side. To balance things off, there is also the emotional burdens that come with loving someone, or being loved.

When you love unrequitedly, the emotional roller-coaster is agonizing. The feeling of being strung up and not knowing where you're going. The pain of knowing it is unrequited, and all that jazz about "when you really love someone you won't care if the person returns that love to you".

Crap, of course you care. And because you love that person, you care infinitely more. And it's gonna affect you. Only question is, how much, and can you live on with it. And of course, that question of how long you would hang on, and will you get over it, if you're ever gonna.

And now, the little talked about downside of being loved. It's strange isn't it? There's no obligation to returning the affection, there's no need for you to. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. REALLY?

Not if you have half a heart, or actually have an iota of care for the other party. Knowing what the other party is going through, and knowing you cannot reciprocate, even when you really want to. Questioning yourself about why it is that you can't feel the same way for this person that is so nice to you. Isn't that what you always wanted? What do you really want... Well, probably every little gesture, every present and stuff is gonna be tinged with a little guilt.

If you have a God-complex, it's even worse. The agony is insidious, and the pain, whilst not direct, or outright, probably makes that which comes from unrequited love seem cathartic in comparison. Worse yet, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Gotta watch yourself as well, in case sensibilities get outraged, or encorage the other party. Ahh... the considerations and ramifications...

In short, even that feeling is NOT GOOD.

For me, at the end of the day, what's my decision? I choose to love. Maybe that's why I subconsciously supress my overwhelming attractiveness.

It's a Wonderful Life

I have personally never watched this movie. But hey, I know that the Yankees are damn proud of it, and it's become something of a Christmas tradition to watch it.

Anyways, here's Jimmy Steward talking about his experience on the set. Christmas may be over, but here's a good reminder, whether or not it is the season for giving presents and wearing red and white jumpers.

And what really constitutes a present? I was struck by the sypnosis of It's a Wonderful Life. How an angel shows a "Nobody" exactly what would happen in this world if that person did not exist. How all his actions affected the people and lives around him, one way or another.

Ah, if only someone can show that to us. How will that affect our perception of ourselves? Or of the world? How would that impact our actions in the future?

For those that are close to you, if there was a way by which they can KNOW how they have made an impact in your life, or in someone else's life, it'll be a present that is truly significant.

Try it, it's just some pieces of paper and a pen. Who knows what would happen.

Indian Movies

It's not fair I tell you. I have been watching Indian movies for a while now, and truth be told, I am struck by an enormous sense of injustice.

They can dance, they have cool clothes, and the men are good looking, the women absolutely stunning. I'm not gonna comment about the singing, but that's freaking enough to get miffed.

And this rather strange concept that they can kiss anywhere but the lips.

Not fair, not fair at all...

Television

I read somewhere that when one watches television, one uses up even less calories than if one is sleeping. I think I can believe that.

Over the last few weeks, I have watched more TV than the rest of the year combined. I gotta say, that it has been a lot of waste of time.

TV I reckon is kinda like sweets. The brain doesn't work, neither does the body. Taken in really really small quantities it might just be a good way to relax. Taken in larger doses, it really paralyzes the brain and the time just flies by.

I shall cut down on TV this new year. Now I'm glad Dad didn't order up cartoon network for cable. Or else, I'm gonna grow roots on the home couch.

Fairy Tales and Truth

Yes, I still watch cartoons all the time.

Cartoons are good wat. Well some are anyways, the old cartoons like Transformers, Mask and Visionaries absolutely ROCK. Some of the new ones like Cow and Chicken, Spongebob (I know some of you like it, I don't) sucks.

Well something was reinforced today in me when I was watching Batman (it's the new series, with the kid Batman. Still good, still good). We humans need dreams. We need fantasy and stories.

We need them like we need the occasional vacation. We need them like the security blanket that we kept from young, or the occasional sweet. We human beings need hope. We need an ideal to work towards, and that's what fairy tales are.

But then again, reality check. Chances are, we're never gonna have fairy tales come true. Or rather, we're not gonna have the whole thing come true for us. Some fragments, most probably, knight in shining armour, maybe. Happily ever after, most definitely not.

Even then, just like dreams, or sweets or the vacation, we can't live in them. They're a refuge, not a permanent residence. And one of the ironies of life is that the only way to get closer to that ideal is to wake up and actually live it.

Let's face it. Life is never gonna be perfect. But it is the lack of perfection that gives it... Character. The ideal is necessary cos we need something to work towards. The stories remind us that there is something to live for. Just try not to cross the line, and dream the life away.

If we live the dream, with all its imperfections in the real world. Perhaps we also get something a little more than that pot of fairy gold. We get to know that we have shite happen to us, and we can take that, and with a shovel, tamp it down for good compost.

Who knows, sometimes, life may just give us a big bunch of lovely smelling flowers as the perfect complement to the fragrance of blood, sweat and toil.

Your Kissing Purity Score: 31% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

How true... how true. Heh...

Filters

Remember the Bird in the Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy? No, you won't find it in the movie, only the book.

It's the one entity in the entire universe that has got absolutely no filters, and hence no limits to the what in can or cannot know, or do.

I reckon that all of us people have filters. It's what makes us human. We need filters to survive, or else we'll be completely overwhelmed. With great insight, requires great strength of mind, and of spirit. Why else do you think that the great thinkers always are somewhat off?

Beethoven was schizo, Handel was a hedonist, I can't quite remember what Edison was, Einstein had 3 wives and never heard of a comb, and Picasso had a taste for ears.

I reckon that most of them had less filters than the normal person. And unfortunately most of them find it hard to bear the kind of knowledge and insight they were given. It must be a heavy burden, and a lonely one at that.

That aside, what kinda filters do we have? As people, humans, the things that we know, do we really KNOW them for sure? Children have no idea what is possible and impossible, and as a result come up with the most fantastic ideas. As we grow up, we acquire more and more filters. More and more people and the world tell us what we can or cannot do, what are limits are, what the boundaries must be.

What if we can find out what we do not know? How are we gonna do that? What if we challenge what we "know for sure" each and every single day? Where will we be in a week, or a month, or a year?

The other question of course, is will we ever be ready for this kind of growth? Will we be ready to accept the kind of burden, power and responsibility that comes with this kind of growth? Maybe that's why it gets harder as we go along, because we'll need the journey to get us ready for the kind of weight that end will take us.

I reckon that's a small little bit of infinity in every single one of us. A speck of the universe. What can we truly truly achieve if we live every day to the fullness of our ability?

Wow.

Hope

What IS hope?

I have been intending to write about this for a while now, but never got around to it. And now, with me on leave, and dragged out of my bed in the morning to take care of recordings... it seem like a good time to write.

Now I have been hearing this word, false hope getting thrown around way too much.

WTF is false hope? Now I understand false expectations. Something that was promised but the person that does it has not even the INTENTION of fulfilling it.

But hope? Hope is something that was intangible in the first place. It is hope simply because there is no expectation, just a wish for something to happen. Maybe something even less tangible that even that. It is an idea, a wisp of something to look forward to. That is hope. A chance that something will happen, no matter how slim that chance is.

To paraphrase Prachett, that the one in a million chance that happens nine out of ten times.

So, if that is hope, there cannot be false hope right? An oxymoron if you ask me.

Even when hope is NOT fulfilled, it still is necessary. Why? Because humans always need something to look forward to. Something outside of themselves to live for. It's just us.

That everyone needs dreams. Everyone needs hope, even if nine out of ten times hope doesn't work. It is that one time, that makes all the 9 times worth it. It is that 1% of the time, that people strive for, and achieve that makes we look forward to happen. That 1 time, and all the effort and disappointment is given meaning.

After all, when all dreams are over, either when we stop hoping, or by the fulfilling of hope, it's time to die.

May YOU have all your dreams come true, but ONE.

The Responsible Flirt

Seems like an oxymoron doesn't it? Responsibility and flirting has probably not been mentioned in the same breath. Heck, probably not even in the same conversation, or even on the same planet.

Fact of the matter is, that they might not be as far apart as what one might think.

What is a flirt? Someone with charm, charisma, and flair, and is not afraid to use it to generate attraction in the opposite sex (or the same one, depends on which direction you're leaning towards. It's the 21st century after all).

Now my question, is WHY is flirting a bad thing? I mean, it's almost always given a bad reputation. But don't we all want to be attractive? To be able to hold a decent, stimulating conversation with another person, to make them smile and laugh, and after that, to be confident and interesting.

As far as flirting is concerned, hey, Freud said that everything we humans do have a certain amount of sexual connotation. Now, I personally think that he might be taking it LEETLE too far, and believe that he's probably had WAY too much thinking, too little sex and possibly OD'ed on what passes for porn during those times (from what I heard, they got off on ankles. I personally can't imagine a centerfold that's fully clothed, with, GASP, naked calves)

That being said, I think he's onto something. A little sexual connotation, a little twist on language, a little teasing is a good thing. A little. Like the verbal and physical equivalent of salt and pepper. Why not? I mean, how bland is a dish without any salt and pepper, without stimulation? Given that sometimes natural tastes are desirable as well, a little seasoning can take something that's already great and make it better.

Ok, let's be fair. Without substance and content, no amount of verbal bantering is gonna help. But hey, for the sake of argument, and to avoid myopia, we shall assume this to be already settled aye?

Moving on, just like seasoning, one cannot apply flirting without care to the recipient. Some people can take it, others can't. Some can take more, some less, and some none at all. Some might even get completely overwhelmed by it and then take it completely out of context.

So the person who has the charm, the charisma, the ability for attraction need to apply this with care. Context and the person on the recieving end of such a communication is vital. The ability to manage this application, is RESPONSIBILITY.

And as such, what is a responsible flirt? An attractive person with wit, charm, and is not afraid to use it appropriately. A "chef" of communication that uses the tools at his disposal ethically. It is also someone who loves a good conversation, draws the lines clearly, toes it but never oversteps.

That person is one that knows the importance of emotions, holds them dear, and before things get out of hand, pulls back and makes sure that nobody and no feelings is hurt, even if it's in the name of fun. ESPECIALLY in the name of fun.

That dear friends, is a responsible flirt.

Quote from an Indian Movie

I LOVE INDIAN MOVIES!

The dance is fantastic, the story line is interesting, and the women are absolutely stunning. Damn, it's not fair that they have the looks, and they have the moves as well...

Anyway, here's a really interesting quote for all you die hard romantics out there.

"Love is like life. It is not always easy, and it does not always bring happiness. But as we carry on living, why should we not carry on loving?"

Simple, yet true.

"The Parafaith War"- An Excerpt

I reread the entire book again. This is one of the things that really affected my view on power. It talks about violence, but power comes with the ability to create this violence. To me, it talks about the responsibility that comes with the wielding of power.

"Can violence and the use of force to effect change upon the universe be left to the young? Do they see what was, what is, and what might yet be? Have they suffered, watched evil fall upon the good, or good upon the evil?

"Or should the burden of violence be left to those who can bear it most lightly - upon those who have closed their minds or their feelings? How then can they understand the suffering that they must inflict?

"Should the burden of force be laid upon the short-lived, who will not see the consequences of their actions? How can they dispense force with compassion if they can escape the knowledge of what they do?

"The greater the force brought to bear, the older and wiser must the entity who wields it. Wisdom allows sorrow. Age allows experience, and knowledge reinforces wisdom and experience.

"Those who would bear the burden of force must be those who are strong and do not seek it, for those who seek force would misuse it, and those who are weak would shy from what they must do."

Hence the paradox of power and force.

Reminder

Finally, after 3 days, internet came back. Now, some things to write about...

• Holiday taking and my broker exams
• Hope
• The Parafaith War
• The Responsible Flirt
  

Looks like it's gonna be a pretty busy weekend eh?

Bastard-ology

The Bastard. The one creature that has been the topic of more relationship conversations than probably any other person in the world.

What IS a bastard? The general idea in the world is that the bastard is any male that breaks a gal's heart. Over the last few conversations with my female friends, who talked about it in their blogs (here and here) I kinda figured that it's about time the MAN comes in and take a stand on the case.

First and foremost, has anyone actually ever DEFINED a bastard? A female friend says it's a guy that does things that he KNOWS will break the gal's heart but does it anyway.

I'd like to take it a little further. According to EDMUND's Dictionary of relationship terms,

"Bastard noun A person that uses emotions and relationships to get what he or she wants, be it money, sex, or emotional validation"

Now balking tradition, I included females in the definition of a bastard. This is the 21st century after all. Women want equality, well you got it.

Another difference that I thought added to the definition of a bastard. Emotional validation. Well we are all familiar with bastards that get into a relationship for money, or sex. What's this emotional validation thing? Well, the simpler term for this is "safety net". Heard of it?

This class of bastards are a little more insidious. They don't go for the money, they don't go for the sex, but what they do go for is keep someone on the side as back up, a spare tyre. This is all well and good for the bastard of course, but absolutely agonizing for the person on the side, to be used and discarded at will.

Money you can earn back, after the sex, one gets on with life (of course, I am of the firm belief that there's a special section of hell reserved for bastards who take virgins. Heck I'll personally work the bellows). But for a person dangling on a yo-yo?

I have come to the conclusion that the biggest bastards have at one time been the nicest guys. And since the assholes are the ones who are more challenging, and therefore more "exciting" and desirable, the nice guys are the nice stable types who at the end of the day, gets thrown to one side or are prime candidates for safety nets.

When cynicism and disappointment sets in, these same "nice guys" become bastards. End of story. Perhaps the reason why there aren't that many nice guys anymore is cos the ladies kill them off themselves.

No reserve, No Retreats, No Regrets

This man was mentioned in the sermon on Sunday by the pastor. I can only remember his first name, and with some difficulty the three things he wrote at the back of his bible.

This guy didn't have an illustrious career as a missionary, though he wanted to be one. But what he wrote at the back of his Bible is a shining example to all of us.

The man was Wiiliam Borden. He died at 25 studying Arabic to prepare himself to spread the word to the Muslims in China.

After travelling the world and given the burden of evangelism, he wrote this at the back of his Bible. "NO RESERVES"

When he was offered great jobs after leaving college, he stuck to his mission of going forward to spread the Word. He wrote two more words. "NO RETREATS"

When his body was brought home from Egypt, where he fell sick, and passed away learning Arabic to prepare for his mission, they found these words written at the back of his Bible. "No Regrets"

In his 25 years of living, even though he did not fulfil his mission of going to the field, this MAN has shown us all a simple, yet profound truth.

Take the time to read his short story here.

The Passing of A Legend

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This is sad news. And a little late, but better late than never.

Mr Miyagi, from The Karate Kid passed away on Friday.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2005/11/25/state/n062348S26.DTL

The Karate Kid was one of the greatest memories of my formative years. Now, the man shall live on in the memories of a generation of people that remember him in that defining role that shaped the lives of millions of kids around the world.

Let's take a moment and remember our childhood and the people that shaped it.

Holiday Season

Random thoughts in the morning, after I woke up.

How do YOU spend Christmas and the New Year? Party the night away? Hang out with friends, have fun, do crazy things that you normally wouldn't even consider doing? (Last year, during New Year, we crashed the party of the folks upstairs of our hotel room. Hey they dared us!)

Maybe I'm getting old, but I'm starting to consider why it is that we actually do the things that we do. Do we join in the crazy revelry because we humans, are social animals? We want to belong to something bigger han ourselves, and during times like these, we again affirm that we are not alone in the world, and there usually is someone sillier than ourselves. Maybe.

The one peeve I usually have is that after the party is over, the clean up is a ton of work. What kinda clean up? Well walk along Orchard Road, or Boat Quay the morning after, and you'll see what I mean. Not only that, one night of excess drinks and too little sleep usually have us crashing for the next couple of days. That, more than any other reason is probably why the next couple of days are holidays.

But maybe I'm getting old, but since 4 or 5 years back, I have made it a point to make Christmas a time that one spends with loved ones. No, no sudden surge of Christmas conscience, but rather, an instant of reflection, ironically in the middle of a club along Mohammad Sultan, after going carolling. I suddenly found it pointless, to spend the season of love and remembering and honouring those people we find closest to us, in a club surrounded by strangers. I can't find meaning or fun after that. Man, I remember even after a good jug of whiskey dry, I suddenly got sober, and sat with my uni friend in the corner of the club, watching and wrapped in our thoughts.

And this morning waking up out of bed, I wonder if it makes sense to spend the whole of New Year's eve getting sloshed and partying. Oh believe me, I believe that partying has its part in the whole celebrations thing, and I firmly believe that probably before the sun comes up, one has got to move one's bon bon to at least ONE trashy song.

But before that? I think this year I'll try something different. I think I'll still take the hotel room. I'll still get the booze out, and perhaps a couple of cigars. But the afternoon, and the evening before the revelry goes, I think I'll take some time and reflect everything that has happened over the last year. I need to remember all the good things and bad things that happened, the lessons I learnt, or didn't learn and essentially mark and honour those memories. I will take some time to feel thankful for all the people that have come and gone in that last year, and I'll take some time to reflect.

And since it is the threshold of the new year, I will also take some time to consider my own future year. One more potential year of ups and downs, of growth, and perhaps, just perhaps start to germinate a plan of what I want to do in the coming year. It is time on earth that is given, and I reckon it's only right that I take a little time to try to use it well.

I want to spend that time with a few people with similar ideals of the evening, and over some drinks, somewhere, overlooking the water, and just let the thoughts ebb and flow for the day and perhaps the better part of the evening.

The partying will come after.

Oh, and the ass we'll kick I think is gonna be much better, and much crazier, simply because we have taken time to find closure to the year, and celebrate the coming of the new one with a little less baggage.

So, New Year eve reflection anyone? Bring a writing pad, a pen and a bottle of booze.

Be-Cough Of You

It is my belief that the most DISGUSTING disease in the world is the common flu. It is also the single most irritating, and most prevalent of all illnesses.

In fact, if we had a misery index of all the diseases in the world together, I believe that the flu virus will top the chart by a HUGE lead.

Let's list all the things that possibly happen to one in the event of the common flu.

1. The fever sucks, and throws your thermostat out of whack. Bury yourself in blankets and you're too hot. Take away one, and you feel like you're in the middle of the arctic.

2. The running nose and the sneezing. Someone told me that when one sneezes, the force generated by the sneeze is equal to a minor hurricane. I can believe it. Try sneezing at your work table with a stack of loose paper. Hurricane Katrina? Bah! The sore nose from the blowing, and the leaking when you're NOT, oh the agony.

3. The pimples. YES! What is the direct result of all that rubbing and sneezing of the nose? The blossoming of pimples. And don't even get me started on the pain of one unripe one right on the side of your nose.

4. The incessant cough. Now I am not sure if this happens to everyone. But my throat at least takes forever to recover from any flu. The constant coughing is terribly wearing. Can't sleep, can hardly eat, in fact, been nervous about driving as well because of the cough. Last thing you wanna be doing is to battle rush hour traffic with your body racked with a string of coughing.

4. The sore throat, and loss of voice. If you're an introvert, no issue. If you're someone who needs the voice to work, 'nuff said.

5. The gunk that comes out of every orfice of one's body. Green spit, green mucus... Almost feels like you're melting inside and stuff is coming out of every part of the body.

6. Loss of sleep due to all of the above.

7. The general feeling of crapiness.

And Last but definitely NOT least, is the sheer number of times it happens. It's absurd! And there's no known cure for the common cold. Oh... Ebola, you get it, you die, end of story. Chicken pox, get it once, and you're done for the rest of your life. But the flu... Oh! the FLU! It just keeps coming back!

Enough ranting. My eyes are getting cross eyed from all the coughing. Peace, Out.

Stories

A quick thought.

Why is it that certain lessons of life, and truths are best illustrated not by life itself, but by fictional, or even fantasy stories?

So much so that sometimes, facts and history books in comparison in the description and putting a point across.

In fact, I have realized that it almost seems that the more fundamental the lesson, the more necessary it be put across in story form.

Just a thought. Dinner beckons. And little in life is more real than the growl of the stomach.

The Weight of Knowledge

When I was really young (about 7 or 8) I made a conscious decision to know, no matter how painful or heavy knowledge is.

I believed then, and I still believe now that knowledge is power. And to know or understand something, one is made custodian and bears the burden of that knowledge. One is then responsible for its dissemination and use.

Say for example, when I was in university, the hard copy of this these rantings included a section on ideal date ideas, and there were loads of contribution from both genders. Truth be told, I didn't show it to everyone. I was hugely selective on who I gave the information to. I chose only those people that I thought needed that knowledge or would put it to good use.

There is a part of me that's hugely interested in booze (but you all already know that). And as a result of that knowledge I can probably get folks drunk without them even knowing they're well on the road to get wasted. This knowledge I used to guard like a Ah Pek does his winning 4D slip.

Why? Because in the wrong hands, this knowledge is dangerous. If there come a time where the person I give the info to abuses it, I cannot be blameless. It's like handing a loaded gun to a kid, a beer bottle to a drunk, or letting a 12 year old behind the car. Knowledge in the hands of someone who do not know how to use it, or abuses it, is either wasted, or potentially disasterous.

Then again, how does one know if a person is suitable till he IS given that knowledge? Ahhh.... The confusion and the paradox.

No wonder Einstein lost so much hair. From what little I know of the great man, he encountered the same dilemma when he discovered atomic energy. The ability for man to hold so much power is at the same time, humbling, terrifying, exciting, and possibly, dangerously intoxicating and addictive.

I'm going to borrow the Parafaith Wars again by LE Modesitt Jr. There is a paragraph inside that I want to write on this subject. When I find it, I'll write it here. In the mean time, here's what I wrote the last time.

ADDED - 17 Feb 2006
An elaboration of the burden of knowledge.

As time goes by, the more knowledge you possess, the more selective you are at sharing. Many other considerations come to mind even before one shares. One starts to realize that it is not a good idea to share everything one knows.

Some people are not receptive, some are not ready, some end up rejecting both the knowledge, and the person that attempts to share. There might even be some that would take the knowledge in a way by which it was not intended, and we end up hurting them or people around them with this same knowledge.

For me, I try to keep an open mind about most things. I agree to disagree. In a good argument/discussion, one can clarify one's own point of view, as well as begin to understand where the other person is coming from. Or in some rare occasions, might even provide enough food for thought to get the other party to start agreeing with you. Or Vice Versa.

As custodians, we constantly face with a decision whether to share the knowledge we hold. We constantly have to ask ourselves. To share, or not to share? What kind of consequences will there be, either way? At the end of the day, we are the judge, jury and executioner of our own verdict, and we have to live with our decision. Like it or not.

Perhaps ignorance is truly bliss. So my friend, if you have the knowledge, use it well. If you don't, be thankful you are not burdened by it. And if that honour and responsibility is thrust upon you, pray that you make the right choices, or pray that you can live with the consequences.

The Dilemma of Love

One of the paradoxes of life that I have been contemplating for almost a decade, and yet not able to answer.

When 2 people are together, there is usually a lot of conflict that needs resolving. Habits that one or the other find offensive, schedules, nitty gritty details that come with associating with another person intimately for long periods of time.

Some things we can change, some, we can't. In those times, there need be a certain amount of acceptance. My question is this, where does one draw the line of that acceptance?

And innately there is a certain ego involved when it comes to relationships. What do I mean? We believe ourselves to be the best person for our halves. It's an innate, natural feeling. A small issue comes when an insidious question worms into our minds. What if, in that acceptance, the person is not as happy as he or she potentially can be? I mean on one hand, you want the person to be with you, and so you do your best. On the other, you want the person to be completely happy.

Do we still change? Or do we let the person go? Where do we fight, and where do we say, go, and be as happy as you can possibly be, and don't let me hold you back.
Is the latter option a coward's way out? Or is it only logical? I don't believe the answer to be one or the other. What I do believe, is that the answer must lie somewhere in the middle. Where is my own balance? I'm not sure.

Somewhere in me is the answer. I know I have yet to find it.

Maturity

What is Maturity? What is this word that everyone uses but nobody quite understands the full meaning of?

I mean, we keep telling kids to grow up. Or tell someone that this person or action is mature/immature. But truth be told, what the HECK IS MATURITY???

Well we all know what maturity is NOT. It's not growing up or growing old. Maturity is not gained by the passing of years. Adulthood is, but maturity? Goodness knows.

Some are born with it. Some seek it, and find it. Some have it forced upon them. But what is it really?

Kinda like love in this aspect isn't it? You can describe its effects, its characteristics and is attributes, but I don't think any in the world can quite describe what maturity IS.

I'd like to put forward at this time that maturity is defined in people by what the positive qualities that they hold dear. I believe that everyone, whether they know it or not, holds a particular image of what an ideal person is like. The characteristics and traits of that person, the attributes, likes and dislikes.

I think that the easiest definition of maturity is the progression towards this ideal in that person. The closer you are to that ideal, the more mature you are. The further away, the less mature you seem to be.

Again, maturity is relative. Why? Because the ideals in people and the things that make up that ideal is relative. And that what is mature to one person is not that to another.

What are some of the things that I find make up a mature person?
1. Self awareness and one's comfort level with oneself
2. Self-Control
3. Empathy or taking a step in the other person's shoes.
4. Taking responsibility for one's own life.

Based on these, not many people in Singapore, adults and even old people included, that fall in the category of mature people. But hey, what can I say, not everyone is grown up, or heck, even WANT to grow up. Or maybe I just see them as being immature, the same way they see me.

Dumb and Dumber

My first speaking experience to an audience of 42 people went without a major hitch on my part. But not really able to engage the audience. Damn. I must be losing it. Must really brush up my presentation skills again.

Anyways, being sick that day does not help. Was a little woozy. But the fun over the weekend just begun. Over the rest of the day, my voice gradually dropped. It's like suddenly I have a limited store of voice, and now, I am rapidly burning up my reserves.

Saturday night and I have not much voice left. Sunday morning. I work up, and I realized, I CAN ONLY WHISPER!

Hell, that's not even talking. That's textured AIR!

Anyways, ever tried planning a get together for somebody, and NOT be able to even talk? It's freaking torture I tell you. And add that to the lack of sleep. Thank GOD for modern technology.

Right anyway, weekend is over, and right now, I sound like Cookie Monster's grandfather. Maybe I'll get my voice back tomorrow as a bday present.

Wishes and Dreams

Unfortunately life is not like a computer game, where we can keep playing and saving and going back until we have the perfect game.

Dale Carnegie had the right idea when he was talking about making speeches. I think the same idea can be applied to life as well. I sort of quote from his book, "How to Develop Self-Confidence And Influence People By Public Speaking". "A good life is when at the end of it, you have 3 lives. One you prepared for, One you actually lived, and one that you wish you lived."

The South Americans were smart. And I wish this on anyone, "May you have all your dreams fulfilled but ONE."

Why? Simple, because if you had one dream, one desire yet unresolved, you carry on striving for it, your life has meaning. When you have fulfilled all your dreams, you stop growing, you will lack direction. It is time to die.

Think about it, and think about the things you are wishing for. Reach for the stars, so when you fall, you probably won't land in mud.

Pictures from Halloween

Check out the very very HOT catwoman in that cut up cat suit. Booya! I wonder who the heck is under that mask. ROOOOWWRRRR!

Olinda Chu seems to be the lucky owner of that lil cat... Hmm... Wonder how much is that pussy in the window. The one with the shiny buckle.

Yeah,we got on Nightlife as well. And well deservedly too, I gotta add. Too bad, they didn't get me too. Shows ya that not everyone has taste.

Right, enough cam whoring. Back to real food for thought. Eye and brain candy time is over.

Finally, Pictures from Halloween

Ah yes, the pictures from the Halloween party. The one big party in the year, that got me to try my absolute best to stay away from partying on a weekday. I am not as young as I used to be.

You will realize there is a lack of make up on my face. Yes it is true. My naked face is by FAR the scariest thing on earth.


This is me with my Big Buddy Faz. No I am not drunk, I'm trying to look non-chalant. The "Dao" look just don't cut it for me.

I'm gonna go try and perfect staring down at people. I perfected the furrowed brow and the single eyebrow raise. I can master a good snobby, atas look.





That's Faz comparing who's got the bigger mouth.

I think Faz wins hands down, that's why the chap masquarading as a depressed Death is pissed off.

Methinks even Death needs some joy juice sometimes.






Siggh, is it my lot in life to always be oppressed by women?

NO I say!

They're just trying to keep me down, cos they know I'm so hot. Maybe they have better luck hiring full time bouncers instead.




One big happy family.

We met a couple of Shal's friends at the club, then proceeded to start a couple of dance fights. For the less literate among ya, it's when a group of people form a circle and take turns to get in the middle to bust their moves.

The lady in the pick fur hat is someone who got attracted to the commotion and joined in. We KNOW how to get a party started.

Yes, I know. My bo chub look looks sleepy this time. I'm working on it!




This whole obsession with skin whitening products goes to a whole new level. Or maybe she's albino. But hey, what do we Singaporeans pledge? "Regardless of race, language or religion" Right? I happen to take my pledge very seriously, especially when it comes to women

Though she is a bit of a cold fish, but I still managed to get to her in the end. Speaks loads about my charm doesn't it?



A couple more of pictures more to go....

Car Accidents and 4D Numbers

I believe this phenomenon only happens in Singapore.

I think I'll put it up on my top 10 things in Singapore that's uniquely Singaporean.

Whenever there's an accident of any sort, there is typically a jam. Now that is common. What is NOT common is the reason WHY there is a traffic jam.

It is not because of a narrowing of traffic. Neither is it cos you're concerned, and would call an ambulance for the poor soul (after all, using hps in cars are a big no-no... we cause more accidents cos both our hands are not on the steering wheel. I might delve into the inner workings of the government psyche, but I have not the willpower to keep my IQ artificially depressed).

Nope, more than half the time, it is to take note of the car plate number, so that the person can buy 4D or Toto later on. For the non-Singys, that's the equivalent of the lottery.

Oh the extent that people go to find inspiration for gambling. I have even had it happen to me before when my car blew a tyre on the ECP. This was in the afternoon when there aren't many cars around, mind you. And what happened, but a tailback started forming right behind my car.

Heck, when I dutifully put out the hazard sign the requisite 30 meters and attempted to change my car tyre, there were dozens of cars that starting switching lanes JUST TO TAKE NOTE OF MY CAR PLATE NUMBER. There is no other explaination for it.

In fact, with this desperation to find a muse for the 4D slip, there were several near misses and close shaves behind my car, possibly giving not only the first prize, but possibly the 2nd, 3rd as well as a couple of starters and consolation prizes as well.

And then my brain on overdrive, I was wondering to myself, hmm... what if I bought up ALL the 4D with my car plate number on it, and sold it to these gloating, inconsiderate assholes... make a quick buck and punish them at the same time.

Anyway, I took special note of the 4D results that weekend as well as a few more weekends after. Let's just say that this whole she-bang doesn't work.

What you can definitely know for sure, is that there's gonna be a jam if you're slowing down to look at the 4D number, your eyelid is gonna be twitching like mad, especially if there was a silver nissan sunny stuck somewhere at the back of the line.

Merc Cabs update

I took a mercedes cab yesterday. Damn, the new merc cabs look good. Anyways, for those of ya who do not know yet, Merc Cabs now cost 20 cents more to take. They start at $2.60 instead of $2.40.

You have been warned.

Still if you're aching for a little bit of pampering... Go ahead. You can afford 20 cents

Shake Rattle and Roll

Wassup Wassup!!!

Tonite I check out the set of my 2nd most favourite DJ, DJ Rattle at One Fullerton. That man freakin RAWKS on the wheels of steel.

Ranked among the top 10 in the WORLD, I believe that Singapore has good reason to be proud of this man. I believe that the big shit-eating grin on his face whenever he hits the decks is one of the major reasons why he's all the way up there. That, and when I heard him kick ass in the Singapore DMC championships, he is smoooooth.

Enough gushing. I'm bringing my clubbing cap, and very very cool moves down to show any wannabe rawkers how it's done.

Peace, out.

Taxis and Human Nature

The next time I hear any taxi driver say that business is bad, I'm going to royally, publically DISS the bugger. In fact, I'll drag him out of the seat, screaming and kicking, and crucify him for blasphemy and sacrilege.

Warn your friends, your relatives, or any taxi drivers that you'll be meeting. Edmund is on a rampage.

I tried giving taxi drivers the benefit of doubt. I attempted to be understanding, and see how I can rationalize the actions of the cab driver, to being the poor downtrodden masses trying hard to make a living for their 3 screaming children and faithful doe-eyed wife.

I gave up.

I am sure that most cab drivers in Singapore are hardworking, nice, people who are trying to make a living, but get their asses kicked by the evil cab companies who up their rent over and beyond what is humanly tolerable. I am even sure that the accounts department for the cab companies can squeeze water from a rock, or rebates from the IRAS.

But there will be some STUPID, IRRESPONSIBLE, PIG HEADED, SLOBS who slack off like CRAZY, piss off all those people willing to pay, and after that, complain that they cannot make a living.

Take this morning for example. I try, SOO hard to get a cab. I counted at least 3 EMPTY cabs, no ON CALL sign, no BUSY, no SHIFT CHANGE signs, but when I attempt to flag them down, they took a nice long look at me, then carried on driving.

DUDE! I am SURE I don't stink. Neither do I look like a serial killer that pretends to be a passenger then murders them for their cash card when I get on the cab.

Then I found out why. The reason, according to one of the nice, normal, hardworking cabby, is cos these people are waiting FOR CALLS. Yeah, they want that extra $3 when you get onto the cab.

Arseholes. Truth be told, what's the opportunity cost of NOT picking people up? It's gonna cost wayy more than just the $3. 15 minutes between calls, during rush hour can mean one or maybe 2 full cab rides. That's at least $5-10 bucks out the window.

For $3, you throw away $5? Hmm... what's the logic in that? THEN they blame the world for their starving kids.

And all those cabs that do not go into the CBD simply cos it'll cost an extra S$1 to get customers. Regardless of the sheer number of people waiting for cabs on the other side of the gantry... they will rather waste time, enerygy, petrol to drive around, than to spend that $1 and actually make a living.

So the next time I hear one cabby complain about business being bad, I'm gonna slaughter him. Blood's gonna flow.

Masochism and Achievement

I have come to a realization over the weekend. This is an epiphany.

Ladies and gentle souls, I have realized, that the truth of the matter is, that achievement is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to Masochism.

Eh? What do ya mean, I hear you say... I'm sure Donald Trump and Sim Wong Hoo don't have a a closet tendancy to wear scrap leather and be spanked by tall, blond, whip wielding Amazons.

Shows ya how much you know about them don't ya?

No, seriously. I have realized that the achiever in life has come to a rather... unique view on life. Their WORK is actually FUN to them. In fact, the harder it is, the more difficult the going, the tougher the problem, the MORE they enjoy it.

One of the main reasons why Trump has the things he has now, is simply because he is hugely interested in the art of making deals. The bigger the deal, the higher the stakes... the more exciting it is for him. Kinda like finding the secret ultra tough level on your latest computer game, and the perverse pleasure of conquering that stage.

The computer geek gets a high score, recorded on the comp. Trump's high score is in cold hard cash, which he in turns goes onto the next stage and finds the next tougher stage to clear.

See the co-relation? It's strange that the epiphany comes when I am doing the direct OPPOSITE. I have slacked across the entire weekend at home. In doing so, I have realized that my spare time is spent on doing whatever it is that I value the most. In this case, watching the tango scene from Scent of a Woman 3 times, and admiring the yummy blond that danced with Al Pacino.

Then I realized, looking back at the things that I would do if I had the money to, or that other people would do, I realized that the common man's (or woman, or child) response to excess cash, or excess time is to.... SLACK OFF!

THAT is the one thing we hold closest to our hearts!

A strange thought then occurs to me, on the irony of life. That if I want to be able to slack off, I have to NOT enjoy slacking off. In other words, I have ACTUALLY turn into a masochist. Work must equal fun. That when I have free time, I actually must naturally gravitate towards... WORK.

Looks like it's time for me to go shopping for leather accessories, eh? Anyone free this Saturday to indulge in a little deviant behaviour?

Laughter, The Best Medicine

Check this guy out.

Talk about a webcam whore...

Iraqi Porn

This is absolutely hilarious!

I have no idea how Tilia found this but I'm damn glad she did.

Whatever gets those boys off... If you have a harem you have to learn sex from SOMEWHERE.

Agony

My buddy from NYC, Kamil says that these are his lesbian colleagues.

OH THE PAIN!!!

I have the lyrics "Shot through the heart, and you're too late" running through my mind right now.

Couch Potato

I never thought I can be so slack, but I actually spent nearly the entire day in front of the television. Why is that?

I have no idea really.

Almost like the greater the motivation, the greater the slumps. But that just might be an excuse for myself.

No clubbing, no parties this weekend. I think everyone has overpartied over the last weekend. After all with 2 holidays in one week, I reckon even the most hardcore kid on the block will be wiped out by today.

I found a picture on my friend's friendster. Here, take a look. I doubt I'll ever be a camwhore, but hey... one picture doth not a camwhore make.

Yeah, I know I'm hot.

Other trivials, Lyd came back from Oz and added to my alcohol collection. THANKS SIS! But seriously, chilli in butterscotch schnapps? Hmm, I need to get someone to testdrive this first... I wonder if it's the wussy ang-moh chillis or are they gonna pack a punch like the chilli padi. Any volunteers?

Been feeling lerthagic recently... and reading through the I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams, vs Way of the Superior Man... hmm... I'm still trying to integrate both sides of the coin into my own system. Wonder how I can get my cake and eat it.

In the mean time, I'm just wondering why my brain seem to have gone on holiday. Well I'm not gonna venture a guess.

Tomorrow it's gonna be 7:30am at city bayview... sheesh.

Another time, friends, when my mind has come back from its holidays.

Birthday Wishes

Hey Gen, hey Sonya, Happy Birthday! Belated as it is... Hope you gals had what you wanted for the day itself, and have even more adventures down under.

Remember to update me on your mischief in Oz!

Tiredness

This will probably be the last time I'm heading out to club without a holiday the next day. I am really getting too old for this shit.

Right now I still feel like Death warmed over, and my brain activities are near absolute zero. If someone came and took an MRI right now, my guess is that mine might be mistaken for the coma patient in the hospital. My eyes tracking the letters on the screen? That's just REM of deep sleep, with my eyes open.

Why is it that I feel so lerthagic? Honestly I don't know. Emotionally I feel like I flat lined as well... Nothing is exciting me, nothing is depressing me, nothing is making me high or low. Damn, this is cause for concern. IF I can get up enough energy to be.

Funny thing is, I'm also watching my DVDs after I come home, instead of heading straight to bed, like I know will be good for me. What the heck is wrong with me? Hmmm...

Halloween Eve

Ahhh... I have been waiting for a long long time to go out during Halloween's. It's an interesting time, to see all the people in costume.

This year's Halloween's is right before Deepavali. Is it a good thing? Probably, for most of the folks out there. This year though, I am at work.

But this is a good thing. That means money coming in for my company, only thing is that I have to wake up at 6:45 in the morning!

Anyways, looking at weird people in stranger clothes is not an opportunity that should be passed up, even if I am not gonna have much sleep.

OK, highlights of the evening:

Getting into Nude for Free, cos the back door wasn't guarded and I just walked right in.

Doing salsa and getting everyone's attention (again... Weep, Fuzz, Weep) Wasn't on form though... forgot a lot of the more spectacular moves.

Meeting 2 of Shal's dance friends, I am wayyy too old to keep up with these hyperactive kids. I'm hot, but I just don't have enough energy to keep up.

Dance fights getting started wherever we go. What can we say, we freaking ROCKED the party.

(I think) Nadya Hutagalung in a Catwoman suit. 'Nuff Said.

There's this big man that looks like he's from Jamaica, and DAMN he can move.

FUZZ, if you're reading this, I want my pictures. There are voyuers here waiting to see us in all our glory.

More on Holloween's when the pictures come.

Fear

For just an instant, imagine that ALL fear is taken from you while leaving all of your other faculties intact.

What is it gonna be like? What will you stop doing? What would you do? What CAN you do?

Imagine, for a moment, that you are not confined at all by these chains, where would you go? To what heights would you soar?

That, my friend will be the absolute limit of your potential. So live each day with a little less fear. With a little more clarity, and a little more assurance.

Then pray... pray FUCKING hard that you have the wisdom and strength to control the power that the lack of fear gives you.

Would you move the world to avoid stepping on an ant?

When one chain breaks, hope that the breaking of the chain will also give you the strength and the ability to use your new skills wisely. That's exactly the same reason why the butterfly needs to struggle out of the chrysalis. That struggle actually help pump vital fluids into its new wings. Without the struggle, the newly hatched butterfly dies.


Perhaps that's the reason why there's shit in the world. So we can learn and grow, and practice enough to use the new things we acquire through the struggle. Interesting isn't it?

The Mask

It's Halloween's today.

What is the attraction of Halloween's? I think before the age of internet, it's the one time in the year that people can be someone else.

I am reminded of Terry Prachett's "Maskarade", as well as the show "The Mask", and I wonder what kind of mask everyone wears when they meet people. What happens if we let our inner feelings out? What happens if for one day, or one evening, you can do absolutely ANYTHING you want, and not have to live with the consequences?

That's why some people like wearing real masks during this one time in the year right? They hide their true faces, and when that happens, they can do whatever they want. For some reason, the physical mask takes away the need for a social one and whatever is inside that person comes out.

So is the being that comes out your true self? What is it that you are hiding? Can you come to terms with your hidden self?

Can it be that perhaps people will accept your whole package exactly as you are, once you yourself is able to accept you? Maybe.

Scary isn't it, the Mask? When the face is covered, the true self is released.



On the flip side, perhaps, just perhaps, behind that wall that we put up, is beauty beyond measure, a bright jewel, a brilliant light that we ourselves deny, because we cannot believe that we are really that wonderful. Or maybe, like in the movie, it's just one bloody jester, just waiting to get out.

More On Packaging

It's strange, this man and woman game. I FINALLY watched Hitch over the weekend. I thought it was so good, that I wanted to watch it again.

Why?

Simple, cos it validates my previous thoughts on the subject.

There are absolutely great guys out there, and there are more than enough eligible males in Singapore. But bloody hell, we men SOO need "packaging".

So the next time women complain about men being shallow, shoot right back at them. The kind of packaging might be different, but if women still are taken in by packaging. Nice clothes, nice car, nice teeth, nice nails... We might as well be horses on display. Wanna see my bright bushy mane?

That being said, I wonder, what is it that makes a guy turn into a wuss the second he talks to a beautiful woman? Why is it that the man's mind blank out, the legs turn to jelly, and the heart jumps through the mouth?

Even I get that occasionally. Personally I'm not sure. I'm still finding out. Once I figure out that magic formula I'll post it, so all my brothers benefit.

In the mean time, gals, cut the men some slack. We're nice decent fellows. That's why we lack the polish. We wear our hearts on our sleeves and when we do show it, don't step on it. Reckon the only way we're gonna get polish is gonna be going out there and practicing... But that'll make us players. Even romance novel heroes are the "bad guys" of a thousand conquests.

Well... with christmas round the corner, maybe it's time for some gift-wrapping eh?;)

The Weekend

The weekend is positively slack. Not much in terms of activity. A lot of time is spent in front of the TV, watching the big stash of DVDs I brought back from the last trip in Indonesia.

Nice and relaxing. If only it was raining, then it'll be perfect. But Nooo... it has to rain today, on the way to work and worsen the already horrible traffic.

I like rainy mornings. Come to think of it, I like rain in general. Not to be outside and getting wet, but even that I don't really mind, in the army. No mosquitoes. So I do not have to be go crazy out of my mind trying to catch and kill the single most useless creature in the entire world.

There are 2 kinds of perfect evenings, way I see it, each catering to one extreme of my character.

The quiet side says, hot milo, blanket, one major mother of a rainstorm outside and me with absolutely nothing to do but watch movies or read a good book.

The happening side hollers out, for a very very cool party with fun, beautiful, INTELLIGENT people, getting half sloshed and shaking our booty to RnB, or salsa.

Over the weekend, barring the crappy weather, it's been good for me quiet side.

Today is suppose to be Halloween's... Maybe I'll head to town to see all the folks that are dressed up and shit. Should be interesting. Maybe I'll even put on that tattoo that I bought from Jakarta.

Giving Your Heart Away

A lot of people hoard love.

The heart is a limited resource, a lot of folks believe. And once a piece of it is given away, the person is diminished for it. After all, that's the reason why at the end of the relationship, a person feels diminished right?

You gave your heart away, and then it didn't come back.

This is what I found out.

After one gives one's heart away, the piece that is given away never comes back. A gift of love and time, and commitment never comes back. Of course, when a relationship sours, sometimes we have to return the other party stuff, like my ex returning the guitar that I left at her place, and me giving back her books that she lent me. The heart however, the feelings cannot be returned.

This does not mean that the heart is diminished however. After time, IF you let it, the heart becomes whole again. Broken parts heal, and soon, one is used to the loss of that missing bit. After some MORE time, the heart grows over the bits that are missing. I was about to say that the missing bit grows back. But after some thought, it doesn't. The missing bit is given away. It remains given away. And the replacement, is similar, but not the same. This WHOLE, NEW heart, I realized is better. Sure it's different but it is good. More mature, often bigger, more resilient, and more giving.

Strange isn't it? Give it away, and another grows in its place. Break it, it gets stronger. The more you give, the more you get back, and the more you have. Kinda like blood donation, I heard.

Or like pruning a plant to make it grow better. You know this weird plant called shui xian that a lot of old people who like bonsai grow? Only way to make it flower is to strip almost all the leaves nekkid. Go figure.

A Random Thought

Singapore government wants more babies, but don't want anyone to talk about where babies come from.

I wonder... how many people out there still thinks that storks deliver little wailing packages under cabbage leaves at NTUC.... hmmm


There was a story of the couple who had a problem concieving, and for years consulted the best doctors and gynaes in the field but to no avail. When they finally talked to this ONE specialist, the guy suddenly has a flash of inspiration and after some questioning, finds out that the guy has been screwing the wrong hole all this time. Don't even ASK me where that specialist got his ideas from.

Porn is educational. Watch it.

A recent survey of Singaporeans say that two thirds of Singaporeans have been exposed to porn in one way or another. The other one third in my opinion, are freaking LYING.

The Mad Rush of Life

My goodness, how time flies.

It's been so long since my last entry. And it's almost at the end of the week.

It's interesting when you consider time. Time flies while you're having fun, and when there are a dozen and one things to do. And there's never enough time for everything under the sun.

Einstein is right... heh, time IS relative.

One of the strange thoughts I have whenever I walk on the travellator from one side of Dohby Gaut MRT to the other is this. What if I can speed up time? For myself at least?

What if I have stretch every single second and live in the infinity between every single instant of time?

There are 2 ways to get from point A to point B faster. One, is to just be physically faster. Take a plane, take a bus, run if you have to. But the other way, is... what if you're on something that has got a completely different frame of reference from everything else?

I watched on Discovery Channel that the reason that flies are that fast, is partly because of the way they view time. Their "time sense" is much faster than everything else around them. Now, what if, just what IF we can stretch every single second?

For those who are interested, hey, check out "Thief of Time" by Terry Prachett for a funnier look at this phenomenon.

Now, next question soul-searching question. What the hell do YOU want in life? Everyone wanna get rich. What do YOU want? How much is rich? Why are you rushing through life for?

A friend of mine asked me recently what kind of jobs she can do. I asked her back, what do you WANT to do? Really?

Too many people asking that question, what kind of job should I go into? My answer to that, simply, is whatever you want. Trust me, if you have a passion for that job, you'll excel in it. Money won't be an issue, cos you're gonna get a decent load coming in... simply cos you're that good. And money will even cease to be important, because you're doing what you love.

Now the only question is, what the hell do you want isn't it? Think about it.

Thoughts from "The Game"

For men who have not read "The Game", READ IT.

Women in Singapore have been bitching about men in Singapore in Singapore being boring, crappy, non-gentlemanly, etc etc. I have come to the conclusion that it is NOT because we suck or we do not have anything to offer. In fact, I believe that Singaporean men, in general have a LOT to offer.

We are nice people, generally. Stable (if that's a good thing), pretty decent income, do NOT have the wandering eye (generally) and well, generally pretty decent husband material.

One thing we lack however, that makes us Singaporean males (chinese especially) lose out is our serious lack of POLISH. What do I mean?

Well, we're generally not good with words. We're not smooth, we don't ooze sexuality and sweep women off their feet with just a word or two. When it comes to dates, we aren't all that creative, and in general, when we fall for one gal, the tendancy is to do a veritable imitation of the puppy dog, and follow her around like a well broken in canine.

What we lack, gentlemen, is MARKETING.

And it is time we addressed this.

I have had enough of women whining. And truth be told, we men have a TON of things to offer any potential mate. Now all we have to do is to FLAUNT it. Seriously. Asian modesty be damned. The humbleness of the East, is in large part overwhelmed by the brash loudness of the West. And since this is what women want, this is what women GET.

Not the first time we adapted, this won't be the last either.

I'm not talking about loud 60's shirts, or cussing in Hokkien at the top of your voices. Nope, but the idea is there. There will be occasional woman that can see past the harmless exterior to see the quality inside, but let's not count on it. Time to bring the quality to the surface men.

Where to start? Get a couple of good shirts. Get nice shoes and a good haircut. Work out a little, and most importantly, LEARN communication. Verbal, non-verbal, as well as body language. Let everything about you show exactly the kind of person you are. A catch worthy of even that special woman (or women) in your life. Time to treat them as equals.

No more letting women step all over us, and letting them define our worth. We fucking ROCK and we're not afraid to show it.

Cut loose brothers, we're going out and we're kicking ass. Peace out.

Understanding Women

Sigmund Freud died regretting that he didn't understand women.

I have a feeling that 90% of men probably will be doing the same thing. The remaining 10%? 90% of THOSE men, I believe are gay. The remaining 1% are gifted in ways that no man in the world are.

I just finished reading "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Talks about the life of a Pick Up Artist, his adventures or misadventures. Loads of interesting stories and tips, and brings up a lot of questions as well.

What's the whole purpose of getting this book? Perhaps it's because I want to be more attractive to women? Maybe, just maybe, it's to find at least SOME tools to neutralize the mechanitions of women.

Over the years, I realized that perhaps women do not want the things that they SAY they want. A nice guy, nada. Someone who'll care for them and take care of them. Nope. What about someone who loves them? I doubt it. Truly.

Am I cynical? I don't think so. It's based a lot on observation of what women say they want, and what their actions tell me.

Most of the time, they don't gel.

Anyways, I wonder about what it is that drives two people together anyways. Routines? Games? Theories of what people respond to and thus using them?

I am not sure. I did pick something up from the book though... and it was allt he way near theend. It was a rule, to leave the women better off then when they have met you.

Tall order. Not one that is easily fulfilled. Perhaps it is the intention rather than the actualization of that goal that is important?

What do women REALLY want?

I sometimes think they're not that sure themselves.

Now how do I do this Picture shit?

Up and Coming Yuppie type
Cheem leh... Lemme see how this damn thing is done... once and for all. Confusing, and not much control leh... Think I'll stick to publishing normally on the net, then getting the html thing settled.

My techie days are over...

My dream of a Full Bar

Those of you who know me for some time know that I am always trying for a full bar. I am 2 bottles of booze nearer, courtesy of the Singapore Duty Free shop. Whoo Hoo!!!

Here's the list so far:

1. Grant's Whiskey - not the 100 proof one. I'll get that the next time
2. Kahlua
3. London's Dry Gin
4. Myer's Rum
5. Champagne (this was from Kelvin's birthday. I think I'll have to return it to him)
6. Cinzano - some kinda martini?
7. Martini Extra Dry - James Bond, here I come
8. Drysack - Provocative name but it's actually sherry NEW!
9. Disaronno - Some kinda Italian liquer, salesperson said it's like lemon. Smells like amaretto.

Wish List:

1. Amarula
2. Malibu
3. Southern Comfort
4. Vodka (reason I don't buy is cos it gets used up too quickly)
5. Tequila (Bad shit but hey, one needs to sacrifice for the dream)
6. Amaretto
7. Any other weird and wonderful liquor that anyone can pick up anywhere.

You know what to get me for my birthday now. And sponsor my tattoo fund!

Those of ya who don't know. I think it's about time to get something I have been talking about for the longest time. A "No entry" sign on my ass. Brilliant isn't it? Makes a statement, makes sense, rather asthetically pleasing, AND it's a bit of a laugh.

Well off to the office on Saturday!

My take on casual sex

Let me just say this once and for all for posterity.

I am all FOR casual sex, and pre marital sex, and I'm ALL for flirting and having fun.

Put down those freaking rocks! You'll hurt somebody. And off those damn torches. Let me finish my piece DAMMIT!

Now that everybody's settled down, let me quantify that statement.

I'm all for Casual sex, IF and ONLY IF these conditions are satisfied.
1. No romantic involvement, and both (or more) parties are clear on that. Sure, friends making out, and shagging. Fuck Buddies? Best thing in the world. The lines however are CLEARLY drawn.

2. I am attracted to the lady. Attracted physically and mentally. A friend of mine said something really relavant, and I steal it. "I'll only sleep with the gal IF I am attracted to her when I see her, AND I'm still attracted to her when she opens her mouth." Succint.

3. Both parties (again, or more. Hey, Swinging? Sure!) understand that this is fantastic, gratuitous sex and do not expect anything more. Similar to one, but subtly different.

4. Everyone involved (no more brackets.... wait. Damn) are alright with deeply satisfying, extremely intimate physical relationships. Cos some people just aren't, before marriage.

I am HUGELY ANTI-anyone who uses emotions to get sex or any other kind of satisfaction, physical, material or otherwise. I personally feel that there's a special section of hell reserved for these people. The heart and emotions are sacred. And I'll personally ream anyone who does that, male OR female, a new a**hole with a very blunt screwdriver.

Let's draw the lines clearly and really enjoy ourselves.

As for flirting, well, it's verbal banter, a test of wit. An enormous amount of fun, when taken in the right context.

There, I said it. And if you're not happy, so be it. Your life, your opinions. I respect that. Now respect mine. We agree to disagree. Peace out.

From Jakarta with Love

I am blogging this from Jakarta, having came over on Wednesday night for the preview yesterday. My IT guy and constant clubbing buddy, Zann is still concussed on his bed, and here I am wrapped up in the blanket, sitting in front of the computer, using overpriced broadband.

First time in Jakarta where I don't have to entertain at night. Also first time I'm sick only AFTER I touched down. There's a first for everything I guess.

Loads of folks think that Jakarta is a dangerous place. Walk out into the streets and get mugged, terrorists by the dime, and throw a broken side mirror and you hit 14 bad drivers.

Here's my take. The streets are not as safe as Singapore, and since most of us can't speak good bahasa, and look generally rich. Just be careful flaunting too much money around. Common sense.

Terrorists... hmm... haven't seen any so far, I'll keep a look out. But think about it. Jakarta is NOT a small place. It's got almost 9 million people stretched out in an area where you can comfortably put the whole of Singapore and then maybe Ubin, Sentosa, AND Tekong. Not easy to find a needle in a haystack.

Too often I hear people talking about a flood in Jakarta to mean like the whole place is doing a historical re-enactment of Atlantis. Same thing as having a news report that there's a fire in a flat in Tuas and think that the whole of Singapore is in flames.

Now driving in Jakarta. I am of 2 minds about this. There are a LOT more cars, and traffic jams here at rush hour make CTE at 7pm look like having one inconsiderate driver hogging the lane on a 3-lane road. The Jakarta driver can sneak through gaps that are tighter than Scrooge's butt. On the other hand, I see something here that is strangely absent in Singapore.

People ACTUALLY give way to other drivers.

I know, it's true... No matter how apparently RUDE these other drivers are, people actually give way. It's amazing! Makes driving in Jakarta a lot safer than some places in sg.

One plus point about Jakarta I give you. They have the most amazing restaurants. There's an enormous amount of things one can do with space. Yesterday we went to a place, where the ENTIRE museum is converted into a restaurant. The menus come at the back of photo frames, and my goodness... the place is pretty damn big. Food's not fantastic, but hey, when one is eating dinner at nearly midnight, it tastes pretty damn good to me.

Well... enough rants and raves of Jakarta. I'll be touching down in Sg again tonight at 915... ahhh... duty free... Makes ANY trip seem worthwhile. 2 more bottles to my dream of a full bar.

Make Out Songs.

I have been searching really hard for songs that fit this category... songs that just trigger something in the person, and sets the mood.

Too slow, doesn't work. Fall Asleep
Too fast, and it's more dancefloor, kick-ass, I'm gonna rock your world mood...

What's the PERFECT make out song for ya? Suggestions!!

So far, I have 3 that kinda fit the bill.

1. Kissing a Fool - George Michael
2. You can Leave your Hat On - Tom Jones or Joe Cocker
3. Virtually every song in Janet's Damita Jo album

I NEED MORE!

Sex Education

I remember when I was in Secondary Two, we were finally getting a subject in Science class that all of us have an enormous interest in.

Sex Education.

That was the first year that sex education was to be taught in the classrooms, as I recall.

My science teacher was one a pretty, young thing as well. Oh... now I paid FULL attention in class, you can be sure of that.

It was a 2 lesson long class, and we were given quite a stack of notes to go through. All the way from the biological drawing of the male penis, and the female vagina, to the process of sex, described the same way a scientific experiment was described.

I remember that the lessons were run through damn fast. Only time our science teacher finished class ahead of time too. I also remember that at least for those 2 classes, there was no need for her to wear any kind of blusher to class.

Truth is I learnt absolutely NOTHING from those 2 classes. To put it another way, I would have learnt as much about driving on the road as I would from reading 2 engineering textbooks. I reckon I learnt more from Aunt Aggie in one issue of Teenage (remember? LONG LONG Time ago?) than from the lessons AND the notes combined.

Naturally, consientious student that I am, I went ahead and did my own research. Encyclopedia Britannica, the dictionary, the copy of Hustler and the couple of erotic stories that my friend downloaded and printed out from bulletin boards (there was no Internet at that time).

I wonder why there wasn't a project on this particular subject. I would have aced it hands down.

Truth be told, I believe that this way of conducting sex education is completely, absolutely, WRONG. Bright pink checked shirts may have more going for it than the school sex education syllabus.

Here's what I'd do if I was given my hand at sex education. I'd teach my kids to be comfortable with their bodies and to respect themselves and each other. This I believe is the absolute cornerstone of any sex education class.

Fuck this up, and the rest is shite.

First and foremost, we'll talk about growing up and the human libido. How some people have more and others less. How it's best to acknowledge your sex drive as part of yourself and control it. One cannot effectively control something one does not know or understand, right?

Next, relationships. Now that is EASILY a whole term spent here. But condensed, we relate that back to respect and loving themselves and others.

A quick lesson on foreplay might be in order. But personally I won't really emphasize this bit. Unsupervised experimentation in the presence of too much information is a dangerous thing.

After that, we'll talk about sex, and its various manifestations.

The ramifications of sex is important. Run through contraceptives and their application. Pregnancy and birth, coupled with abortion, and the dark side of sex. No, I won't scare them half to death, but I believe that it is important this msg is brought forefully home.

Might even consider a segment on alternative relationships like lesbians and gays if there was time.

At the end of the day, what I want is a balanced view of sex. I want my class to be comfortable with the idea of sex, and what it means, yet at the same time let them form their own opinions. I also want them to be comfortable, and hey, some time in the future, have an outstanding sex life.

Then again, I'm not planning the school syllabus am I? I don't think MOE will ever let me use Playboy as part of the course material. But a man can dream.

Free Speech, Sex and Perfect Competition

Loads of hype and stories and attention on blogs nowadays. Seems like there is one more article today on Straits Times Digital Life about sex blogs.

Questions on the internet always bring to mind the free speech issue. The question of where the limit of freedom is, and when if at any time, any kind of real world authority should step in to regulate.

This is cyberspace, the last frontier on Earth. The Wild West on a global scale, the literal "perfect competition".

When Adam Smith put forth the idea of perfect competition, he could have been thinking of the Internet. Without any literal funnels or barriers except one's mind, one is literally able to explore all of the world and jump from one data stream to another at a click of the mouse button.

Almost zero barriers to entry, except for the strength needed to move the cursor, and truly online, there's nothing more than coloured pixels on the screen.

In the ultimate representation of free speech, should there be a certain kind of regulation? Or should there, as in the case of the perfect competition model, let the public mind, or the group censor itself?

Heavy questions.

I put forward to you, my friends an alternate point of view to the immediate reaction of the public to yet another chain the Singaporean government has seen fit to weigh us down with.
With the advent of free speech, and the invention and proliferation of the net, consider carefully the things that would be seen by everyone. You , the person that creates a webpage, or puts something online, have the power to shape lives, because any and everyone can see what you write. That, at the very least, is a power unto itself.

Use it wisely.

That being said, the net is where ALL points of view can be expressed. Mainstream, alternative, out of this world, or out of the dimensions even. Each point of view, each thought, each idea has a life of its own, and it is up to the audience to accept or reject, or even boycott.

Messages being sent need fertile ground for it to be recieved. The net is a sending medium. The person that surfs is a receiver.

Let us then NOT put the onus completely on the shoulders of those who send out messages, but also spend some time to work on the soil that the seeds land on.

Can we keep the Singaporean in the greenhouse forever? Is that even advisable?

Why look at only the Singaporean blogger? Should we even consider the nationality of the blogger in the first place? If I post a seditious entry in international waters, does that then make it acceptable?

Blogs are vents to what lies in the minds and hearts of people. The net, a medium by which the silent majority is given a voice to the world. To the powers that be, if you're reading this. I have this to say. Ignore this voice and this feedback at your own risk. Ideas have a way of popping up and growing the more one quash them down.

Brilliant ideas grow out of the fertile loam of chaos, don't they?

As far as sex blogs are concerned. Is sex not part of life? Forsake sex, and how are you gonna get 2.2 children per couple as replacement rate? I completely agree with Sex Doll is a beautiful and natural part of life. NO WAY are we ever gonna get artifically inseminated and raise the kids. All work and no play??? Are you fucking NUTS?!

Hey think about it... every single person sitting in parliament right now, can trace his or her roots to one dark stormy night and hot torrid sex right?

So, last word on this, before I rant on and on. Folks that post, remember your audience. Powers that be, learn to let go before it kills you. And if you really want someone to always agree to everything you do and say, get a dog or a Filipino maid.

Internet, the Last Frontier

Loads of hype and stories and attention on blogs nowadays. Seems like there is one more article today on Straits Times Digital Life about sex blogs.

Questions on the internet always bring to mind the free speech issue. The question of where the limit of freedom is, and when if at any time, any kind of real world authority should step in to regulate.

This is cyberspace, the last frontier on Earth. The Wild West on a global scale, the literal "perfect competition".

When Adam Smith put forth the idea of perfect competition, he could have been thinking of the Internet. Without any literal funnels or barriers except one's mind, one is literally able to explore all of the world and jump from one data stream to another at a click of the mouse button.

Almost zero barriers to entry, except for the strength needed to move the cursor, and truly online, there's nothing more than coloured pixels on the screen.

In the ultimate representation of free speech, should there be a certain kind of regulation? Or should there, as in the case of the perfect competition model, let the public mind, or the group censor itself?

Heavy questions.

I put forward to you, my friends an alternate point of view to the immediate reaction of the public to yet another chain the Singaporean government has seen fit to weigh us down with.

With the advent of free speech, and the invention and proliferation of the net, consider carefully the things that would be seen by everyone. You , the person that creates a webpage, or puts something online, have the power to shape lives, because any and everyone can see what you write. That, at the very least, is a href="http://vandalin.blogspot.com/2005/10/power.html"> power unto itself.

Use it wisely.

That being said, the net is where ALL points of view can be expressed. Mainstream, alternative, out of this world, or out of the dimensions even. Each point of view, each thought, each idea has a life of its own, and it is up to the audience to accept or reject, or even boycott.

Messages being sent need fertile ground for it to be recieved. The net is a sending medium. The person that surfs is a receiver.

Let us then NOT put the onus completely on the shoulders of those who send out messages, but also spend some time to work on the soil that the seeds land on.

Can we keep the Singaporean in the greenhouse forever? Is that advisable?

Why look at only the Singaporean blogger? Should we even consider the nationality of the blogger in the first place? If I post a seditious entry in international waters, does that then make it acceptable?

Blogs are vents to what lies in the minds and hearts of people. The net, a medium by which the silent majority is given a voice to the world. To the powers that be, if you're reading this. I have this to say. Ignore this voice and this feedback at your own risk. Ideas have a way of popping up and growing the more one quash them down.

Brilliant ideas grow out of the fertile loam of chaos, don't they?

As far as sex blogs are concerned. Is sex not part of life? Forsake sex, and how are you gonna get 2.2 children per couple as replacement rate? I completely agree withhttp://sexwarfare.blogspot.com/" sex doll. Sex is a beautiful and natural part of life. NO WAY are we ever gonna get artifically inseminated and raise the kids. All work and no play??? Are you fucking NUTS?!

Hey think about it... every single person sitting in parliament right now, can trace his or her roots to one dark stormy night and hot torrid sex right?

So, last word on this, before I rant on and on. Folks that post, remember your audience. Powers that be, learn to let go before it kills you. And if you really want someone to always agree to everything you do and say, get a dog or a Philipino maid.

An Interesting thought.

I learnt this yesterday.

Anything "bad" that happens in life, we can look about it two ways. One, that it truly is something that sucks. Two, that it is something by which we can continuously improve on.

Kinda like computer game. No matter how many time we fuck up in the game, no matter how many times we "die", we keep going back and trying to find a way to get through the stage.

What's the reward for that? Another stage, another level, more difficult, more challenging than the current one.

Do we consider that to be sucky? Nope! Some obsessive game freaks even try to unlock the secret bonus super-hard, tear your hair out, ultra-frustrating level created by the sick demented powers that be, just so as to get a little more kick out of their lives.

I know someone like that. My dear ex-room mate Alan, went through Final Fantasy 9 at least 5 times. I know. I watched him do it. He MUST unlock every single cheat, every bonus weapon, every spare spell for EVERY FREAKING CHARACTER IN THE GAME.

He'll trawl the internet to find all the cheats, all the walkthroughs, even crack a few codes, and play every single character twice to find the "best builds" for each character. Now that my friends, is dedication.

Imagine doing that to your life. Think it'll make a difference how you'll live and the way you see things in your life?

Btw, for the game "Magic", my single round maximum damage stands at 117 points. Beat THAT!

Lamenting the departure of a friend...

It's official, my home comp is on its last breath.

After a long illustrious career, my desktop is nearing the end of its life. It's been almost a decade, much longer than any of his peers. It has moved beyond the status of a reliable home implement, to something that's much closer.

It has been a friend and a companion through the last decade of my life.

Wow... a third of my life, with one object.

A lot of memories in those integrated circuit board.

It came into being as an experiment in computer building by my uncle before he migrated to Canada. It turned out well, and it was purring like a kitten when we first threw the switch and electricity flowed through its power supply.

Over the next decade after that fateful day, it has witnessed the transitions of my life from student to working adult.

It's been with me when I was writing my Final Thesis for my graduation, as well as my first resume.

It has in its memory the times where I chatted with all my buddies from around the world.

It remembers the time when my ex wrote a "Dear John" email to me.

The fun times on IRC, msn, and ICQ, and some more colourful times on internet. Yes yes, I admit, I have seen porn on the internet. 2/3 of Singaporeans admit to have done it. The other one third's lying.

Some say, that the soul of the computer, if it has one, is in the hard disk. If that's the case... Maybe, just maybe... we'll see a revival (Frankenstein comes to mind)

Wonder where the soul of the human lies...

Strange Driving Habits of the Singaporean

I noticed something recently when I am driving.

Every single time I try to filter from one lane to another, whether it be on minor 2 laners, or the PIE, the SECOND I switch ON my right signal, the car on the "target lane" will immediately ACCELERATE!

It's strange. I even tried just switching on my signal but NOT changing lanes... or switching lanes, but not signalling (forgive me, traffic police, but this is in the spirit of experimentation). And guess what, when I switch on my signal light, the other car, no matter how far back, will start speeding up.

In fact, I noticed that I was doing it myself as well. Till I caught myself and slowed down again. It's more regular than a bull charging a red cloth.

Is it possible? Can we Singaporeans be all brain-washed at birth? Or perhaps there is something sinister about the new plastic Singapore driver's license?

The next experiment I'd conduct will be leaving my driver's license at home. Let's see if it works on quashing this strange compulsion.

Hmmm... more on this experiment next time.

The Ladder Theory

This is something that I found in my university days. Interesting... and it substantiated my "bastard theory". But we'll talk about the bastard theory another day at another time.

What the heck is the ladder theory? People, time to do some reading.

Interesting isn't it?

Sorry ladies, but even you know that you don't say everything that's in your head. True?

One of my pet peeves is when I hear a gal says,"All I want is a nice guy. But all of them are either married or gay." Maybe I'm getting cynical. Maybe I had a pretty crap experience at some point of time in the last 26 years. Or maybe, JUST maybe, too often that's NOT what women want.

Way I see it, the reason why there are so few available "nice guys" is cos they get killed off. Kinda like the hydrogen atom in nature. Either it finds something else to bond to, or it will have to change.

What do nice guys change to? Bastards.

From observation, some of the biggest bastards around were, at some point of time in their lives, the nicest guys.

Also, the HORNY human male is one of the most adaptable, and possibly one of the most determined lifeforms on earth. In fact, we're a veritable force of nature. If women truly desire the nice guy, there is gonna be a heck of a lot more nice guys around. Truly.

Another thought. Ladies, I put forward to you, that the "nice guy" is boring. In South America, they have a saying, "May all your dreams be fulfilled but ONE." They know this. If something fulfils every single one of your desires, there is no more drive, no more desire, no more excitement, no more... spark.

Be careful what you wish for. Because you just might get it.

Lads and lassies, if you have found your other half, good for you. Your lives will never be perfect. Your partners is not perfect. That's what makes your partner, your partner. The good, the bad, everything. Treasure EVERYTHING.

If you haven't, no need to rush. Take your time and enjoy your singlehood.

On a lighter note

Ahhh... CoCo Latte....

I think I'm gonna be chillin at that place for a good long time to come.

It is interesting to get to know the people that work there as well.

The bouncer with the Superman dogtag.... the bartender with a tag that looks like a turntable, and that cute waitress that seem to always get in me way.

I actually intended to get back a little earlier... but hey... who can resist good RnB eh?

Popped over to the Liquid and DXO today. DXO is completely DEAD. The decor is nice though, so if you wanna chill, maybe, JUST maybe DXO might not be a bad place to go... but for dancing... forget it. Liquid, well.... I'll head over when Coldflow is behind the decks. House and trance just attracts the wrong kinda crowd... standing around and shit...

Welll tomorrow is gonna be a half day. I reckon I can get my article done in the day then head out at night... all i need is good company and more importantly, good music. Maybe I can persuade Ti Eu to get me over to that retro private party he was talking about.

Hmmm... something to look forward to... Been a while since I actually had a good dance and a good snog... I'll see if we can work something out this weekend.

Complications in Life

I am reminded of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Not the book but the series... Somewhere along the way, I read about the BIRD. And it was an interesting concept. It introduced the concepts of filters and how everything that exists has some kind of filter, and need these filters to survive.

Remove the filters, and remove life. On the other hand, if a being can take live with absolutely no filters, that being becomes pretty damn close to omnipotent.

Back to life in general. Over the last few months, I have realized that people really, Really, REALLY need complications. For them, it works the same way. See the clutter in your room? See the way that doctors try to name every single damn bone in the body, and give a completely unintelligible name for every other muscle?

Sometimes the reason why people do NOT like things being simple is cos perhaps that takes away from their sense of importance. Say trading. Why go for inanely complicated concepts when simple ones make tons of cash?

Cos they don't feel safe. Folks need to find out EVERYTHING. This is their security blanket.

Me, I'm relatively simple, I believe. That's because I'm absolutely, completely, sanely LAZY.

I have completely NO desire or energy to expend outside of the necessary. Loads of other much more interesting things out there to occupy my time and energy. Partying, Salsa, taking over the world...

I reckon that most depressed people in the world have the most complex views on life. Make it simple, and bring it back to basics, and I think the world is a much better, and much happier place to live.